It’s hard work to change our mind sets.
Why? Because ‘mind sets’ shape up, layer by layer, over time.
If the silo that stores our mind sets was stripped away, we'd be surprised to see some of the attitudes, which would tumble out of our brains.
In addition to conscious mind sets, concerning what feels right (brush your teeth every morning and night) vs. what feels wrong (Upon realizing that you'd rushed out of the house without brushing your teeth, your anxiety over last night's garlic breath keeps hijacking your sense of clarity, so you can't track the concerns of the most important client you've ever tried to land, because all you can think is: How could I be so dumb!) ... mind sets also shape up subconsciously.
Hmmm ... Something tells me that the engine, which directs the path of my thought processor may need to pull this train of thought along a track and through a tunnel, where one car couples up with another until clarity reveals kernels of truth that are trying to pop out of this engineer's mind as fully formed insights . And as it seems likely that the little red caboose may not chug round the bend for a quite some time, this may be a good time to take a break ...J
Deep seated mind sets, which create pathways for thought patterns, are based in experiences, remembered and 'forgotten'. For example, if Mother Nature saw fit to bury exceptionally sad or scary experiences deep inside our minds, then subliminal 'memories' may trigger undertows, empowered to pull one person's spirit down, down, down into a black hole of despair when everyone else is recovering from serious loss, bouncing back from grief and lightening up. In short, the bent of each person's outlook, today, is all too often, unknowingly based in personal experiences, which took place, long ago. In fact ...
I take issue with this metaphor:
Cup half full vs. cup half empty
Why?
Because the fine line, which separates one from the other can easily blur
So that an adult who believes in optimistic view points
May, unknowingly harbor pessimistic attitudes, based in insecurities
Which remain buried within an old, painful mind set
That festers anew, again and again
As I remain hopeful that positive attitudes control my mind sets, most often
I pay attention to those times when my cup seems to empty out
And my tears flow forth from deep within without end
Because endless tears indicate
That my heart had reason to spring a leak when I was very young
And that darned, old leak will not quit drip-drip-dripping down my cheeks—
Until my mind can grasp which puzzle piece from yesteryear is trying to emerge
So clarity can reshape a mind set, which ignores common sense, today!
As I work to figure out which of my mind sets
May be in need of straightening out, today—
The leaks in my heart heal up—one by one
And thus do I grow ever more deeply aware of this fact:
My cup has never been less than half full!
And as I can see clearly, now, my spirit thrives
My smile glows from deep within—and guess what happens next?
My cup overflows with forgiveness and good will toward all!
So here’s what I think to do
When my eyes overflow with tears, yet again:
I make A PLAN to identify a mind set
Which may be based in a subconscious insecurity
That feeds a negative attitude, which unawarely pulls me down
And once I can see clearly that a new day has dawned
I feel free at last, free at last
Free to move forward with those for whom the sun shines brightly—at long last!
And what makes me a believer as these PLANS shape up and evolve?
The fact that clarity and simplicity is inherent to every PLAN
So these plans do not just work for me and mine
These plans (which I share, enthusiastically
With every ear open to working toward change)
Are embraced by those who ring my bell, year after year
And as group after group applaud each other's success stories and ask for more
What I ask, could make a family communications instructor feel better that that?
When I want the sun to break through a sad place that weighs heavy on my spirit, I encourage my mind to process through a step-by-step plan, whereby I can muster the courage, patience and grace to accept changes, which are irreversible and beyond my control—changes brought upon by growth, leading to conflicts; incurable ailments or the aging process, which unfolds at the end of the last stage of each person's life, leading to death. In short:
I work to accept changes that confuse me, today, which may clarify in due time.
As this train of thought is still coupling cars, it seems likely that the caboose may not chug round the bend for a while, so this may be a good time to take another break ...J
In truth it's mystifying to think that every living thing is born to work hard to survive and strive toward success in many aspects of life—just to wither and die. And when a child's subconscious has had reason to harbor fear of death or abandonment at an early stage of development—and that child's high spirited attachment to life appears to be grounded—none may have a clue that a black cloud hangs heavy within the cobwebs of such an impressionable, young mind. And so—
Though much about life may not seem just
And much that's changed may not seem to make sense
Much that seems confusing, today, must be born
Until 'tomorrow' when the wealth of human knowledge expands—
Which, in truth, is exactly what happens
While each of us chugs forward
Along the time line, one day at a time
And the fact that we each
Choose to make different stops along the way
Determines which insights some of us may glean
Today
Vs. lessons which others
May learn and share
Tomorrow
And hopefully, while each vulnerable individual keeps chugging along
A tomorrow will dawn
Where we'll encounter an AHA! moment
Which may enable more of us to understand
Much of whatever
We'd not yet fathomed
Yesterday
And as we come to understand, today
That which few had fathomed
Yesterday—
A sense of awareness may deepen
Throughout a community as a whole—
Until so many insights light up
Within each person's mind
That narrow mind sets begin to take small steps
Toward positively focused change
In such even calm, even tempered ways
That defensive clouds part and the sun comes out—
If not today
Then hopefully tomorrow...
Or the tomorrow after that ...
As the positive effects of insight enhanced my good health
I began to work to shape a plan
That might connect subconscious mind-sets with my conscious mind
And thus, have I fed my need to tunnel toward the formation
Of one simple, step-by-step PLAN after another in hopes that
Old attitudes, which I'd not known had a negative bent
May turn a corner which brightens my outlook—with hope—yet again!
As you watch my development chug forward, step by step, in depth
You’ll come to see that while each step of each PLAN
Is shaping up inside my mind
I'll have no clue that my subconscious is encouraging me
To work through a well ordered, solution-seeking process
In hopes of solving a problem, so complex
That I cannot consciously fathom the depth or breadth of its layers, as of yet.
As put downs and the blame game
Oppose the success of simplifying these SOLUTION SEEKING PLANS
Leadership may not be inherited, assumed, or usurped
In fact, leadership is hard won
By way of being
Patiently, carefully, and thus caringly
Earned.
You see, rather than weakening others
By way of put downs
Or elevating myself
By playing the blame game
I work at absorbing factual knowledge
Into the creative center of my brain until
Aha!—Another PLAN pops out of my mind
As this train of thought is still coupling cars, it seems likely that the caboose may not chug into sight for a while, so this may be a good time to take another break ...J
In line with my interest in gathering knowledge, I learned that research is questing for answers, concerning the connectedness of neuro-biology and emotion. This research quests for answers to questions such as these:
Does the existing structure of the brain create what the brain does?
Or does what the brain does recreate it's structure?
(Which comes first the chicken or the egg?)
For example:
If Post Traumatic Syndrome Disorder modifies the subconscious structure of a brain's reactions then can reactions, caused by PTSD, be consciously reversed?
In short, how can pathways that neurons travel be modified?
In the aftermath of that discussion, these questions popped out of my mind:
Which part of my brain grabs control of my thought processor most often—
The emotional side—where imagination quell fears that I can't admit to myself—
Or the logical side—which quests for clarity and balance in all things?
Which part of my brain do I want to be in charge of the sum of my parts—
Especially when life's most painful problems arise—
And solutions to conflicts must be sought—
The egocentric part of my brain or the silo where knowledge is organized and stored?
Which part of my brain is too willful to be trained—
To recognize the validity of 'both sides' when conflicts arise?
Which part of my brain can be trained to absorb when (and how) to maintain self control
VS. when to let my spirit and tongue go-go-go?
Just as questions will appear on the time line before answers may be determined down the line ...
Deep seated problems will surface before the strength of our relationships are tested.
In post after post, I draw pictures of the inner workings of my mind. Why?
Because the brain is made up of many complex, interactive parts. And the ways in which these parts have been organized, get disorganized, and must be reorganized may determine which of our perceptions and decisions are based in reality or denial. In fact, we can use this post to exemplify the way the mind works:
When I awoke and began to write, I'd no clue which thought would lead to the next. In lieu of A PLAN, I allowed whatever flew out of my brain to pop up on my screen. Once a train of thought chugs it's way out and the caboose into sight, the editing portion of my thought processor takes over as engineer. And though that two step process works just fine while I'm alone with my thoughts, all hell might break loose if, in the midst of verbal conflict, we allow the content of our brains to spill out of our mouths without much reflection into yesterday’s explosive mistakes. Rather than creating a step-by-step approach toward reshaping yesterday’s disasters into tomorrow’s success stories, we tend to let our tongues flap on and on, blind to the ways in which our misperceived mind sets may be knocking others down while we kick the truth around until it's full of holes.
"In a disordered mind, as in a disordered body, soundness of health is impossible." Cicero
(No sign of the caboose so, may I suggest taking a break ...J)
As long we confuse personal perceptions with solid facts, hard boiled mind sets will spin circles around the truth until every mind involved smashes, dizzily, into the same old, solid walls. When hard boiled eggs smash into walls, all the king's horses and all the king's men can't put them back together, again. Why not? Because solutions, which take everyone's needs into account, rely upon expansive ideas. Unfortunately, expansive ideas can't soak into hard boiled beliefs, which layer up into solid rock formations, over time.
In truth, my thought processor needed several, huge thwacks on the head before the doors to my mind sets loosened enough to allow me access into the spongy parts of my brain, which offer room for my idealistic belief systems to expand. Oh—by the way, did I mention that it's within the spongy part of the brain that positively focused leadership skills lie in wait to be discovered and developed?
Needless to say, children's brains are still so spongy that they absorb by way of monkey see—monkey do. Monkey hear—monkey say. Monkey feel—monkey react naturally and thus, spontaneously—which is why tis wise to role model self control with the consistency that Big Monkey wants little monkey's brain to absorb. No consistency? Illogical to expect it back! Mutual respect is an exchange.
Thank goodness, today's little monkeys are learning how to gain control over their egos in time out, thus allowing humility more brain space to consider new choices, tomorrow, than those made, today.
Now—if Big Monkeys choose to muscle up on humility and tame their egos in time out, then A PLAN for transforming family disasters into success stories might pop out of the creative centers of adult minds more often than during generations, past.
During the years when I raising little monkeys, jumping on the bed, I found myself in need of a savings PLAN. Not to save money. We saw the wisdom in opening a savings account for that.
I needed A PLAN to save my sanity whenever family life drove my thought processor batty!
Luckily, while reading a gazillion parenting books, simple plans began to formulate deep inside my mind. Not 12 step plans. Not 7 step plans. Three step plans. Why condense so much that I'd absorbed into three simple steps? Two reasons: We were playing follow the leader, and once the leader's mind is losing its grip on sanity (and self control), it was impossible for more than three thoughts to line up logically enough to hold my temper in check. Secondly, these plans needed to be as easy as one—two— three, so that each of my children could maintain control over their egos, on the spot—without needing to take a time out. As you shall see, when a plan called THE LINE OF CONTOL appears on the time line of my life, we learned to hold our tempers in check, so often, that solution seeking equated with team work.
As each three step plan shaped up
And soaked into the spongy part of each mind, over time
You can bet your bottom dollar that tantrums stopped ( including mine)
And tomorrow there was sun ... because—
Just think'in about
The sun coming out ... tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrooow ...
Til there's none
Tomorrow, tomorrow
I love you—tomorrow—
Cause
Sanity's three steps awaaaay!
And now you know why
With the passage of time
I thought to call my very first PLAN:
THE THREE STEP—PROBLEM SOLVING—SANITY SAVING PLAN.
As I became aware of the surprising ways in which the parts of the brain interconnect, I chose to train my brain to function in such a way that, classic heartfelt goals may be achieved by a group of unique individuals, who working as a team in support of each other's needs, recognize the benefits derived when our strengths focus toward the good of the whole. And since I can feel the story telling part of my brain gearing up to switch tracks, I hope you know that when your curiosity is aroused by anything I choose to write and if you wish to know more—the comment box is always hungry and waiting to be fed.
As for me, I'm feeling the need to tell you more about myself when I was three and too young to fathom why every smile, which had shone directly at my little monkey face,
suddenly turned upside down.
Oh my gosh! I can feel this train of thought winding down inside my mind, at last, meaning that our little red caboose may actually make it's way through this tunnel—quite soon ...J
As a three year old mind can not come up with a plan to chase away storm clouds, which swirl confusion, round and round, my spongy, young brain grew so dizzy, scared and sad that my smile turned upside down, and my blue eyes teared up. And since the spunk of my spirit fell flat, all I felt,
deep inside, was black and blue, through and through. How do I know all this to be true?
One day, not so long ago, my eyes had reason to overflow with tears, which refused to dam up. This led my adult mind to overflow with very sad questions in need of answers. Thankfully, as I chugged forward on the time line, the bent of the spongy part of my brain continued to quest for insight until I came to engage with Post Traumatic Therapy.
As my thirst for
logic was satiated, sense was made of non-sense—despair lessened; HOPE awakened and dried my tears. And each time another piece of logic unlocks from my subconscious and pops out on my screen (and yours), I add another firefly to my cache until an epiphany sweeps yet
another subconscious demon out of the closet of my mind. And knowing myself to be an openly social creature as well as a teacher, who embraces changing mind sets
and the concept of connectedness, I've invited you to ride back and forth along the time line of my life, collecting clues, forgotten here and there for this reason:
Seeing is believing, and I aim to show you how a mind, too shaken for clarity, becomes a mind divided from the
core of oneself as a whole. As the whole is made up of the sum of our parts, it's not wise to remain in denial of mind sets that cause our tongues to aim bullets at the vulnerabilities of others when, in truth, bullets between pots and kettles boomerang back and forth, until we
unknowingly shoot
ourselves in the head—not just when we're playing with cap guns as kids, but when mindsets make fatal mistakes in judgement till a relationship is wasted.
Whereas, yesterday, my mind set raced in circles and smashed
blindly into walls—
today, my energy source devotes less time to rescuing mind sets, lost in mazes, which burn logic to a crisp. On the other hand, I do not lose sight of HOPE for a better tomorrow, because who knows when the next person inside the burning building may latch on to an insight that suggests the time is ripe to take a leap of faith out of the tower and leave head-on-collisions smoldering down to ash behind ... and now you know why I continue to show up with heartfelt smiles, warning signs and safety nets in hand ... Ah love—thee art as complex as life! And so are our trains of thought—for example, I'd no clue that this post about identifying mind sets was trying to pull a whole train filled with simple PLANS for future success.
Whew! Thank goodness it's shown up at last, because my mind is all tuckered out and the whites of my eyes are as red as ...
