1384 FAMILY GATHERS ROUND

Sooo, David flew home on Thursday to enjoy football's opening weekend with our family, and as always, as soon as he lands, his first call is to Steven, and without exception, here are his words:  Where is my baby?  Steven, loving how deeply his sweet daughter is adored, came for dinner with Ravi, who squealed with delight to see her Uncle David, waiting to hug her close in happy anticipation of enjoying his niece's sunny, funny personality, over the next several days.  On Friday, David, Papa and I enjoyed a play date with Ravi, beginning at 10am, followed, later, by Celina and Steven joining us for dinner, and today, we'll meet my niece and nephew at David's favorite pizza parlor for lunch ... One of the things I love about our family is the fact that when one of us comes to town, everyone feels eager to gather round ... and as enjoying time with my peeps surpasses every other priority. you can see why time to write is short ...

1383 TODAY, A SPECIAL DAY OF LOVING REFLECTION

Today is the third anniversary of my mother's hundredth birthday
Today, just as everyday, my mother's presence lives within my heart. ...
Today and forever, her spirit and mine remain intertwined
I love you, Mom

1382 DO YOU PROFESS TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND?

I work to have an open mind
Note the word 'work' instead of 'think'
My think tank specified which word to choose for this reason:
During gestation, the embryonic human brain is preprogramed to
Develop mindsets, which, in the aftermath of momentous experiences
During childhood, are subconsciously repressed, and since
Unconscious patterns of thought are secreted from conscious awareness
We're likely to remain blind to those moments when the arousal of
Opposing subconscious mindsets begins to lace in and out of
Our solution-seeking conversations, indicating that
A very subtle power struggle for dominance has begun

Stop the presses!
I just enjoyed an 'Aha!' moment for this reason:
Today's intuitive train of thought has clarified this insight:
The fact that I've worked to develop my brain's sense of
Insight-driven absorptivity empowers my think tank's
Conscious sense of reflectivity to grow ever more aware of
Those moments when my intuitive voice pipes up, cautioning
My sense of clarity to remain instinctively alert to sniffing out
The subtleties of a struggle-for-power-in-the-making, suggesting why
My thought processor finds itself ensnared within a net of
Emotional confusion (based in subconscious conflict) much less
Frequently, presently, than had been true in times past when
The subconsciously insecure pleaser-in-me had been so quick to
Serve the needs of my loved ones as to have unwittingly denied
The existence of my own, and with today's insight brightening
My outlook (concerning my present ability to open my mind to
Absorb the bigger picture at hand in time to name and tame
A sudden surge of frustration by identifying a power struggle in need of
Nipping in the bud), we can imagine my eyes (the windows to my soul)
Smiling each time my thought processor reflects back to moments spent
Solution-seeking with you ... comment box always eager to be fed ...

1381 WHEN TO GO IT ALONE VS WHEN TO BUDDY UP?

When to forge your existential path alone and when to buddy up?
That is the question

When to buddy up and with whom to buddy up?
That is a classic and universal question

When to identify self defeating traits to which subconscious defensiveness blinds us?
That is a classic, universal and timeless question, requiring everyone's courage

When to backtrack to consider new insights, concerning clarity, added to post 1380?
That is today's question, humbly requesting your patience

1380 OBSERVING WHEELS TURNING THIS WAY OR THAT WAY INSIDE MY MIND

So, here's what I surmise ...
Three groups of readers choose to observe wheels turning within my mind:
One group 'reads me', because you find my family saga intriguing while another group 'reads me', because you, like me, have come to 'see' the importance of gaining insight into the natural state of complexity that resides inside the human brain, which (being your spirit's primary mode of transportation toward better or worse), hopefully, inspires you to forge a path toward reaching whatever goals your personal needs long to achieve), and since your conscious mind finds the inner workings of this complex machine (which needs a tune up, from time to time) to be deeply intriguing, you'd rather consider my intuitive approach to imparting knowledge than slogging through a scientific, yawn inducing text, and finally, we come to the third group, who find my story and my need to seek and impart knowledge personally absorbing.  As for me, I see my story as offering us a bird's eye view that maps out the the bigger picture of the path, which I've consciously chosen to carve out for myself in hopes of expanding mindsets, secreted within my subconscious, so as to grow to be the open-minded person I choose to be today.

Actually, in the absence of knowledge (researched over my lifetime and absorbed more deeply, recently, than had been possible during my younger years, when my professional and family life kept my brain hopping, here and there, from one sunrise to the next), my saga would have offered a very different tale for this reason:  Many of my decisions, which have switched tracks from a place of complacent subservience (rooted in repressed, unprocessed insecurities) toward today's self-assertive stance (rooted in the decisive strengths of my consciously considered, personal convictions) would have remained based in self demeaning attitudes, unconsciously absorbed during childhood, and that difference as made all the difference in the stories that I've yet to pen ... and if you ask how I know that assertion to be based in deeper truth, I'd reply:  Before I'd thought to deepen my understanding of the classic functions of my brain, my think tank had blindly absorbed many more parent tapes than I'd consciously known.  And many of those parent tapes had need to be rewound and reconsidered before my adult thought processor felt free to develop the listening skills necessary to hear my intuitive voice coaching my tunnel visioned comfort zone to grow ever more naturally receptive to resolving inner conflicts by identifying thought patterns, based in positively focused insights, which had opposed subconscious insecurities that I'd harbored unconsciously.  And having absorbed insight into  my need to consciously remind myself to loosen tightly wound coils of defensive resistance, wrapped around my thought processor's natural ability to expand, consider and absorb fresh ideas, I've grown ever more able to refocus my thought processor's naysayer toward considering a positively focused point of view, and as my sense of readiness to grow ever more receptive to expanding my mindsets inspires my think tank to absorb deeper truths, concerning the sum of my traits, guess what sits more quietly in a time out chair than had ever been possible, before?  My defensive reactions, which had painfully rebelled against listening receptively to constructive criticism until my think tank gained insight into the primary reason why two heads, forging parellel paths toward each one's personal growth (where change for the better welcomes our arrival though not necessarily simultaneously) can be better than one.  And the reason that no individual walks in my footsteps is because, insight into deeper truth suggests that no one's life experiences are exact replicas of another's.

Nothing riled my mother's defensive reaction more quickly than hearing my father say
You're acting just like Mrs. T! (my mother's mother), suggestive of this deeper truth:
No matter how pointedly we work to differentiate our thought patterns from those of our parents, defensive denial blinds us, one and all, to subconscious hot spots, concerning negatively charged traits, rooted in parental tapes, absorbed, unconsciously, during childhood ... and as long as our defensive reactions refuse to lift the veil on need to specify and tame self defeating traits, our brain's natural capacity for mind expansion (necessary to shift negatively focused attitudes toward change for the better) will remain in a tightly coiled, explosive state behind our walls of denial, keeping conscious need for personal growth secreted within the tunnel-visioned framework of our self deceptive (self defeating) point of view  ...

As long as subconscious misperceptions fear darkness, ahead ... darkness will consume our spirits ... and that is why, at times when my mind feels mired within inner conflict, my decision maker, which has been consciously groomed to direct my natural tendency to react defensively to sit in time out, frees my thought processor to patiently, courageously, positively and meticulously seek the light at the end of each tunnel ...

Ever heard of the book:  MY MOTHER, MYSELF?
Brilliant title, right?

Needless to say, we each absorb traits (positive and negative) from both parents, and all too often, it's the power struggling trait that blindly disrupts our brain's natural ability to listen with an open mind to perceptive thoughts that oppose our own  ... (And having absorbed the importance of that deeper truth, I've gained insight into quieting my dad's and grandmother's hot tempered tapes from piping up inside my head so as to make certain that explosive defensive reactions have been tamed behind my Line of Control before I open my brainstorming mouth (Note, I chose the word 'tamed' rather than 'restrained'.  Why?  Because 'tamed' indicates a hot spot that has been named, understood, resolved and  calmed whereas 'restrained' indicates a growling hot spot, still in need of muzzling or it bites.  Bites whom?  Sometimes me.  Sometimes you.

In another post, the intuitive communication's instructor, who calls my brain, home sweet home, will describe the ways that certain power struggles, which prove quite subtle in nature, are known to run interference with the clarity of our brain's solution seeking, decision-maker.  As for right now, today's train of thought has served up more than enough food for thought to digest, n'est ce pas?

1379 ENSURING THAT DEFENSIVE REACTIVITY DOES NOT SACK MY SOLUTIONSEEKING QUARTERBACK

If you ask me to describe this current paradigm shift, I'd reply:
A thought pattern that has guided my life is in transition, and
During this stage of transition, I can actually feel my energy shiftin away from
The tunnel visioned scope of negatively focused irritation toward
Expanding my perspective to reconsider possibilities, which had felt
Impossible for my mind to fathom, before conscious awareness
Concerning need for change took hold of my mind

On the other hand, crystal clear clarity is not yet mine, so

I still can't 'see' whether my intuitive voice is inclined to coach
My decision maker to change direction while continuing
To run with the ball or pass it, or bench myself until I can clearly
Name the mental irritant, which has yet to emerge from within my depths

As common sense has taught my decision maker to bench itself when
A paradox remains unclear, I'll consciously coach my defense system to
Take a time out, thus freeing my thought processor to relax instead of feeling
Anxiously prodded from deep within to swing back and forth amongst
Choices until frustration tackles my smarts so many times as to
Deplete my think tank of every last drop of positively focused energy
And by consciously benching my defense system's frustration along with
My decision maker, I can offer my smarts down time to refuel, which
Somehow signals my intuitive powers to kick into play, brainstorming through
Insights while the rest of me sleeps peaceably through the night until
One morning, I awaken to find that crystal clear clarity has somehow
Emerged from within the depths of my mind, and once intuition has
Coached my revitalized smarts to return to the playing field
My brain, functioning as a rebalanced whole, can feel assured that
My recently relaxed defensive stance will not swing back and forth so

Dizzily as to mistakenly sack my quarterback, repeatedly

And thus, rather than allowing repressed frustration to seep through
Cracks in my wall of denial, alerting my conscious awareness of
Subconscious need for change for the better, I'll choose to
Consciously spin a cocoon around my solution-seeking process, thus
Imagining a peaceful place inside my brain where my caterpillar-state-of-mind
Feels free to take an extended time out from the frustrating aspects of
Inner conflict until my intuition, powering up within, kicks insight into
Solution seeking mode, freeing the butterfly's sense of readiness to
Expand her wingspan to fly so free of inner conflict as to relieve
Internal irritation, which has, actually, been incubating in
A repressed state, over long, and once my expanded wing span
Offers my solution seeker a bird's eye view of the bigger picture, which
Had escaped my think tank's conscious cognition until today's
Emergence of intuitive thought inspired my stream of consciousness
Cough up this transparent description of the disorienting tricks that
Inner conflict, which persists overlong, foists upon a person's smarts ...
And guess what just occurred to me?
Suddenly, I clearly 'see' why my intuitive need for inner peace
Has been coaching my think tank to bench my story teller until
Common sense came into play to remind my defense system to
Sit, patiently, in time out until this negatively charged current of
Mental irritation (indicative of a repressed internal conflict), stops
Running interference with my think tank's natural ability to function as
A well balanced whole (which, when calmed, is known to consult with
Insights, absorbed within memory), until my intuitive voice offers
My conscious mind a well rested crystal clear sense of clarity, concerning
A workable solution to resolving an inner conflict (that's still in need of
Naming), which my tunnel visioned view had 'seen' as irresolvable until
This very moment when my ability to self soothe expanded my view finder

To see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, flickering on and off, at long last ...

1378 TODAY IS BOTH SPECIAL AND RELAXING ...

How do I know when the time is ripe for a shift in paradigm?
Well, my defense system reacts by signaling internal unrest, emergent
In the form of mild frustration (suggesting a natural need for
Change, building up, over time), until a conscious sense of
Inner conflict erupts, which, needs naming before resolving

When inner conflict clarifies itself to my conscious mind
My think tank (which has gained insight into the wisdom of
Heightening my awareness to know when and how to place
My defensive reaction in time out) calms frustration by
Alerting my memory to open file #2, releasing strings of insight that
Soothe my reactivity to consciously calm down, thus shifting
My concentration away from the dizzying aspects of inner conflict, which
Are known to irritate my decision-making process by
Running interference with clarity, and with this knowledge in mind
I remind myself to soothe irritation by recognizing that frustration
Alerts my conscious awareness to seek solutions to dilemmas by
Aiming my whole brain toward gaining access to positively focused
Strings of insight that coax my thought processor to direct its energy
Wholly on creating change for the better, and once frustration relaxes (after
Having done its part to kick the ball into play), my well developed
Sense of teamwork between patience and courage signals for
Time out until the emergence of my little voice of intuition, which
Coaches my conscious mind to consider the natural reactiveness of
Every person on the team—inclusive of my natural bent toward
Reactiveness, as well, and during the time it takes for today's
First string of insights to go through the process of shifting from
Memory file #2 into file #1, my well disciplined defense system's need for
Change for the better will agree to sit on the bench until
My rebalanced state of mind has readied my little voice of intuition to
To coach my decision maker's relaxed sense of wholeness to feel
Existentially self-empowered to calmly guide inner conflict to stop
Swinging my head from one extreme to the other, thus dizzying my brain in
The same way that everyone's natural sense of emotional reactiveness exacerbates
Confusion when opposing trains of emotionally driven thoughts collide, sacking
My quarterback's anxious mind so often as to knock me so senseless as to
Switch tracks from focusing on making a first down toward
Heading in the opposite direction before intuitive thought can
Caution me to call upon common sense to continue to calm
My sense of nner conflict until my whole brain feels so relaxed as to hear
My little voice of courage, growing so bold as to outline
A well thought out shift in paradigm that will clear my mind and
Refresh its positively focused goal of encouraging my team mates to
Huddle round as we consider the validity of this paradigm shift that's
Begun to process toward change for the better inside my head, and
As today is a special day ... and my mind feels relaxed, I'm happily
Wishing you the same five star day that I'm planning to enjoy, myself ...