So Bryce, David’s Little Brother, who lives in LA, was advising me to enjoy a change of scenery by leaving the house to take walks with Will. The content of his caring reply to my original text came as no surprise, based in my belief that the upbeat nature of my spirit offers loved ones the false impression of imagining the Annie they’ve come to know with the weakened convalescent that reality still proves me to be, and thus do I hope my reply to Bryce encouraged David’s not-so-Little-Brother to hit the brakes until his misperception and my current stage of recovery match:
I’d love to go for walks with Will except for this road block—I still get so short of breath, and being that there’s little warning as to when a sudden drop in my blood pressure will happen, chairs need to be close by, because once light-headedness hits, my eyes can’t focus, my knees turn to jelly and my brain, spinning round like a top inside my head, knows to sit me down ASAP before my body’s collapse hits the ground.
Generally speaking, my energy remains so low that I’ve still not unpacked certain bags in the aftermath of our return from Houston, last August, which is quite unlike me—this particular recovery is no easy thing—as in one step forward, three back.
On the plus side, being that I tire so quickly and completely, cabin fever has not yet set in, making quarantine easier to endure. At some point, every day, pain, wheezing, utter lack of energy or some combination of all three sees me wondering if I’ll ever feel well, and with the passage of time, it’s more of a challenge to remind myself that having survived the miseries of this past year and a half, my current attitude would be wise to refocus on feeling grateful for being alive; on the other hand, I’ve come face to face, once again, with the depths of my soul’s need to thrive, matching my spirit’s lust to fully enjoy every aspect of life, as would a fully animated, healthy child, no matter my current age, and since this post suggests my focus being forward bound, I’m beginning to see everything penned above in a positive light as if my spirit, having tired of recuperating at a turtle’s pace, may be enticing my mind to somehow pick up the pace as though my body is signaling its readiness to acknowledge the next stage of recovery opening a door—and if, perchance, the unseen powers above are hovering close by, please grant my fervent wish that today’s intuitive train of thought is less than fanciful, more in keeping with insight filtering from within the depths of my subconscious, speaking ever more clearly via my fingertips—to me—so as to encourage my conscious mind to feel hopeful of today’s musings being akin to deeper truth, through and through—seriously, five months ago, today, I could do nothing for myself. Nothing. Every second of every minute felt a trial by fire. Thank goodness I’ve come this far forward, day by day—
Ahhhh! With heartfelt help from Bryce, I feel so much better...🙋🏻♀️Annie
Let’s consider Bryce’s reply-
One day at a time mom💙💙 I pray to god that you thrive during this faze of your recovery. I know with faith, he didn’t allow you to successfully get through serious surgery just for you to come home. Time is an illusion to offer mankind some form of understanding as to how the complexity of this physical world is operating at 💯%. I want you to truly prosper and thrive even on the days when you feel your lowest💙 Love you much💙💙
Following Bryce’s 22 year old gift of wisdom, I replied—
Wow, Bryce, you’re guiding me to see the light during this seemingly endless dark time the same way I encourage loved ones to brighten and expand the narrowness of their viewpoints, your positive attitude inspiring my spirit’s gratitude to fly straight toward your smart
heart on the wings of so much love!
🙋🏻♀️❤️❌⭕️
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