NEW YEAR’S EVE 2020

💖💃🏻🕺🏼🥂🍾🥂🏡 🎉🎈🎊💖

If you ask what makes me sad

I’ll reply—

This maddening year is soon to end while

Super spreader events continue to be planned.

If you ask what makes me glad

I’ll reply—

Thus far, Covid has left

My family and friends unscathed

If you ask if that fact alone is reason enough to celebrate New Year’s Eve feeling blessed while quarantined at home, I’ll happily reply with a heartfelt—YES!!  YES!!  YES!!

And so, as we choose to celebrate LIFE at home while the bright incandescence of twinkling stars and fairy dust are all a swirl throughout the night sky, Will and I plan to wish a very happy HEALTHY New Year to one and all while we grow ever more mindful of the fact that classic vices, common to everyone, such as jealousy and greediness, must not take precedence over the heartfelt depths of brotherhood’s love of human LIFE —L’CHAIM!

💖💃🏻🕺🏼🥂🍾🥂🏡 🎉🎈🎊💖

JUST TAKE A WALK—IF ONLY

So Bryce, David’s Little Brother, who lives in LA, was advising me to enjoy a change of scenery by leaving the house to take walks with Will.  The content of his caring reply to my original text came as no surprise, based in my belief that the upbeat nature of my spirit offers loved ones the false impression of imagining the Annie they’ve come to know with the weakened convalescent that reality still proves me to be, and thus do I hope my reply to Bryce encouraged David’s not-so-Little-Brother to hit the brakes until his misperception and my current stage of recovery match:

I’d love to go for walks with Will except for this road block—I still get so short of breath, and being that there’s little warning as to when a sudden drop in my blood pressure will happen, chairs need to be close by, because once light-headedness hits, my eyes can’t focus, my knees turn to jelly and my brain, spinning round like a top inside my head, knows to sit me down ASAP before my body’s collapse hits the ground.

Generally speaking, my energy remains so low that I’ve still not unpacked certain bags in the aftermath of our return from Houston, last August, which is quite unlike me—this particular recovery is no easy thing—as in one step forward, three back.

On the plus side, being that I tire so quickly and completely, cabin fever has not yet set in, making quarantine easier to endure.  At some point, every day, pain, wheezing, utter lack of energy or some combination of all three sees me wondering if I’ll ever feel well, and with the passage of time, it’s more of a challenge to remind myself that having survived the miseries of this past year and a half, my current attitude would be wise to refocus on feeling grateful for being alive; on the other hand, I’ve come face to face, once again, with the depths of my soul’s need to thrive, matching my spirit’s lust to fully enjoy every aspect of life, as would a fully animated, healthy child, no matter my current age, and since this post suggests my focus being forward bound, I’m beginning to see everything penned above in a positive light as if my spirit, having tired of recuperating at a turtle’s pace, may be enticing my mind to somehow pick up the pace as though my body is signaling its readiness to acknowledge the next stage of recovery opening a door—and if, perchance, the unseen powers above are hovering close by, please grant my fervent wish that today’s intuitive train of thought is less than fanciful, more in keeping with insight filtering from within the depths of my subconscious, speaking ever more clearly via my fingertips—to me—so as to encourage my conscious mind to feel hopeful of today’s musings being akin to deeper truth, through and through—seriously, five months ago, today, I could do nothing for myself.  Nothing.  Every second of every minute felt a trial by fire.  Thank goodness I’ve come this far forward, day by day—

Ahhhh!  With heartfelt help from Bryce, I feel so much better...🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

Let’s consider Bryce’s reply-

One day at a time mom💙💙 I pray to god that you thrive during this faze of your recovery. I know with faith, he didn’t allow you to successfully get through serious surgery just for you to come home. Time is an illusion to offer mankind some form of understanding as to how the complexity of this physical world is operating at 💯%. I want you to truly prosper and thrive even on the days when you feel your lowest💙 Love you much💙💙

Following Bryce’s 22 year old gift of wisdom, I replied—

Wow, Bryce, you’re guiding me to see the light during this seemingly endless dark time the same way I encourage loved ones to brighten and expand the narrowness of their viewpoints, your positive attitude inspiring my spirit’s gratitude to fly straight toward your smart

heart on the wings of so much love!

🙋🏻‍♀️❤️❌⭕️

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE SELF DESTRUCTION

I ask myself this question, every day—What else does trump’s🤬 mean-minded need for revenge plan to do in hopes of destroying our nation’s well being before he’s tossed out of the White House, which will be in serious need of fumigating before Biden moves in ... the fact that our nation sits by feeling powerless to act in our own behalf infuriates and astounds me, as passive inaction is complicit with self destruction—our constitution is in serious need of revision (we are still in need of one more state to ratify the fact that women are equal to men🤷🏻‍♀️).

How can sanity accept the fact that we remain disempowered to stop this criminal maniac, who is more a repulsive traitor than any other in our nation’s history from exacerbating mayhem, every day—that is what I find way beyond intelligent comprehension.  And to make matters worse, don’t even get me started on the passive aggressive nature of the U. S. Senate, which has been in dire need of disbanding for decades—change for the better dictates a constitutional amendment limiting term in office—now, how is that to be accomplished unless senators prove willing to point guns at themselves?  We’re not just in a pickle, here, folks ... We’re swimming through a tightly capped jar of pickles with brine that’s over our heads!    👩🏻😤

PS

In need of venting, today, before choosing to throw open the drapes, ready to bid welcome to another sunny day in the great southwest.

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

EXPERIENCING THE GIFT OF RECEIVING LOVE ...

EXPERIENCING THE GIFT OF RECEIVING LOVE ...

Penned on Sunday, posted today—

Sooo—here we are, getting ready to cheer the Seahawks onto victory—and though while quarantining, we can’t watch, side by side, in the same living room with our dear friends from Seattle, who winter in Phoenix, each year, our spirits are cheering along with theirs, today.

I didn’t feel well, over the weekend—actually exhausted from having done too much over several days that had passed before—which, during normal times, would have amounted to next to nothing but proved too robust for my low energy level to quickly recoup.  In fact, Saturday felt like my worst hangover ever banging non stop against my brain —as if this teetotaler has had lots of experience regaining control over that—NOT!

Along with brain banging, my eyelids felt at half mast, on Saturday, while Steven and Ravi lunched on our patio; even so, our grand daughter’s animated chattiness saw my cheeks aching from smiling until she and her Daddy, an inseparable pair, left for home while I hit the bed, sleeping through the first half of the Cardinal game, followed by wishing I’d slept through the second half, as well.  Only good part was Zooming throughout the game with our sons and 6 year old Ravi, whose self assured antics seem to convey her surety that football is causing a nuisance in the background since our family is zooming specifically to play with her—so cute!  lol!  Yesterday, she remained involved with us for the entire three hours (upon awakening from my nap, hearing her sweet voice from my bed is probably all the encouragement I’d needed to get myself into the living room.)☺️

After the game, we enjoyed FT with Barry’s family, and I think our boys (Ray 9&Tony 10) loved seeing Gramma Annie wearing the cheetah pj’s, slippers and robe they chose as my Chanukah present while Papa’s feet felt cozy in the slippers they chose for him.

The blush highlighting Ray’s cheeks with pleasure each time his glance caught the necklace he chose for me around my neck was heartwarming to see.

Thank goodness for the innocent spirits of loving children, which inspire our spirits’ smiles to overcome trying times that could otherwise feel overwhelming.

Thank goodness for Andi’s pumpkin bread, taffy apples and mochas.  My sister, Sharon’s selection of our favorite Fannie Mae candies and our dear friend, Shainie’s, delicious chicken soup and light as air matzoh balls, which hit the spot for dinner, last night, after which we polished off the last crumbs of her yummy apple cake, as well.  Three heartfelt offerings of the many, which continue to ring our front door bell, week after week ... Thank you, everyone for your gifts of love, which mean more to us than words can convey. 

The fact that loving family and treasured friends continue to nourish our spirits after more than a year of illness continues to lift our spirits with depths of appreciation for our loved ones, no doubt about that—and now, considering so many darkened aspects of life that see our nation (and the world at large) having need to push past congressmen whose passive aggressive silence runs interference with our advancement through the tunnel so as to gain sight of the light beckoning us to not give up the good fight, let’s gauge our focus upon re-igniting communal hope for change for the better as the New Year leaves 2020 behind on the historical time line while each day goes by until 2021, awaiting your arrival and mine, shines the light at the end of the tunnel of darkness upon the endurance of democratic principles throughout the USA, which empowered our election of Biden to eclipse trump’s corrupt administration, at long last...🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

THE STORY OF FOREVER AND EVER

  THE STORY OF FOREVER❤️

Good morning, dear friends,

Wherever you are, I hope the sun is shining overhead, encouraging you ready yourself to engage with the heroic act of disempowering modern day pirates, who have stolen the identity of a dear friend of mine on the dark web, igniting her need to regain control over the privacy of her personal sense of safety.  My friend, knowing my musings are meant to quell my fear and frustration at every interaction we encounter with the dark side of human nature, which leaves us feeling helpless to counter these attacks without devoting precious time and energy, better spent enjoying loved ones, being that reality begs us to grow ever more aware of this fact—the more candles, lighting our cakes, the shorter the sweet spots of life get, so it’s best to excite the bright side of life whenever possible, even if a few rules must be bent to freely breathe life into our passionate nature in ways never experienced before, suggesting that cyber pirates steal away much more than our identities—they rob us of precious time  ... 

Though fear of being stalked from cyberspace has caused all of us to grow so cautious as to continually look over our shoulders, bad guys, getting away with crimes against humanity, have grown ever more blatantly  prevalent, during these past several decades, but nothing has exacerbated our frustrations as significantly as these past four years, and though the threatening, ghostlike presence of Evil stalking us, everywhere we go, won’t change for the better with Biden at the helm, here is what will change once trump has run out of time to do the best of his worst:  rather than freely encouraging such malignant behavior to grow ever more boldly expansive from the top, the marshal we’ve most recently elected to wear the badge of courage has honorably pledged to head the posse that’s raring to drive the bad guys, many recently pardoned, out of Dodge City, also known as D.C. m

(I finally have a glimmer of an idea as to where my passion for writing comes from—this is my defense system’s intuitive ploy to mine the subconscious portion of my mind for proactive ways to consciously transform repressed fear of loss of control into the happy endings I crave by casting myself—as well as you, too—into heroes, who win over evil by plotting out how to summon the bad guys to emerge from the dark side, thus clearly challenging the good guys to lasso our host of creative strengths, empowering your intelligence and mine to ready ourselves to stand the test of meeting Evil, glaring straight at us forcing us to confront a face off in the middle of the street, townies gathering round, cheering aloud, once the good guys, feeling self empowered, draw so quickly that, struck by lightening, the bad guys, groveling on the ground, are seen sniveling, begging for mercy, guns still holstered as GOOD wins over evil, yet again, at which time, the sleuth 🕵️‍♂️, wearing the bright shiny 🌟 of justice, gathers her beloved into a heartfelt embrace before both turn to face the most glorious sunset where, personal safety restored for all concerned, free both to saunter off, arm in arm, into a future so rosy that both feel as liberated as a pair of larks, spirits, uncared, soaring overhead, until the pair, landing in a warm, safe, sunny spot, choose to dwell where the winds of winter and blood suckers of the Internet🧛🏼‍♀️ can never darken their lives, again.  And with the graceful drop of the curtain, you and I leave the theater, hearts entertwined, feeling deeply reassured that the stars of our production, having developed the super powers necessary to win control over the dark side of life, are bound to live happily ever after as is true of their deeply loved spouses, children, grandkids, descendants and the families of everyone we love...

                                 THE END

And now, with today’s intuitive train of thought providing my mind with a peaceful rest station, at last, I’ll arise to embrace yet another day in quarantine, as hopefully, so will the heroic side of you, which like me, will choose to go about my current life, as safely masked as was The Lone Ranger, which in truth, describes us, one and all, excepting for those who choose to ride shotgun alongside of the masked law man, who brought to justice the bad guys who defied laws set in place to save the people from ruin as must become true throughout the USA, right now, suggesting that every Lone Ranger is in need of a trusted friend as personified by Tonto (Batman and Robin, Butch and Sundance, Abbot and Castello, Gleason and Carney, Caesar and Coco, Deano and Jerry, Rowan and Martin, Belushi and Akroyd, and Annie. Laurie, Curly and Will Parker proved to be, over the long run of the life they chose to share except for times when an overwhelming conundrum interfered for a spell, as happened each time Tommy Smothers, smoldering at his brother, Dick, couldn’t help but slice through their folk song’s duet by shouting out loud—Mom loved you better than me!  You got a dog!  I got a chicken!

Last year, several friends of my friend were scammed, and earlier this year, so was a member of my extended family, and to his misfortune, hundreds of dollars were gone in a flash; then afterward, believe it or not, he actually spoke with the scammer who, calling from a foreign land, heckled him so despicably that my relative was left fuming, holding the phone, feeling more furiously frustrated by the outrageously odious nature of that turn of events than by the fact that he’d been robbed!  The truth being more astounding than fiction, yet again!

Bottom line—no matter the story, happy endings are alway invested with humility, courage, love, honor, truth and mutual respect winning out over the dark side of human nature before a story reaches THE END ...

Written with love,

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

HOLIDAY GRATITUDE

🎉 🕎 🎄🥰🎅🏼🔯 💝

AS THE SPIRIT OF XMAS IS MEANT TO ENCOURAGES MINDFULNESS OF FREELY EMBRACING AN ATTITUDE OF LOVING KINDNESS WHEREVER WE GO, I feel inspired to share today’s train of thought with everyone who hopes to embody a healthy sense of heartfelt generosity that grows ever more aware of our communal need to share the very air we breathe ... peaceably.

And so, wrapped within our holiday gift basket for you who are celebrating Christmas, today, is this loving hope—may your little corner of the world be filled with good health, loving kindness, prosperity and the bright sunny warmth of peace of mind, all of which depends upon the depths of your need and mine to transform hopes into realities, requiring our working together toward creating change for the better unless you still believe in Santa granting wishes to good girls and boys while I, who believe in the magic of the loving mind, fall somewhere between childlike fantasy and realistic maturity, sometimes leaning more toward one side of my nature, sometimes toward the other based in my having started out as a cockeyed optimist as had been true of Nellie Forbush, whose heart—having crashed, head on into the prejudicial side of human nature—ultimately landed happily on her feet, being that she, who’d served, during wartime, in the military on an island in the South Pacific, could not wash her love for Emile and his dark skinned children out of her hair  ...

Beginning in October 2019, when my diagnosis proved life threatening, I was strongly advised to cocoon months before the spread of Covid saw the world at large in need of quarantine.

Over these past several weeks, as my lack of energy following life saving surgery began to refuel, family and friends, one couple at a time, asked to relax around our patio table, while Will, David and I sit inside, right next to our Arcadia Door, and thus do we all enjoy each other’s presence via cell phones on speaker so as to hear each other as clearly as we enjoy breathing in each other’s smiles.

Other than hospitals, I’ve not been in direct contact with anyone other than Will, David, doctors, nurses and hospital personnel for over a year—–so as you can imagine, my arm is super ready to accept the Covid vaccine ASAP.

On the other hand, the depths of my gratitude to Will and David, whose smiles continue to meet my every need, buoys my spirit along with evening calls from Barry’s family in CA, patio visits with Steven’s family, FT calls, emails, and texts from loved ones, all around the country, with small surprises left at our front door along with dinners, baked goods, flowers, mochas, yummy pumpkin bread, Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory taffy apples covered with peanuts, Fannie Mae chocolates, get well cards, books, hand written poetry—all of which continues to surprise us, warming our hearts to the max, being that these gifts of love continue to lift our spirits long after we’d have thought that our personal trials had become yesterday’s news as seen through the eyes of others facing trying times of their own.  To my good fortune, the opposite proves true each time I have reason to consider the endless generosity of my family and friends.  And thus is my spirit’s smile enhanced, as if we all remain proactively engaged within a merry heartfelt dance, which, seemingly is lasting throughout each next welcome stage of my lengthy recovery during the aftermath of a small portion of my heart, a large portion of my lung and a major vein, returning deoxygenated blood to one ventricle, having been surgically removed at a world renown cancer center in Houston.

During Chanukah, we celebrated festively with all of the traditional trimmings as Eric and Stessa enjoyed play dates with Gramma Annie and Papa Will at our patio table, and though we’d wished to invite additional family and friends as in years past, that decision would have opposed safety measures set in place in hopes of participating with those who hold themselves personally accountable for curbing the spread of Covid so that life can, once again, flow forth naturally rather than our being fearful of exacerbating the death count, which sadly has not yet peaked..

And speaking of hope, a dear friend who works to exhaustion (helping clients to reduce anxiety during these trying times) while considering her own retirement, thanked me for offering her encouragement in relation to readiness to embrace highly personal leaps of faith to which I replied— Glad you see what I said as encouragement, which proves to be love’s most nourishing ingredient as encouragement re-energizes hope, which, once absorbed, eases the active mind to consider steps toward creating change for the better, if not today then tomorrow, which is just round the bend. I remember Will’s anxiety while contemplating his retirement from surgery, which upon taking that leap, my husband rejoiced over awakening to peace of mind, every day, because accountability for the physical well being of patients was no longer preying heavily on his mind, and whenever he was asked to assist a colleague, after having scrubbed in, he’d realized how much he’d NOT missed doing surgery though that had been a worry before he came to enjoy the concept of free time of which he’d had so little, throughout his entire adult life, which is why the mere thought of inviting a change that huge had initially caused spikes of anxiety to strike until he found that filling his free time with grandkids, golf, novels, golf, crossword puzzles, golf, late to rise, late to bed (unless the availability of an early tee time with golf buddies was to be had, offered a sense of peaceful repose, which he’d never experienced, ever before).  In short, Will’s retirement saw my hard working husband gain the freedom to do WHATEVER HE WANTED WHENEVER HE WANTED, and as he’d NEVER contemplated that possibility for himself, upon becoming the master of his time, 24/7, my husband felt as relaxed as if he’d been gifted with life in heaven right here on earth amidst everyone he loved—and what I ask (once threat of Covid has passed) could feel better than a change as self determined as that!

And just as with our small, unusual celebration of Chanukah, last week, Will and I hope your Xmas treats your precious families to enjoying festive memories filled with love, laughter and lots of fun, followed by all of us welcoming in the New Year with hopes for good health and prosperity inclusive of more folks than ever before, and as the power of intuition opens your eyes and mine to gaining insight into how best to transform hope for change for the better into the manifestation of reality awaiting our arrival just round the bend that’s when this wondrous world of ours, wherever you and yours happen to dwell, will offer us sound reason, as proves true of any ancient institution, to freely participate in a thorough house cleaning of our closed mindsets in order to remodel narrow opinions which are mistakenly seen as facts, as has been needed for quite some time, providing everyone on the planet with cause for concern, being that none of us can predict which aspects of change will be to our liking and which will not, being that no one in the history of the world, part 1 enjoyed everything that made our neighbor’s life hum like a well tuned violin in the practiced hand of a duly acclaimed virtuoso—even so, though a virtuoso we may never be, it’s quite likely that the concert ready musician learned to play chopsticks before mastering Beethoven.🥰  

And so, as 2020 faces retirement, I want to thank all of you for being there for us during these trying times just as, hopefully, you and I will leap to our feet to tap dance in joyous celebration each time a right of passage feels immeasurably enriched when experienced with treasured family and deeply valued friends—and until we feel free to rejoice by dancing together, again, for real, please remain safe, stay well, and wherever within this wondrous world that we are learning to share ever more generously, let’s open our hearts so as to feel the depths of our capacity to offer and receive love, one and all!

❤️Annie and Will💃🏻🕺🏼

ANGLE OF REPOSE AND PROOF OF ANGELS EXISTING ON PLANET EARTH

Today, a person on Facebook expressed frustration with people being judgmental when someone has a legitimate reason for not getting the Covid vaccine. She believes she should not feel obligated to share all of her medical history to explain her reason to others, and with respect for her opinion, I’d like to offer up another option that deepens my sense of peace.

Having changed her name, I offered a gentle response to someone I’ve yet to meet in hopes of soothing her frustration as seen below:

Hi Linda,  In respectful response to your post—my name is Heidi, and I hope you’ll consider a reaction that calms my frustration immensely whenever I’m feeling misjudged.

Though I’d once felt defensive, here’s why I’ve chosen to retire that automatic reaction in favor of consciously embracing an attitude of patience associated with brotherhood before I respond.  You see, each time I choose to kindly and briefly make others aware of an affliction that cannot be seen at a glance, my gentle reply inspires judgement to transform into compassionate contemplation, culminating in a sense of friendliness springing forth so naturally on both sides as to connect two hearts within a caring state of repose for this reason: Whenever I choose to respond with heartfelt kindness, peace of mind is mine, and peace of mind calls forth my smile, and as smiles prove more contagious than most people realize, the preservation of my personal sense of peace empowers me to melt judgement calls proactively by way of expanding the mindset of another, most every time. And if sparking a mutual sense of understanding does not take place, I leave the conversation with dignity, self respect and peace of mind intact.🙋🏻‍♀️🥰 

Another person’s reply to the original post (penned by an ER doc in hopes of educating the general populous as to why vaccination proves vital) addressed irritation upon receiving calls from grieving relatives of patients who had succumbed to Covid, inspired me to reply—

Hi Melanie, I hope you won’t mind my suggesting that people calling about the death of loved ones hope to inspire you to help to slow this pandemic from taking more lives based in how many millions of people ignore the wisdom of scientists inclusive of doctors, who chose to study medicine, day and night, for many years while others of their age were partying rather than stretching their brains to absorb vast amounts of scientific facts, which prove necessary to preserve the good health of millions of people, throughout the world, every day.

As a twenty two year old bride, I marveled at the grueling hours my husband, a young medical student, felt driven to endure, eyes glued to medical tomes, every night, extending years of education through additional years of residency to ensure that his patients would receive only the very best of care in hopes of his thirst for knowledge proving capable of curing his patients, felled by illness, whose desire to enjoy a long, healthy life was as heartfelt as yours and mine. On the rare occasion when a patient succumbed to death, or an amputation proved necessary to save a child’s life, my husband would walk into our home, his spirit heavy at the end of each of those grievous days, his face looking haggard and gray, so deeply had this man of medicine exhausted his mental energies in hopes of enabling his patients to extend and enjoy their lives or save their limbs from strains of illness, more numerous than you and can possibly imagine  ... so I hope you’ll reconsider the calls you receive and the pleas of exhausted medical professionals, being that, over these last 54 years of marriage, I have personally witnessed at least one true life-saving angel, whose personal calling drew my boyfriend, during college, toward offering his utmost best, day in and day out, throughout each stage of our lives, in hopes of saving human lives however possible on planet Earth.

PS—In addition to sharing my life with a surgeon on a mission, I am also called Aunt Annie by the ER doc mentioned above.

In addition to publishing papers professionally, this ER physician writes of his professional knowledge and personal experiences concerning Covid on Facebook, pretty much, every day, in hopes of inspiring thousands of strangers to see him as a friend whose opinions concerning our need to work together in hopes of saving millions of lives are based in scientific facts that prove heartfelt in nature..

In addition to attending to the needs of others in the ER for many hours, daily, during this difficult time of Covid, my nephew’s wife, the mother of his four precious children, has just endured several months of chemo with surgery scheduled, next month, after her body recovers from infusions of harsh, life saving meds, discovered in labs (just as with Covid vaccines), so that my precious niece can continue to guide her children toward adulthood neath their mother’s loving wing) ...

So, please, let’s all consider the vital importance of following the advice of thousands of physicians and nurses and hospital staff, who are fully committed to offer each of us sound reason to be proactively well informed about preserving our good health in hopes of extending the length of our lives.

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

HEIGHTENED SELF AWARENESS KINDLES WINTER WARMTH

In response to having received a beautiful poem about winter penned, earlier this week (by the very first new friend I made on our very first day of High school when we sat next to each other, during first period, freshman English), here is my reply🙋🏻‍♀️❤️

Though I always hope

Your Midwestern winter

Will remain mild

Common sense

Suggests that

Snow will soon fall

Transforming your

Landscape of greenery into

Glistening white unless

Temperatures drop

Below freezing

At which time

Snow will turn to ice

Until a sunny day dawns

Calling upon you to

Come out to play before

Skating on ice melts into

Slush which soon

Turns as gray as

Does the blue of

The sky once

The sun decides to

Play hide and seek behind

Spring’s rainy days

But wait—please

Press pause because

I’m getting way ahead of

Where we are, right now—

Welcoming holidays

And a New Year offering

Each of us hope that

Change for the better

Concerning Covid and

Leadership are just

Round the bend—the first

Having been aggressive

Because the latter

Has been

Non existent during

One of the most

Devastating years ever

Faced by our nation

Which is why

In hopes of embracing

Change for the better

Sooner rather than later

We’d best take

One step forward after

Another while

Your future and mine

Continue to unfold

Just as always—

One day at a time

With spirits refueled by

Hearts filled with

So much love as

To see each of us

Become ever more

Mindful of

Kindling kindness

Wherever we go

🙋🏻‍♀️❤️❌⭕️

BIOPSY REPORT

Wednesday morning—

Matthew, my Midwestern nephew, and his wife, Melissa, FaceTimed us, so their boys could thank us for their Hanukkah presents—they’re SO adorable!  Jordan (3) sang Oh Hanukkah for us followed by Josh (5) closing their show by being the loudest clapper ever in the whole wide world!  Too funny!

Other than having been thoroughly entertained by this pair of munchkins, I chose to spend most of yesterday, cocooned, as most of the previous night had seen my ‘safe bubble’ of numbness holding strong emotion at bay until my sensitivity to inner tension filtering through my pores led me to experience a wakefulness too fidgety to fall asleep, even when aided by Ambien.

Then last night, thinking to hit the hay and sleep well, I surprised myself by feeling more awake than any night following in the wake of last week’s biopsy.

As to Will, he’d stuffed lots of apprehension behind his poker face, because, having read the biopsy report, aloud, my stoic husband and then, David, burst into tears while I, sitting quietly atop the comforter on our king size bed, observed the spontaneity of their emotional reactions though mine went unrevealed—even to me.  You see, it matters not how much we believed the tumor and all of the misery associated with its cure would not repeat—seriously, after experiencing this last year, any chance of my reliving chemo, surgery and another recovery before my bout with this one is complete, was actually more terrifying than I’d allowed myself to feel until my denial of repressed tension proceeded to seep out of my subconscious, two nights running.

I still don’t want to talk about the results, positive as they proved to be—in fact, while writing this post, I’m experiencing the release of deeply suppressed, tightly coiled tension, which, though healthy over the long run, does not feel good in real time, being that this fidgety release of emotional distress directly opposes the preservation of peacefulness, which, as you know, I strive to maintain, day after day.

Late on Tuesday, just before my biopsy report was received on Will’s iPhone and mine (via Mayo’s app) I wondered why—if no one has a clue as to how the original tumor began to grow inside me, why couldn’t it be likely that another one is doing that very same thing, right now.  Pow! That boulder, landing smack in the middle of my forehead, fired up a headache so heart stopping that my advanced degree of self control could not quell pain pounding away inside my brain until Will and David, appearing in my bedroom, simultaneously, saw David (now standing frozen in place) staring at Will while we both watched my husband advance toward my side of our king size bed with cell phone in hand until his voice, slicing through the silence hanging heavy in the air, was heard to say—OMG! Several times before he began to recite my biopsy report aloud from beginning to end at which point his reaction poured forth from his depths on a natural flood of tears.  And though I’d hoped to join my husband and then our son by releasing suppressed emotion on an unexpected rush of tears streaming down my face, my fear was still so solidly blocked from conscious recognition as to have remained consolidated within the state of mental constipation.

Once we three had absorbed the fact that I’d tested cancer free, both David and I strongly suggested that the next time Will reads a medical evaluation aloud, he not gasp, followed by solemnly exclaiming, several times—OMG! before signaling us of good news rather than bad since his initial reaction scared the positive focus of hope out of both of us.

Yesterday’s appointment with my cardiologist at Mayo went well, as she answered several questions concerning my blood pressure plunging upon standing as well as offering me sound reason for the lagging nature of my physical energy—the former prompting her to advise me to up my intake of fluids to ten 8oz cups, every day, while wearing compression pantyhose—the latter prompting her to jot down an order for additional blood tests followed by suggesting that as my heart is not yet pumping blood as vigorously as had been true, pre-surgery, I need to increase the frequency of walks around my house and on my patio until threat of Covid has passed, releasing me to engage with a physical therapist.

More when next we meet, as I still feel emotionally drained, though mental numbness is waining, today.

On an up note that I can feel, David just offered my spirit reason to laugh aloud by sauntering into my room, having exchanged his short, scruffy homegrown Covid beard for a freshly shaved face with handle bar mustache tickling my funny bone as well as his nose—definitely a first in our family—not the mustache but rather the handlebar aspect of it.

During this time of mindfully connecting the uncoiling of repressed tension, Covid vaccine distribution and discharging the most dishonorable, forked tongued, deplorable President ever elected by the people of The United States of America—our nation, though stubbornly divided, is about to round the corner where the light at the end of the tunnel, held high within the hand of sane leadership, is bound to beckon brightly to the intelligence of more people than ever before suggesting that though the climb toward the summit of peace of mind may prove jaggedly steep, our national government’s division of power is, once again, on its way toward refortifying its sense of balance, politically, and with today’s intuitive train of thought in mind, common sense suggests the best is yet to come, individually!🙋🏻‍♀️❣️

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

Thursday—

Good morning,

I’ve come to believe that observers, whose loved one has been blessed with good news after experiencing a lengthy life-threatening illness simmering within a briny broth of unbearable physical miseries, assume that worrisome fears, deeply repressed, simply emerge and pop like a hot air ballon, releasing tinsel-like fairy dust, overhead, as if life’s greatest strifes stride straight toward happily ever endings as with animated Pixar cartoons, when deeper truth suggests that today’s bout with emotional exhaustion having bared repressed layers of fear, see my brave smile relaxing so completely thanks to this week’s biopsy report offering words of relief, freeing my staunch shield of inner strength to experience a melt down so as to completely expose my naked vulnerability, at last—to myself.  And if you choose to seek me out, today, here is what you’ll find—a puddled version of the strong spirited person you (and I) believe me to be, who feeling free of deeply worried tension, long repressed, has need to do little more than ask bravery to sit quietly in a time out chair, releasing all of me to fully experience this emotional melt down, long coming.

So while I still feel too emotionally drained to discuss or rejoice over news of the biopsy’s being benign, upon resting with sufficiency, I’ll bet my readiness to celebrate will reawaken, naturally, given time to reorient my well practiced, self disciplined peace of mind, which continues to serve me well by holding hysteria at bay until the nerve wracking reality of undergoing each test for sarcoma offers yet another cancer free report.

As for now, I truly appreciate your patience with the ramblings of my mind, being that the more I write, the more I come to understand myself in depth, and the more completely self awareness comprehends the complexity of natural reactions handled by my processor, the more deeply I come to understand the nature of defensive reactions, which proving classic and universal, the world over, better my capacity to embrace both sides of human nature pre-programmed to interact together as would a complex machine that’s in need of resolving the timeless puzzle of piecing together contradictory traits that create the whole of each human being.

As I’d felt numb when Will and then David broke down, my stoic reaction seemed little more than weirdly observant of theirs ... however, now that my intuitive understanding of emotional complexity has re-emerged, my intelligent thought processor has switched tracks from seeing my initial response as ‘weird’ to identifying my naturally well trained self defensive’ peacefulness as having maintained a lack of outward reaction by unconsciously retaining my wall of denial, which had served me well while securing spiraling emotions from springing forth from subconscious storage so as to stop the conscious portion of my mind from spinning beyond self control, and having acknowledged that my self protective wall of denial, which having done its job well under pressure, has need of time to slough away, layer by layer, each of which had been erected, over more than a year’s time, this process of sloughing will continue to take place, naturally, for as long it takes to reveal my personal sense of relief, and thus will I be seen wobbling around our home as though my mind is self repairing from having wandered, ever more deeply into and throughout every harried, heavily medicated, semi drunken, hazy stage of Cancerland, where. though  buoyed by love, times exist when the person, being struck, repeatedly, by misery while walking through a lightening storm, can’t help but feel utterly dazed, crazed and alone until the Herculean weight of physical misery endured, repeatedly, eases up, little by little, so that having pocketed the magic of resilience, my half full cup begins to overflow, yet again, with courage born of positively focused, emotional balance re-energizing heartfelt leaps of faith grounded in boundless sensations of gratitude and love, which inspire the human spirit to soar so high through a blue, sunlit sky as to leave Cancerland buried in yesterday’s dust so bright doth the future, fueled by joy, feel, through and through—not there yet. but with clarity intact, that’s where I’m heading-yes-siree-bob!

🙋🏻‍♀️🧚‍♀️Annie

PS

Has it dawned on you that Cancerland resembles Candyland in that you can be only a step or so from achieving your heartfelt goal when the card you’re dealt sends your valiant piece/peace careening all the way down the board ... during their childhood, my sons never suspected how often their Mom sat on certain cards in hopes of bringing the most boring game in the world to a timely end so as not to lose my mind—so often did my trio of munchkins ask to play, again 🙋🏻‍♀️😊

FROM HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON THANKSGIVING TO HAPPY CHANUKAH!

From our quarantined home to yours, Will and I wish you and yours a happy, healthy Chanukah with all of its festive trimmings!  Thank goodness, next year will prove better once a vaccine frees us from feeling need to remain as caged as we do in hopes of preserving our personal sense of safety, today.

And along with sending our best wishes to all of you, let’s wish Ravi a very happy sixth birthday (celebrated on Thanksgiving Day) while her lighthearted spirit literally jumps for joy on her brand new trampoline (A cautionary note to adults—as your lively spirit is likely to disbelieve that your limbs are not nearly as supple as is true of your kids—if you must bounce on a trampoline, please bounce with caution so as not to end up in the ER as did a dear friend’s daughter with knee surgery and a cast to follow ... ) 🙋🏻‍♀️Gramma Annie

MORE THAN ONE KIND OF CLOSET CLEANING EXISTS

Copied below you’ll find a text sent (yesterday) to one of my high school friends with whom I became so close in college that she has chosen to touch base with me, more than once, daily, ever since my tumor was correctly diagnosed—

Dearest Susan,

I know you’ll be happy to hear that last week’s biopsy has not increased my current level of pain.  In fact, I believe my relief at having that procedure behind me re-fueled my spirit, re-energizing me mentally and physically in short spurts, because upon our return from Mayo instead of lying down, I surprised myself by cleaning out my closet, followed by resting for a couple of hours before re-organizing my collection of shoes, and having completed that task, I counted more than 20 pairs, which, along with quite a few blouses and tee shirts are now boxed awaiting Cath’s arrival from CA, later in the month, as my young friend (Barry’s classmate in high school) plans to celebrate Xmas with her family in town.  

No doubt, Cath’s enthusiasm to enjoy a patio visit initiated my zest for closet cleaning, knowing her eagerness to receive much of what I choose to discard so as to space out clothing still hanging too tightly compressed together on bars, while my drawers, over stuffed with neatly folded intimate garments, offer the pack rat in me space in which to accumulate far too many choices, and whatever Cath leaves behind is donated to the woman’s shelter that I’ve come to favor most of all, so each time my neat nut floods with need to creat space to breathe within my closet, everyone wins excepting the pack rat, who’s forever in need of disciplining, because, if the truth be told, my traditional taste in clothing dictates purchases resembling everything I already have with this caveat—whatever I buy is based in a shade of color not yet owned as if an inner need to complete a rainbow of blouses and tees, all of which can be seen neatly folded in dresser drawers or hanging, colored coded, on bars extending along the walls of my closet, which is by no means small.

At any rate, the fact that re-ignited energy spurts resulted in spontaneous productivity delighted the control freak, who has had no choice, during this time of Covid, other than submitting to going underground, offering the rest of me to quarantine peacefully regardless of the fact that I, devoid of energy, feel so deeply appreciative of everything Will has taken on so graciously that my pechance for both neatness and cleanliness throughout every inch of my home has been on hiatus, with no end of messiness in sight ... why messiness?  Oftentimes, my energy lapses so completely that I literally drop whatever I’m doing or holding on the spot, knowing that with only seconds to spare, I’ll barely make it to the closest chair, couch or bed before sinking straight to the floor, and wherever whatever drops out of my hand stays put, sometimes for weeks, which is why I found these most recent short lived, bursts of energy highly pleasing to say the least.

Tomorrow, Steven and Ravi plan to come over (after our family zooms the Cardinal game) in celebration of two joyful events.  In addition to a redo of my b/d (a Nothing Bundt Cakes delivery arrived, today), we’ll also wholeheartedly enjoy a Chanukah party with latkes, candle lighting, singing, Dreydls, gift giving and window decorations, which Ravi will love taping to the glass panels on her side of our Arcadia doors.  (Why my birthday do over?  Well—actually, my awareness of personal need for diplomacy respects certain aspects of family privacy, so being protective of an extended relationship, which most often feels like a house of cards, that’s all I’ll pen about that.)

Today, having placed my pack rat in time out, I decided that a second quick run through of blouses and tops, still crowded together inside my closet, was in order, followed by resting up for tomorrow’s celebrations, both of which will keep my mind happily occupied, and hopefully, Monday will pass uneventfully until results of my biopsy have been released and received on Tuesday at which time a shadowy cloudiness hanging overhead, will see me ‘walking the walk’ holding hands with courage while thanking my creative processor for sweetening whatever may taste too bitter to swallow, yet again.

Hopefully, your rain storm has passed, offering you and Ro some time this weekend to enjoy Chanukah ala Covid with your precious family on your back porch until your masked grandkids are seen chattering, being that the temp in the Midwest has dropped into the 30’s.

Stay safe, dear friend, and feel my love and warm hugs holding you close,

👩🏻❤️😘Annie

SEVEN SECRETS HARBORED CONCERNING PEARL HARBOR ATTACK

First off, with so much on my mind, I apologize for having forgotten to publish this post containing seven secrets concerning the bombing of Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7th, two years before my birth.

Secondly, yesterday’s CT biopsy went well with little added discomfort to follow—we expect to receive results on Tuesday.  And now, without further delay, let’s dive right into deeply intriguing, little known information retrieved upon googling—HISTORY ON THE NET

Pearl Harbor Facts: 7 Things You Never Knew About the Attack

History » World War Two » Pearl Harbor» Pearl Harbor Facts: 7 Things You Never Knew About the Attack

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The attack of December 7, 1941 is one of the best-studied events of the 20th century. Yet there are many Pearl Harbor facts that remain largely unknown. Below is listed seven Pearl Harbor facts that you likely didn’t know.

The White House decoded a Japanese war declaration the day before Pearl Harbor

Japan sent a message to its embassy on December 6th to inform diplomats to prepare for a declaration of war. The White House intercepted the message and decoded it, but FDR did not warn his command at Pearl Harbor.

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Since 1897, America had a plan to impede Japanese power 

First conceived as early as 1897, America’s contingency plan for the rise of Japan as a modern military power was named War Plan Orange. The plan was updated on a regular basis to reflect the size of US and Japanese fleets.

The Pacific Fleet moved to Pearl Harbor for protection 

Admiral Richardson moved his Pacific Fleet to Pearl Harbor because he believed that the shallow water would protect ships from aerial torpedo attacks.

FDR’s Chief of Naval operations told him not to believe rumors of a Japanese attack 

Rumors about a Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor circulated for months. FDR was warned on several occasions, even by the British Navy, about the vulnerability of Pearl Harbor. He chose, instead, to listen to his chief of Naval operations and ignore the threat.

An American Newspaper helped provoke the Japanese 

On October 31st, United States News (the predecessor of U.S. News and World Report), printed a spread that showed how easy it would be for United States B-17 bombers to blow Japan off the map.

FDR made Admiral Kimmel the scapegoat 

Admiral Kimmel, who had taken charge of Pearl Harbor, repeatedly warned FDR of a possible attack. FDR did not share the decoded Japanese threat with Kimmel, but instead eventually demoted him.

Japan Almost Seized Hawaii 

Admiral Chuichi Nagumo failed to launch a third wave to destroy oil tanks and dry docks; if Japan launched the third wave, they would have captured the islands. The US began to issue currency stamped “HAWAII” to servicemen in Oahu so the Japanese could not spend it elsewhere in case they did capture the islands.

This article on Pearl Harbor facts is part of our larger selection of posts about the Pearl Harbor attack. To learn more, click here for our comprehensive guide to Pearl Harbor.

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This article is from the book Operation Snow: How a Soviet Mole in FDR’s White House Triggered Pearl Harbor © 2012 by John Koster. To uncover more of the secrets, spies, and shockers that surrounded the events of Pearl Harbor, buy a copy of Operation Snow. You can visit its sales page at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

THE MIRACLE OF LIGHTS

We’re off to Mayo; it’s 8:30AM on

A beautiful, bright, sunny day

Biopsy scheduled for 10:30AM

With no clue as to how long

This procedure will take

We were told that in its aftermath

I’ll most likely spend

Four hours in recovery

And as you now know

As much as we do

I’ll end today’s post on

An up note by releasing

My spirit’s positive energy to

Say:  What better time

Could possibly exist for

A biopsy to result in

Naught of any

Serious concern than

During our Festival of Lights

Also known as

The Miracle of Chanukah!

And with that positively

Focused thought in mind, which

Shall be your choice?

Latkes with sour cream or

Latkes sweetened with applesauce

And with the prep team

At Mayo awaiting our arrival

Please stay safe until

We’re able to happily seek

Each other out—

Hopefully, tomorrow

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie 

CT BIOPSY SCHEDULED

Though I’ve not yet felt like penning a description of the glitch found in last week’s chest CT, somehow I can freely state that a CT biopsy has been scheduled for this coming Friday.

Today, Shainie and Michael, dear friends from college, who settled in Mercer Island, WA more than 45 years ago and own a winter abode near our home, stopped by for a patio visit, which, having been thoroughly enjoyed by we four, eased our way toward Thursday with Friday to follow, and you can believe me when I say that there’s a whole lot riding on the receiving end of this week’s CT biopsy’s report.

As to how my smile expects to make its way through Thursday—well, thank goodness my processor is well practiced at channeling through positively focused pathways, etched into my brain ... 🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

POP GOES THE WEASEL

 I just found this post, which I’d penned but forgotten to publish on Nov. 1, 2020.  Even so, the context remains current though trump lost to Biden, five weeks ago ... thank goodness!—

Two days to go before the soul of our nation experiences bedlam, which our democratic voting process had always managed to keep in check until many millions who make up the populous of the USA felt so desperate to drain the swamp in DC as to have been blindly bamboozled into sinking into trump’s self-serving quicksand, which sucks his most gullible, mask-less, cultist followers ever more deeply into the bowels of hell every time this smarmy weasel opens his mouth so as to poison the air ever more quickly than Covid can spread its deadly venom throughout the world.  

As for me, I’ve tired of secluding myself in lockdown while my lengthy recovery from heart/lung surgery during this time corona places my family beyond my embrace, while my loving husband remains by my side in solitary confinement, taking care of everything that’s still beyond my current capacity, because millions of trump’s bobble heads, continuing to deny science, refuse to mask up and socially distance, thus risking thousands upon thousands of lives inclusive of their own, which is most transparent during their selfish leader’s rallies where his naked desperation to win a second term of office is demonstrated in the ridiculous nature of trumpochio’s mounting layers of bald faced lies ...

ENOUGH!  ENOUGH!  I’ve been stirring tar and feathers, simmering in readiness to run this charlatan out of D.C., ever since dt’s persistent insistence that his inauguration drew more crowds than Obama’s offered sound reason for eye rolling to take place from coast to coast—pleeze—send this naughty five year old back to repeat everything we learned in kindergarten so as to give our nation a break from blatant immaturity in favor of electing a compassionate, knowledgeable, experienced statesman, who will do justice to inhabiting the White House once the Oval Office and personal residence have been thoroughly fumigated.  

And now, with my sense of clarity sincerely stated, thank you for easing my mind by letting me vent two days before our election releases a build up of tension, throughout our nation, as happens whenever the lid pops off any tightly coiled can of worms—and as such, with positive focus intact, may sane leadership bring better days, throughout our nation and the world at large, directly ahead ... 🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

Sent from my iPhone

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SIM🎂

 Today is my dear friend, Sim’s Birthday, just as it’s mine—🎂🥂🎁🎈🎉🎊

I hope all his wishes come true🧚‍♀️

High on my list of birthday wishes is for everyone we love to take every precaution to remain healthy until a vaccine pins Covid to the mat, freeing us to throw open our doors and come together in celebration of the most ginormous group hug ever enjoyed, over our lifetimes.  And if my birthday wish seems a bit ambitious then let’s differentiate between a wish and a goal—seriously, all wishes are touched with fairy dust and as such are magical in nature, and with that lighthearted thought in mind of sprinkling fairy dust all around—I’ve decided to wish BIG for this reason—why not?

As to yesterday’s news, hopefully, a biopsy, yet to be scheduled, will result in the thoroughness of my medical team and nothing more to incite our concern.

On the upside, Andi has ordered a cake, which she and Michael plan to enjoy on our patio, later, while socially distancing from Steven, Celina snd Ravi, who’s always ready to party.  As to Will, David  and I, we’ll participate wholeheartedly from inside our house, sitting safely, responsibly, and happily right next to our Arcadia door.  

Early evening, everyone in our family plans to zoom with my sister’s family, so—yesterday’s news excepted—today is shaping up to be a very happy birthday, beginning with Sim’s call, this morning, which offered my spirit reason to widen its smile, knowing that I’d readied my sense of mischief to say Happy birthday, right off the bat, to one of my dearest friends, before he could say it to me—thanks to caller ID.  LOL!

Sharing our mutual birthday has offered us both so much fun over these past 60 years of friendship, beginning with our introduction when I was seventeen.

😍🙋🏻‍♀️Goobers

(My nickname in college—why Goobers?  Maybe because that’s what ‘The Guys’ dubbed me—referencing my maiden name—Goodman—along with the fact that Goobers sounds goofy as my sense of humor can prove to be.  Anyway, Happy Birthday, Sim—I hope you enjoy a magical kind of day🧚‍♀️

6THOUGH A SPLASH OF WATER WON T KILL IT, UNITY WILL

Evidently, my 9 year old grandson Corey’s generous nature has been writing a nine page letter to his personal friend, The Elf on the Shelf, in hopes of inspiring the little guy to entice Santa to be an exceptionally generous gift giver to good girls and boys, who having been schooled at home, have seen too little of their friends during this extended time of Covid—as for my wishlist, I wish Will, David and I, along with Steven’s family, could kick Covid to Timbucktoo, pack up our cars and caravan straight to Cali so as to enjoy our holiday celebration of love with Barry’s family followed by all families ringing in a happy and HEALTHY New Year, over the entire expanse of our nation as well as beyond our shoreline, inclusive of everyone on our planet.  Seriously, if I’m wishing on a star, why not wish BIG!

In addition to wishing a Happy, Merry Everything to all of you wherever you may dwell, Mrs. Claus asked me to remind you to please take every precautionary measure to stay well until vaccination day shows lines queuing up within our communities, and as I fully concur with her reasoning, that’s exactly what I’m doing with immediacy, being that my memory has pretty much been on hiatus since last December, when Chemo chose to take me down the yellow brick road where Covid showed up, just like the witch of the East, after which, clarity offered me sound reason to agree with Dorothy—There’s no place like home to feel safe from harm until the danger of catching this heartless virus has passed, at long last, and we who stand divided across the vast expanse of our nation, reunite ‘Neath Biden’s  presidential respect for the common good.

BTW, Today was my follow up appointment with my cardio-thoracic surgeon at Mayo, who (having considered the rarity of my tumor’s involvement with heart and lung) had recommended my flying to Houston to meet with her friend and colleague, a thoracic surgeon, based in the fact that he and a cardiac surgeon had developed the dual surgical procedure that saved my life.

Having studied the radiologist’s reports of my most recent Echo cardiogram and Chest CT, both of which took place, last week, my local surgeon offered me insight into ‘something’ that may be going on at the margin of my right lung’s surgical site.  And as I need time to process today’s unwelcome news, more about delving into a detailed reveal concerning that issue when next we meet. 

👩🏻👵🏻 Gramma Annie

‘There’s no place like home’ 

PS

With so much scrolling through my mind, today, I almost forgot to address the lasting significance of December 7th.

‘A day that will live forever in infamy’

       —FDR

Seven secrets shrouding dark truths  concerning the bombing of our fleet, which had been purposely docked at Pearl Harbor for safety, will be revealed when next we meet.

SIMPLE SIMON’S POLITICAL PLAN GOES AWRY

First of all, Thank you to my friend, Barbara, for posting Heather Cox Richardson’s well researched commentary (which, once again, proves profound) on her Facebook page—

Wikipedia Bio— Heather Cox Richardson is an American historian and Professor of History at Boston College, where she teaches courses on the American Civil War, the Reconstruction Era, the American West, and the Plains Indians. She previously taught at MIT and the University of Massachusetts. Richardson has authored six books. Her sixth, titled How the South Won the Civil War: Oligarchy, Democracy, and the Continuing Fight for the Soul of America, was published in March 2020 by Oxford University Press. 

Quoting Heather Cox Richardson— 

December 4, 2020 (Friday)

“While coronavirus continues to burn across the country, Trump is focusing instead on continuing to contest the election results and on the Pentagon.

The main story in the country continues to be the coronvirus. As of tonight, according to the New York Times, more than 14,441,700 people in the U.S. have been infected with the virus and at least 278,900 have died. Official daily death counts are well over 2000. 

As several states continue to count votes from the November election, President-Elect Joe Biden’s popular vote margin over Trump is now more than 7 million. Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Nevada, Georgia, Arizona, and Michigan, all states in which Trump contested the vote, have already certified their election results for Biden. In all six of those states, judges have ruled that Trump’s lawyers have provided no evidence of fraud. They have used words like “baseless,” “flimsy,” “obviously lacking,” “dangerous,” and “not credible.”

Trump’s obsession with winning an election he has clearly lost has brought into relief the struggle for control over the Republican Party. Trump is clearly trying to turn the party into a vehicle for loyalty to him and him alone. He has always turned on those who no longer serve his interests: Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions was one of the first elected Republicans to support Trump’s 2016 presidential candidacy, giving it an air of legitimacy. He left the Senate to become Trump’s first Attorney General, only to have Trump turn against him when he recused himself from the investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election, because he had lied about his own contacts with Russians. Trump forced Sessions to resign, and when Sessions ran again for the Senate, endorsed his rival and attacked Sessions on Twitter. Sessions lost his primary.

Now Trump has turned on men who similarly sacrificed their careers for his. Three days ago, Trump’s loyalist Attorney General, William Barr, undercut Trump’s election fraud arguments when he said that he had not seen such fraud. This apparently so infuriated Trump that he is considering firing Barr. Then, this morning, Trump turned on loyalist Louis DeJoy at the head of the United States Postal Service, who removed mail sorting machines and changed USPS rules to slow mail-in ballots expected to be for Biden. Trump tweeted that the USPS “is responsible for tampering with hundreds of thousands of ballots” and thus stole the election from him. He called the USPS a “long time Democrat stronghold,” although DeJoy is a major Trump supporter and donor.  

While Trump is talking about running again in 2024, his turning against his most loyal supporters in the Republican Party will not inspire others to rally to his banner. Instead, it may simply be that he’s keeping the idea of his candidacy alive because it keeps money flowing in. Since the election, he has raised more than $200 million in donations.

While he is fighting over the election results, Trump has done very little else except to replace civilian employees at the Pentagon with his own hand-picked loyalists. This is unusual in a lame duck period, when presidents usually try to smooth the transition to the next administration. 

Far from trying to smooth that transition, Trump is making it as bumpy as possible. His appointee at the General Services Administration delayed the start of the transition for weeks. Now that Biden’s team finally has access to Trump’s people to learn about their planning for the rollout of the coronavirus vaccine, it turns out there hasn’t been much planning. Biden today noted that “There is no detailed plan that we’ve seen, anyway, as to how you get the vaccine out of a container, into an injection syringe, into somebody’s arm…. It's going to be very difficult for that to be done and it’s a very expensive proposition…. There’s a lot more that has to be done.”

Also disturbing is that the Trump administration has denied the Biden team access to U.S. intelligence agencies that are controlled by the Defense Department, including the National Security Agency (which is the nation’s largest U.S. intelligence service), the Defense Intelligence Agency, and other intelligence services with a global reach. The Biden folks have, though, been able to meet with their counterparts at the CIA and the Office of the Director of National Intelligence. 

The refusal of the Pentagon to meet with Biden’s people comes at a time when Trump has been shaking up personnel there. Immediately after the election, Trump fired his fourth Defense Secretary, Mark T. Esper, and replaced him with an acting secretary of defense, Christopher C. Miller. Miller, in turn, has presided over the installation of a number of Trump loyalists both at the Pentagon leadership and on the Defense Policy Board, a group of advisors who consult with the Defense Secretary on specific issues when asked. Pushed out were about a dozen advisers, including former Secretaries of State Madeleine Albright and Henry Kissinger, as well as former House Majority Leader Eric Cantor.

Today, there was another major purge at Defense, this time from the Defense Business Board, a nonpartisan group of about 20 volunteers from the business sector who are appointed to give business advice to Pentagon leaders. The White House threw nine people off the board—informing them with a terse email—including its chair, Michael Bayer. Trump replaced them with his former 2016 campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, and that year’s deputy campaign manager, David Bossie, among other loyalists. Both Lewandowski and Bossie are outspoken Trump supporters who have led the fight to contest the election. 

So has another Trump nominee for a Pentagon post, Scott O’Grady, who has endorsed the idea that Trump won by a landslide and that Trump should declare martial law. Trump has nominated him to become an assistant secretary of defense for international security affairs, overseeing operations in Europe, the Middle East, and Africa. 

Exactly what Trump is doing with this packing of the Defense Department is unclear. There are, though, three major issues on the table right now that may or may not be involved, but are worth keeping in mind. 

The first is that Trump is trying to remove many U.S. troops from around the world before he leaves office, and had gotten serious pushback on that from the people he has now purged from the Defense Department. Today, he ordered nearly all of about 700 U.S. troops out of Somalia, where they have been training local soldiers to hold ground against terrorists. They will not come home, though; they are being sent elsewhere in Africa. 

There is also still hanging out there the administration’s sudden announcement of a $23 billion sale of arms to the United Arab Emirates, including a number of advanced F-35 fighter jets and Reaper drones. Lawmakers of both parties object to this sale, concerned about risks to Israel and that the UAE could transfer the technology to China and Russia. The Senate will vote next week on banning the sale.  

There is also the effort by the White House to force the Pentagon to lease its airwave spectrum to a private company, Rivada Networks, to create a nationwide 5G network. Rivada is backed by major Republican figures, including operative Karl Rove, but established Pentagon officials have little interest in the project, pointing out that there is no proof that Rivada knows what it’s doing or that the plan would be legal. It’s also not clear that the use of this spectrum for private carriers wouldn’t impact its use for national security. The Defense Department spectrum the White House would like to lease to private investors is worth between $50 and $75 billion.  

I always believe in following the money, and that’s especially true now as Trump’s years in the White House, which have given him access to huge sums, are drawing to a close.”

👩🏻 (A note to the wise—you might want to hold off on reading my personal thoughts, directly below, which upon review are in serious need of editing ... the only reason this post is not being relegated to drafts is because I believe Heather Cox Richardson’s well researched political commentary is so worthy of timely consideration.)

As for me, I remain utterly impressed by Richardson’s wealth of knowledge just as I remain utterly baffled by the Republican Party’s failure to set the barrel of their gunshot sights upon declaring trump (the most dangerous, home grown terrorist ever harbored in The USA) a traitor to the long range security of our nation and as such, why hesitate to initiate the legal procedures necessary to stop the inflammatory presence of one man from firing up millions of cultists, who remain blind to the fact that this mad/man, parroting Hitler, cares not a fig for their welfare and safety—never has—never will.

As I do not believe that most Republican senators have fallen, hook line and sinker, for trump’s claptrap, why are they not infiltrating their voting base, big time, so as to awaken millions of trumpers to seeing their leader as being as oily as any faith healer, who hauls in the dollars after pitching nothing into the unmasked, red hatted crowd but bottles filled with empty promises (which will remain forever unfulfilled)?

Bottom line—the senate has the power to spend the next four years turning their constituents toward revering a Republican candidate for President in 2024, who, unlike trump, will not sell out our nation for personal profit, and if I can see the truth emerging from within today’s train of thought, why is it that powerful, well educated legislators cannot?

Oh wait—off the top of my head—here’s what my think tank forgot to factor into the over-simplistic nature of my plan to save our nation from succumbing wholly to self exploitive political implosion:  Decades of moral corruption smothering deeper truths under so many layers of entitled complexity that this next question remains hanging heavily, unanswered, overhead—When shall the truth win out in the end (freeing U.S. citizenry of blind loyalty that worships a faker [think Elmer Gantry] whose bold faced lies serve to do nothing more than cripple our national economy), at last?  As to who knows when that necessary change for the better may free people’s closed minds to openly consort with scientific reality?  Clearly, not me.