COLOR ME BLUE—UNLESS ...

Having basked in the warmth of Barry’s smile, which clearly conveyed our son’s love, his eyes shining with emotion (as did mine), now that our patio visits have passed, my spirit feels kind of blue although at least six or seven morsels of good news await conveying to you—

First of all, David drives in, today, to shelter with us until we three fly to Houston on July 21st.  Shelly and Jerry (she attended grammar school and high school with Will) are bringing the veggie pate that Shelly whips up, which I love.  Andi and Mike just dropped off milk, pumpkin bread and several boxes of Raisonets—their gifts of love.  Our neighbor, Adrienne, is grilling salmon for dinner.  Loving texts and emails continue to fill my in boxes—Lauren’s and Susan’s arrive more than once daily, and Debbie’s poetry injects my spirit with her positive energy.  My main credit card company finally deleted over $3,000 worth of fraudulent charges from 2018, which had not been mine, after Steven threatened to sue.  And rather than sending Ravi to school with no safety precautions set in place concerning the pandemic, Steven placed a notice in the neighborhood news letter requesting parents to contact him if they’d like their kindergarteners to join a small group led by a teacher they’d hire to guide their youngsters through the district’s online learning program (the option Steven has chosen for Ravi), and so far, he’s received six replies from parents interested in discussing this possibility with him, so that sounds as promising as the fact that two kindergarten teachers have already answered his ad ... and saving best for last are moments filled with laughter while FaceTiming with Ravi or Tony and Ray, and once surgery has passed, my eagerness to expand patio play dates enjoyed with Steven, Celina and Ravi will include Barry, Marie, Tony, Ray and David, who will drive across the desert so as to enjoy heartfelt moments of love, which always prove entertaining to one and all, big and small, just because that’s our way ...

Much less entertaining were two hours spent filling in forms and questionnaires for Mayo, though much to my relief, that task is complete.  Now Will needs my help with something online, after which I plan to be a responsible voter by consulting with Google concerning those who hope to be candidates for public office as our mail-in ballots for primary elections, held in August, arrived and await my attention.  And with so much to organize for our trip to Houston while C-19, flaring throughout Texas, continues to extinguish the good health of men and women in the prime of their lives, our need for thoroughness concerning safety precautions and gathering supplies (in case of lockdown and hoarding) feels overwhelming until I remind myself to breathe deep and take one day at a time.

Time for another up note, right?  Steven, Celina and Ravi are planning a patio visit, at sunset, this evening, and I have received a motorized paddle boat, ordered from Amazon which includes a family of four, in hopes of delighting my sweet grandchild when Ravi slips into our spa to cool down.

Once they take their leave, my focus will turn toward David’s presence and his Covid test, which, being negative, freed our youngest son to pack up and drive from CA to shelter with us until we three board the plane for Houston garbed in hazmat suits, face shields and gloves, suggesting that though I’ve colored myself blue, perhaps what I’m actually feeling, upon awakening each morning, is need to suppress a freight train that’s barreling down the tracks of my mind heading straight toward Houston, packed so tightly with coiled emotions, as to make me feel—subconsciously overwhelmed ... and, now with that insight shining its spotlight upon how hard my mind/spirit connection has been working to calm emotions, which are subconsciously aswirl, NOT so deep inside—how do I end today’s post in a spiritually uplifting manner?  Well, give me a moment to clear my head of today’s freight ‘train of thought’, and I’ll bet something of a positive nature will pop out of my mind—Ahh! All I need do is to come full circle so as to concentrate my focus to reflect upon—

Barry’s most recent visit.  David’s arrival to shelter with us until we three fly to Houston.  Love tokens from treasured family and friends who long for patio visits once my energy rebounds, veggie pate whipped up, which I love.  The appearance at our front door of milk, pumpkin bread and Raisonets as tokens of love.  Salmon, steak or chicken being grilled or baked for dinner.  Homemade cookies, a knitted hat, brisket, pears, fairytale brownies, popcorn, taffy apples, bathroom tissue, bluebirds of happiness, an autographed heart, a mustard seed, books, hand cream a miniature bright red dress, poetry, cards and phone calls galore.  FaceTiming with our kids, big and small.  Loving texts and emails filling my in-boxes—Lauren’s and Susan’s texts arriving more than once daily, and Debbie’s poetry injecting my spirit with bursts of positive energy.  My main credit card company finally deleting over $3,000 worth of charges that had not been mine from 2018 after Steven threatened to sue.  And rather than sending Ravi to school with no safety precautions set in place concerning the pandemic, Steven’s notice, placed in the neighborhood news letter, received six replies from parents interested in hiring a teacher to lead a small group of kindergarteners toward following the district’s online learning program, so that sounds promising ... and Ravi and I enjoyed a lengthy FaceTime conversation, this morning, that proved most entertaining, as did our FaceTiming, last night with Barry, Marie, Tony and Ray.  This evening, David, Will and I will enjoy our patio visit with Steven, Celina and Ravi—and in addition to all of that (and so much more) for which I feel deeply grateful, I’ll contemplate my good fortune once successful surgery, Covid under control and the end of trump’s reign of terror have all been filed in the past amid every other deeply trying moment in history.

Ahhh—mission accomplished—a subconscious load of emotional pressure based in subconscious conflict weighing heavy against my chest has revealed itself to me.  So what time is it?  Not time to be a martyr but rather time to down an Ativan, prescribed specifically to relieve my mind of prolonging moments fraught with coiled tension in need of relaxation, just like this one proves to be ...

Annie 🙋🏻‍♀️🌈🌻

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