My weekend on the coast offered up much more than I’d anticipated
Why? A door swung open inside my head freeing my processor to
Relieve my heart of painful emotional history that had clogged
The loops of my brain (like unhealthy plaque clogging vessels) with
Excess baggage, which poured forth from my depths as naturally as
Old Faithful geysers up from a well spring deep within Mother Earth ...
And as I’m still enjoying time with my dear college friend, having
Readied myself to fly home in a matter of hours—more later—
Why more later? Because now that this door has readily opened as
Though all on its own, insights repressed for many years are sure to
Emerge and clamor for deeply considered absorption once
My peaceful home environment offers my think tank time to relax while
Intuitively reviewing and reconsidering conversations, which my healthily
Healing connection to wholeness had clearly absorbed just as I’d consciously
Absorbed every visceral reaction over these past several days that breathed
Sighs of release each time my intuitive voice offered my sense of
Wholeness (well grounded in the emergence of one deeper truth after another)
Sound reason to feel ever more relaxed as layers of muscle tension, based
In inner conflict (beginning at the age of three), melted clearly away as word
By word dropped off of my tongue as if a pointed icicle (which had pricked at
My subconscious layers of undeserved guilt) is wont to do on a warm sunny
Day, and as the piercing nature of this icicle transformed pointedly into
Clearly soothing streams of emergent deeper truths, the traffic jam, causing
Head on collisions between my childhood’s foggy, self demeaning misperceptions
Concerning my self conceived role as our extended family's idealistic fixer vs
Today’s adult, whose expansive dives into my past have continued to project
The ongoing development of the emotionally mature person whom I continue to
Grow toward being by seeking to absorb the self awareness that proves
Necessary to inspire my conscious mind to draw forth insight-driven
Trains of thought, which are sure to emerge during moments of solitude, which
My think tank naturally craves in the aftermath of any emotional encounter that
Proves so intensely visceral as to clue my think tank into the fact that yet another
Welcome change for the better, which has been taking place, over time, deep inside
My brain, has shifted an attitude that, having been born of subconscious fear of
My own personal imperfections long repressed from conscious awareness, has, upon
Full disclosure to me (over these past several days), stepped to one side so as to
Stop blocking my mental acuity from developing the readiness to divest me of
My childhood need to silence the self-assertive portion of my voice, which, over
The weekend, clearly spoke up, thus expressing exactly what I feel to
My neicce and nephew, whose hearts have yearned to absorb the depths of
My deeply considered emotional reactions, which, no longer fearing exposure
Flowed so naturally from within the depths of my mind's eye as to invite their
Hearts and minds to conjoin with mine as we three ventured ever so
Courageously into the holy sanctuary where deeper truth, cleansed of yesteryear’s
Emotional pain, resides within the cellar of every apartment complex that
Makes up every brain that houses the courage to peer ever more deeply inside until
The door to your personal need to freely and boldly identify, explore, reconsider and
Release childhood’s misperception of your existential expression of self expands so
Securely (thus clearly) before your wide open eyes as to invite your highly personal
Connection to wholesome wholeness to rest awhile until your adventurous spirit
Feels need to search for deeper levels of living your life so meaningfully as to
Follow your brain’s intuitive voice ever more securely into
The great unknown, which has been safely harbored within the inner sanctum of
The subconscious portion of your memory bank, all along, suggesting tha
The main root of your primary inner conflict, repressed (since childhood) has
Been hiding, biding its time to ripen on the vine, until the middleman (your
Intuitive voice) feels ready to act as the conveyor belt that passes information
Repressed within the depths of a child's subconscious, ever so carefully through
The connective tunnels that wind this way and that through your brain so as to
Reach the conscious portion of your processor, which, serving as the humbled
Receptacle into which deeper truths are (no longer empowered to scare
Your decisions into mental submission as had been true whenever your mind
Flooded with anxiety, had succumbed to need to herd solely within the narrow
Dictates of your birth family's black and white definitions of 'rights and
Wrongs'), are finally deposited, safe and sound, and since the deepest of truths
Eventually emerge to set us free to be you and me, scary memories squirreled
Away from conscious cognition emerge, layer by layer, once your secured
Sense of emotionally matured readiness proves the deepest truth of all to be
Much more your articulate friend than your silent, self defeating foe (who
Had landed a lifetime of low Undeserved blows directly at your most
Admirable, hard won character traits—Hmmm ... ‘‘tis becoming clear that
Today’s string of emergent intuitive insights is the tip of the iceberg that’s
Bound to melt so as to carry our life raft—I mean this blog—toward
The segway of the river where rapids, continuing to loosen one rocky
Reason after another that had caused a child to fear capsizing
The family's carefully constructed (self deceiving) floatation device
Fabricated of layers of denial in which natural emotions that society’s
Hypocritical dictates have twisted and turned into travesties of that
Which comprises our ‘real’ selves, have woven a web in which everyone of
Us remains caught—until every emotion that is natural to humankind's
Brain stem (from birth to death) has been freed from judgmental condemnation
So reviled as to live and breathe within the mind’s eye's resident apartment
Complex where love and passion, brainstorming ever more cooperatively with
Common sense and self control, reside in harmony, much more often than
Not—and wouldn't this be an idealist's world if that wish came true, today ...
Ohhmm ...
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