So—having scrolled through my files, penned years ago
The story I'd hoped to single out did not readily appear
And as I clearly remember penning a detailed account of
Emotional reactions which arose from deep within my heart during
The aftermath of the head on collision, which came close to
Putting out my lights, my memory has been jogged to question
Whether several stories, all of which had seemed interrelated, had been
Saved within one file at a time when I'd thought the saga of
My life would be so simple to write that I'd not forget
The name of the file in which each batch of stories was saved—
Needless to say, that thought process took place at a time when
Denial stood guard, maintaining tight control over my memories, thus
Protecting me from experiencing so much as an inkling of
A hint concerning the origin of any uprising of anxiety that
Sometime later, would have proved latent (subconscious) in nature
Since that missing story-file, containing the standout nature of
Our life-threatening auto accident, continues to escape discovery
You may be inclined to wonder—what's up next? Well—
The current state of my resistance to penning that true tale
All over again sees me mulling over this choice:
A—Barrel over resistance and write the story, anyway or
B—Outline what happened as would an observer, leaving
The depths of my personal reactions locked
Within Pandora's box where sleeping dogs (which
Tend to bite), lie undisturbed—or
C—Await signs of mental readiness to pen that story enriched in
Detail as naturally as had been true of the original for this reason:
It's highly possible that today's rendition will provide us with
A storyline that proves to be more deeply laden with insight than
Had been possible at an earlier time in my life before
My conscious mind had gained an awareness of need to
Perk up its antenna so as to listen ever more astutely whenever
My intuitive powers offered tidbits of guidance aimed at advancing
My inner need toward achieving a heartfelt goal, which had
Proved stubbornly illusive until my listening skills experienced
Sound reason to continue to develop the depth so as to heighten
My conscious awareness to grow ever more attentive to
Those blessed times when insight, flashing through
My sixth sense, whispered classic words of wisdom into my ear
As you know how strongly I feel about
Mustering patience until my intuitive sense of
Mental readiness arises on its own, my decision to go with
The tried and true nature of my writing pattern, which
Has met with story-telling success in the past, points
My brain’s decision-maker toward starting this story off with
A brief summary of that terrifying head-on collision as
Would an impartial reporter jotting down notes until
Such time as my intuitive powers direct my defense system to
Let down the drawbridge once the courageous portion of
My processor signals readiness on the part of
My conscious awareness to provide my inner strengths with
Safe passage over any self conceived alligators that
Might mistake my naked vulnerability as lunch!
One day, one inner strength or another is bound to
Emerge so as to empower my think tank to
Sit my defense system in time out, freeing up
My emotional intelligence—fortified by
The courage of my convictions—to approach
My computer and write one story after another, all of which
Remain blocked, at this point in time—by what?
By defensive reactions, which for unknown reason prove to be
Beyond my conscious comprehension suggesting why
My brain remains reluctant to unlock the door behind which
A host of true tales has longed for release in compliance with
My storyteller’s wishes, suggesting why we’ll wait until
My sense of readiness begins to filter through cracks in
My subconscious wall of denial so naturally as to release
A sudden rush of intuitive insight, which will feel so
Self empowered as to have need to funnel
Splashes of repressed emotion through a tunnel in which
My processor, simulating a Cuisinart, will blend
Yesteryear’s impassioned reactions with today’s
Trains of logical thought so as to make up combinations of
Words so rich in insight and detail as to stream fully formed
Sentences out of the darkness of my depths as though
Strings of insight had been so well-trained as to stand at
Attention until my sixth sense signaled my subconscious to
Ignite a beam of light so bright as to burn a hole through
My wall of defensive denial, freeing the entire battalion of
Carefully worded sentences to soldier forth, marching in
Linear formation back and forth across my computer’s screen at
Times even faster than my fingers can dance all over
The keyboard, and the illusively illuminating effect of
Having freed that first story from mental captivity will
Signal my memory to wholeheartedly release
Additional stories, all of which will prove to be
Related to the first just as is true when
Mother Nature guides the tide to respond to
The earth's gravitational pull, which naturally draws
One wave after another toward the shore, and
If you ask what catalyzed my intuition to release
Today’s first flash of insight, which, having ignited
More, has just described my story-telling pattern, I'd reply:
While penning this post, that first flash of insight spotlighted
My story-teller's build up of repressed frustration in hopes of
Guiding my conscious awareness toward taking
A leap of faith so as to land upon this deeper truth:
Every story penned and posted, thus far, has
Danced freely out of my memory so as to have
Breathed life into every true tale told; Therefore
Any attempt to alter that tried and true pattern, which
Consistently aims my story teller's enthusiastic approach toward
Reaping the rewards of repetitive success makes
No sense to me, at all, suggesting why I’ll double my efforts to
Minimize my frustration by refortifying my waining level of
Patience—again—rather than forcing my processor to
Relate a story in such a stilted manner as to
Draw forth my readers yawns—and
If you ask how long my newly refortified patience can possibly last
I'd reply: As long as necessary, because otherwise
My memory's ability to release insight-laden details will remain
Beyond my processor’s conscious awareness until
My intuitive powers freely guide the logical portion of
My brain toward reevaluating yesteryear's impassioned and
Thus emotionally charged, highly personal experiences, which had
So shaken my subconscious self image as to have remained repressed within
A state of mental confusion until such time as the courageous side of
My spirit, feeling self-empowered to act like the force of nature, which
I now know myself to be, catalyzes a mental shift to take place inside
My head whereby a tightly compressed, chaotic sense of emotionality will
Naturally and thus, spontaneously, break free of
Subconscious repression so as to be openly expressed in
A lively, yet rebalanced, well-organized story-telling fashion—
And that, my friends, portends to be my intuitive plan of action
As for now, today's intuitive train of thought has
Come full circle just in time for Will to drive me to
The airport so that on the morrow, Tony's smile
Will connect with mine as I take my seat alongside
The smiling faces of family on the coast, who plan to
Gather in the school auditorium, front row center, where
We’ll enjoy his second grade play: The Three Billy Goats Gruff
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