1468BBBBBBBBBBBBBBB IMAGINE!

Three posts back, five photos were published showcasing Ravi's attentive absorption of everything she experiences with her family whose loving presence offers much more than sheltering a vulnerable child's sense of safety from experiencing harm.  Before attending school, interaction with family constitutes a small child's entire world.  Each photo chosen conveys the natural eagerness with which Ravi's emotional intelligence (between twelve and eighteen months of age) soaked in everything she saw, heard and felt as we shared life experiences, together.

So, what happens when fate severs the connection of an intelligent young mind from everything and everyone who feels the excruciating torment of being utterly incapable of sheltering a beloved child who feels lost, alone and abandoned while still in their midst?

Annie's soulful communion with Helen was a godsend to the entire Keller family.

If we look back at that post, which captures five snapshots of Ravi's innate intelligence contemplating everything she sees, hears and experiences, we'll catch glimmers of insight spotlighting the inquisitive, absorptive nature of Ravi's mind as well as her spirit's natural enjoyment of life,  both of which proved true of Helen's mind and spirit before illness robbed her of all meaningful connection with those she loved and whose guidance Helen's lost sense of safety must surely have craved at the highly vulnerable age of nineteen months ... and now, having poured today's stream of intuitive awareness into this post, I wonder how Helen's relationship with Annie may have developed differently had this seven year old wild child not enjoyed 19 months of healthy mental, emotional and spiritual communion with loved ones previous to the illness, which swirled the sunny side of her spirit's need to thrive 
 into the dark abyss of silence, which offered no choice other than surviving, 24/7, until the presence of a gifted-new-friend offered Helen's relentless frustration with reason to sense her intuitive powers readiness to break through her lengthy period of isolation as would a caterpillar, which, following instinctive need to construct a cocoon, sought to undergo the most trying stages of metamorphosis until such time as Helen felt empowered to hold the world in the palm of her hand as naturally as had felt true before fear of loss grew so overwhelming as to have gripped her brain's agile ability to sense soulful connection into a choke hold, where enveloped within naught but darkness and silence, a sweet natured child fell victim to depths of anguished madness too confounding for the sighted to fathom  ...

Rather than sighting a rest station directly ahead, tooday's stream of insights leads my active mind to ask:  Is it possible that by nineteen months of age, Helen's innately intuitive brain may have absorbed morsels of experiential insight necessary to heighten seven her perceptive awareness of Annie's valiant attempts to connect with a seven year old child's fertile, though fallow, processor by running water over Helen's hand followed by spelling out the word w-a-t-e-r repeatedly into her up turned palm until the dormancy of Helen's intelligence reawakened to absorb Annie's heartfelt never give up attitude as her own?

Otherwise how was it possible that by the end of that glorious day Helen's think tank had engaged with Annie's processor in such a mutually enriching manner as to have transferred 30 words from Annie's fingertips into Helen's open palm, which translating into human-to-human understanding, were deposited into a hopeful child's renewed sense of ever-hungry, openly receptive memory bank?

I imagine every person in the Keller family awakening the next morning to the wondrous hope that after five years of isolated, inner tension carried forward ever since the natural buoyancy of loving interconnectedness had been traumatically severed by illness, would magically desolve  ... I mean, seriously, what greater sense of awe can life offer to the spirit, which had accepted defeat, other than to awaken, one day, to reconnect with hope, thought to have been irretrievably lost ...

I imagine intermittent spurts of hope freeing deeply suppressed emotions that tumble forth in such a disorganized manner as to render the voice speechless until the logical portion of the processor's intelligence indicates readiness to regain its ability to rebalance its soulful sense of serenity, again ... Ohhmmm ...

Momentarily, Will and I are about to board a flight home after enjoying a long weekend on the coast, celebrating Ray's sixth birthday, and so here's one last thought that comes to mind before switching my iPad to function in airplane mode:

Though I've grown toward consciously grooming my brain to function as a well balanced whole come what may, my spirit's sense of awe remains amazed at the number of conflicting emotions that share mind space with logic while my processor works to maintain a self respecting sense of inner strength, which proves necessary if my chosen attitude of serenity is to be quickly regained whenever a flash from the past stimulates a rise in defensive anxiety that needs to be consciously soothed in time out (along with the undermining nature of undeserved guilt). thus freeing my newly re-balanced processor to roll out the red carpet in warm welcome whenever opportunity feels ready to express (and absorb) whatever comes naturally, heart to heart ... 

1468BBBBBBBBBBBBBB ANOTHER THOUGHT ABOUT TRANQUILITY

Time and again, I find that my choice to consciously focus my attitude toward embracing a heartfelt sense of loving kindness creates a natural aura of tranquility, which, proving contagious, suggests that 'the presence of serenity' is the best gift I can offer in hopes of relaxing my loved ones' anxiety, if not their physical pain ...

The photo published in yesterday's post showing Helen nestling into the heartfelt presence of Annie clearly conveys the intuitive pureness of love connecting two human souls. 🌈

1468BBBBBBBBBBBBB ONE PICTURE IS WORTH ...

Annie did much more than inspire the intelligence of a child—who felt utterly alone with no understanding of her dark, silent, interminal frustration—to rise above overwhelming adversity ...

Annie's patient devotion coupled with well-educated, creative methods of communication offered Helen's seven year old spirit that which a desperate child needs most to thrive, namely—love's unconditional, heartfelt connection to humanity—

from Getty Images

1468BBBBBBBBBBBB PERCEPTIVE AWARENESS IS HEIGHTENED BY INSIGHT

"Helen Keller was an author, lecturer, and crusader for the handicapped. Born physically normal in Tuscumbia, Alabama, Keller lost her sight and hearing at the age of nineteen months to an illness now believed to have been scarlet fever. Five years later, on the advice of Alexander Graham Bell, her parents applied to the Perkins Institute for the Blind in Boston for a teacher, and from that school hired Anne Mansfield Sullivan. Through Sullivan’s extraordinary instruction, the little girl learned to understand and communicate with the world around her. She went on to acquire an excellent education and to become an important influence on the treatment of the blind and deaf."

While re-reading the paragraph above, can you spot which sentence proves most enlightening when considering how insight serves to heighten a person's perceptive awareness?

Need a hint?  Here are five ...

1468BBBBBBBBBBB HOW DID HELEN OVERCOME OVERWHELMING ADVERSITY?

How is it that Annie Sullivan achieved the indescribable feat of connecting her intelligence with that of a wild child, whose infant brain had contracted an illness so devastating as to have completely severed Helen's mental connection from sight and sound, condemning a highly vulnerable child to a lonely world in which her fertile, yet deeply chaotic, undisciplined sense of intelligence and unbridled energy experienced naught but darkness and silence 24/7 ... for five years?

How is it that I awaken with intuition coaxing my conscious mind to inject a string of interconnected insights in the middle of a previously published post?  And why does this happen, repeatedly (suggestive of the fact that insights, concerning Helen and Annie, were added to yesterday's post ...)?

How is it that today's trio of questions are interrelated?

If your intuitive powers coax you to review yesterday's post then your long term memory will absorb answers to today's quest for deeper truth as has mine ... Ohhmmm

PS
Though tis true that I'm in awe of the tender hearted, never-give-up nature of the teacher mentioned above, Ms. Sullivan did not come to mind when I chose to adopt the pseudonym of Annie as my own—in fact my primary reason for 'seeing' myself as Annie proves much more simplistic than you might surmise ...

1468BBBBBBBBBB TODAY'S TRAIN OF THOUGHT RUNS RINGS AROUND D.C.

As of late, I've come to see that my brain's innate potential to develop the mind control necessary to create an attitude of serenity depends upon choosing to limit time spent with those who, demonstrating little awareness of need to conscientiously develop an inner line of control, have no clue of dishonoring the concept of mutual respect most especially at times when differences of opinion grow so hot tempered as to alert my intelligence to stop me from participating in the resurrection of emotionally explosive scenes so dramatic as to rival a Shakespearean farce as if Much Ado About Nothing has leapt from the stage only to land in the center of our living room, where a barrage of heart-piercing insults storm back and forth, after which explosive temperaments, harboring misunderstandings, are, for the most part, shoved back under the rug until next time.

Reflection suggests that when my turn came to raise a family, I consciously chose to inform and coach myself to inspire my children to follow my role modeling lead in hopes that, day by day, each agile mind would grow ever more open toward freely embracing an attitude of self disciplined cooperation, and with time on my side, my subconscious, which (unbeknownst to me) had set this long-term plan into motion, met with such a high degree of success that my sense of creativity grew ever more bold so as to devise logical consequences that encouraged my offspring to think twice before repeating a misdemeanor, and as my intuitive powers took note of one success leading toward the next, my conscious mind, feeling encouraged from deep within, grew ever more reluctant to employ autocratic threats of punitive measures, which, in addition to enforcing obedience, would have planted rebellious, passive aggressive attitudes within the heads of my three sons, and as
that end would have proved counter productive to achieving my intuitive long term plan, my sixth sense coached my conscious mind to accept every new challenge that comes with raising each child as a testament to my ability to climb up each next rung on what promised to be my personal and professional ladder of success ...

Today, whence I find myself engaged with those whose subconscious insecurities drive their survival instincts to stimulate an egocentric need to power struggle for dominance until every brain in the room succumbs to an attitude of subservience, I heed an intuitive cue to exit the fray taking place on center stage in favor of seeking a quiet alcove in which to resuscitate my newly realized attitude of serenity before my defense system alerts an adrenaline rush to replace the free flow of oxygen needed to nourish my conscious mind so as to maintain leadership's calm connection to logic when people, reacting like chickens who have lost their heads (ala Henny Penny), are still running in circles, clucking:  The sky is falling!

BTW:  Leadership (mentioned directly above) references my need to lead myself to react to indignities—thrust furiously upon my person—in a dignified, mutually respectful manner, through and through, so that my line of control can't fool me into believing myself calm when adrenalin, racing through my bloodstream, alerts me to take heed of anger or heartache, which cannot be denied.

Each time a train of thought, like today's, considers the ineffectiveness of our law makers, I choose to bend the dark force of my frustration toward re-energizing an attitude of hope, based in this premise—tis way past time for elected politicians to stop chickening out or else!
Or else what?
Or else before too long, the day will dawn when
They and their fine feathered CEO friends will find themselves
Plucked, dunked in tar and run clear out of D.C.!

Though the universe doth not necessarily grant what we want (or deserve) in a timely fashion, somehow the universal spirit offers what we need to arouse our sixth sense to spy the stealth with which our defense systems blind the conscious portions of our brains from spotlighting the self-serving nature of egocentricity, which (peeking out from behind our walls of denial) whitewashes our lack of perceptiveness concerning the ease with which we give the brush off to needs that conflict with our own—and that proves true in our homes as well as in D.C.

Twas not Helen's eyes or ears that opened her mind to seek meaningful connection with those she could not see or hear—twas the unfulfilled nature of her intuitive spirit that conjoined with Annie's heartfelt never-give-up attitude, which had so tenderly accepted Helen's wild demonstrations of need to connect as to calm the hot-wired tension that had separated this wild child from those she'd longed to love.  With time on their side, Annie's calm and patient consistency served to quiet the untamed fear, fury and distress, which had overwhelmed the innate intelligence laying fallow within the untapped portion of Helen's brain.  Due to the fact that Annie's positively focused, loving spirit continued to commune peaceably with Helen's desperate longing to absorb every deeply meaningful, interactive, spiritual connection that life, love and education offers to each individual, the ravenous intelligence of this lonely child felt stimulated to take one existential leap of faith after another until short range goals, which Annie had set for the two of them, were achieved as a team, and each time teamwork achieved a short range goal, a mutual sense of celebration closed in on accomplishing a long range goal, little by little.  In short, the intuitive nature of a tender-hearted teacher and the innate intelligence of a child, entrapped within a terrifying, dark, silent world of loneliness, created the perfect blend of friendship necessary to formulate bonds of spiritual communion, liberating Helen's brain to switch tracks from chaotic desperation toward developing the self confidence to absorb everything that Annie's extraordinary capacity for communicating creatively and respectfully had clearly offered up, and thus did the gentle touch of this perceptive teacher inspire her pupil's eagerness to cherish an attitude of self-respectful, open minded readiness to go forth, hand in hand, with a knowledgable mentor, whose personal strengths provided Helen's intuitive spirit with the courage, tenacity, patience and positively focused desire necessary to rise above childhood's emotionally devastating, intellectually overwhelming, physical adversity, suggestive of this fact:  When the teacher appeared, a deeply confounded, love-starved child learned to pave her path by taking one couragous step at a time, and thus was she guided by love to leave darkness behind in favor of serving as a beacon of light, who grew up to be a compassionate, self disciplined, mutually respectful, college educated, assertive adult, whose life story serves to inspire expressions of awe from deep within the soul of every person who learns of Helen's heartfelt, life-long climb past frustration toward the pinnacle of personal and professional success with Annie by her side, and as The story of Helen's life encourages others to overcome their plight, the heroic nature of a wild child, longing for spiritual communion with a highly perceptive, deeply compassionate, well-educated leader will never be forgot ... Ohhmmm

I must believe that somewhere across the great expanse of our great nation exists an intelligent mind, which (having been tenderly channeled to embrace a magnanimous role of leadership) feels so secure as to make sound use of his/her voice to rouse the intelligence of our divided legislature to embrace its sworn duty to serve the unmet needs of the silent majority, because, as a whole, the wearied people of our great nation prove in dire need of positively focused, experiential, diplomatic leadership, and at this point in today's stream of intuitive consciousness, I feel need to ask:  If a blustering bully proves more ineffectual than was true of inexperienced charisma then where is leadership, so experienced, charismatic and emotionally mature as to effect change for the better by engaging our nation's collective awareness to switch tracks from wasting energy by casting blame, back and forth, toward co-creating such a soulful sense of unity as to run lip service straight out of Dodge!

I must believe that somewhere across the expanse of our great nation a person, whose readiness to elevate his/her intelligence to serve the betterment of mankind, exists, and thus do I ask:
When will our generation's courageous leader stand so tall and magnetic as to inspire the people to march in peaceful demonstration against those who, buckling under the egocentric needs of big business, do nothing more than continue to kneel in servitude to Big Brother?  And once this assertive leader of men, women and children, who will surely rise before our eyes (suggesting common sense giving rise to hope that history will repeat itself) what, pray tell, will be thy name and claim to fame?  Will thy name be ...

Nathan:    I regret that I have but one life to give to my country
George:    Do not King me
Abe:         Four score and seven years ago, our forefathers...
Harriet:    Slave grown to freedom fighter, exemplifying unparalleled courage
Teddy:     Speak calmly and carry a big stick
Eleanor:  You must do the thing you think you can not
Harry:     The buck stops here
Rosa:      A soft spoken African American sat down for her right to liberty with dignity
Helen:     Educator, who overcame personal adversity to 'voice' humanitarian ideals
John:       Ask not what your country can do for you but rather ...
Martin:    I have a dream ...

And so, my friends, do I ... Ohhmmm

1468BBBBBBBBB. IF THEE THINKS TO KNOW THYSELF IN DEPTH, PLEASE THINK AGAIN

Upon awakening to pen yesterday's post
The conscious portion of my brain had no clue that by the time
The sun had set, my intuition would have empowered my intelligence to
Stand tall upon a soapbox, making sound use of my existential voice to
Thoroughly trounce every one of our elected officials for cowering
Anxiously behind passivity, which serves to free Trump to
Flounce about, trouncing the majesty of our great nation, which
Thus far, hath seen no spokesman (of the people, by the people and
For the people) arise to demonstrate the inner strength necessary
To rally our legislature to band together to devise a plan, ASAP, that
Will legally send His Ranting Highness packing, followed by
Leading brainstorming sessions, which prove so well organized as to
Focus our legislators' intelligence toward creating changes that will
Serve the betterment of our voting populous as a whole, once
Both houses of congress concentrate their efforts upon regaining
Lost ground in hope of ensuring that the national safety of
Our republic does not continue to slip slide ever further away from
Insuring the sustainable stability of our future ... Ohhmmm

1468BBBBBBBB CONJOINING EXISTENTIALISM WITH SERENITY

It's not as if insights, permeating my attitudes with positively focused energy
Are new to my generation ... after all, insights, inspiring success bred of
Positivity, have been passed forward for centuries ...
It's just that every generation exhibits need to review
Classic insights, most especially when progress remains stuck within
Dark potholes of disillusionment, which grow as quickly as
Weeds into black holes of despair where negatively focused
Trains of thought remain so darkly entrenched in
Defensive reactiveness as to blind the maddening crowd from
Recognizing all the signs that signal mankind to tune into
This reality ASAP:  The time is past ripe for
Forward thinking leadership to band together to brainstorm as to
How best to disempower a defensive mindset, whose
Deep-seated insecurity fearS every person of consequence whose
Intuitive powers are determined to forge an existential path of
His/her own in hopes of influencing our governing bodies to
Unseat the egocentric bully residing in the White House so as
End his barrage of blustering blunders, which seemingly have
Overwhelmed the intelligence of our governing bodies to the point of
Paralysis, suggesting that those, whom we've elected to speak for us
Have lost the use of their voices, suggesting that leadership, in general
Must be held responsible if our great nation fails to terminate
The self agrandizing buffoon ASAP before his first term in office does
Even more damage to our standing throughout the world
And now that today's train of thought (confronting
The deeply disillusioned state of our planet) has swirled freely out of
The intuitive portion of my brain, my conscious awareness has
Clearly come to see that more folk than ever before during my lifetime
Have serious need to consider that a highly personalized definition of
Serenity will more than likely begin to shape up inside their heads once
An existential path of their own has been consciously secured  ... and
Being that today's post has tapped into my sense of existential tranquility
Concerning the role positivity plays in guiding my life
My engine (having stoked itself with a hopeful attitude regarding
Leadership rising above the fray to oust an out of control
Negatively focused, darkly defensive egotist, whose name I still can't
Associate with 'Mr. President', feels ready to pull this current
Train of thought into the next rest station so as not to stuff too much
Food for thought I nto your processor or mine, all at once ... Ohhmmm

1468BBBBBBB TODAY, I AWOKE FEELING LIKE THAT INDUSTRIOUS ANT

As recent posts have referenced serenity, repeatedly, rather than
Taxing your patience by asking you to back track, again
I've copied intuitive revisions to yesterday's post, below, and
In addition to revisions dancing through my head, overnight
Guess what else twirled right out of the depths of my mind once
The conscious portion of my processor awakened, feeling
Refreshed and re-energized, this morning?
The answer to the question left swinging between us at
The very end of post 1468BBBBBB ... and now, without
Further ado, let's see how naturally my revisions and
'Your' question's answer came to blend ever so smoothly together:

Each time my intuition empowers its little voice to speak up and
Be heard, my conscious awareness tunes into my need to
Embrace personal growth spurts throughout every stage of life, and
In this way do I caution myself to remember that
Mind expansion depends upon listening up and taking note of
Deeper truth literally speaking clearly to me from within my soul
And in this manner do I call upon my line of control to muster
The inner calm necessary to create change for the better by
Focusing inward until an attitude is sighted, which is currently
In need of switching tracks from close-minded, defensive negativity toward
Freely embracing (thus re-strengthening) my preferred position of
Open-minded, objective positivity in hopes of gaining (rather than losing) ground as
As I continue to work toward achieving a heartfelt goal that continues to feel
Too slippery to be safely held within my grasp, and
Each time today's train of thought permeates the conscious portion
Of my mind, I'm reminded of that industrious ant, instinctively making
Good use of his innate ability to move the proverbial rubber tree plant, one
Tiny step forward after another—then again, I'm not an ant—
I'm a person, who can't help but wish for a perfect world in which
All people would grow toward freely embracing this reality:

Achieving success doth not depend upon push and shove
Ultimately, success depends upon fully embracing
A lasting awareness of need to train one's mind to
Gain and maintain a soulful (serene) balance between
Self respect and mutual respect regarding differing needs, and
Accomplishing this on-going feat of gaining mental strength
Depends upon S teeping one's conscious mind with patience by
Choosing to embrace mankind (oneself included) flaws and all with
A growing sense of heartfelt tranquility, most especially when
Success proves to be such a long range goal as to feel just beyond
Reach so as to suggest need for an attitude adjustment from
Fielding frustration toward seeking insight concerning how best to
Divide any long range goal into a series of short range goals, each of which
May be achieved with a greater sense of celebration than
Had been possible when my mental appetite had unconsciously focused on
Biting off far more than my processor could digest, all at once —Ohhmmm—

1468BBBBBB EACH ADULT IS ACCOUNTABLE FOR BUILDING A LIFE RAFT

Today, while reviewing my reply to my friend's question—How are you?—a stream of insights flowed forth so naturally from within my intuitive well spring of deeper truth as to have strengthened the content of post 1468BBBBB.

When, as of late, my intuition feels empowered to speak up and be heard, my conscious awareness (tuning into my need for personal growth throughout every stage of life) reminds me that mind expansion depends upon listening up and taking note of deeper truth literally speaking clearly from within my soul.  And thus do I manage to muster the patience necessary to create change for the better, one step at a time, by calmly steering my focus inward until an attitude is sighted, which is currently in need of switching tracks from close-minded, defensive negativity in favor of freely embracing (re-strengthening) my preferred position of open-minded, objective positivity, which keeps my intelligence focused ever more consistently upon gaining (rather than losing) ground by energizing every interactive function of my brain to work as a well organized whole toward achieving a heartfelt goal that still feels too slippery to consider safely within my grasp  ...  and if you feel inclined to ask:  How do you muster the patience to maintain a calming sense of emotional composure if a heartfelt goal remains just beyond reach for years?  I'd reply ... please tune in tomorrow when my intuitive voice has had time to sleep on a question, which seems as cerebral as that ... Ohhmmm

1468BBBBB MORE THAN SHE'D BARGAINED FOR ...

Today, after sending a happy birthday email to a dear friend whom I've not seen for quite some time, she replied:  Thank you!  How are you?  To which I replied:

I'm well and actually, tranquil (at least for now) 😊 🌈

Rather than seeing myself as a life raft, transporting all of my loved ones safely through every set of rapids until we reach a distant shore, I envision my processor as a supportive compass, voicing compassionate words of comfort in hopes of providing a calming effect, which minimizes muscular tension that deprives our blood vessels of oxygen necessary to re-energize a person's clear-headed intelligence to remain fully focused upon achieving heartfelt goals ever more successfully throughout each next stage of life.   And if you wonder what catalyzed this change for the better in my attitude (regarding my newly relaxed self image), I'd say:  Thank goodness I choose to engage in sessions of EMDR therapy, which channel my thought processor toward identifying subconscious attitudes that proved in need of intuitive re-consideration ever since I lost sight of my true path at the vulnerable age of three when childhood's rapids swept my self image toward the fork in the river where my survival instinct felt so confused as to direct my defense system to construct a life raft that would surely transport all of my deeply confounded, grieving loved ones toward an undisclosed, distant shore where inner peace awaits us all.

Over most of my life, I had no conscious clue that my subconscious fear of seeing myself as unworthy of love was constantly repairing this life raft, which could not possibly secure the emotional safety of every person (beginning with my birth family) whenever fate flung another turbulent set of mind-darkening rapids across our path, releasing our defense systems to sweep our confounded processors' internal compasses off course, again and again, and that was the crux of the story of my life until EMDR therapy encouraged me to see that Mother Nature charges each person, grown to adulthood, with being accountable for securing an internal compass, which, pointing to true north, guides the existential nature of our think tanks toward constructing a personal life raft that seeks calm waters in which to ponder ever more deeply into the disruptive nature of one's own despairing emotional turbulence, which separates us from realizing heartfelt goals, and having come to see that each adult is charged with setting one's sights upon paddling toward that distant shoreline where inner peace awaits to welcome every wearied time traveler, who seeks to grow self aware, home—each at his or her own pace—I (having taken precautions to burn no bridges while my intuitive powers coach the wounded portion of my self esteem to heal itself of childhood's festering wounds) feel eager to warmly embrace every wounded warrior, whose self awareness sends out signals of readiness to tune into intuitive need to work at self healing as has clearly as has been true of me over these past several years.

And that's your loquacious friend's way of responding:

"I'm fine.  How are you?"

LOL!

Annie

BTW:  Discretion suggested that this particular friend, who just earned her PhD in psychology, would not be inclined to send out the men in white coats with a straight jacket, size 4 petite, in hopes of saving me from roaming around, 24/7, ever more deeply into the growing expanse of my think tank🌞 

1468BBBB SERENITY SOOTHES AS NATURALLY AS A BALM

A world of difference exists between lugging forward
Subconscious guilt (which weighed undeservedly so heavily on
My spirit as to have aroused My Fixer to feel accountable for repairing
That which proved beyond my control) vs consciously
Acknowledging those times when my intelligence has need to partner with
Creativity to conjure up a plan, which proves so simplistic as to offer
My spirit sound reason to smile (proactively) each time I choose to
Gift my loved ones (whose spirits are dragging with weariness from
Wrestling unsuccessfully against life's unresolved dilemmas) with reason to
Feel uplifted as we all partake in a cup full of smiles sweetened with
Comforting words as naturally soothing as a balm, and each time
We encourage each other to switch tracks from negatively focused
Attitudes toward co-creating change for the better
Hope, renewed, may linger longer than
Than the brief length of time that we'd spent together

As the simplicity of this plan entices fear-based frustration to
Relax, all around, the contagious nature of serenity reduces
Muscle tension, if not for the long haul, at least temporarily ...
And having spent these past four days at the bedside of
Will's brother (where we also commiserated tenderly with
His wearied, care-taking wife), tis time for us to
Board our flight, stow our carry-ons, sit back, buckle up and
Relax, having placed our faith in our pilot's expertise to
Fly this bird across the sky while thoughts of loved ones, who
Having chosen to retire in Santa Fe, had need to acknowledge this reality:
Though life lived within this laid back land of enchantment had
Offered both an enriching sense of heartfelt contentment over these past
Fifteen years, medical facilities prove inadequate when we, who
Feel startled upon staring advanced age in the eye, are in need of
Intensive medical care, and as reality has charged
Our loved ones' intelligence with effecting change for the better with haste
Tomorrow sees Will's 80 year old brother being transferred by
Private ambulance from this clean but dilapidated
Long term care facility in favor of taking up permanent residence with
His wife at his side within a gracious medical facility, situated in
One of Albuquerque's lovely southwestern mountain settings where
Those in need of attentive assisted, senior living dwell in
Close proximity to a staff of highly trained professionals, offering
An incapacitated husband and his exhausted wife a greater sense of
Inner peace than has been true since my brother-in-law's physical and
Cognetive decline began to grow ever more transparent, over these past
Two years, and though tranquil is not what I'd felt while hugging
Our loved ones good-bye, the fact that they are about to proactively create
A new normal for themselves within a compassionate community where
My brother in law will receive professional care, 24/7, is
Truly a comforting relief, most especially because his wife is scheduled to
Undergo total knee surgery, followed by a grueling course of
Physical therapy in less than two weeks time, and the fact that their move is
Imminent frees Will's mind and mine to return to our home in readiness to
Fly to the west coast, because upon answering my cell phone, today.
I listened to Barry express his dismay over the fact that
Seven year old Tony had broken both of his wrists ... Ohhhmmm

A world of difference often exists between happiness and serenity
And here's how EMDR therapy clarified that reality for me:
I do not necessarily feel happy while feeling
Soulfully saturated and thus serene in regards to the person
I continue to conscientiously choose to grow to be, and each time
I consciously relax The Fixer (minimizing reason for my anxiety to
Strike when fate offers my loved ones yet another turbulent ride through
The rapids) this change for the better concerning my attitude, which
Proves to be within my personal realm of control, serves to
Calm me enough to S oothe distress from escalating unnecessarily, all around
And if you ask me to specify which change for the better empowers
My presence to feel as naturally soothing as a balm, I'd reply:
Rather than envisioning myself as self appointed
Chief problem solver in charge of solution seeking, my newly
Relaxed self image tends to sprinkle a consciously readjusted
Positively focused personal presence of gentle repose throughout the room ...

Today, when my ear alerts my mind to respond to a loved one's
Distress signal of SOS, rather than subconsciously feeling
Anxiously responsible for ensuring everyone's safe-keeping, thus
Transforming my think tank into the life raft upon which
All feel need to cling for dear life, I see myself as
An intuitive human being, whose inner compass directs
My processor to offer compassionate, clear-headed support to
Those who, feeling confused and challenged while advancing
Through a near and present danger, keep their eyes, ears and
Intelligence trained upon reaching that which feels like (and
May prove to be) a distant shore, and in order to fully embrace
This attitude of tranquility before anxiety strikes, all I need do is
To switch tracks from yesteryear's mindset, which had
Charged my battery with feeling personally responsible for fueling
The life raft, transporting all of my loved ones through
Every next mind soaking, spiritually exhausting set of rapids
Toward feeling like a calmly supportive compass ... Ohhmmm

1468BBB ... WALKING THE WALK

Defining serenity as an attitude is one thing
Practicing what I preach with sincerity is another
Whereas talking the talk is easy peasy
It's now apparent that walking this walk with consistency is
No easier than retiring The Fixer, which
Makes me wonder if sustaining an attitude of
Serenity will naturally feel less challenging to
Maintain once The Fixer has actually,  graciously retired ...

BTW, have I thought to mention whether
My wish to gift my brother-in-law's spirit with
Reason to drink from a cup full of smiles was granted?
With tongue in cheek, I plan to answer that question with another:
Upon choosing to scroll back to post 1468BB
Might your thought processor find newly added
Information as uplifting to your spirit as was true of mine?

1468BB YOU MIGHT WANT TO RETRACE YOUR STEPS ...

The name of the game
(If you, like me, enjoy catching insights in a jar)
Is once again
Two Steps Forward One Back
And here's why choosing to play this game
Today, nets good use of common sense:
A powerful string of insights, which
Brightened my spirit, this morning
Flew into post 1468B, over night, and
Since insights, like fireflies, are likely to
Lighten a mood, which left on its own might
Linger too long upon trains of thought that
Darken your view (and mine) of what
The immediate future (which cannot be foretold) may
(Or may not) hold in store for you (or for me), now that
I've clearly expressed today's stream of consciousness
Tis time for me to exit stage left so as to free
Your think tank to ponder upon
This next insight-driven train of thought on your own:

If attitudes are to be defined as choices (which tend to
Change for better or worse) then when the going gets
Rough instead of shopping on line I'll do my best to
Switch tracks from dark to bright by reminding
My think tank to resuscitate serenity as
My spirit's primary attitude of choice ...
How bout you?

PS
If today's line of reasoning makes sense but you don't yet
Believe your think tank capable of choosing serenity over
Frustration then all you need do for right now is to
Proactively choose to retrace your steps so as to
Consider additional fireflies that swarmed brightly
Overnight, into Post 1468B ...
As for me, I'm about to call for an Uber in hopes of
Heartfully delivering a full cup of smiles to Will's brother, who
Has taken up residence (hopefully temporarily) in
An extended care facility, which has seen better days
(BTW ... please make note of the fact that
Not once have I intimated that serenity is easily maintained)

Oh!  One more thing ... you know what I said about
Switching tracks from shopping when the going gets rough?
Well, what's a girl to do when, upon leaving the care facility and
Choosing to ease my sadness concerning my brother-in-law's
Decline (which remains undiagnosed), I lie down with
My iPad only to find that Nordstrom has sent
A friendly email enticing my mind's eye to click onto
Their website just to browse through their semi annual sale?
I mean can you blame me if what I saw was so tempting as to
Suggest that Nordstrom's is not making my choice to
Switch tracks from 'shopping my cares away', easy peasy?
Seriously ... if you saw how reasonably priced that
Really cute pair of Cole Hann ballet flats (which
I've been coveting in exactly that shade of pewter) is, right now
I'm sure you'd agree that taking one leap of faith at a time in hopes of
Initiating change for the better by conscientiously maintaining
An attitude of serenity is more than enough for
My think tank to tackle, most especially, today, and
With that thought in mind, I'll reset my focus toward
Holding on to serenity while freeing my fingers to
Run all over my iPad's keyboard, and by golly
Guess what's happened since I chose to treat myself to
Those yummy shoes? My spirit's sadness is processing toward
Rebalancing by way of consciously choosing to
Sprinkle a bit of levity over circumstances so sad as to prove
Way beyond my control ... Ohmmm

As to offering Will's brother a cup brimming over with smiles?
Well, smiles were won all around while we enjoyed a series of
Videos, showcasung Ravi's two year old antics, and
The one that enticed my brother-in-law's smile to expand from
Tepid to spreading from ear to ear was the video of
Ravi, riding on her Papa Pony's back, exclaiming:
Giddy up, Papa!  Run! Run!
Every time I watch that video of Will on all fours, whinnying, much
To Ravi's delight, I can't help but LOL, myself! (In addition to
Family videos. we enjoyed photos (such as Ray in his cap and
Gown, graduating from kindergarten :)
Another smile was won while I handed my car-loving brother-in-law
Two of his favorite magazines:  Car and Driver being one, and
As for the other ... I couldn't name that publication if
 My life depended on it, but it doesn't, so that's another good thing
And finally, Will brought donuts (Dunkin, of course), and as
He and his brother each wolfed down at least two, smiles
Were exchanged, yet again ... so while spending time with
My brother-in-law of fifty-one years, my attitude of
Inner serenity was maintained ... then, upon settling myself on
My bed, my attitude, which was originally focused upon
Not shopping till I dropped ... changed ... Ohmmm ...

1468B LIBERATING THE FIXER TAKES MORE TIME THAN I'D ORIGINALLY SURMISED

Each time the conscious portion of my brain feels constipated with a train of thought that's sruggling to tunnel its way out of subconscious storage, a sensation of heaviness along my forehead heightens my awareness of my intuitive powers hunkering down until the spotlight of insight highlights a fear, which, ever since childhood, has blocked my sense of clarity from identifying an inner conflict that will continue to thwart my determination to achieve a heartfelt goal as long as my conscious awareness cannot name a self defeating attitude that disables my intelligence from meeting with success.

Example?
I'm still working to change my subconscious attitude, which has habitually held my think tank personally accountable for maintaining the safekeeping of everyone I love, suggesting my need to calm my frustration whenever an unresolved conflict, which proves beyond my control, arises anew.  In short, though I may not be able to resolve a conflict that proves beyond my control, I can work to modify my emotional reactiveness so as not toncatalyze anxiety to strike so high as to alert my survival instinct to pump an overproduction of adrenaline into my bloodstream, which in turn stimulates my overtaxed heart muscle to send out SOS signals of painfully stressed duress.

Each time I answer the phone to find that a loved one is experiencing serious symptoms of advancing age, I remind my connection to objectivity to maintain control over the fact that my reaction is not indicative of my need to tame preworry.  Two cousins, who had been dear friends, both several years younger than me, died during this past year.  And thus, while listening to additional loved ones express how their bodies are presently (though not prematurely) being ravaged by advancing age, do I remind myself to feel grateful that, thus far, Will and I are maintaining good health and enjoying our lives ... I mean if my dad enjoyed good health much more often than not for 87 years and my mom enjoyed good health, much more often than not, for 100 years, then I'll train my focus to concentrate on my good fortune to have my parents' genes, thus increasing my chances of enjoying the same hearty longevity as did they.  Will's mom enjoyed good health until her mid eighties, and his beloved dad's early demise in 1958 left his family struggling with grief over the fact that an antidote to parrot's fever had not yet been discovered, if succumbing to parrot's fever was a rarity, back then, it's pretty much unheard of today ... and with these thoughts running through my head, pre worry over Will's demise of mine is shifted from the front burner of my mind to pilot light status, where my concerns rightfully belong.  And on that upbeat note, I've readied my spirit to enjoy another healthy, sunny day, hot as it may be!

1468A AS MY SELF-DEFEATING FEAR OF REPRESSED ANGER HAS FULLY EMERGED, WHAT NOW?

Each time another unidentified fear, deeply repressed during my youth, begins to
Emerge from subconscious storage, I feel anxious but don't know why until
A conscious stream of insight-laden, intuitive thought, tunneling
Through my mind, shines its spotlight on my need to confront and
Reprocess a specific experience, which originally proved so frightening
And complex as to have left the traumatized brain of a terror-struck child
Feeling miserably confounded by the devastating effects that
Fate's unexpected twists and turns perpetrate upon life and love

As long as emotional trauma remains undiagnosed
The ill effects of PTSD take up permanent residence within
The subconscious portion of a mind that's lost its personal sense of safety

In my case, undiagnosed PTSD sentenced a kind hearted
Three year old child to a lifetime of misperceiving herself to be
So imperfect as to feel unworthy of love unless her
Vigilant attentiveness to fulfill her loved ones' every need
Met with success. (The mere hint of a frown cast in my direction
Served to arouse my unconscious, irrational fear of spending
The rest of my life alone, as if in solitary confinement)

This week, I gained the clarity to spy an inner conflict
Lurking darkly behind my line of self control ...
This inner conflict haunted my subconscious every time
Something aroused my sense of anger to crash into
My repressed fear of feeling unloved unless
My unwavering vigilance consistently fulfilled
My loved ones' desires, suggesting why my heart muscle
Constricted and my think tank felt stuck between
A rock and a hard place whenever my need to voice
The word ... No  ... was met with a frown

Uh ... wait a minute ... today's insight-driven train of thought is
Beginning to feel so complex as to alert my power of intuition to guide
My conscious awareness to publish today's insight, concerning
The disruptive nature of inner conflict, which causes
My voice to choke on fear-based-muscular-tension that constricts
My throat each time I feel need to say: No ... and with that thought in mind
Common sense suggests offering my processor down time to
Absorb today's bite-sized portion of reprocessed information more
Thoroughly than had been possible when I nsight-laden posts had
Run on and on and on ...

You see, by freeing my think tank to process today's brief stream of insights at
A relaxed pace throughout the day and overnight, I believe
The simplicity of this plan will feel so untaxing as to minimize
Mental weariness, thus re-energizing my spirit's smile to sparkle as naturally as
My sense of self-worth can clearly be seen shining serenely forth from
Deep within the well spring of my strong, sensitive, intelligent soul ... Ohhhm

1467V THANK GOODNESS FOR ADDITIONAL INSIGHTS SPOTLIGHTING MY SELF WORTH

Me thinks thee may fare well to
Serenely choose to
Review post 1467U ...
Why?  Well—
Surely thee knoweth the answer to
Today's question as well as doth moi

Mon Dieu, tis thoroughly self liberating to
Landed on my feet feeling well grounded on
The sunny side of the street after having taken so lengthy
A leap of intuitive faith, which this most profound growth spurt
Hath proved to be!  And as Spider-Man awaits
My light-hearted spirit says—ciao for now :)

1467U WEAK LINK CLEARLY SIGHTED, AT LAST!

Please note that my decision to define serenity as a non-combative attitude is in no way synonymous with my spirit's silent submission when undeserved, disrespectful assumptions slam angrily against my best character traits as tends to happen, from time to time.  Why?  Well, upon reflection, my fact checker has sound reason to hold the green-eyed monster accountable for verbal attacks, which, frankly, make little sense.

Furthermore, my decision to infuse my spirit with straight shots of serenity—most  especially at times when another person's explosive release of limbic tension suddenly runs wild—is not to be confused with meekly turning the other cheek in silent acquiescence each time a volley of mean-spirited verbiage is hurtled pointedly in my direction, as proved true in the past.

Once this change for the better in my attitude serves to secure my conscious connection to serenity, my sense of self-empowerment will ensure that, thanks to reprocessing sessions of EMDR therapy, no portion of my awareness will tap into yesteryear's self depreciating misperceptions, which had undermined my personal strengths by unmercifully needling my self worth.

Hey!  Something tells me that my intuitive decision to embrace serenity as my primary attitude of choice has directed insight's spotlight toward highlighting the weak link in my line of control.  I mean, it's one thing to withhold so much anger as to overwhelm my heart with adrenalin (Hello Takotasubo) and quite another to proactively channel my over-production of energy toward soothing my adversary's limbic reaction.

In short, today's burst of clarity has spotlighted three unresolved fears that have restricted my brain's pleasure center from freely embracing this fourth stage of life, which, for the most part, the aged (who tend to grieve prematurely and overlong in regards to inevitable, irretrievable loss), all too sadly fail to enjoy.

As to naming this trio of fears, well, the fact that today's intuitive train of thought has shone its spotlight upon a string of  insights, concerning my need to fortify the link connecting serenity with emotional objectivity, feels so profound as to alert common sense to suggest that your processor, like mine, has been offered more than enough food for thought upon which to ponder, for now.

So rather than pushing forward, let's offer our think tanks the gift of patience needed to relax and rest easy, overnight, in hopes of awakening to embrace a fully re-energized sense of mental readiness to re-charge our eagerness to mine for additional subconscious treasure, which, though buried deep inside, proves more easily assessable each time you and I choose to meet at the corner of Courage and Humility, where personal growth spurts challenge a person's self assured mental awareness to take intuitive leaps of faith, each of which frees a newly reconstructed sense of self worth to smartly direct every step that we take while continuing to carve out our very own existential paths, where self determination is more than likely to influence our fate, which is not as beyond our control as we might think.

BTW, did I think to mention that today's train of intuitive thought alerted my conscious mind to awaken with need to pen this post at 5AM?  And now that my mindful sense of self direction feels ready to send this intuitive train of thought into cyberspace, my think tank feels so relaxed as to freely choose to snuggle back down under our summer quilt and catch up on more shut eye before my spirit reawakens to greet another hot sunny day with a fully re-energized smile regardless of how high the temperature, outside, may rise as proved true as recently as yesterday when the intensity of the heat topped out at a sweltering, mind boggling 118 degrees Fahrenheit!

Good thing my strength of spirit feels newly inspired to entice my expansive mindset to tolerate all kinds of heat, most especially when my sense of objectivity finds itself sitting undeservedly in the hot seat where my dignity and veracity no longer feel so defensively hot blooded as to burn my connection to logic to a crisp when grilled ... and with that positive change in my attitude clearly stated, let's imagine corny 'old' me feeling cool as a cucumber!

Why cool as a cucumber?
Bloomsbury International defines 'cool as a cucumber as:  Internally calm, relaxed and in control of your emotions. This phrase may have originated from the fact that even in hot weather, the inside of cucumbers are approximately 20 degrees cooler than the outside air.

1467T WHAT DOES SERENITY MEAN ... TO ME?

What does serenity mean to me—today?
I've decided to consider serenity an attitude and as such
Serenity, like joy, proves to be an inside job, suggesting that
During times of emotional upheaval it's up to me to self soothe
My spirit's frustration until my current state of mind feels so
Securely rebalanced as to consistently and mindfully embrace
My character as being worthy of love and respect no matter
How many words of exaggerated insult may be aimed angrily
Directly at my bullet proof vest, and having worked to develop
The ability to listen to tantrums with a non-combative attitude of
Calm permeating my sense of wholeness, my attitude
Actually proves agile at switching tracks on the spot from listening
Defensively to listening with a serene sense of self confidence intact while
Hopefully, my well practiced intuitive powers gain insight into
The main source of a person's underlying pain, which having been expressed
As an emotional eruption of limbic anger, has need to lash out before
That person's adversarial attitude feels so thoroughly spent as to
Calm down at least enough to begin to participate in solution-seeking
Discussions that make sound use of common sense, all around ...

And thus does my choice to calmly embrace an attitude of
Personal serenity ensure that my survival instinct will not
Make matters worse by lashing back in defense of my honor, suggesting that
My Line of Control must be fortified by serenity in order to quell
Any response on my part that might otherwise cause
My positively focused hopes and dreams to go up in
A hot air balloon, which may be more likely to pop if
Over blown, defensive reactiveness on both sides usurps control over
The logical portion of two thought processing systems, simultaneously, leaving
Neither one so clear headed as to land us both safely in neutral territory ...

Thank goodness, my think tank has come to acknowledge its
Potential to identify, change and maintain attitudes that
Prove so non-defensive as to free my brain's cognetive awareness to
Focus primarily upon choosing a relaxed stance in regard to
My body language and verbiage in hopes of maintaining my dignity so
Naturally as to gracefully resuscitate a heartfelt sense of
Mutually respectful camaraderie, which, upon smoothing ruffled feathers
Cools down sudden eruptions of hot blooded, negatively focused
Attitudes by way of responding to each misperception cast in
My direction so effortlessly, compassionately and tenderly as to
Soothe limbic reactions until both sides have successfully mollified
Adversarial attacks so as to rebalance a mutually respectful sense of
Decorum, which serves to diminish floods of limbic reactiveness, little by little ...

Though I must admit that maintaining a mindful sense of
Spiritual serenity under fire is not yet easy, I have no doubt that
A person's matured sense of self worth can grow toward
Enticing change for the better to win over disrespect much more often than
Proves true when both sides choose to take sword in hand, fencing
Back and forth, mean spiritedly, and having concluded that
Our world is far too messy for serenity to be fleeting
My intuitive powers have begun to sense my spirit's need to
Coax my mind to consciously call forth serenity to flow freely from
Within the depths of my soul, and on that upbeat note
I'll place my iPad aside in favor of absorbing the relaxing nature of
Rhe Sonoran Desert's sunlit, blue sky as Will, David and I drive home from
Our cabin retreat, sheltered 'neath the forest's tall, green pines, where
To our family's good fortune, we enjoyed this lengthy
Fourth of July weekend away from the sweltering crowd ...

Summer 2017

1467S SERENITY INDEPENDENCE LIBERATION

Serenity prayer:
God grant me the wisdom to change the things I can
The courage to accept the things I can't change
And (the humility to seek)
The wisdom necessary
To know the difference between the two

As the classic nature of today's prayer conjoins with
Yesterday's intuitive train of thought, I wonder if
My desire to infuse my spirit with serenity proves
As much an inside job as has been true of joy, and
With that change in my attitude, simply stated, I wish you
A joyful, serene, self liberating Fourth of July

1467R SERENITY

Once I'd dispatched yesterday's post into cyberspace
Guess whose spirit felt need to pay mine a visit?
Maurice Chevalier's, which, having witnessed
My lament (concerning The Donald's bullish rants) from on high
Decided that two spirits, putting their minds to good use
May be better than one, and as such, his spirit swooped
Down to inspire my spirit's loss of serenity to hold
My self awareness accountable for turning my frown around by
Reminding the conscious portion of my brain to live in the moment and
Then release mental frustration by way of plugging my processor into
Chevalier's good natured spirit, which upon recharging my own, inspires
My conscious awareness to remember this classic, universal fact of life:
What's past is past and the future remains unknown

Next thing I knew, Chavalier's spirit tossed a bouncing ball in the air, and
Lo and behold, my spirit's light hearted smile re-appeared as
These fanciful lyrics danced merrily through the forefront of my mind:
Thank Heaven For Little Girls—They grow up in the most delightful way ...
And since I've been experiencing sound reason to absorb that deeper truth as
My own good luck charm, I've decided to consciously remind myself of
How often Lady Luck has chosen to offer my spirit sound reason to smile thus
Enticing my processor to grow ever more practiced at placing
Fear-based frustration in time out in favor of consciously placing
Positively focused trains of thought in charge of my current state of mind, and
SinceI can feel fear-based irritation, along with Trump's deplorably senseless
Tweets, being sent to sit in time out, my intuitive agility at switching
Mental tracks serves to refocus my mind's eye upon sound reason for
My spirit to enjoy our family's shared delight as we all absorb
The sunny innocence with which Ravi's spirit instinctively
Melts each of our hearts in similar fashion to the grace with which
Flowers, rooted in fertile soil, naturally turn their lovely faces up toward
Captivating the warmth of the sun, and each time I remember to conscientiously
Choose to embrace an attitude that creates a healthy balance between
Sunshine and rain doth my 'technicolored' garden blossom and thrive

Fortunately, today's insight-driven train of thought offers
My conscious awareness sound reason to rejoice over
The classic nature of yet another fact of life:
Though serenity is often fleeting
Joy, being an inside job, can feel inspired to stick around as long as
Mindfulness remembers to consciously encourage
The positively focused side of our attitudes to sustain the good natured
High spirited sense of self, which proves so sensible as to
Follow this next bouncing ball ...

1467 Q INCHING THAT RUBBER TREE FORWARD LITTLE BY LITTLE

Resultant of a string of insights, which managed to slip into
Post 1467 P, overnight, I respect my processor for coming up with
A creative approach to express my sense of outrage, which
For the most part, has remained suppressed behind
My well practiced line of self control, and if you ask me to
Spell out the main source of my anger, I'd say:  T-R-U-M-P
Why?  Because of the deplorable underbelly of
Mean spirited attitudes, which have been unleashed to run wild in
The streets ever since The Donald's supporters began to rally round
The soapbox upon which stands a commander-and-chief whose
Insulting rants, body language and facial expressions model such
Despicable emotional reactiveness as to grow more deplorable than
My processor can stomach and thus do I switch channels as soon as
His presence appears on the TV ... and each time
Our First Lady comes to mind, I can't help but contemplate
The sadness that lurks behind her dispirited smiles, which
Makes me wonder if, on the other side of Melania's wall of denial
Her defense system chose cyber bullying as her personal cause in hopes of
Indirectly shining irony's spotlight upon the man whom she'd vowed to
Have and to hold through (thick and thin—think thick-headed, thinly masked
Deeply insulting, insecure rants) though when push came to shove
We watched her hand refuse to hold his ... and now that
Today's train of thought has served to satisfy my processor's need to
Release inner tension by venting pent up frustration, all I have left to say is ...
Alas!  Serenity!  Wherefore art thou?

PS
I can't wait for the divorce
Think not Melania and The Donald
Think The Donald and the dignity of The Oval Office