36 THANK YOU!

I wish you could have seen my spirit ignite when I sat down to post and saw a response in a comment box from a new friend!  I'm certain my eyes lit up, because that's a sure sign of emotion surging forth from within.  Sparkle expresses happiness, joyfulness, appreciation, sincerity, accomplishment ... I could go on and on.  In short, facial expressions and body language express our reactions more often, more openly and thus more honestly than words.
Check out the comment box following the post entitled: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ...TALK TO ME
In truth, I was thrilled to hear from YOU!  I was starting to feel like a stalker!  So thank you for responding to my plea.  Your reply made my spirit smile!  :-)


While reading your thoughts, I pictured myself at a younger age—busier than I'd ever imagined.  I pictured my adorable children, growing up, from one stage to the next, developing into loving, responsible adults.  [No genders until each one pops out in stories yet to unfold.]  :-)


I pictured their father, hard at work in support of our active household.  Leaving at sunrise, arriving home after sunset.  Kids freshly bathed in P.J.s ready for stories and bed.  Eager for Daddy's attention when he walked in the door.


Picture me at this earlier stage of life.  Picture my mother-in-law visiting for ten days.  Here's what she'd said at the end of her stay: Annie, I'm exhausted watching how fast you move and all you do.  Then she asked:  Is your clothes washer broken, today?  When I answered, no—why do you ask?  She smiled and said:  It's not running.  It's always running! ... And so was I.


So busy, keeping up with life.
Learning, teaching, writing, raising my family
No time to stop and rest
No time for diving into the deep end of my mind.
I didn't need to stop and smell the roses.
I inhaled the fragrance of living the good life
Each time one of my children raced by—
Unless they were running to take a time out!
Yesterday, I'd ministered to the needs of others
At times, from dawn to dawn
Today, I dive into Walden Pond
Ponder insights into life
And write—at times till dawn.
Balance does not mean
Accomplishing every goal, at one time
Balance means developing the patience
And self control to tame mayhem
And work through conflicts
One step at a time
If balance is the rule of thumb
For enjoying healthy relationships
During each stage of life
Join our Sanity Saving Sessions
In which we learn and laugh the meaning of
Everything in it's own good time  :-)


Looking back, I don't think of exhaustion.
Memories of raising my rambunctious roses
Turn yesterday's frowns into smiles
Today, I smile to think of hair raising moments
Which had brought me close to tears.
Today, tears of laughter accompany toilet training stories
Which didn't tickle my funny bone at that earlier time
My children popped out one by one
What if they'd popped out in bunches, like grapes!
Today, I lead a group of parents raising triplets.
My hat is off to them!
We discuss sanity, clarity, quick hugs and team work.


The person who'd organized our group found out she was expecting a fourth little joy while her triplets were infants!  How did that happen?  Ask Mother Nature.  When our group first came together, her children were three and four and four and four years old.  Imagine our group organizer, standing in a parking lot behind her van in which four babes in four car seats wait to be retrieved.  Imagine the back door of the van opening;  imagine my friend assembling, filling, and pushing a stroller, resembling a train! Toot toot said the little engine that could!  Today, with four young teens at home, our group's organizer is completing her master's in psych.  Kudos, my dear friend!  Kudos to your husband for providing support in many aspects of your family’s life.  At times a family resembles a train, chugging along the track, in need of one engineer, stoking the fires of the locomotive, which pulls its cars forward, while another engineer energizes a second locomotive, which, coupled in reverse behind the caboose, pushes forward from the rear.


The difference between trains and families is this:
Whereas  a Train remains a Train
And Locomotives do not change
And each train car remains the same
Children are always in the process
Of growing, changing, uncoupling
And developing into self-energizing, independent adults
Locomotives, one and all


As to my new friend, I identify with every feeling expressed in your response.  And I'll keep your thoughts in mind while I write:  I'll remember you have young children.  I'll remember that insight inspires you to think deep.  I'll not forget your hope to offer up the best of yourself.  Kudos to you, too!


For many years adults have taught children to beware of Stranger Danger.  And to develop respect private body parts, as well.  Now, from preschool on up, parents, teachers, and clergy need to teach children to ask privately for help; to empower each child to stand up and declare:

ABC—NO bullies for ME!!! 

And that's the truth ...

You bet your sweet bippy!
Looking forward to hearing from new friends and old, again and again!
YOUR friend,
Annie
P.S.
As I'd like to identify one new friend from another, I hope you'll consider signing your comments with any name that tickles your fancy.
With time, I'll clue you in as to why I chose Annie.
J

35 P.S.

I'd really love to know what YOU think!

J

34 MINE YOUR MIND FOR GOLD

Common sense suggests that subconscious dark spots will not lighten up until flashes of insight highlight self defeating patterns that we've yet to see in ourselves.


For example:
Do you have a clue as to who manipulates you to meet their needs?
Do you have a clue as to how you manipulate others to meet your needs?
Do you have a clue as to how subtle manipulation can be?
Do you have a clue as to when undeserved guilt is doled out?
Do you have a clue as to when undeserved guilt invades peace of mind?


Or how about this:
What if we feel bullied when loved ones shed light on aspects of REALITY that we're afraid to see?  (Direct your think tank toward family interventions, organized to rescue loved ones from themselves.)


Once I got a clue as to how complex the concept of bullying can be, I chose to write about the effect that brainwashing had on my psyche.


The fact that I've struck gold in the past inspires me to believe that my thought processor may be closing in on the insight, which will illuminate a dark spot that has haunted the shadows of my mind, over long.  If you'd like to see how I exhume ghosts, which go bump in the night, then put on your miner's hat and tunnel forth with me.


As bullying does not end when adulthood begins, I hope to encourage you to gain insight into how best to offer each other respect and support rather than indiscriminately tossing put downs around.

As a teacher, I believe in education.
As a teacher of effective communications, I hope you'll pass my blog forward from friend to friend via Face book, Twitter, lunches, cocktails, dinner parties, ... or however thoughts and ideas are exchanged ...


If you believe in the THE POWER OF ONE ...
If you believe in the power of grass roots movements ...
If you believe in THE POWER OF ONE connecting with the powers of MANY
One person
One family
One community at a time—then we can connect the dots until our grass roots movement inspires community spirit to circle the globe.

We can do no great things ... Only small things with great love.  Mother Teresa

Just saw BILLY ELLIOT with a group of dear friends.  Each dance inspires the spirit to ascend toward independence.  Each song rings out with the heartfelt need for a meeting of the minds between father and son, while their entire community stands testament to the fact that everyone faces inevitable challenges, which accompany change.  This family's story represents timeless needs and universal values.  Let freedom from oppressive repression ring for all!  As you can see, each message in the play ignited my passion to respond openly courageously—respectfully and compassionately—under fire.
Your friend,
:-)Annie

33 KNOW THYSELF

What if you don't know yourself as well as you think?
What if you don't really know others, either?

What if spots of subconscious self depreciation darken some of our perceptions while white washing others?


What may result if several hot spots of low self esteem go unrecognized?


What if hot spots of low self esteem create negative attitudes, which darken our perceptions until a series of misperceptions is mistaken for facts?


What if we can't tell when our negative attitudes push loved ones away?


What if we can't differentiate between what we can or cannot change?

What if we can't tell when we push others too far?

What if we don't know why we're running in circles, getting no where fast?

What might be your fate and mine when we can't accept irrevocable changes that we'd not freely choose for ourselves?  (chronic illness, injury, aging—death?)

What if our confidantes or counselors can't see the light at the end of the tunnel any more than we can?  (Been there, done that, no more three blind mice for me, thank you very much.)


What if denial blinds us to why our nearest and dearest divide into separate camps?


What if all of these questions are interrelated?


If any portion of this train of thought hits a nerve then might it be time to place your ego aside so the intelligent side of your brain can work earnestly at unearthing hot spots of subconscious pain in need of healing?


Or will you allow the fearful portion of your ego to control your mind, causing you to languish in denial, where misperception darkens your loved ones mistakes while whitewashing your own?


How do you handle those times when contradicting 'shoulds' (mixed messages) tear your mind to pieces?  (i.e. Speak up for yourself.  If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.  Give your children roots.  Bless your children's wings)

When you feel stuck in a confusing maze with no end in sight, some of your 'shoulds' may be in need of review.

Whereas perceptions of right or wrong change with the times—deeper truths remain timeless.


What is one to do when mixed messages mess with our minds?


As for me, I welcome visits from sages, like Socrates.


If some aspect of life casts a black cloud over your spirit, over long, I hope my friend, Socrates, will swoop down from on high to visit you as he does me.

32 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ... TALK TO ME

Though it is great to know where you are, I'd love to know more!


Seriously ...

Won't you tell me something about yourself?  Please?  :-)

31 FOURTEEN NATIONS! SO FAR SO GOOD!

U.S.A. Malaysia

Denmark

Russia

Brazil

Canada

United Kingdom

Finland Mars

Poland

Tanzania India Australia Fiji INSIGHT INTO GROWTH: Insecure: More reason to blame More reason to fight End result of defensiveness War Self assured: More reasonable More likely to work through conflict End result of self confidence Peace Throughout this wide, wide world: Too much war Too little peace Unless—Self confident leadership eliminates blame It's elementary, my friends. The most sophisticated people I know—  inside they are all children.  Jim Henson

30 IN AWE AGAIN—FOURTEEN COUNTRIES!

Today I awoke with insight streaming through my mind.
I love when that happens!!  :-)

Today I know why yesterday's sensations of awe popped out of my memory.

I experience sensations of awe each time a new country appears on the map, pointing out where HAVE YOU GOT A CLUE?  OR IS YOUR BRAIN STILL FOOLING YOU? is being read.


Fourteen countries, so far ...
Wow!


'Unbelieeebbbable!'


Unbelievable?  Why?  Because knowing myself (?) I'm surprised at the unbelievable amount of courage I need to muster before I can share personal details with so many people I don't know.


Good thing I choose to dive into the deep and retrieve portions of my 'voice', which I'd no clue of having repressed when fear stunted the development of the self confident side of my mind!


Lots of I's in those sentences.
Not a you to be found.
Why?
Because—


No one
Was to blame for my fear
Other than
The fickle finger of fate


As my teenager suggested
I had lots to learn
About developing
My arrested self-esteem


As

Each of us harbors

Subconscious vulnerabilities

That we're afraid to see

I didn't begin to grow self aware
Until I felt worthwhile enough
To identify traits, which made up
The sum of my parts!


Each time unidentified insecurities
Eat at my peace of mind
Today
I remind myself of these facts:


Problems precede introspection
Introspection precedes insight
Insight precedes comprehension
Comprehension precedes self confident growth


At those times when I 'forget' to remember those facts
And my negative attitude sucks me into a maze

Where I lose sight of my positively focused path

I ask a positively focused person for help


Once I've redirected myself toward positive focus
I work patiently until resolution of inner conflict is mine
Why?
Because


Attitude is everything
And the only person
I can change is
Myself


So—if
Positive focus precedes conflict resolution

And conflict resolution transforms survivors into thrivers.
Then I'd rather thrive than survive—how'bout you?


:-) Annie

29 GONNA WASH THAT BULLY RIGHT OUT OF MY MIND

Makes sense that insecurity, brainwashed into the mind, must be brainwashed out.

Once again ...

Repetition is not redundant when the goal is retention.

When Annie grows up and has kids of her own, she'll coach each one to go toe to toe with any bully who attempts to brainwash self confidence out of them.

Brainwashing—closet cleaning—remodeling traits and thus, self esteem—

It's all the same to me.

:-)

28 OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

Upon awakening, today, this memory floated to the surface of my mind:


I'm standing in my kitchen with an open magazine in hand, staring in disbelief at my byline.


I'm in awe of the fact that a publisher had approached my lectern to ask if I could express my point of view in writing.


Though facilitating seminars at professional conferences came naturally to me, I 'see myself' as a speaker, not a writer.  As I do not 'see myself' as a writer, I'm awe struck at having inspired this journalist to surmise that her readers might seriously consider thoughts, which had shaped up inside my mind.  (Who says everything we think makes sense?)


So here I stand, staring at this first article (which, over time, will have become a column), expressing my sense of awe aloud in the presence of my oldest child.


Upon witnessing my disbelief, this insight pops out of my teen ager's mouth:

Mom, I think everything you've learned to raise my self esteem is rubbing off on to you, too.

Until that moment, I'd not had a clue of having worked to re-model myself!


As minds open and views expand, perceptions may change ...

"Verrry eeen-ter-es-ting!"
(Arte Johnson)

27 CHEERLEADERS WELCOME

Making headway toward unlocking the block
Not working to unlock the memory
Working to release a hot spot of pain


As there's a reason for everything
Here's the reason for repetition:
Repetition is not redundant when the goal is retention.


Extracting a many layered tattoo
Not an easy task to do
Without patience and support


Help wanted
Cheerleaders welcome
Naysayers need not apply
:-)

26 LIFE IS A 500 PIECE PUZZLE

How is life like a 500 piece puzzle?

While working to solve life's mysteries

It's often a challenge to piece clues, together

Even so, with patience, each piece slides into place

Eventually, as bigger pictures appear
Comprehension deepens inner peace

How is life unlike a 500 piece puzzle?

Life does not come neatly packed inside a box

With a completed picture on the top

In truth life's bigger picture is not complete

Until we exhale our very last breaths

Now replace life with love and repeat this stanza.

If love and life remain in a state of flux

Then both confound as well as astound

And knowing this to be true

I collect yesterday's clues
In hopes of resolving
Whatever puzzles me, today.

If life is the end all of reality shows

And if everything seems to be unisex, today

Then what if he's singing in the tower
'Some day my princess will come'
While she quests toward solving puzzles
By tunneling forth?


Common sense suggests that
Once his vows and her vows connect on solid ground
Commitment strengthens all around
As Alan Sues and Lily Tomlin might say:
You bet your sweet bippy!
And that's the truth—thhuuppptt! 

25 TUNNELING IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING STUCK IN THE DARK

As there's a reason for everything, private eyes collect clues when mysteries need to be solved.


If mental blocks are mysteries locked inside the subconscious portion of the mind, then who must be the private eye, assembling clues, until that block unlocks?


The sleuth must be the conscious portion of a person's mind.


When I sense an emotional block, clouding my sense of clarity, today, the conscious portion of my mind tunnels toward my subconscious in hopes of detecting a 'secret' that Mother Nature thought it best for me to forget.


When working to solve a problem, overlong, these question arise:  Am I'm heading down the wrong path?  How long will I circle round inside a maze without a glimmer of light in sight?  Whose wall am I trying to break through?  Someone else's?  Or one of my own?  When attempts to break through the wall of another heightens frustration, attempts to discover another wall of my own heightens my chance for success.


Story by story, you'll watch me work toward achieving goals beyond my reach.  Though my focus may shift from forging ahead, to backing up, to turning right or left in order to avoid hitting wall after wall—
I keep my eye on this goal:  Know thyself.


At those times when inner conflict is messing with my mind, my think tank reacts like a traffic jam during a blizzard.


Let's say inner conflict creates a traffic jam inside your head, which causes your decision making skills to freeze.  How long will you choose to stay stuck inside your stalled vehicle, honking your horn to no avail?  At what point will you consciously choose to make better use of your brain in hopes of getting yourself to a warm, secure place instead of wringing your hands worriedly over who's going to save you from freezing to death, all alone?


During those decades when denial had blinded me to the excess baggage that I'd lugged forward through each stage of life, I'd no clue that my clarity was impaired.  Upon awakening to the fact that clarity is drugged by denial, I was shocked to learn that—
My ability to thrive depends on exhuming 'secrets' too painful to bear as a child.


During recent years I've been reading about the brain and asking positively focused minds to help me unlock mental blocks.  That was not always so.  For quite a while I'd looked to sleuths for guidance and support, who'd proved to be more confused than me.


As this is not the first mental block that my think tank has unlocked, instinct suggests that I stay tuned to this wave length until the bully, haunting me, is exorcised, once and for all.


Oh yes, please note that I'm conscious of this fact:  Some of what I say may inspire you to tune in to my quest while other thoughts may turn you off.  Either way, I'm eager to know what's on your mind. :-) Annie 

24 THE TOWER, THE TUNNEL, THE GHOUL IN THE DUNGEON OF FEAR

The brain is a complex instrument that experiences technical difficulties for many reasons.  When the brain fails to function in an organized fashion, life (and love) become frustrating.  My thought processor has been on hiatus for the past several days, because I've been in pain. Not emotional pain.   Physical pain.

All kinds of pain create static in the brain.

The louder the static the more likely it is that clarity will be problematic.


As this blog delves into my life, we'll reach a story where I'll be in intensive care.  That experience made me consciously aware of taking good care of my body.  Even so, I tend to push it too far.  I'm sharing this info, so you'll know why I may not pop up on your screen, from time to time.


Though I've not been up to writing, I have been thinking. And when I feel up to snuff, you may be surprised at visions, concerning towers and tunnels, which have been occupying my mind.


In terms of tunneling, I've been thinking about what I'd say to a dear friend who was trying, unsuccessfully, to pull a painful memory out of her mind.  I'd say: Be kind to yourself, my friend.  Be patient.  Let each layer of protection fall away.


I'd say:  Know that you can not press your defense system to tear into the deepest layers of an experience so painful that a fortess was constructed around it's core.


I'd say:  Feel confident that upon tunneling through this fortress in a caring manner this painful moment will be expressed without fear.


I'd say:  Have faith that during this tunneling process, you'll unearth the key to unlocking your freedom.


I'd say:  Appreciate the fact that Mother Nature provides you with a defense system that does not allow subterranean pain to escape prematurely.


I'd say:  Appreciate the fact that Father Time provides bodyguards, who patiently stand lookout atop your fortress's tower.


I'd say:  Though your work is cut out for you, know that your quest will meet with success.  And here, my friend, is why that's true:


Common sense suggests that a mind teeming with subconscious static is a road block for clarity of thought.  So if Mother Nature's tunnel/fortress/protective plan serves to shield her young, this self-imposed road block thwarts you from seeing certain aspects of the adult you've become.


Common sense suggests that a child's suit of armor must feel constricting to an adult.  As each post brings us closer to the core of yesteryear's trauma, ancient ghouls, named Angst, Fear, Fury, and Pain will be dislodged from your mind.  (I know this to be true, because this is not the first suit of armor I've worked to dismantle.  Once again, you know nothing of my life before the age of ten.)


If that sounds like bad news not to worry, because here's the good: I'm practiced at patiently coaxing my subconscious to dismantle fortresses until forgotten memories release.  And each time I tunnel toward tossing fear out on it's ear, I achieve another heartfelt goal.


Whew!  See what I mean about having my work cut out for me?  Thank goodness I'm practiced at taking this on!  Thank goodness I know that reclaiming peace of mind is worth the work that lies ahead.


Throughout my adult life, I've reset my inner compass toward the positively focused portion of my mind. Each time I place my faith in the concepts of work, courage, patience, readiness, and compassion, a missing key is found.


If positive attitude and timing are everything in terms of attaining clarity then it stands to reason that negativity hinders personal growth.  So if you're stuck in a 'bad' place, it may be time to cast out a demon, spinning around, creating static, inside your mind.


Ah! What a relief it is to be as patient with myself as I'd be with a friend. Thank goodness my thought processor is well-practiced at patience when unmet needs pressure me to hurry a process that requires a clear and peaceful state of mind.


Though I'd love to bypass this work with one wave of a magic wand (Poof! Insecurity be gone!), alas, fairy godmothers are no where to be seen.  So if I hope to tread upon the path of Reality's Quest For Personal Growth, it's back to the closet for me.


Oh yes ... one more thought before I run out of words. (Ha!)  A questing mind is a curious mind.  And just as you may look forward to a new post from me, I look forward to questions and comments from you.  :-)