NEW YEAR’S EVE 2020

💖💃🏻🕺🏼🥂🍾🥂🏡 🎉🎈🎊💖

If you ask what makes me sad

I’ll reply—

This maddening year is soon to end while

Super spreader events continue to be planned.

If you ask what makes me glad

I’ll reply—

Thus far, Covid has left

My family and friends unscathed

If you ask if that fact alone is reason enough to celebrate New Year’s Eve feeling blessed while quarantined at home, I’ll happily reply with a heartfelt—YES!!  YES!!  YES!!

And so, as we choose to celebrate LIFE at home while the bright incandescence of twinkling stars and fairy dust are all a swirl throughout the night sky, Will and I plan to wish a very happy HEALTHY New Year to one and all while we grow ever more mindful of the fact that classic vices, common to everyone, such as jealousy and greediness, must not take precedence over the heartfelt depths of brotherhood’s love of human LIFE —L’CHAIM!

💖💃🏻🕺🏼🥂🍾🥂🏡 🎉🎈🎊💖

JUST TAKE A WALK—IF ONLY

So Bryce, David’s Little Brother, who lives in LA, was advising me to enjoy a change of scenery by leaving the house to take walks with Will.  The content of his caring reply to my original text came as no surprise, based in my belief that the upbeat nature of my spirit offers loved ones the false impression of imagining the Annie they’ve come to know with the weakened convalescent that reality still proves me to be, and thus do I hope my reply to Bryce encouraged David’s not-so-Little-Brother to hit the brakes until his misperception and my current stage of recovery match:

I’d love to go for walks with Will except for this road block—I still get so short of breath, and being that there’s little warning as to when a sudden drop in my blood pressure will happen, chairs need to be close by, because once light-headedness hits, my eyes can’t focus, my knees turn to jelly and my brain, spinning round like a top inside my head, knows to sit me down ASAP before my body’s collapse hits the ground.

Generally speaking, my energy remains so low that I’ve still not unpacked certain bags in the aftermath of our return from Houston, last August, which is quite unlike me—this particular recovery is no easy thing—as in one step forward, three back.

On the plus side, being that I tire so quickly and completely, cabin fever has not yet set in, making quarantine easier to endure.  At some point, every day, pain, wheezing, utter lack of energy or some combination of all three sees me wondering if I’ll ever feel well, and with the passage of time, it’s more of a challenge to remind myself that having survived the miseries of this past year and a half, my current attitude would be wise to refocus on feeling grateful for being alive; on the other hand, I’ve come face to face, once again, with the depths of my soul’s need to thrive, matching my spirit’s lust to fully enjoy every aspect of life, as would a fully animated, healthy child, no matter my current age, and since this post suggests my focus being forward bound, I’m beginning to see everything penned above in a positive light as if my spirit, having tired of recuperating at a turtle’s pace, may be enticing my mind to somehow pick up the pace as though my body is signaling its readiness to acknowledge the next stage of recovery opening a door—and if, perchance, the unseen powers above are hovering close by, please grant my fervent wish that today’s intuitive train of thought is less than fanciful, more in keeping with insight filtering from within the depths of my subconscious, speaking ever more clearly via my fingertips—to me—so as to encourage my conscious mind to feel hopeful of today’s musings being akin to deeper truth, through and through—seriously, five months ago, today, I could do nothing for myself.  Nothing.  Every second of every minute felt a trial by fire.  Thank goodness I’ve come this far forward, day by day—

Ahhhh!  With heartfelt help from Bryce, I feel so much better...🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

Let’s consider Bryce’s reply-

One day at a time mom💙💙 I pray to god that you thrive during this faze of your recovery. I know with faith, he didn’t allow you to successfully get through serious surgery just for you to come home. Time is an illusion to offer mankind some form of understanding as to how the complexity of this physical world is operating at 💯%. I want you to truly prosper and thrive even on the days when you feel your lowest💙 Love you much💙💙

Following Bryce’s 22 year old gift of wisdom, I replied—

Wow, Bryce, you’re guiding me to see the light during this seemingly endless dark time the same way I encourage loved ones to brighten and expand the narrowness of their viewpoints, your positive attitude inspiring my spirit’s gratitude to fly straight toward your smart

heart on the wings of so much love!

🙋🏻‍♀️❤️❌⭕️

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE SELF DESTRUCTION

I ask myself this question, every day—What else does trump’s🤬 mean-minded need for revenge plan to do in hopes of destroying our nation’s well being before he’s tossed out of the White House, which will be in serious need of fumigating before Biden moves in ... the fact that our nation sits by feeling powerless to act in our own behalf infuriates and astounds me, as passive inaction is complicit with self destruction—our constitution is in serious need of revision (we are still in need of one more state to ratify the fact that women are equal to men🤷🏻‍♀️).

How can sanity accept the fact that we remain disempowered to stop this criminal maniac, who is more a repulsive traitor than any other in our nation’s history from exacerbating mayhem, every day—that is what I find way beyond intelligent comprehension.  And to make matters worse, don’t even get me started on the passive aggressive nature of the U. S. Senate, which has been in dire need of disbanding for decades—change for the better dictates a constitutional amendment limiting term in office—now, how is that to be accomplished unless senators prove willing to point guns at themselves?  We’re not just in a pickle, here, folks ... We’re swimming through a tightly capped jar of pickles with brine that’s over our heads!    👩🏻😤

PS

In need of venting, today, before choosing to throw open the drapes, ready to bid welcome to another sunny day in the great southwest.

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

EXPERIENCING THE GIFT OF RECEIVING LOVE ...

EXPERIENCING THE GIFT OF RECEIVING LOVE ...

Penned on Sunday, posted today—

Sooo—here we are, getting ready to cheer the Seahawks onto victory—and though while quarantining, we can’t watch, side by side, in the same living room with our dear friends from Seattle, who winter in Phoenix, each year, our spirits are cheering along with theirs, today.

I didn’t feel well, over the weekend—actually exhausted from having done too much over several days that had passed before—which, during normal times, would have amounted to next to nothing but proved too robust for my low energy level to quickly recoup.  In fact, Saturday felt like my worst hangover ever banging non stop against my brain —as if this teetotaler has had lots of experience regaining control over that—NOT!

Along with brain banging, my eyelids felt at half mast, on Saturday, while Steven and Ravi lunched on our patio; even so, our grand daughter’s animated chattiness saw my cheeks aching from smiling until she and her Daddy, an inseparable pair, left for home while I hit the bed, sleeping through the first half of the Cardinal game, followed by wishing I’d slept through the second half, as well.  Only good part was Zooming throughout the game with our sons and 6 year old Ravi, whose self assured antics seem to convey her surety that football is causing a nuisance in the background since our family is zooming specifically to play with her—so cute!  lol!  Yesterday, she remained involved with us for the entire three hours (upon awakening from my nap, hearing her sweet voice from my bed is probably all the encouragement I’d needed to get myself into the living room.)☺️

After the game, we enjoyed FT with Barry’s family, and I think our boys (Ray 9&Tony 10) loved seeing Gramma Annie wearing the cheetah pj’s, slippers and robe they chose as my Chanukah present while Papa’s feet felt cozy in the slippers they chose for him.

The blush highlighting Ray’s cheeks with pleasure each time his glance caught the necklace he chose for me around my neck was heartwarming to see.

Thank goodness for the innocent spirits of loving children, which inspire our spirits’ smiles to overcome trying times that could otherwise feel overwhelming.

Thank goodness for Andi’s pumpkin bread, taffy apples and mochas.  My sister, Sharon’s selection of our favorite Fannie Mae candies and our dear friend, Shainie’s, delicious chicken soup and light as air matzoh balls, which hit the spot for dinner, last night, after which we polished off the last crumbs of her yummy apple cake, as well.  Three heartfelt offerings of the many, which continue to ring our front door bell, week after week ... Thank you, everyone for your gifts of love, which mean more to us than words can convey. 

The fact that loving family and treasured friends continue to nourish our spirits after more than a year of illness continues to lift our spirits with depths of appreciation for our loved ones, no doubt about that—and now, considering so many darkened aspects of life that see our nation (and the world at large) having need to push past congressmen whose passive aggressive silence runs interference with our advancement through the tunnel so as to gain sight of the light beckoning us to not give up the good fight, let’s gauge our focus upon re-igniting communal hope for change for the better as the New Year leaves 2020 behind on the historical time line while each day goes by until 2021, awaiting your arrival and mine, shines the light at the end of the tunnel of darkness upon the endurance of democratic principles throughout the USA, which empowered our election of Biden to eclipse trump’s corrupt administration, at long last...🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

THE STORY OF FOREVER AND EVER

  THE STORY OF FOREVER❤️

Good morning, dear friends,

Wherever you are, I hope the sun is shining overhead, encouraging you ready yourself to engage with the heroic act of disempowering modern day pirates, who have stolen the identity of a dear friend of mine on the dark web, igniting her need to regain control over the privacy of her personal sense of safety.  My friend, knowing my musings are meant to quell my fear and frustration at every interaction we encounter with the dark side of human nature, which leaves us feeling helpless to counter these attacks without devoting precious time and energy, better spent enjoying loved ones, being that reality begs us to grow ever more aware of this fact—the more candles, lighting our cakes, the shorter the sweet spots of life get, so it’s best to excite the bright side of life whenever possible, even if a few rules must be bent to freely breathe life into our passionate nature in ways never experienced before, suggesting that cyber pirates steal away much more than our identities—they rob us of precious time  ... 

Though fear of being stalked from cyberspace has caused all of us to grow so cautious as to continually look over our shoulders, bad guys, getting away with crimes against humanity, have grown ever more blatantly  prevalent, during these past several decades, but nothing has exacerbated our frustrations as significantly as these past four years, and though the threatening, ghostlike presence of Evil stalking us, everywhere we go, won’t change for the better with Biden at the helm, here is what will change once trump has run out of time to do the best of his worst:  rather than freely encouraging such malignant behavior to grow ever more boldly expansive from the top, the marshal we’ve most recently elected to wear the badge of courage has honorably pledged to head the posse that’s raring to drive the bad guys, many recently pardoned, out of Dodge City, also known as D.C. m

(I finally have a glimmer of an idea as to where my passion for writing comes from—this is my defense system’s intuitive ploy to mine the subconscious portion of my mind for proactive ways to consciously transform repressed fear of loss of control into the happy endings I crave by casting myself—as well as you, too—into heroes, who win over evil by plotting out how to summon the bad guys to emerge from the dark side, thus clearly challenging the good guys to lasso our host of creative strengths, empowering your intelligence and mine to ready ourselves to stand the test of meeting Evil, glaring straight at us forcing us to confront a face off in the middle of the street, townies gathering round, cheering aloud, once the good guys, feeling self empowered, draw so quickly that, struck by lightening, the bad guys, groveling on the ground, are seen sniveling, begging for mercy, guns still holstered as GOOD wins over evil, yet again, at which time, the sleuth 🕵️‍♂️, wearing the bright shiny 🌟 of justice, gathers her beloved into a heartfelt embrace before both turn to face the most glorious sunset where, personal safety restored for all concerned, free both to saunter off, arm in arm, into a future so rosy that both feel as liberated as a pair of larks, spirits, uncared, soaring overhead, until the pair, landing in a warm, safe, sunny spot, choose to dwell where the winds of winter and blood suckers of the Internet🧛🏼‍♀️ can never darken their lives, again.  And with the graceful drop of the curtain, you and I leave the theater, hearts entertwined, feeling deeply reassured that the stars of our production, having developed the super powers necessary to win control over the dark side of life, are bound to live happily ever after as is true of their deeply loved spouses, children, grandkids, descendants and the families of everyone we love...

                                 THE END

And now, with today’s intuitive train of thought providing my mind with a peaceful rest station, at last, I’ll arise to embrace yet another day in quarantine, as hopefully, so will the heroic side of you, which like me, will choose to go about my current life, as safely masked as was The Lone Ranger, which in truth, describes us, one and all, excepting for those who choose to ride shotgun alongside of the masked law man, who brought to justice the bad guys who defied laws set in place to save the people from ruin as must become true throughout the USA, right now, suggesting that every Lone Ranger is in need of a trusted friend as personified by Tonto (Batman and Robin, Butch and Sundance, Abbot and Castello, Gleason and Carney, Caesar and Coco, Deano and Jerry, Rowan and Martin, Belushi and Akroyd, and Annie. Laurie, Curly and Will Parker proved to be, over the long run of the life they chose to share except for times when an overwhelming conundrum interfered for a spell, as happened each time Tommy Smothers, smoldering at his brother, Dick, couldn’t help but slice through their folk song’s duet by shouting out loud—Mom loved you better than me!  You got a dog!  I got a chicken!

Last year, several friends of my friend were scammed, and earlier this year, so was a member of my extended family, and to his misfortune, hundreds of dollars were gone in a flash; then afterward, believe it or not, he actually spoke with the scammer who, calling from a foreign land, heckled him so despicably that my relative was left fuming, holding the phone, feeling more furiously frustrated by the outrageously odious nature of that turn of events than by the fact that he’d been robbed!  The truth being more astounding than fiction, yet again!

Bottom line—no matter the story, happy endings are alway invested with humility, courage, love, honor, truth and mutual respect winning out over the dark side of human nature before a story reaches THE END ...

Written with love,

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

HOLIDAY GRATITUDE

🎉 🕎 🎄🥰🎅🏼🔯 💝

AS THE SPIRIT OF XMAS IS MEANT TO ENCOURAGES MINDFULNESS OF FREELY EMBRACING AN ATTITUDE OF LOVING KINDNESS WHEREVER WE GO, I feel inspired to share today’s train of thought with everyone who hopes to embody a healthy sense of heartfelt generosity that grows ever more aware of our communal need to share the very air we breathe ... peaceably.

And so, wrapped within our holiday gift basket for you who are celebrating Christmas, today, is this loving hope—may your little corner of the world be filled with good health, loving kindness, prosperity and the bright sunny warmth of peace of mind, all of which depends upon the depths of your need and mine to transform hopes into realities, requiring our working together toward creating change for the better unless you still believe in Santa granting wishes to good girls and boys while I, who believe in the magic of the loving mind, fall somewhere between childlike fantasy and realistic maturity, sometimes leaning more toward one side of my nature, sometimes toward the other based in my having started out as a cockeyed optimist as had been true of Nellie Forbush, whose heart—having crashed, head on into the prejudicial side of human nature—ultimately landed happily on her feet, being that she, who’d served, during wartime, in the military on an island in the South Pacific, could not wash her love for Emile and his dark skinned children out of her hair  ...

Beginning in October 2019, when my diagnosis proved life threatening, I was strongly advised to cocoon months before the spread of Covid saw the world at large in need of quarantine.

Over these past several weeks, as my lack of energy following life saving surgery began to refuel, family and friends, one couple at a time, asked to relax around our patio table, while Will, David and I sit inside, right next to our Arcadia Door, and thus do we all enjoy each other’s presence via cell phones on speaker so as to hear each other as clearly as we enjoy breathing in each other’s smiles.

Other than hospitals, I’ve not been in direct contact with anyone other than Will, David, doctors, nurses and hospital personnel for over a year—–so as you can imagine, my arm is super ready to accept the Covid vaccine ASAP.

On the other hand, the depths of my gratitude to Will and David, whose smiles continue to meet my every need, buoys my spirit along with evening calls from Barry’s family in CA, patio visits with Steven’s family, FT calls, emails, and texts from loved ones, all around the country, with small surprises left at our front door along with dinners, baked goods, flowers, mochas, yummy pumpkin bread, Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory taffy apples covered with peanuts, Fannie Mae chocolates, get well cards, books, hand written poetry—all of which continues to surprise us, warming our hearts to the max, being that these gifts of love continue to lift our spirits long after we’d have thought that our personal trials had become yesterday’s news as seen through the eyes of others facing trying times of their own.  To my good fortune, the opposite proves true each time I have reason to consider the endless generosity of my family and friends.  And thus is my spirit’s smile enhanced, as if we all remain proactively engaged within a merry heartfelt dance, which, seemingly is lasting throughout each next welcome stage of my lengthy recovery during the aftermath of a small portion of my heart, a large portion of my lung and a major vein, returning deoxygenated blood to one ventricle, having been surgically removed at a world renown cancer center in Houston.

During Chanukah, we celebrated festively with all of the traditional trimmings as Eric and Stessa enjoyed play dates with Gramma Annie and Papa Will at our patio table, and though we’d wished to invite additional family and friends as in years past, that decision would have opposed safety measures set in place in hopes of participating with those who hold themselves personally accountable for curbing the spread of Covid so that life can, once again, flow forth naturally rather than our being fearful of exacerbating the death count, which sadly has not yet peaked..

And speaking of hope, a dear friend who works to exhaustion (helping clients to reduce anxiety during these trying times) while considering her own retirement, thanked me for offering her encouragement in relation to readiness to embrace highly personal leaps of faith to which I replied— Glad you see what I said as encouragement, which proves to be love’s most nourishing ingredient as encouragement re-energizes hope, which, once absorbed, eases the active mind to consider steps toward creating change for the better, if not today then tomorrow, which is just round the bend. I remember Will’s anxiety while contemplating his retirement from surgery, which upon taking that leap, my husband rejoiced over awakening to peace of mind, every day, because accountability for the physical well being of patients was no longer preying heavily on his mind, and whenever he was asked to assist a colleague, after having scrubbed in, he’d realized how much he’d NOT missed doing surgery though that had been a worry before he came to enjoy the concept of free time of which he’d had so little, throughout his entire adult life, which is why the mere thought of inviting a change that huge had initially caused spikes of anxiety to strike until he found that filling his free time with grandkids, golf, novels, golf, crossword puzzles, golf, late to rise, late to bed (unless the availability of an early tee time with golf buddies was to be had, offered a sense of peaceful repose, which he’d never experienced, ever before).  In short, Will’s retirement saw my hard working husband gain the freedom to do WHATEVER HE WANTED WHENEVER HE WANTED, and as he’d NEVER contemplated that possibility for himself, upon becoming the master of his time, 24/7, my husband felt as relaxed as if he’d been gifted with life in heaven right here on earth amidst everyone he loved—and what I ask (once threat of Covid has passed) could feel better than a change as self determined as that!

And just as with our small, unusual celebration of Chanukah, last week, Will and I hope your Xmas treats your precious families to enjoying festive memories filled with love, laughter and lots of fun, followed by all of us welcoming in the New Year with hopes for good health and prosperity inclusive of more folks than ever before, and as the power of intuition opens your eyes and mine to gaining insight into how best to transform hope for change for the better into the manifestation of reality awaiting our arrival just round the bend that’s when this wondrous world of ours, wherever you and yours happen to dwell, will offer us sound reason, as proves true of any ancient institution, to freely participate in a thorough house cleaning of our closed mindsets in order to remodel narrow opinions which are mistakenly seen as facts, as has been needed for quite some time, providing everyone on the planet with cause for concern, being that none of us can predict which aspects of change will be to our liking and which will not, being that no one in the history of the world, part 1 enjoyed everything that made our neighbor’s life hum like a well tuned violin in the practiced hand of a duly acclaimed virtuoso—even so, though a virtuoso we may never be, it’s quite likely that the concert ready musician learned to play chopsticks before mastering Beethoven.🥰  

And so, as 2020 faces retirement, I want to thank all of you for being there for us during these trying times just as, hopefully, you and I will leap to our feet to tap dance in joyous celebration each time a right of passage feels immeasurably enriched when experienced with treasured family and deeply valued friends—and until we feel free to rejoice by dancing together, again, for real, please remain safe, stay well, and wherever within this wondrous world that we are learning to share ever more generously, let’s open our hearts so as to feel the depths of our capacity to offer and receive love, one and all!

❤️Annie and Will💃🏻🕺🏼

ANGLE OF REPOSE AND PROOF OF ANGELS EXISTING ON PLANET EARTH

Today, a person on Facebook expressed frustration with people being judgmental when someone has a legitimate reason for not getting the Covid vaccine. She believes she should not feel obligated to share all of her medical history to explain her reason to others, and with respect for her opinion, I’d like to offer up another option that deepens my sense of peace.

Having changed her name, I offered a gentle response to someone I’ve yet to meet in hopes of soothing her frustration as seen below:

Hi Linda,  In respectful response to your post—my name is Heidi, and I hope you’ll consider a reaction that calms my frustration immensely whenever I’m feeling misjudged.

Though I’d once felt defensive, here’s why I’ve chosen to retire that automatic reaction in favor of consciously embracing an attitude of patience associated with brotherhood before I respond.  You see, each time I choose to kindly and briefly make others aware of an affliction that cannot be seen at a glance, my gentle reply inspires judgement to transform into compassionate contemplation, culminating in a sense of friendliness springing forth so naturally on both sides as to connect two hearts within a caring state of repose for this reason: Whenever I choose to respond with heartfelt kindness, peace of mind is mine, and peace of mind calls forth my smile, and as smiles prove more contagious than most people realize, the preservation of my personal sense of peace empowers me to melt judgement calls proactively by way of expanding the mindset of another, most every time. And if sparking a mutual sense of understanding does not take place, I leave the conversation with dignity, self respect and peace of mind intact.🙋🏻‍♀️🥰 

Another person’s reply to the original post (penned by an ER doc in hopes of educating the general populous as to why vaccination proves vital) addressed irritation upon receiving calls from grieving relatives of patients who had succumbed to Covid, inspired me to reply—

Hi Melanie, I hope you won’t mind my suggesting that people calling about the death of loved ones hope to inspire you to help to slow this pandemic from taking more lives based in how many millions of people ignore the wisdom of scientists inclusive of doctors, who chose to study medicine, day and night, for many years while others of their age were partying rather than stretching their brains to absorb vast amounts of scientific facts, which prove necessary to preserve the good health of millions of people, throughout the world, every day.

As a twenty two year old bride, I marveled at the grueling hours my husband, a young medical student, felt driven to endure, eyes glued to medical tomes, every night, extending years of education through additional years of residency to ensure that his patients would receive only the very best of care in hopes of his thirst for knowledge proving capable of curing his patients, felled by illness, whose desire to enjoy a long, healthy life was as heartfelt as yours and mine. On the rare occasion when a patient succumbed to death, or an amputation proved necessary to save a child’s life, my husband would walk into our home, his spirit heavy at the end of each of those grievous days, his face looking haggard and gray, so deeply had this man of medicine exhausted his mental energies in hopes of enabling his patients to extend and enjoy their lives or save their limbs from strains of illness, more numerous than you and can possibly imagine  ... so I hope you’ll reconsider the calls you receive and the pleas of exhausted medical professionals, being that, over these last 54 years of marriage, I have personally witnessed at least one true life-saving angel, whose personal calling drew my boyfriend, during college, toward offering his utmost best, day in and day out, throughout each stage of our lives, in hopes of saving human lives however possible on planet Earth.

PS—In addition to sharing my life with a surgeon on a mission, I am also called Aunt Annie by the ER doc mentioned above.

In addition to publishing papers professionally, this ER physician writes of his professional knowledge and personal experiences concerning Covid on Facebook, pretty much, every day, in hopes of inspiring thousands of strangers to see him as a friend whose opinions concerning our need to work together in hopes of saving millions of lives are based in scientific facts that prove heartfelt in nature..

In addition to attending to the needs of others in the ER for many hours, daily, during this difficult time of Covid, my nephew’s wife, the mother of his four precious children, has just endured several months of chemo with surgery scheduled, next month, after her body recovers from infusions of harsh, life saving meds, discovered in labs (just as with Covid vaccines), so that my precious niece can continue to guide her children toward adulthood neath their mother’s loving wing) ...

So, please, let’s all consider the vital importance of following the advice of thousands of physicians and nurses and hospital staff, who are fully committed to offer each of us sound reason to be proactively well informed about preserving our good health in hopes of extending the length of our lives.

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie