4LET’S TAKE AN OLD FASHIONED WALK😊

After texting a progress report to a small slice of my extended family concerning my having walked, back and forth, along the expanse of my patio, lost in conversation with David for about 15 minutes, several replied that I was making huge advances, and here is my reply to their positively focused perceptions—

I’m definitely considering your positive perceptions since I feel like the tortoise, moving forward, slow and steady, with patience intact while keeping my sights trained on achieving a long range goal, one small step at a time, which works for me, especially since the pandemic continues to require all of us to remain tucked safely inside our shells.

On the other hand, each time I send out an update, it’s highly likely that my loved ones are receiving a slanted view based in my need to veil repressed fears from my processor’s sense of clarity for this reason.  I’m coughing.  A lot.  And hurting.  A lot.  And if I am boldly inviting deeper truth to filter, intuitively, from my subconscious into the conscious portion of my processor, today, I’ll admit to worrying about the possibility of my recovery—stalling, because mustering the drive to re-energize my spirit’s natural capacity to thrive seems so far beyond my current sights as to feel deeply concerning.

Bottom line, over these past few days, I’ve not felt nearly as well as denial would like me to believe ... thank goodness we’re awaiting the results of two studies followed by a telephonic appointment with my oncologist, later in the day.

So please, while you continue to observe me doing everything possible to safeguard my life, I respectfully implore you to take every precaution as dictated by science to maintain your good health during this most recent spike of Covid, nationwide—seriously, how many millions of adults have not yet developed into ‘grown ups’, being that all we have to do to decrease our rising death rate and save our economy from tanking completely is to socially distance and mask up for a matter of weeks thus stopping stubbornness from serving as the killing machine that has left hundreds of thousands of families to mourn the devastating loss of loved ones, whose chairs will be empty for Chanukah snd Christmas just as was true of those whose unnecessary demise left thousands upon thousands of hearts steeped within the depths of sorrow hanging heavy over their Passover and Easter holiday tables as loved ones went missing beginning in January of this year, leading doctors and scientists to say, thousands of times since March—

Covid is a virus, and though trump would have you believe otherwise, viruses, as with masks, are not political.  Viruses, being physical, as passed through the air from person to person.

As to loss of jobs creating economic woes, what will it take to enlighten our populous with insight concerning the fact that cities in which people are masked would not go into lockdown mode ... and with today’s train of common sense in mind, I surely hope Biden’s administration will gift the people of The United States of America with the answer to this next vital question ... what will it take for all to mask up so as to participate in the solution that will heal our nation of Covid just as the people in Europe had once faced need to  unite, so determined was leadership to brainstorm, together in order to figure out what had been in need of simple change to overcome The Plague?

Currently, science has gained insight into what’s in need of wide spread change, so our present dilemma concerning how best to get people off of the trump train, which leads toward over crowded hospitals, to favor the boarding of super jets heading straight toward the destination where common sense awaits to heal our ailing nation of physical illness and pending economic depression via the arrival of change for the better concerning your loved ones’ decisions (and mine) to sweep political falsehoods based in greed out of our minds so as to tune into scientific guidelines that make sense of nonsense concerning the pandemic nature of Covid, at last—because—doing nothing more than awaiting a vaccine equates with mourning the loss of thousands of lives of people, akin to you and me, over these next several months, which must pass before we learn who will que up after first responders have been immunized ...

👩🏻Annie

1 HEALING TOWARD PHYSICALLY THRIVING ONE STEP AT A TIME

In keeping with the theme of yesterday’s post, spotlighting today’s popular trend of young women’s preference of theatrical make up, I posted my perceptions on Facebook concerning losing my hair from head to brow to lash to toe while my medical team and I worked to save my life, and based in our success, thus far, which challenged my host of inner strengths to up its game, throughout every 24 hour day, here I am in the photo, below (snapped earlier this week), pretty much make up free except for a touch of blush highlighting cheeks snd lips, so happy to be alive that I believe the camera’s lens caught me all aglow as though ‘love actually’ had tapped into the depths of my soul.

And as such, the next portion of this post will offer up the text, I sent to thank my 9 year old  grandson, Ray, for his gift of love (as seen adorning my neck in the photo below) which he chose for me, all by himself, followed by my Facebook post conveying my being the fortunate recipient of Ray’s tenderness, after which you’ll find several of the many comments I received from family and friends.

Text from me to Ray—

Hi Ray, I loved FaceTiming with you, last night, when my heart filled with happiness each time my glance fell upon my beautiful bracelet and necklace adorning my wrist and neck.  I love and miss your generous heart soooo much, Ray, and once a vaccination runs Covid out of town, what a colossal celebration of love our entire family will enjoy, together!

❤️Gramma Heidi

Having FaceTimed with Ray so that his sensitivity could kvell with pleasure to see me enjoying both of his gifts, I expressed my happiness on Facebook via this post—

What a happy surprise I received in the mail from my nine year old grandson, Ray, who chose this beautiful necklace along with a matching bracelet, both of which I love!  Thank you, Ray!  Your surprises, both of which I’m wearing, right now, make me very happy as does your heartfelt generosity SO much so that I’m sending this photo so you can see how your gifts of love make me feel all aglow, which is why I plan to wear both, very often, so every time one or the other catches my eye, the depths of our love for each other will ignite my spirit’s smile!

Having posted the photo of the necklace clasped around my neck on Facebook, many friends referenced Ray’s sensitivity and my newly hatched pewter pixie hair-do, inspiring me to offer you a sampling of comments received:

Comments—

Barry to Annie—Ray was very excited to get you a gift and then very particular in finding a necklace to match the bracelet. It took Ray 3 months to find the right one.

Annie to Barry—When it comes to expressing the depths of one’s love with a heart overflowing with generosity and sensitivity, we’ve described Ray’s giving nature to a tee!❤️

Beth to Annie—I think your hair looks awesome. I wish mine would be that color when it goes natural but no luck here. And the pixie look really highlights your happy face.

. 

(Unfortunately, new format of Blogger is stubbornly refusing to reveal photo of necklace adorning my neck, above which we’d see me all aglow, sporting my newly hatched, pewter pixie)

Annie to Beth— Thank you, Beth😊 Every morning, upon awakening, I glance in the mirror in readiness to get my grooming routine underway only to feel startled (think Groundhog Day) so as to exclaim, yet again—Hey!  Someone made off with my long dark hair, leaving me with someone else’s pewter pixie, during the night!  (At first, I was happy to see bits of fuzz popping out of my scalp, here and there.  Then, I rejoiced to see said pixie staring back, at me.  Now, I await the passage of time until Covid stops hovering overhead, like an angry dark cloud, so this pewter colored cap, covering my head, is, once again, as long, dark and sleek as had been true (with a little help from my hair stylist) before Chemo stole off with my crowning glory, during the dark of night, last December, while I was hospitalized, fast asleep.

Aha!  An attitude of NGU meets with success, yet again!

👵🏻🥰🙋🏻‍♀️Gramma Annie

INSIGHT INTO COMMON SENSE OFTEN HOVERS OVERHEAD

 Thanks to the popularity of influencers like the over-the-top crop of Kardashians, most  young women, today, are all about theatrical makeup, suggesting it’s likely that their daughters will be pretty much make up free... leaving me to ask—when does the happy medium of ‘less is more’ appear on the historical time line, creating a balance between too much and not enough—or am I expecting too much of human nature, which, seemingly swings from pole to pole for this reason—for the most part, insight into deeper truths concerning the repetitive behaviors of the human condition, which prove classic, universal and timeless, hover just above most of our heads.  And having experienced how often people jump to conclusions rather than offering the benefit of the doubt, I find it essential to muster patience with those who think negatively of me so as to not pull out all of my hair, and speaking from past experience (and having spent most of this last year bald), I can attest to this insight, as well:  More people than not cannot rechannel their deeply ingrained, negatively focused attitudes without lots of positively focused help, so rather than pulling out my hair for nothing, I consciously choose to up my level of patience, repeatedly, knowing that working toward creating change for the better takes more time than most of us would believe—on the other hand, I prefer being compared to the tortoise that, given time, is highly likely to accomplish its goals than is true of the hair—uh—hare.  Why?

 Because unlike those who are heading toward failure by getting sidetracked or giving up on achieving long range goals, I differentiate long range goals, accomplished in a step by step fashion from those attained by taking huge leaps of faith.  You see—if we stop believing in our innate sense of goal-based creativity then why should anyone else (with the exception of our moms).continue to believe that we, like the tortoise, are heading toward success at our own pace—step by step by step 😊

And now that I sense my think tank’s readiness to pull today’s train of thought into the rest-stop, directly ahead,let’s remember to never give up working to differentiate between heartfelt,long-haul goals, which fall into the range of eventually achievable and short range goals that are accomplished one leap of faith at a time. 

🙋🏻‍♀️😉

PS

May I respectfully suggest reading the article concerning Alicia Keyes’s reasoning for giving up make up.  For the most part, I agree, though a touch of blush and sweep of mascara continue to please me. (Honestly—I have no idea where these rhymes come from; they just appear on my screen as though all on their own. lol!😄

As to the Kardashian clan, they embody a host of traits so shallow that I’d encourage Ravi, who at six, loves face paint, not to emulate.😊

SUNDAY, A DAY CLOSER TO BIDEN’S INAUGURATION

Sooo—no surprise that trump recanted his barely-there non-concession statement of several days ago.

Likening trump to all megalomaniacs, no one expects him to go quietly into the night with dignity in sight.  And since he’s more likely to go out with a bang, the truth of the matter suggests his being carried out of The Oval Office, kicking and tweeting—

I AM PRESIDENT!  I AM PRESIDENT! BIDEN IS NOT PRESIDENT ELECT, BECAUSE I AM PRESIDENT FOREVER!  SO, FOREVER YOU MUST TREAT ME WITH RESPECT THOUGH I WILL NEVER RETURN THE FAVOR, BECAUSE I AM KING OF THE HILL, AND TIS TIME TO RALLY MY TROOPS TO ATTACK DEMOCRATIC PRINCIPLES THUS PERPETUATING MY TAKE OVER OF THE UN-UNITED  STATES OF trump ...

My take:

mr trump—the time has come to admit to yourself that that’s not the way your four year reign of terror is about to end—please exit stage right.  Gag will be removed once The White House is out of sight ...

And as that’s my vision of ‘the end’ once Jan. 20th rolls into D.C., gag will be kept handy, knowing trump’s history of—It's ALL about ME!

As for now, tis time for my family to Zoom Sunday NFL on TV—suggestive of lots of pandemic inner tension being released.  So, the question of the moment proves to be—Where were my ear plugs last seen?

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

OBSERVATION IS DECEPTIVE WHEN SELF-AWARENESS LACKS INSIGHT CONCERNING DEPTH PERCEPTION

 Will, David, Andi, Michael and I just arrived home after caravanning in three vehicles, balloons flying and horns a honking past Celina and Steven’s house in celebration of Ravi’s sixth birthday, and clearly, Ravi loved our surprise as much as her gramma loved planning a way for our hearts, which are happily intertwined, to be safely involved.  Photos to follow once Steven sends them to me🙋🏻‍♀️❤️🎂😊

On another note—Over these past twenty (plus) years my sister has become involved in a wide variety of groups, which is what I chose for myself during much younger years while teaching and raising three bright and active boys before my inner drive to write was fueled by subconscious need to grow ever more reflectively introspective about each stage of my life in order to understand, more deeply, how one personal experience led directly to the next as emotional complexity continued to layer up until my need to compartmentalize each experience offered me sound reason to actually develop into the person I’d thought myself to be.  And thank goodness, my desire to write whatever I’ve gained in insight has re-channeled my love of teaching in person toward expressing life lessons that prove classic, via my blog, which is being read in over eighty nations, throughout the world.🥰

And so, upon reflection, as my sister and I have continued to age, our lives have evolved in ways that are actually not as dissimilar as might appear on the surface at first glance.

Once again, I can’t help but wonder when my brain will freely release true stories, beginning in high school, where I’d paused at the precipice of my personal face-off with heart/lung cancer ...

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

WITH YOUR ATTITUDE OF PATIENCE AND MINE INTACT, TOMORROW HAS FINALLY BECOME TODAY—HOORAY!

Tis the day after Thanksgiving, and hopefully, having pocketed trump’s non-concession statement acknowledging Biden’s win, you and I can feel free (at last) to post in celebration of our President Elect (in whom we’ll place our trust for sound reason), who, having been admitted into the inner sanctum, will be briefed over these next several weeks, and what a relief it is to officially embrace Biden’s empowerment as the people’s President Elect rather than waiting (and wasting) additional weeks before his Covid task force gets underway with immediacy following his inauguration on Jan. 20, 2021.

And having clarified my personal relief—let’s consider this next train of thought more seriously than ever before—if we’ve felt the immoral whip of trump’s forked tongue lashing away at the truth, quickening our fearful sense of breathlessness as if awaiting a necktie party’s noose tightening around our necks if we failed to follow the dictator’s bidding, over these last four years, then imagine the complexity of emotions experienced by African American descendants of slaves, who have feared being unjustly policed for close to three centuries after their ancestry had been caught, chained and cast, utterly terrified, into the dark, dank hold of slave ships bound for a nation, touting a constitution, which clearly states all (?) men are born free and equal—except for those who, being dark of skin, were considered 2/3rds human for voting purposes—while women and children, treated as chattel, were not regarded highly enough to be mentioned with respect for our existence, at all—in fact the amendment declaring women to be the equal of men has yet to be ratified in all 50 states, even today.  And don’t get me started on anti Semitic uprisings or trump’s negatively focused take on Muslims and Hispanics, leading me to ask ...

How many God loving creatures are actually hypocrites in some way that denial denies as being true?  The answer, my friends, is one and all, which is inclusive of you and me, too, and for that reason let’s switch from lapses in self awareness to seeing both sides of human nature staring back so clearly from within our own mirrors that we can’t, in good conscience, hate others for being as imperfectly human as each of us proves to be—though, when brotherhood and our justice system are in question, the brutal attitudes, demonstrated by trump’s clones (who, like the great pretender, care naught for any life but their own) are terrifying to say the least!

And then, we have the self righteous, whose morals lapse until Sunday rolls around when the good intentions of righteous folk, concerning brotherhood and justice, are left behind in churches after services are over, and as cars pull away, best intentions of all too many self righteous congregants remain discarded and forgotten, piling up under pews until hymn books are opened, next Sunday, yet again.  And again.  And with no attitudinal change for the better accompanying most right wingers into their homes, Rep. senators top the list of naughties handed to Santa as Xmas approaches in the weeks to come—with this heartfelt possibility—if you will please join us in admitting Joe Biden’s administration to be legit, thus honoring what’s good for our nation over party politics whenever a bill, protecting our populous from harm, has need to be passed into law then with a hearty HO HO HO! Santa may switch your name to the good guys’ list before leaping into his sleigh filled with presents on Xmas Eve as Rudolph, in the lead, lights the night sky with promises of better days to come, and on that positive note, I’ll pick up my soapbox, and feeling content with having had my say, bid you a safely masked, pensively peaceful, socially distanced, good day.

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie❤️🇺🇸

THANKFULNESS AND RELIEF OFTEN GO HAND IN HAND

When Van Jones expressed his personal reaction via national TV in the aftermath of the Biden/Harris win, I teared up, as well—

CNN— "I can't breathe". “That wasn't just George Floyd. That was a lot of people who felt they couldn't breathe. Every day, you're waking up you're getting these tweets and you don't know. And you're going to the store and people who have been afraid to show their racism have been getting nastier and nastier to you ... This is a big deal for us just to be able to get some peace and to have a chance for a reset."

A chance for Van to show his sons that mutual respect, truth, character, equality and justice matter. 

Why?  Because our president and all of those who are expected to protect us from harm must not be cowards or racists.

(CNN)Dr. Shirlee Xie took care of five patients with Covid-19 the last time she worked at her Minneapolis hospital.

One recovered and was discharged after a week-long stay in the hospital. Two patients, including a 41-year-old woman terrified of dying alone, were sent home on hospice care, which is medical care provided to those with terminal illnesses.

The final two patients were a married couple in their 80s who hadn't been apart in 62 years. They were put in a room together, where the husband watched his wife slip away.

"The wife got sicker and sicker and she died in the hospital, and her husband had to watch her die, and so he had to see that fear and that grief," Dr. Xie said, wiping away tears, in an interview Tuesday with CNN's John Berman and Alisyn Camerota on "New Day."

"I don't think you can describe how that feels to us as their caretakers to have to see that kind of suffering from patients. You know, that was me in one day at the hospital. This is, all of my colleagues are experiencing this at every hospital across Minnesota, and I think it's just really hard to comprehend that weight."

Why?

Because our current president has 70,000,000 Americans believing that the Covid death threat is a ‘trumped up’ lie, spread by Democrats to undermine the economy—

Why?

Because he who deals from the bottom of the deck believes everyone else does, too—noth’in new about projection when referencing trump—however, this IS new—never before have we elected a president who couldn’t care less how many people die of a virus on his watch as long as he saves face, because his insecurity is so great that he can never own up to any of his mistakes.

And so, of many changes for which I give thanks on this day of Thanksgiving here are three—the fact that we’re soon to follow the lead of a president who values the well-being of our lives as he does his own.

The fact that I am on this side of heart/lung surgery.

 And the fact that our family harmonizes melodically, and though we can’t gather at Steven’s, today, to celebrate Thanksgiving and Ravi’s sixth birthday, we all have sound reason to shout out Hip Hip Hooray!

Why?

Well, since we can’t party, together, at Celina and Steven’s house, Steven is driving Ravi to our house to celebrate with Gramma, Papa and Uncle Scott (who chose to quarantined inside his apartment, alone, for 14 days and tested negative for Covid twice before driving directly home to quarantine with us) and though we three will be inside, looking out at our patio where Steven plans to BBQ red hots and all the fixings for lunch—this meal, being one of the birthday girl’s all time favorites, we’ll enjoy being with family—safely and creatively!

Then—as Andi and Michael plan to stop by our patio after we zoom with Barry’s family (in CA) and my sister’s family (in IL), today may shape up to be a Thanksgiving offering each of our hearts lots to celebrate—together—after all is said and done!  And I hope that, upon reflection, the same proves true of your Thanksgiving celebration of gratitude, too.

😍👩🏻Annie