2018—HEAD ON COLLISION Part 4p

Good thing I’ve decided to consciously minimize frustration from
Coiling up deep within by accepting my need for
Personal improvement graciously. because no matter how many times
I’ve edited the previous post for mistakes
More appear in 3D with each reading, and not until
I feel satisfied that the writing clearly expresses
The complex nature of the train of thought, penned by
The insight-driven, intuitive portion of my think tank, will
The teacher who resides inside my mind permit
My think tank to pass ‘Go’ so as to free my power of intuition to
Pen the next post—you see, correcting my mistakes offers
Frustration, which, naturally layers up within the depths of
My mind, to be released in a productive (and thus healthy) manner
And hot on the heels of that insight, here comes another:
Each time my focus turns toward self-improvement, I can
Gift my retired ‘Fixer’ with something to do that
Proves to be within my control to achieve, and that
Change for the better reduces frustration in need of release, which
At an earlier time, my defense system had repressed from
My conscious awareness, and having aired both insights for
Your consideration, I’ll free my ‘fixer’, whose eagerness to
Achieve a goal that proves to be mine to accomplish, from
Chomping at the bit to get to work, and having clarified
My next plan of action, here are your choices as I see it:
If you choose to review the post in question as is, please
Be my guest, or if you choose to await its repair then
Rest assured that I’ll offer a sign once those repairs have
Met with my satisfaction, or perhaps, you’ve ‘had it’ with
That train of thought and rather than choosing to
Review it, again, you can be seen drumming your fingers in
Wait for me to ‘get on with it’ and go forward in which case
Intuition guides me to suggest that you may be more in need of
Reviewing the post in question than your conscious mind
May realize, and I say that for this reason:
With all due respect for your intelligence, drumming of fingers
Indicates frustration layering up, and the whole point of
My having penned that last post was to encourage
Your common sense to reconsider this fact:
Everyone is in need of releasing repressed frustration rather than
Unconsciously adding to it until that proverbial last straw
Lands in your lap, causing your emotional Line of Control to
Collapse before your processor can muster the self-awareness to
Get thee to time out to cool down ASAP! (so as to reorganize
Your brain, which has need to blend logic with emotion before
You can brainstorm in a balanced, patient and thus
Effective manner toward solution seeking that restores peace of mind
Just saying ...

2018—HEAD ON COLLISION Part 4Ohhh (so this is where I’ve been heading, all along ...)

Earlier in the week, I made a conscious decision to
Appreciate the bigger picture of my life, daily—Why?
So as to calm my retired fixer's frustration at
Being unable to 'fix' the frequency of
Another person's emotional outbursts, which prove
So out of sync with reality as to eventually get on my nerves for
This reason:  A mind that proves utterly disorganized is certain to
Interfere, much too often, with the peaceful undertakings and
Simple pleasures of a group of people who have worked to gain
The insight necessary to enjoy life by harmonizing as a whole, and
As I cannot 'fix' this person, I have need to remind myself how
Patiently my think tank worked when my offspring were tots to create
The peaceful emotional environment that served everyone in
Our immediate family well, and with that achievement in mind do I
Plan to retain my gracious state of mind so as to focus primarily—not on
Platitudes but rather on positive attitudes that I've worked to
Absorb so as not to worsen any situation that's always been
Beyond my fixer's control to repair, and acknowledging
The frequency with which positivity continues to influence
My personal choices, I plan to refocus my strength of spirit toward
Rising up (most especially upon those occasions when
The outburst of another feels need to 'put me down') so as to
Calmly, clearly, patiently and respectfully choose my words with
Such attention to diplomacy as to free the most mature portion of
My mind to reply peaceably to any emotional outburst of another that
Is bound to arise during moments fraught with conflict when
I find myself personally prodded to defend myself on the spot from
A control freak, whose hunger for dominance is so blind to
The truth as to aim bullets emptied of common sense directly at
The most vulnerable portion of my heart at those rare times when
I, feeling need to debate a point or reply 'no' to a request watch
A control freak lower his/her horns and, like a raging bull in
A china shop, spew an excessive amount of fury at me due to
The fact that their bullish opinions or unmet needs fail to be
Received as commandments written in stone, and as long as
That person's closed-minded attitude remains blinds to
His/her lack of self-awareness, I'll remind myself to remember that
A bullish personality will have no clue that my heartfelt sense of
Compassion for their lack of insight has recently united with
My own self-respecting (thus empowering) awareness of
Intuition directing my self confidence to heighten so as to
Stand up to emotional explosions by listening astutely before
Offering up a detailed reply so factual in nature as to
Calm the bull from goring my best character traits, again and again, and
Now that this dynamic duo (self respect and intuition) has been
Consciously united within today's train of thought, I believe
My processor's insight-driven connection to common sense will
Ever more readily identify irrational imaginings associated with
Closed minded attitudes before remnants of my own deeply repressed
Fear-based negativity can emerge, swinging my balanced assessment of
The situation at hand toward absorbing the personal pain of others as
My own as had proved true in the past when I'd guilted myself of
Wrongdoing so quickly as to have silenced the self-assertive portion of
My voice as if granting ‘A Taker’ permission to prick my bubble of
Peacefulness, thus causing my ability to love generously, to collapse, unless
I'd capitulated to their desires (demands) on the spot and with that
Insight in mind, I feel a change for the better coming on in that
I'll fortify my invisible, protective bubble, which will continue to grow
Ever more flexible rather than impenetrable so as to provide me with
And insight-driven intuitive shield that knows when to stop
My defensive need to serve or strike back or burst into
Tears of distress based in the arousal of remnants of my own
Unresolved childhood fear of rejection, which, until recently, had
Felt need to call upon my Line of Control to quell anxiety whenever
 I'd so much as dared to voice a dissenting opinion or express
Unmet needs of my own rather than smiling while cow-towing to
Needs expressed by a series of control freaks, who had taken
My generosity for granted due to the frequency with which
Their hungry demands had been fed by my subconsciously
Subservient attitude as well as the attitudes of others, who, like me
Proved much more apt to bend toward the strong willed nature of
Another in hopes of preserving a peaceful environment by way of
Appeasing the ballistic temperament of one who remains
Victim to explosive eruptions of repressed (unidentified) childhood pain
Whew!
And thus does today’s stream of consciousness (which
Took the conscious portion of my brain by surprise) suggest that
My power of intuition may be guiding my connection to
Self awareness toward freeing Me, Myself and I to
Wholly absorb the spiritually illuminating nature of today’s
String of insights, which, having emerged from deep within
My soul, is bound to be the first of many yet to come, and
I say that for this reason:  Previous to the natural emergence of
Today’s intuitive train of thought, I'd never thought to
Embrace a positively focused change in my attitude while
A bull in a china shop had been actively goring
My most admirable character traits, suggesting that
I'd not charged myself with consciously maintaining
My personal connection to peace of mind under fire instead of
Feeling frustrated when challenged to face the unreasonable rages of
Another—AND—I’m happy to reveal that right from the start of
Today’s personal growth spurt, my soul has felt All gain!  No pain!
Why?  Because this brand new change for the better in
My attitude depends upon no one but me to free
My heart from feeling any inner conflict—at all!  And—OMG!
If today’s attitude change-for-the-better frees all of me to
Wholly depend solely upon ME, MYSELF AND I to
Direct my think tank's reaction away from sliding
Head first into anxiety during head on collisions with control freaks then
All I need to do at first is to remind myself to perceive of
Each intrusion to my peace of mind as being a temporary interruption, and
With that insight in mind, no one will be empowered to disrupt
My connection to inner peace for this reason:  Each time
My smart-hearted mind reminds my compassionate spirit to
Take a time out on the spot,  my think tank's ability to remain calm
Will tune into my intuitive powers guiding my defense system to step to
One side so as to detour my think tank away from falling into the trap of
Reacting negatively to taunting rants that make no sense before
A power struggle gets under my skin, and once today's
String of insights has been absorbed into conscious memory
The irrational imaginings of another will be disempowered from
Provoking so much as a remnant of my own latent anxiety to
Spike whenever I choose to satisfy an unmet need of my own that
Proves to be highly unique—I mean, let’s face it—if at
Seventy-four years of age I still can’t convince ME, MYSELF and I to
Exist harmonically within my brain space then when?  And with
Today's string of insights proving as profound as the one that's taking
Root within the richly cultivated garden of insights that color my mind rosy, let’s
Relax our minds by watching this current train of thought coasting into
A sunny rest station just in time to ready myself to drive to
The airport, feeling eager to greet my dear friend Katie who is flying in to
Grant herself a weekend basking in her sense of freedom to be so respectful of
Her innermost needs as to feel naturally peaceful while
Her heart, spirit and soul engage lovingly with mine, and as
I feel utterly free to be true to Me, Myself, and I while Katie and I
Are together, you can see how our treasured, one-on-one time continues to
Offer our friendship sound reason to feel mutually enriching (ever since
Barry brought Katie home during their sophomore year in high school), and
Though Katie had worried anxiously (once she'd moved to California) over
The fact that none of her family (who live in town) has
A clue of those rare occasions when my dear friend’s chooses to
Thoroughly enjoy one-on-one time with me—on the QT—we’ve both come to
Value intimate time together as worthy of being secreted from those who
Would otherwise feel rejected—unnecessarily—you see
Over these past 30 years Katie and I have come to cherish and
Encourage each other’s stepping stones toward personal growth spurts, knowing that
Each leap of faith feels as challenging as it ultimately proves spiritually liberating and
Thus do we cheer one another on as each of us continues to carve
A path upon which our personal sense of wellbeing grows
Ever more secure, and in this way have Katie and I grown to be
Kindred spirits, whose loving bond of friendship craves
Alone time, together, in which to converse on the same wave lengths, which
Suggests why our mutually respectful relationship continues to feel ever more
Soulfully blessed with the passage of time
PS. Today’s train of thought does not suggest that frustrations between us
Had not or will not arise—today’s train of thought surmises that
The soul-searching depths of Katie’s conscious quest for a sustained sense of
Wellness and happy contentment is based in her quest toward
Wholeness that compliments my own, explaining why she and I have
Achieved the ability to freely and good-naturedly brainstorm through
Conflict, together, ever more amicably than proves true when either of us
Confronts conflict with those who have not yet chosen to conscientiously take
Courageous steps toward accomplishing the mental work necessary to
Detour treasured friendships from experiencing pain-invoking
Head on collisions ending in separation based in the emergence of remnants of
One or the other's deeply repressed defensive fears—and I believe that
Today's train of thought, concerning my conscious decision to unite
Me, Myself and I during times when conflict resolution with another proves
Difficult will offer me a profoundly life changing gift, indeed!
Why?  Well, once the sum of my whole has practiced drawing forth
A compassionate reaction during the irrational rants of another then
My processor will be likely to hold on to logic so as to reply with
No need to call forth my line of control to discipline
My defense system, because my defense system will feel no reason to
Be threatened by insults that do not describe my character, at all, and
As long as my defense system maintains its cool, no inner conflict
Will arise, and as long as inner conflict does not throw
My connection to wholeness off balance, the imaginative ravings of
Another will not be empowered to overwhelm
My heart’s connection to compassionate kindness, which is
The only emotional reaction that will maintain MY peace of mind
PSS
One more thing, as this additional insight just came to mind:
No matter how many control freaks our thinks tanks manage to
Calm down before a power struggle picks up steam
Another control freak will be around the corner, lying in wait to
To challenge our best character traits to another duel, which
Suggests why during moments fraught with conflict
I'll choose to sharpen my mind rather than my tongue in hopes of
Inspiring my voice to make love not war

Three kindred spirits:  Ellie, Katie and Me circa 2003

2018—HEAD ON COLLISION Part 4n

Presently, I am reading
(and will be quoting from)—

The Great Alone

By Kristin Hannah

Italicized commentary is my own

It is 1974 Leni, the main character who is in junior high, reveals the plight of families of war veterans, who return from battle suffering the tormenting effects of PTSD.  Over the last four years, Leni, whose father’s vicious temper could not hold a job, had attended five schools without ever fitting in, but having recently moved to Alaska, she, remaining ever hopeful, meets Matthew.

“They were kids, she and thirteen year old Matthew; no one asked their opinion or told them anything. They just had to muddle along and live in the world presented to them, confused a lot of the time because nothing made sense, but certain of their subterranean place on the food chain.”

“Mama had been sixteen when she got pregnant.  Sixteen.  Leni would be fourteen in September. Amazingly, she’d never really thought about that before. She’d known her mama’s age, of course, but she hadn’t really put the facts together. Sixteen.”

Mama, feeling guilty over having let her parents down, held her diminished self image semi-responsible for the beatings she’d endured at the hands of the husband she loved, whose mental state had returned from Vietnam Nan blistered and twisted beyond recognition.

“Come on, sleepyhead!” Mama called up bright and early the next morning. “Time for school.”

“It sounded so ordinary, something every mother said to every fourteen-year-old, but Leni heard the words behind the words, the please let’s pretend that formed a dangerous pact.  Mama wanted to induct Leni into some terrible, silent club to which Leni didn’t want to belong. She didn’t want to pretend what had happened was normal, but what was she—a kid—supposed to do about it?”

Leni, afraid of her father’s drunken rages lashing out of nowhere, felt as if an evil potion released a mindless beast, which, having broken free of its tightly coiled leash, felt its piercing, red rimmed eyes morph into burning coals, which, upon sighting her mother’s lovely face, pounced, leaving Mama's heart as wounded as the purple swellings that, time and again, had distorted her beauty just as the far reaching, devastating nature of war had left the man she’d loved, mentally injured and emotionally crippled beyond repair, because the damaging effects of man’s unchecked brutality proves so contagious as to leave no innocent victim unharmed.  As unresolved fury feeds the flames of vicious cycles, multiple generations of innocent children are ensnared within a heart wrenching net of desperate despair, which, somehow, must change for the better before mankind's head on collisions stoke global fires that burn its offspring, worldwide, to a crisp.

“Leni felt a rise of anger; it unsettled and confused her.  Fear and shame she understood. Fear made you run and hide and shame made you stay quiet, but this anger wanted something else. Release.”

“Don’t,” Mama said. “Please.”

“Don’t what?” Leni said.

“You’re judging me.”

It was true, Leni realized with surprise. She was judging her mother, and it felt disloyal. Cruel, even. She knew that Dad was sick. Leni bent down to replace the paperback book under the table’s rickety leg.  “It’s more complicated than you think. He doesn’t mean to do it. Honestly. And sometimes I provoke him. I don’t mean to. I know better.”

The key to unlocking change for the better—in home after home—is self awareness, which acknowledges the fact that within the far recesses of every human brain animal instinct, cat-napping in its passive state, awaits our defense system’s signal to rouse demon-like tendencies, which leap out of the bowels of every guilt-ridden human spirit.  Each time Dad's red rimmed eyes burned with fury or turned green with envy, a handsome hunk, whose inner strengths had won Leni’s mother’s love, loomed dangerously over her petrified stance, growing ever more Hulk-like with every growling lurch 'it' took toward her darkened self image, which upon being bashed, felt rightfully (?) trashed.

“It hadn’t always been this way. At least that’s what Mama said. Before the war, they’d been happy, back when they’d lived in a trailer park in Kent and Dad had had a good job as a mechanic and Mama had laughed all of the time and danced to “Piece of My Heart” while she made dinner. (Mama dancing was really all Leni remembered about those years.)  Then Dad went off to Vietnam and got shot down and captured. Without him, Mama (still a teen-ager) fell apart; that was when Leni first understood her mother’s fragility.”

1974

“... a line of cars waited to fill up for fifty-five cents a gallon. That was something everyone was angry about these days—gas prices.  As far as Leni could tell, adults were edgy in general, and no wonder. The war in Vietnam had divided the country. Newspapers blared bad news daily: bombings by Weatherman or the IRA; planes being hijacked; the kidnapping of Patty Hearst. The massacre at the Munich Olympics had stunned the whole world, as had the Watergate scandal. And recently, college girls in Washington State had begun to disappear without a trace.  (and that leads me to ask—how much has changed—for the worse?)  It was a dangerous world.  Mama had explained it to her. The war and captivity had snapped something in him. It’s like his back is broken, Mama had said, and you don’t stop loving a person when they’re hurt. You get stronger so they can lean on you. He needs me. Us.”

“Dad wanted a new beginning. Needed it. And Mama needed him to be happy ... So they would try again in a new place, hoping geography would be the answer. They would go to Alaska in search of this new dream. Leni would do as she was asked and do it with a good attitude. She would be the new girl in school again. Because that was what love was.”

Or had Leni’s image of love become as twisted as was true of her mother's darkened self image and her father’s tortured mind?  As nothing stays the same, this family was in dire need of help before explosive beatings left one of them dead rather than broken boned and black and blue, and here's why that's true:  It's a given that change is the only constant in everyone's life suggesting that, over time, every situation gets better—or worse—And speaking of human vulnerability in need of spiritual support and hospitalization, I believe today's train of thought is about to switch tracks, leaving Leni, Mama and Dad to face whatever fate has in store for their family so as to transport us toward  1978 when another kind of head on collision (resultant of a drunk driver passing out at the wheel during a downpour) landed me in intensive care following my first life-threatening surgery ...

2018—HEAD ON COLLISION Part 4m

It’s a given that children, emulating parents, who have
Chosen to adopt a self disciplined sense of
Self confident open-mindedness, will be guided toward
Walking a path whereby tunnel vision becomes
Ever more likely to expand as young processors absorb
Personal growth spurts, each of which feels inspired by
Intuitive intelligence to take yet another courageous
Leap of faith away from conventional limits toward
Challenging oneself, step by step, to achieve
A uniquely personal. long range goal that lands
A person’s conscious sense of mental awareness upon
Each next heightened plateau where the narrow-minded
Attitudes, opinions and behaviors of others did not
Feel free to go, and the higher the unlimited mind climbs
The more confident are the thought processes that
Continue to challenge the belief system, which had
Limited other brains from comprehending the need to
Recreate methodology in such a uniquely enlightened way as to
Have produced change for the better by expanding
Upon outdated thinking patterns , over time
On the other hand, it’s of importance to note that
While mental metamorphosis is underway
Our thought processors, reacting like
Mix-masters, blades spinning on low, may not yet
Release a clear idea of your need and mine to
Take the time to blend the best of the old with
Whatever feels uncomfortably new for quite awhile
However, given adequate time to blend the best of
The old with new patterns of thought, our processors are
Likely to absorb changes for the better—not worse—
(Depending upon whose spell we fall under)—once
Our minds have absorbed personal need to
Conscientiously reconsider the negative effects of
Defensive reactions, which, having been based
In fear of failure or loss, overwhelmed the clarity of
The decision-making process of one mind or
The other (or both), blinding us from identifying
This deeper truth:  During the time that
Our processors spend blending yesteryear’s ideas with
Those that clearly make sense, today, conflict resolution may
Feel too tense and confounding to overcome until
Two heads, being better (during mental growth spurts) than
One, take note of the existence of a middle ground beckoning to
Those who’d once found it impossible to budge from
A polar stance that had remained firmly rooted in the past with
Mental blinders in place so as to have seen
No choice other than wishing each other well while
Saying goodbye, forever—unless the day dawns when
Those who, having longed to blend the best of the old with
The best of the new, choose to remove their blinders in hopes of
Encouraging conflicting opinions to meld so wisely as to
Blend the best of both patterns of thought ever more smoothly into
One as time goes by until a pair of smart noggins, landing on
The same plateau, at last, find themselves brainstorming so
Patiently as to successfully create a lasting friendship that is
Certain to taste as delectable to both as proved true of
Those flapjacks, which make me yearn for more of the same ...
And if your parents (like mine) didn’t know how to raise you to
Walk a path that provides space for open-mindedness to
Grow wiser (rather than wizened) as we age then
There’s no time like the present to open that gift of
Personal freedom for yourself—and having penned
Today’s train of thought, concerning parents, who do
Present tomorrow’s children with the precious freedom of
Mind expansion, based in personal choice, I’d like to
End today post by wishing a happy and healthy Father’s Day to
Every child’s beloved dad and adoring grandpa, both near and far!

2018—HEAD ON COLLISION Part 4L

Currently, I’m enjoying a novel about Martha Gellhorn, who, having been an acclaimed journalist and courageous war correspondent within her own right, was Earnest Hemingway’s third wife.

The title of this novel, authored by Paula McLain, is Love and Ruin.

One passage of this novel describes Martha as having been invited by Eleanor Roosevelt to stay in a sparsely furnished room in The White House after she’d been fired from an assignment for suggesting miners in Idaho rise up against FERA, and while spending time with Eleanor, Martha developed such a reverential admiration for our nation’s First Lady as to have been quoted as stating,“She (ER) had a kind of light, fueled by decency and wisdom and utterly inextinguishable. She made me want to be a better person.”

At one point during her stay, Martha ran this idea past Eleanor:  “I’ve been thinking of turning some of my reports (concerning starving families during The Great Depression) into character studies,”. She then went on to say, “If I wrote stories or a novel, they might become real breathing people instead of figures and numbers on some graph no one will see. I want to help them. I want to try, anyway, and perhaps this is how.”

“You want to help them,” she (Eleanor) repeated, looking at me (Martha) with those deep clear blue eyes that could be shy or filled with unchecked loneliness or steely and terrifying. I knew she never agreed with anyone unless she meant to.

“Yes, I do.”

“Then you will.”

Amongst the host of inner strengths demonstrated by Martha and Eleanor was a deeply compassionate sense of grit.  And as both had the means by which to enlighten the general public concerning the plight of others, this pair of kindred spirits proved instrumental in creating change for the better on a grand scale.

2018—HEAD ON COLLISION Part 4k

• Over Memorial Day weekend, Will and I’d enjoyed brunch with dear friends at a restaurant where the flapjacks prove just as delectable as this couple proves dedicated to doing their part to change the world for the better by offering friends and acquaintances bite-sized portions of their impassioned, yet open-minded viewpoints concerning the survival of those of us who follow the Jewish faith, which, throughout history has been challenged to rise above the irrational hatred that consumes the minds of countless adults who, in turn, infect the innocent minds of their offspring with negatively focused attitudes that prove so falsely prejudicial as to endanger the very existence of the only democratic nation in the Middle East, which is made up of people determined to live in peace and thrive though they be surrounded by those raised to become radical extremists, trained to aspire to be suicide bombers, whose fevered mission to dominate mankind terrorizes, maims and murders anyone who does not follow their dictates including citizens of western nations, who, themselves, harbor the insidious nature of anti-Semitic attitudes to an ever more alarming degree.

Just as my friends feel impassioned to do their best to disseminate well-researched historical facts, which prove too profound for reporters of current events to distort or ignore, I feel impassioned to pen posts so as to pass forward well-researched trains of intuitive thought fueled by bolts of insight that flash out of the depths of my mind concerning this fact:  Throughout history, human beings, the world over, have had need to learn how to listen objectively before speaking, compassionately to each other’s concerns so as to brainstorm effectively, together, during conflict resolution in hopes of calming emotional flare ups that consequently burn bridges before heartfelt connections can begin to engage in a deeply meaningful manner that benefits both sides, and thus do I pen personal stories in hopes of disseminating sanity-saving-solution-seeking plans of action that make such good sense as to nip the nonsensical aspects of power struggles in the bud before husbands and wives (as well as parents and children and brothers and sisters and neighbors and so on) separate angrily into warring camps, and by way of storytelling do I hope to do my best to hold hands with those, who also choose to dedicate their time and energy toward igniting the interest of kindred souls who wish to save our planet from extremists, brainwashed by short-sighted despots to blow themselves and others to smithereens, because narcissistic mania for power can’t see beyond its own egocentric obsessive need to satisfy an insatiable hunger that sheds the blood of countless innocent souls, so blinded by the twisted nature of their evil attitudes do their think tanks prove to be so as to actually believe and pass forward distorted versions of the truth, based in a zealot’s need to feed personal greed as was symbolically true of Audrey II in The Little Shop of Horrors.   WHEW!

And just as my learned friend, Solomon, and his lovely wife, Ruth (born of a culture and religious belief unlike that of her husband), choose to inspire their friends, colleagues and acquaintances to grow actively self-aware of personal need to become ever more involved in repairing our world (Tikan Olam), I envision parents, learning how best to role model positively focused attitudes so as to raise each next generation of children to grow toward listening and speaking so kindly to the classic nature of unmet needs, which plague the well being of people throughout the world, by way of embracing a patient, loving, knowledgeable manner of conversation conveying heartfelt hopes of conscientiously heightening awareness concerning each person’s participation so as to work productively together toward connecting a universal sense of need to create change for the better by training our minds’ to feel heartfelt need to open our eyes to sheltering all ages and both genders from harm once a majority of deep thinkers feel inspired to consciously choose positively focused methods of disciplining misbehaviors so as to heighten awareness on both sides, concerning how best to resolve conflicts in mutually respectful ways rather than resorting to punitive methods, which take the minds of children on a wildly irrational, judgmental ride, tossing their mental connection to sanity this way and that until boys and girls, feeling like Jack and Jill tumbling down hill, grow up, brains bursting with emotional combustion born of mental confusion rather than self confident compassion.

As too few of today’s youth have gained a conscious clue as to how they grew up to emulate Humpty Dumpty or King Midas, we need to guide tomorrow’s youth toward embracing personal need to master the courage necessary to tunnel through their very own defensive walls so as not to emulate Humpty, who ends up broken, walking eggshells with yolk dripping down his shocked-to-the-max-face or King-of-the-mountain, lying to and lording over middle America on a gilded throne in a White House fashioned of glass.

During brunch, the stimulating nature of our conversation, bandied back and forth, catalyzing my antenna to remain in a raised position so as to signal my brain to absorb the knowledge offered by our learned friend until my spirit felt so electrified as to see me whip out my iPhone to jot down the exact words which left our friend’s mouth while he—quoting another wise soul—stated, "I raised my children how to think not what to think,"and the ability of that father to condense his philosophy of parenting to fit into a thimble struck me as being so brilliantly simplistic as to have roused the writer in me to record the profundity of his attitude, knowing that, one day, the philosopher who resides within one of my brain’s most spacious, high rise apartments would inject the clarity of this parental attitude, concerning how-to-raise-children-to-think-clearly-for-themselves, into a post ...

“Learning is not attained by chance. It must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence.”

—FIRST LADY ABIGAIL ADAMS, 1797–1801

Last insight for today:  As change in attitude precedes change in behavior, it's a given that negatively focused behaviors toward one another will improve on a global scope once cooperative attitudes, absorbed during childhood, change for the better in home after home—after home after home—not just in Brett's neighborhood—not just throughout the Americas—not just throughout Europe, Asia, Australia and the Middle East but throughout the entire world—and with that insight in mind does this woman, facing the fourth quadrant of her life (my mother celebrated 100 birthdays, and that's my 'plan', too) see herself as an explorer, shining a spotlight upon the path, which hopefully, parents of future generations will conscientiously choose to continue to pave upon taking up the baton that I've been waving overhead, like a magic wand, each time my mouth opened in class after class, and having sought, absorbed and taught cooperative attitudes, concerning family communications, over these past 47 years of my life, I plan to continue to wave that wand, worldwide, via the internet, until I've drawn my very last breath —

(On a lighter note—those mouth-watering flapjacks really were the best I’ve ever had!)

2018—HEAD ON COLLISION Part 4j

Last Wednesday, David flew in from the west coast
Primarily to surprise Ravi and enjoy her three year old soccer game
When, just before game time, small niece saw
Loving uncle across the field, striding toward her
She broke into a run, making a beeline straight for him, and
Throwing her arms around his legs, Ravi looked up
Eyes, shining with happiness, and made David’s day by
Exclaiming:  Uncle David, I missed you!  Let’s hold hands!

David’s ‘little bro', Brett (The two having been
Paired by Big Brothers Big Sisters, eight years back)
Flew in on Friday to enjoy the weekend with
His second family, and as our home proves to be
A perennial busy-as-a-beehive-bed-n-breakfast
Ravi reveled in having a sleepover with
Two of her favorite playmates, and naturally
Writing time gave way to family time without so much as
A hint of inner conflict disturbing my peace of mind...
On Sunday at high noon, having taken
Big Bro and L’il Bro back to the airport, we
Hugged, all around, and I, feeling tuckered
Catnapped in the car while Will drove home

Sounds like we all enjoyed an idyllic weekend, right?
Think again—Why? One fact has not yet been served up:
Most of our chit chat, which tends to be lighthearted
Was not chit chat, at all—most of our conversations
Proved deadly serious as Brett shared fears (not
For the first time) concerning his life in
The gang infested neighborhood that
His family calls home, and while my retired (?)
Fixer listened, I knew without a doubt that
All of the brainstorming in the world couldn’t
Come up with a three step solution-seeking plan to fix
The overwhelming nature of the day-to-day
Confrontations that everyone in Brett’s family has
Faced and continues to face every time
Their front door is unlocked, and one or
Another, mustering the courage to leave
The relative safety of their home, faces
Their little corner of the world, head on ...
My blood ran cold to hear Brett say—Have you
Ever stood next to a friend on his stoop only
To see his hopes and dreams snuffed out as
He falls to the ground, another life randomly
Erased during a gang initiation drive by?
So what do you offer up after that kind of
Discussion has taken place, off and on, throughout
A weekend in which everyone talks of
Fear vs FEAR!
Well—before so much as a word leaves your mouth
Your perspective is sure to absorb an expanded view of
The sheltered nature of your life, just as
Brett absorbs the contrasting nature of
His life from ours, which, by sheer will and
Determination, he aspires to advance toward by
Embracing the education, moral support and
Financial help, all of which proves necessary if
He is to carve a path upon which
He releases himself from bondage—step by step
As for me  I, having felt emotionally drained from
Having inhaled the brutal reality of this
Bright and hopeful (though at times Brett's been
Known to barely pull himself out of bed feeling
Close to hopeless) young lad’s need of
His second family's loving hand up so as to sustain
His connection to courage as well as every other
Inner strength known to mankind, reflect over
So much that Brett, David and I freely
Discuss, back and forth, whenever we’re together
(As well as during conversations, texts and emails when
We’re apart), and the mere idea of penning even a fraction of
What we’ve each chosen to reveal wearies my brain, so
Suffice to say that today, a nineteen year old
Stouthearted young man, still in the first quadrant of life
Arose from his bed, inhaling the courage to be
“The man of the house” so as to face another
Day in ‘the hood’, while I, a woman facing
The fourth quadrant of life, arose this morning, to
Scroll back and see that Post 2018—
HEAD ON COLLISION Part 4 (eye), which
Had been left in a semi wrinkled state, has been ironed out
And so, with thoughts of pulling today’s intuitive train of thought
Into a rest station, let’s ‘brake’ with heartfelt reason to smile—

Time out on the spot to socialize during the game ...

Ravi and Uncle David enjoying spoons of peanut butter during Happy Hour

this little girl giggled all the way home ...