1371 WITH THE APPROACH OF OUR PASSOVER SEDER AND FEAST

This week sees me gearing up, readying everything in anticipation of creating a delicious as well as joyous Passover service, feast and weekend for family and friends.  With all of our kids flying in this Thursday and Friday for our Seder, my head, buzzing like a bee, feels as busy, organizing this deeply meaningful (and rollicking) weekend, as my heart, being eager to embrace three generations of our most treasured loved ones at our Passover table, feels enriched, while I, accomplishing tasks, day by day, go about humming songs about jumping frogs while retrieving beautiful, Israeli serving pieces, necessary for creating a traditional Seder table, from a cabinet in our dining room buffet along with serving pieces, created by my sons' small hands, during preschool, and finally, a stack of Haggadahs, written to engage each child's wondrous sense of participation in this ancient chapter of the valiant history of the Jewish people (which remains a timely story to tell, most especially because desperate souls, throughout the world, remain sadly enslaved by despots with little respect for humanity) will be placed within reach of each person's dinner plate.

As for Ravi, a tarp will slide under her high chair, as this will be our precious grand daughter's very first Seder, since, last year, she, being four months old, slept peacefully next to the table in the pram (which had once held her daddy and uncles), saved through the years, because Ravi's gramma, who works at remodeling her think tank, also knows that memories of my traditional roots run as deep as my corny sense of humor can be counted on to pop out at the slightest provocation...

As far as attending first Seders go, the same will prove true of Marie, Tony, Ray, Brant and Celina's Uncle Roy, though we've not thought to place a tarp under each of their chairs.  On the other hand, with tongue in cheek, I have been kidding Brant, long distance, telling him not to worry about being the youngest reader at this year's service.  All he has to do is recite the four questions.  In Hebrew!  LOL!

English	Transliteration	Hebrew
The four questions ask why this night is different from all the other nights:	Mah nishtanah, ha-laylah ha-zeh, mi-kol ha-leylot	מַה נִּשְׁתַּנָּה, הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה מִכָּל הַלֵּילוֹת
Why on all other nights do we eat oth chametz and matzah, on this night, we eat only matzah	She-b'khol ha-leylot 'anu 'okhlin chameytz u-matzah, ha-laylah ha-zeh, kulo matzah	שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין חָמֵץ וּמַצָּה הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה, כֻּלּוֹ מַצָּה
Why on all other nights do we eat many vegetables, on this night, only maror	She-b'khol ha-leylot 'anu 'okhlin sh'ar y'rakot, ha-laylah ha-zeh, kulo maror	שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין שְׁאָר יְרָקוֹת הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה, כֻּלּוֹ מָרוֹר
Why on all other nights we do not dip vegetables even once, on this night, we dip twice	She-b'khol ha-leylot 'eyn 'anu matbilin 'afilu pa`am 'achat, ha-laylah ha-zeh, shtey f`amim	שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אֵין אָנוּ מַטְבִּילִין אֲפִילוּ פַּעַם אֶחָת הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה, שְׁתֵּי פְעָמִים
Why on all other nights some eat sitting and others reclining, on this night, we are all reclining	She-b'khol ha-leylot 'anu 'okhlin beyn yoshvin u-veyn m'subin, ha-laylah ha-zeh, kulanu m'subin	שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין בֵּין יוֹשְׁבִין וּבֵין מְסֻבִּין הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה, כֻּלָּנוּ מְסֻבִּין

At this late stage of my life, it's a given that I'll need to gift myself a grace period of pure relaxation in the afterglow of this weekend's festivities, and hopefully, throughout each high spirited event devoted to familial love and lasting friendships, little will detour my spirit from floating on cloud nine while reminiscing over four memorable days in which we plan to feast on freedoms, hard won, long ago, while imbibing upon today's spirit of togetherness, beginning as soon as the first plane lands safely on Thursday till the last plane takes off on Monday, at which time my intelligence will no doubt direct the sum of my parts, most especially my body, to land on my bed😄

"Aging is this weird thing that happens.  Even if your brain stays very young, your body just keeps on going."  Says Sally Fields.

Going where?  Ultimately, we'll each reach that final resting place, where the great unknown awaits us all, so unless Vasco de Gamma pays me an unexpected visit with map in hand, outlining the direct route to the fountain of youth, I plan to do everything in my power to enjoy a fully re-energized, high spirited, healthy, well-rounded life for as long as is humanly possible, and with that positively focused thought in mind, my plan is to do little more than relax, recoup and refuel for as long as necessary after my family flies home.

Along with our immediate family, which, counting David's 'little brother' (over these past six years), seventeen year old Brant, we'll celebrate with my niece and nephew, Celina's mom and uncle and several dear friends, suggesting that our holiday feast will draw twenty loved ones round our festive table, where we'll sing songs of leaping frogs and slaves banging hammers in harmonic commemoration  of Moses' leadership, inspiring 'the people of the book' (the Torah) to free their minds and unshackle their bodies from slavery as they wander, over the next forty years, through the hard scrabble of desert wastelands where leadership found it necessary to guide this host of human vulnerabilities toward developing inner strengths by focusing their trains of thoughts on the promised land, which, though beyond their present reach, inspired each adult mind to envision change for the better taking place, little by little, as their children's future continued to unfold ... Wow!  Forty years of wandering in the absence of clarity!  Talk about leadership and flock mustering tolerance and patience as human vulnerability transformed into the formidable strengths, seen in Israelis—today!

Reminds me of my favorite Jewish joke:
How can every Jewish holiday be described?
They tried to kill us
We won
Let's eat!

Though Seders, during my childhood, offered solemn experiences to all ages, lasting for hours, I see prepping for our Seder and serving the feast to follow as a labor of love, suggesting that thoughts of creating this festive weekend of family togetherness offer my mind a well-balanced view of the days ahead, which explains why my spirit feels reason to sing of good fortune, smiling down upon us, all, and though my experiential intelligence entertains no fantasy of my being able to maintain a fully stoked energy level while rejoicing with loved ones of all ages and from differing cultures, I continue to feel eager to call our home the hub of the family wheel.  You see, rather than creating an emotional atmosphere of solemnity, our celebration of freedoms, won both then and now, rocks with heartfelt joy as unique individuals come together to sing, aloud, as one. 

As there's brisket and potatoes waiting to roast, matzoh balls hoping to float in savory chicken broth, hard boiled eggs swimming through salty tears, gefilte fish in need of doctoring, charoset to prepare, a festive table to set, orchids to purchase (need I go on?), hopefully, while I'm re-vitalizing in the aftermath, all of you will feel my heart reaching across the miles to hug you close, and if you, too, plan to celebrate this holiday, I wish you a healthy, happy Pesach with your loved ones, both near and far—and jumping frogs, galore.

PS
During these past few days, an intuitive train of thought has been penning a post, concerning a transitional mind shift that my sixth sense has felt taking place, deep inside, over these past few weeks.  This unpublished post remains in drafts, because the sum of my parts has been so immersed in organizing this coming weekend that wrapping my sense of clarity around the main insight, toward which intuitive thought has been tunneling, is not yet mine to understand, and thus, this unfinished post will remain in drafts until my mind feels so wholly relaxed and refreshed as to assure myself that clarity, conveying a change for the better, percolating within my mind, is mine.

1370 A GLIMPSE INTO MY CURRENT STORYTELLING DILEMMA

Damn!
I really want to tell you a story
Any story
I wish I knew what's been blocking
My mind from story telling for such a long time
I wonder when my conscious mind will go from stymied to
 Feeling an eager sense of readiness surging forth from
The same place where story telling trains of thought are
Surely tunneling through an emotional maze so complex
Inside my brain that confusion runs too deep for clarity to surface
In fact, if the truth be told, I've been feeling vulnerable, over
These past couple of days, or, more to the point
Sadness emerges when I'm alone with certain thoughts
Concerning my inability to create a specific
Change for the better that remains beyond my control, and

As much as enjoying time with Ravi lifts my spirit, each time
Steven has carried her home, unshed tears threaten to

Overflow my defense system's wall of denial, and that
Awareness suggests my conscious mind has just gained
Insight into this fact:  My wall of denial has a crack, and though

I wish freeing those tears could wash unidentified feelings of
Vulnerability away, my defense system says:  No way, Annie!
You know that's not how it works!  Though releasing tears of
Sadness may offer coils of inner tension a sense of temporary relief

Deeper truth suggests that your think tank must accomplish

Each step of the work that's required before readiness reveals
Why denial sees fit to block the primary cause of your sadness to

Feel locked out of conscious awareness ... On an up note ...
Today's post suggests that intuitive thought must be
Filtering through that crack in the wall, because
I'm becoming aware of my strength of courage signaling
My subconscious of readiness to reveal
An emotional reaction, which has proved too painful to
Penetrate conscious awareness, suggesting this to be
One of those times when my defense system (rather than
Over reacting) has been partnering up with common sense until

Flashes of insight illuminate the hidden reason that's
Causing my spirit's slippery slide, and
With today's positively focused train of thought sparking a
String of insights, brightening my conscious mind, I feel
Confident of my ability to keep my spirit afloat during
This perplexing period of transition by reminding myself that
A mind shift is taking place, and thus, while moving from
Confusion to clarity, I'll imagine the ease with which
The sad weight on my spirit will lift as
Strings of emergent insight continue to highlight
Gimpses into the source of this puzzlement, which
Remains hidden within a subconscious pocket of fear, blocking
My sense of readiness from confronting a painful truth that
My conscious mind has longed to believe as not true, suggesting
Need to work to free certain memories, which remain locked within

A Puzzle Room inside my head ... And though I already own all of
The pieces of this puzzle, my present state of vulnerability will not
Free intuition to put two intelligent thoughts together, which will
Get a story off to a good start until I accept the fact that
Mental tension, born of frustration, narrows my brain's pathways, so
The only intelligent course of action open to me, right now, is to
Accept this fact:  The lengthy nature of this mental block
Exists for sound reason, and while awaiting insight to
Spotlight the main source of this curious stall
It's up to my think tank to muster even more patience by
Strengthening my faith in this belief:
At this very moment in time, my independent sense of
Intuitive thought is searching for a dark pocket, hidden deeply within
My gray-matter, and once highlights of this dark spot are sighted
I can depend on courage to penetrate my wall of denial in order to
Expand pathways where insight driven trains of thoughts will
Carry my conscious awareness closer to the light at
The end of the tunnel, where clarity waits to
Flash so brightly within my mind's eye that
The name of the vulnerability, which has been holding
My story telling ability hostage, over long, will
Headline a post that will appear first on my screen and then on yours
And knowing that pathways, clogged by today's state of mental confusion
Will, one day, open, naturally, we can feel assured that memories
Will begin to flow forth so freely as to offer you stories, worthy of
Your time and consideration, concerning yesteryear's
Intuitive creation of solution-seeking plans that produced
Change for the better each time my intelligence felt need to
Partner up with insight and positive focus in order to stop
A negative attitude from usurping control over my think tank, whenever
I had to figure out how to stay a step ahead of
A trilogy of young think tanks, which had naturally attempted to
Bamboozle the voice of authority (that would be me), every
Day of the week—year after year—because, no matter our age—
Every human brain is programmed to rebel against
Feeling controlled by any mind other than our own, and now that
Today's natural flow of intuitive thought has reminded
My conscious awareness of the importance of
Positive focus coupling up with patience, most especially
When an inexplicable sense of personal vulnerability is weighing
Heavily upon my spirit, I can feel this post (and my frustration)
Easing into today's rest station, which proves timely for this reason:
Today is Thursday, suggesting my mind filling with thoughts of
Picking up Ravi, lifting my spirit to float more buoyantly as
My sensitivity to savoring this love that she and I share feels
Every bit as pure and simple as is this sweet natured child's sense of
Joyful wonderment concerning her every day adventure into
Heartfelt discovery ... and thus does time spent with Ravi speak of
My soul's need to thrive in a world where most others strive to survive ...
PS
This post was written, yesterday, but left in an unfinished state, because
Once Ravi's joyful spirit is in my arms
Enjoying her natural state of wonderment trumps writing, every time ...

1369 WHO'S ON FIRST? VS WHAT COMES FIRST?

Whereas who's on first is a funny joke
What comes first is no laughing matter, which
You shall see as today's train of intuitive thought
Tracks the answer to this question:  What comes first—
The current state of your spirit or an attitude that creates a mindset?
Hint:  The answer to today's question considers
A darkened view in need of lightening up by way of
Shining a mind-brightening spotlight of insight on your
Awareness of the way that resignation (concerning
A disheartened decision to abandon an existential unmet need)
Sap your life force of energy, Suggesting why
A heightened sense of self-awareness inspires
Your think tank and mine to accept the role of
Master architect over the rest of our lives as our
Thought processors come to understand how the current state of
A person's spirit reacts like the needle on a gauge, pointing to
Your brain's need to readjust a negatively focused mindset, which
Upon remodeling to state of the art, refuels our brain's ability to
Create change for the better by breaking down walls of denial
(Behind which hides regret), thus freeing
The  independent nature of intuitive thought to offer
Your present state of conscious awareness sound reason to
Identify and repair the crack in your foundation of self esteem so that
Self-defeating patterns of thought (which created deeply rooted
Behavioral patterns of blind obedience or rebellion, during childhood)
Will not remain stuck in a rut where a closed mind set continues to
Spin your wheels until intuitive intelligence gains insight into
The importance of brainstorming toward specifying which
Negatively focused attitude is key to unlocking the box in which
The disheartened state of the human spirit has too little space for
Its wing span to expand so fully as to free our souls to experience
The natural high that soaring toward thriving provides to one and all ... WHEW!
BTW:  A disheartened spirit need not feel completely depressed ...
A disheartened spirit can simply feel too compressed and flattened by
Conventional thought to soar as high as had proved possible before
A closed mindset, based in fear, guilt or both, blocked
Intuitive thought from making its way through the tunnel of darkness by
Clearing a path toward the emergent string of insights, which, highlighting
The benefits of thinking out of the box, encourages my spirit not to give up on
A heartfelt goal that remains beyond my control, and in this way does
My thought processor muster the patience to relax mental tension in hopes of
Tapping into my sixth sense until my spirit feels so buoyed with renewed hope as to
Switch tracks from negative focus toward taking another leap of faith toward
The possibility that change for the better may feel eager to accept
My invitation to dance around the next bend, and with that said
You can see why the good health of my life force relies upon
Intuitive thoughts tunneling toward each next bright flash of insight, which
May be only a day away, suggesting why my strength of spirit has
Seen fit to develop a determined sixth sense of its own!
I mean, seriously—why accept Mother Nature's gifts of
Strength of spirit, positively focused creativity and intuitive brainstorming
If we fail to partner up that trinity with a peaceful sense of patience
Specifically at those times when awareness suggests that
Tension-filled thoughts might otherwise squeeze the sugar out of
The lemonade, which had once tasted as sweet as the nectar of the gods ...

And thus do I ask, yet again:  What comes first?
The current state of your spirit or an attitude that creates
A mindset and behavioral pattern in need of reconsideration?

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

~John Quinton~

1368 MY SPIRIT HAS DEVELOPED A DETERMINED MIND OF ITS OWN!

If you surmise that my spirit is always focused on the positive
I'll respectfully suggest that you have another think coming
Though my sense of positive focus proves strong while
Working toward a heartfelt goal that feels thwarted, over long
My spirit can get to feeling as emotionally disheartened as
Anyone else's when fearful thoughts or sad memories come to mind
And it's at those times that I stand at the proverbial
Fork in the road, facing this choice:
Choose the road where my defense system decides to give up or
Consciously call upon my well practiced sense of intuitive
Determination to muster the courageous attitude that directs
My conscious mind to stand patiently at the crossroad, awaiting
The emergence of insights, which re-energize my
Positively focused mindset to forge up hill so that
My defense system cannot bind my spirit to a downhill slide on
The slippery slope where, upon hitting bottom, resignation feels like
A boulder-sized weight too heavy for my heart to bear each time
My decision to turn away from the road less taken comes to mind
And thus do you watch my intuitive intelligence partner up with
Strength of spirit, time and again, as common sense, brightened by insight
Calls forth my strong sense of determination to re-fuel
The courageous attitude necessary to fortify a positively focused
Mindset to continue to call upon creativity to design
A uniquely existential path, which will be mine till
I exhale my last breath ... In short ... insight into resignation, concerning
Abandoning existential unmet needs, inspires my think tank to be
The master architect upon whom my spirit depends to remodel
Character traits, which will update my life, no matter my age, to
State of the art ...

1367 TODAY'S QUESTION CONCERNS DETERMINATION

Is determination to succeed a trait innate to mankind?

When encouraged by a positively focused coach, we witness
Determination hammering successfully to win over
Frustration, as seen in this video, worth watching from
Beginning to end, as a sixteen month old child
Makes good use of intuitive thought to create
A patient sense of change for the better, because at every age
Accomplishing challenging goals takes time, creativity and
With a little help from our friends, smiles result, all around

1366 A QUIET MORNING OF PEACEFUL REPOSE WAS NOT IN THE CARDS FOR ME ...

Upon arising, today, I found that Post 1365 was in need of brainstorming before my intelligence could make heads or tails of insights that rode out of my depths on yesterday's intuitive trains of thought, which, though making a valiant effort to convey clarity to my conscious awareness, offered up a mind maze that I chose to puzzle my way through, this morning, until my determined need for clarity offered up this hard won reward:  My spirit is smiling.  And if you ask why?  With tongue in cheek, I'll reply:  Success offered my think tank Sound reason to relax in a place of peaceful repose, suggesting that yesterday's rest station was merely a mirage, whereas, at this moment in time, a mind at rest is most defitely mine (LOL!)

I guess you might say that at the end of yesterday's train of thought, I mistook the release of insights for repose, since release and repose offer mental tension reason to feel relieved ...

1365 A TRILOGY: SPIRITUALITY, INSIGHT AND PEACE OF MIND CREATING CLARITY

Seems to me that many misperceive of 'spirituality' as pertaining to some prescribed religious sense of dogma, dictating that a righteous sense of goodness exists within the narrow framework of a specific belief, when deeper truth suggests that strength of spirit, necessary for character development, relies upon independent trains of thought, brainstorming toward lasting change for the better by considering how best to satisfy basic needs (such as breathing freely, eating and drinking in moderation, moving, resting and procreating) in such well balanced ways as prove essential if mankind hopes to enjoy such good health as to thrive throughout each stage of life.

As history suggests that social and religious constraints continue to place guilt-ridden restraints upon our innate (natural) desire to satisfy six basic needs, I'd like to name a seventh need, basic to improving the emotional health of the human spirit:  The human spirit has need to break free of social and religious restraints that stuff our brains full of baggage, which a person's soulful sense of individuality needs to unload in order to make room for conscious awareness to grow so insightfully well balanced as to muster the courage and patience necessary to determine which course of action will best relax physical and emotional tension (based in unidentified guilt), which coils so tightly around our brains' ability to think clearly that self empowering knowledge, concerning each person's intellectual awareness of mankind's universal need to thrive as unique individuals, can't imprint so deeply into our gray matter as to brighten our think tanks with this insight:  Peace of mind depends upon accepting oneself not as we have been taught to be but as uniquely differentiated individuals, which is why intuitive thought inspires your intelligence and mine to develop the discretionary agility to sense when readiness to satisfy a highly personal, unmet need proves more productive than continuing to ponder, quietly, about an inner conflict that resists resolution until an individual's growing sense of mind expansion has developed the mental acuity that offers a clarified view of emotional complexity, which defensive reactiveness had blinded our intelligence from understanding at an earlier time when guilt-ridden trains of thought had flooded your think tank or mine with so much adrenalin as to have made brainstorming toward change for the better seem impossible. Whew!

Speaking personally, it takes a whale of soul searching, on my own, before a deeply ingrained mindset expands to comfortably embrace a decision, which had seemingly contradicted a principle that had guided my life until a mind blowing experience offered my sense of logic sound reason to consult ever more astutely with my brain's intuitive process than conscious awareness had ever felt capable of perceiving until the mind blowing uniqueness of that unexpected experience tapped into a depth of innate spirituality that my conscious mind had never fathomed as my own until insight into the complex nature of my unexplored emotional layers began to emerge, and as inter-related strings of insight, concerning the depths of my spirit's unmet needs, began to 'speak' to my conscious mind more clearly than ever before, my think tank had need to call forth inner strengths necessary to make decisions, which social and religious constraints had taught me to believe as forbidden until intuition tapped into my soul's sense of readiness to expose deeper truth to my newly expanded sense of conscious awareness ... And now that we've defined what is meant by 'a mind blowing experience', those of you who've been following my blog can fathom why intuitive trains of thought drive my intelligence to work toward identifying and expunging every drop of undeserved guilt, which had blocked my conscious awareness from enjoying certain experiences so whole/heartedly as to fulfill my spirit's independent need to thrive, free of self-depreciating degradation, based in the distorted absorption of my self image during childhood, which festering, subconsciously, had taken the admonishments of adults as gospel—whereas, today, I've grown to acknowledge my role models as having been emotionally over-reactive ...

Each time insight into deeper truth spotlights another aspect of my negatively focused self-image, festering, subconsciously, my relationship with myself improves, and each time my relationship with myself improves, my relationships with others adjust, accordingly, to everyone's benefit, and as one positive change for the better leads to another, my attitude concerning the person I've actually grown up to be continues to improve until, little by little, change for the better serves to rebalance my attitude about life in general so that, with each next step forward, I find myself smiling while asking:  What could feel more uplifting to the human spirit (at any age) than brainstorming, conscientiously, to relax tight knots of mental tension by reconsidering negative attitudes (which had darkly distorted my self image during childhood), thus offering my mind sound reason to expand my brain's agility to embrace bright ideas, based in strings of emergent insight, which enhance peace of mind as clearly as this train of thought has summarized the primary reason why I challenge my intelligence to pen post after post, each of which encourages my think tank to clarify a spiritually uplifting belief system, based in deeper truth, that frees all of me to be truer to my uniquely existential self, today, than had been possible as recently as yesterday, when, once again, I found myself standing at a fork in the road, questioning which course of action my intuitive voice was coaching me to choose in hopes of taking another step closer to change for the better:  Shall I follow a prescribed path, which, though 'seemingly' safe, does not offer me peace of mind, or shall I continue to listen for my little voice of intuition, encouraging my intelligence to quest ever more self confidently (not self-servingly) for emergent strings of insight, based in deeper truths, which continue to re-energize my spirit's heightening sense of self awareness to adjust toward thriving by directing my soulful sense of determination to carve out each next step as my growing sense of wholesomeness creates my very own 'road less taken' in hopes of satisfying seven existential unmet needs, which all human beings have in common?

Do you realize that I rarely know when a train of thought is pulling into each day's rest station until the last in a string of insights flashes through my mind's eye, which acting like a camera, continues to take snapshots of trains of thought until the intuitive exposure that my intelligence has been seeking, ultimately, develops, clarifying a deeper truth that leads my self confidence toward making each next seriously considered move, regardless of whether my train of thought penetrates deeply into any head other than my own.

Perhaps, tis safe to say that, where many see life as a game of checkers, my spiritual need for inner peace seeks insight into chess ...
Not chess with you, but chess between my intuitive intelligence and my defense system (which is programmed to tie my gray matter into knots in order to oppose any move that might expose my ego's need to deny deeper truth) ...  you see, each time inner conflict plays chess inside my head, my intuitive quest to sense a deeper truth unties one knot of tension after another until humility feels free to acknowledge where my ego's thought process is off target, and since humility directly opposes my ego's need to win at any cost, my ego calls upon its army of defense mechanisms to block the existence of deeper truth from penetrating my wall of denial until my intelligence has untied so many knots of tension as to clear a path whereby insights, flowing freely from a place of intuitive thought, brighten my gray matter to see the light of clarity beckoning at the end of the tunnel, which defensive thoughts can no longer darken once intuition offers a helping hand to my conscious intelligence, which proves in need of that partnership throughout every stage of life, and each time that partnership feels strengthened, my self confident voice encourages my smarts to sit my defense system in time out while the rest of me takes the next positively focused, adventurous step into the great unknown ...  Whew!

And now, if I say so, myself, that's quite enough brainstorming for today.