692 WHEN STRESS LEADS TOWARD PERSONAL GROWTH :)

Paraphrasing Diane Sawyer, here is an insightful definition, separating healthy from unhealthy stress:
(Harpers Bazzar, Prl 2013, p 170-172)

It is common for stress to arise while pushing past limits with hope and possibility; this stress, though adrenalyynizing and addictive, is healthy, whereas stress from being trapped or despairing has negative affects on the body.

This suggests to me that two emotional reactions may appear the same and feel the same but be so different from one another as to produce differing results.

For example, planning one's wedding can create a head splitting sense of stress while the day itself may find you every bit as excitable, but pleasurably so.

On the other end of the spectrum, in the absence of self trust, exhaustion, due to over work, may be mistaken for depression ...

As opposites may be mistakenly viewed as one and the same ...
That's where hindsight clears confusion from the air ... but not just any hindsight.
The hindsight to which I refer offers an expanded scope of a situation, meaning that a narrow view must grow objectively reflective before insight into the bigger picture emerges in a burst of  clarity that blows all sense of confusion from the air..
Story to follow, tomorrow ... :)

BTW ... this story, which I hope to tell you, tomorrow, will weave together the inter-relatedness of values such as openness, generosity of spirit, self trust, self control and positive focus, which create mutually respecting relationships that lend support, back and forth, through thick and thin.  Within the context of today's train of thought, these values may be described as inner strengths :)

691. PLEASE TRUST IN WHAT I ASK OF YOU, TODAY :)

Please review yesterday's post 690
Why?
Couldn't help but add a few lines
Which may inspire you
To simultaneously
Chuckle and think deep :)

690 WHEN TRUST AND RULE BENDING HOLD HANDS :)

If you ask
How might concepts like trust and rule bending
Which seem so dissimilar, hold hands?

I'll reply
Trust—or to be exact—
Self trust relies upon instinct to determine the flexibility factor of every rule

For example
A rule, considered flexible by me, may feel like one made of stone to you
And the opposite proves just as true, due to the expansive nature of comfort zones

That's why we find ...
Different rules governing nations, states, cities, villages, towns
House rules, family rules, personal rules

Need a taste test of how to conceptualize trust and rule bending holding hands?
Let's consider society's main 'source' of morality, commonly known as The Bible—
Self trust differentiates when it's best that an eye for an eye turns the other cheek :)

I mean, seriously, when we stop to think about commandments
Rules written in stone number no more than ten for good reason ...
Suggesting that a God-given flexibility factor be built into rules meant to be bent :)

As to why rules written in stone number no more than ten?
Well, right from the get go, God knewth
Man hath grave trouble maintaining clarity and self control

In fact, over thousands of years, we've not even upheld those ten
And as your friend Annie knewth that as true, she, who chose
Not to yell at her children, made up a line of control for herself

And over these past forty years of desert dwelling
Annie's attentiveness to mental clarity has testedThe Line of Control in class after class, and in testament to its success, guess what?  Most who have chosen to absorb this tool into family lifeagree that it works to calm emotional reactiveness, quite well!!! :)

689 THREE STEP STRESS BUSTING PLAN :)

At times when we have too much on our plates

It's important to be aware of being in response mode rather than self control mode.  If we know we're in response mode, we're half way home to regaining control in terms of determining which portion of the stress to let go of in hopes of relaxing (un-tensing) the over-extended state of our brains.

In case you'd like to consider a three step strategy for decreasing stress, which just popped into my mind, ready or not, here it comes ... :)

First we'll set a serene scene, Sooo ...

Please close your eyes and imagine yourself relaxing at a picnic.  Now glance across the grass and see a pair of ducks, swimming languorously through calm waters of a peaceful pond while you're waiting, patiently, for a trusted friend to arrive.  Next, close your eyes and inhale ever so slowly while your mind photographs a brilliant blue sky casting shimmering sun beams deep into the pond, and hopefully, upon exhaling, once again, very slowly, your mind feels less stressed more at peace, ready to consider the three step plan that your friend, Annie is about to draw forth from her basket and lay out on our picnic table before your eyes, which you may open, right now :)

STEP 1

Visualize reason for stress:  Picture yourself in your kitchen, standing before closed fridge imagining everything you FEEL the NEED to do and really WANT to do as well as EVERYONE you love and everyone you do NOT love stuffed into your fridge

Next, picture your BRAIN switching places with your STOMACH :) 

Uh, hold the phone—stop smiling, please.  This stress busting stuff is serious business ... my business, to be exact ... so, please follow my directions to the letter!!! :)

Picture yourself flexing muscles, standing in front of that fridge, swinging open the door, watching everyone you know and every responsibility you've assumed suddenly vibrating in place, leaping out of fridge and into your open hands so quickly that it's all you can do to stuff everything that's pouring out of the fridge into your mouth without so much as allowing for time to bite, chew on, swallow, absorb, and digest the essentials into your brain (which is, of course, below your belly button).  If you eat too much too fast, unhealthy emotional refuse begins to back up, creating a choking sensation of constipation, culminating in heart burn and crazy brain attack ... all at once. ( As that was quite a mouthful, Please read run on sentence, again :)

If, rather than calling yourself control freak, you begin to see your role as chef-in-charge-of-kitchen, you may be able to divide responsibilities, taken on, into healthy meals, individually plated courses, and bite-sized portions, instead of picturing the entire contents of the fridge on a ginormous platter, impossibly being absorbed into your brain, all at once. :)

After taking a step back to laugh at your ginormous attack of brainiac indigestion, please close door to fridge, close both eyes; inhale counting to six, exhale counting to eight, inhale more deeply than before ... filling lungs with much needed oxygen for heart to pump downward toward belly button where stressfully stretched brainiac is desperately in need of a sensible diet.  Please reread last run on sentence and actually DO breathing exercise before reading on ... otherwise your natural state of elevated anxiety will not calm down and if you choose not to follow this plan then why go on reading at all?  Breathing exercise meant to increase oxygen to brain.  Increase oxygen to brain allows you to function less responsively more responsibly.  Being your trusted friend, I'll wait, patiently, while you inhale :) 

Now, picture my eyes laughing into yours while we saunter round small fishing pond, watching pair of lucky ducks swimming, together, away from the fray ... And after accomplishing mind calming step one, let's inhale re-energizing oxygen once more before commencing with step two ...  PS Consider teaching this plan to everyone you love.  Co workers, as well.  Remember that only open ears will breathe it in :)

STEP 2

Decide what to keep or clean out of fridge :)

Ask yourself, seriously, which responsibilities you graciously took upon yourself, years ago or yesterday, which may actually belong in a fridge that now belongs to another full fledged adult, whom you love and are taking care of all too well.  Place responsibilities in question to one side of kitchen counter.  Place responsibilities to keep, for now, back in fridge.  This step may be reconsidered.

Question whether this is the right time to take on anything new.  If a new endeavor brightens your mind AND lightens your spirit, consider leaving it in your fridge.  If common sense suggests that any addition to brain work at this time proves to increase dissatisfaction (stress) in terms of what your mind FEELS FREE to create, consider the wisdom of transferring whatever is new to freezer, temporarily, without mistakenly perceiving of self as quitter :)

Spread newspaper on third spot of counter to wrap up emotional sh_t that pours out of fridge, concerning sour bile you are trying to swallow but are not swallowing well, because it keeps backing up, choking your throat.

This ridding self of emotional bile is the most difficult part of entire three step plan.  It may be best to brainstorm how to shrink wrap emotional sh_t in posts down the road, so this post doesn't grow as long as the last :)

STEP 3 

Clean out fridge—over these next few weeks—for real.  Begin to empty fridge by slowly delegating responsibilities that belong to others :)

As others will naturally balk at releasing responsibilities to them that they have come to see as yours, turn your mind toward the future so as to save your brain-bile from boiling all over negative reactions of others, which you cannot control.  Cut negativity in half by choosing to inject your responses with positively focused kindness and patience while teaching others to perform chores, which you have practiced to near perfection.  Hopefully, positive focus will keep your bile at a simmering level, so that if the bile of others) boils over, causing their brain's energy source to burn to a crisp, yours will remain strong.  (Reminder:  Brain's energy source is the spirit)

Find ways to burn up bile productively by running, playing a sport or whatever works for you that does not include yelling :)

Choosing to sit down at a family meeting in order to open up, calmly, about being over taxed and needing help with creating change is more important than you may know.  This may be a good time to review a story, concerning my decision to go on strike at home as written in Posts 612-619, titled: 

ON STRIKE!  ... having packed a series of simple three step plans inside my brain, which lead me toward success, your friend Annie has come to consider herself a lucky duck, indeed!  :)                                                                              

688 RERUN WHILE THROBBING IS CALMING :)

POST 378  IMAGINE LUCY RICARDO ON WALDEN POND :)

In recent years

I've had reason to re-evaluate my traits:

Traits, which serve me well, propel me to achieve certain goals

Traits based in fear of disappointing myself by/or letting others down
Narrow my scope thus limiting choices, which a narrow scope can't see
Though none want to see self as narrow minded
That's true of us all in some regard or another

With growth in self awareness in terms of how much I've taken on

I can more readily see how over extension of my strengths

Causes hot spots of mental stress
Concerning all that I believe needs doing, tomorrow ...

To the point that my brain naturally layers up defensive walls, today

In lieu of self awareness, these walls block reality out of sight
Once reality is blocked, I am free to tell myself untruths
Which may offer me a false sense of peace of mind, concerning
All I feel the need to do ... until
I've taken on so much that defensive walls swell and begin to crack
And once I take the time to peek more deeply inside this crack or that
This is what I know is true:
My spirit's quest for clarity into reality persists for sound reason
Clarity suggests my brain is like a closet in need of cleaning out :)
In short, I may need to review how much good I do vs
How far I push myself into over drive
Doing for others that which they can do for themselves
In short, have I grown so responsible
That others do not develop the need to step up to the plate, themselves?

While mind bending values, absorbed during childhood

Kept my mind engaged in a Lucy-like maze

I'd nursed this false belief:
Upon empowering myself
With talking and listening skills

I was capable of encouraging others to dismantle

Their defensive walls and improve their lives as I did mine

And in this way did I believe myself

Instrumental in enticing those I loved

To embrace the concept of clarity, just like me!
Though that belief may prove true
When pouring my experiences into open minds
All I can say, today, about pouring trains of thought containing
Box cars filled with common sense into minds not yet ready to open is ...
Ha!  And good luck to thee!

You know the drill:
Teacher is unintelligible till student is ready :)
Knock on closed mind is like hammer cold iron
Enough paraphrasing, on to 'the myth of movement' ...

Recently I've had reason to learn about 'the myth of movement'

Which suggests that I'd believed each member of my extended family
Had been striding in a positive direction when

In truth, I was watching gerbils, running on wheels in cages

With time, I had reason to recognize the folly of my belief
You see, as long as I believed certain folk were moving forward
I was as stuck in that maze, blind to reality, as were they

Once I faced up to my own reality test
An expanded set of facts clarified inside my mind
And as these facts marched out of my memory bank
One by one and stood at attention in an orderly line
I came to see that my brain had been fooling me

In the same way that the brain's defense system

Is programmed to fool us all

In short, I'd believed to know where all of us were heading

Until, clarity proved that ...

*Every brain (including mine)
Finds its way out of some paper bags but not others
In other words, we each wear lots of hats
And if, years ago, I'd amassed a wealth of knowledge
That encouraged me to assume the hat of extended family leader
And if I'd carried that mantle so gracefully for so long
That no one recognized the truth of how that came to be my role
Then as chief and leader, I was the first who had to need to
Identify changes in need of making, right now ...
And as we can't change anyone but ourselves ...
Guess who had to recognize where I had need to change, first???

Fortunately, over these past several years
Diving for insight guides me to lift my paper bag
And place goggles over my wide open eyes, concerning
One aspect of life after another, and
While looking inside, I tend to see trains of thought
That prove to be all wet
Each time my baggage swims into view like a school of googly-eyed fish
Staring back at me more clearly than had ever been true before
My view of situations, which my defense mechanisms had stuck behind walls
Emerges from the deep end of my mind, and as my view clears
I can see which situations have grown beyond my control

For example here is one dark blind spot that's finally clear as day, today:
I am empowered to share insight with only those

Who consciously choose to muster the courage to
Hear me out after they've worked to dismantle their layered defensive wall
As for me, I need to calm my frustration, knowing that
Others can't hear me till they've learned how to place
Their fear of failure in a time out chair ... And not until then
Will the 'student' be freely ready to lend the 'teacher' a truly open ear

Apparently, certain truths are so potent ... too hot to handle

As to cause many to close their eyes, ears and minds to
Reconsider the narrow scope of personal perceptions, which
May, upon deeper consideration

Be based in fear and thus prove to be misperceptions
In other words

Each time I watch a person's defense mechanisms
Protecting his or her ego from suffering humiliation
I feel compassion rising above my frustration for this reason:
Experience has taught me that we who have not learned
To sit our egos in a time out chair
Cannot embrace humility while solution seeking is underway
And an ego that cannot embrace humility will, one day, be eating crow
Bottom line:
It's hard enough work to recognize my defense mechanisms fooling me
And thus, in hopes of taking down my defensive walls
It's vital that I face the impossibility of forcing another person's
Closed mindset
To recognize defensive walls of their own—unless
And this brings us back to—trust ...
Unless I notice a person's sense of self trust, growing to match my own

You see, we do not fear strengths, which we openly admire
*We fear strengths that cause us to sense vulnerabilities within ourselves
When we fear our own vulnerabilities
Blindness is preferred over clarity
And thus does any show of force catalyze the defense system
To push away and slam the door against a strength, such as Clarity
Which frees the spirit to embrace an expanding sense
Of bending rules in hopes of actually living life to the fullest
As fearing one strength or another proves true of all people to some extent
My mind has worked to absorb enough common sense
To let others 'off the hook'
When I realize that their sense of false safety is still
In need of remaining blind to the bigger picture

If at this point you ask
Annie, how do you minimize your frustration
While working, step by step to encourage a frightened person
To expand their belief system's comfort zone
I'd reply:
In order to minimize my frustration, I keep this hope in mind:
If, I adopt a positively focused, patient, wait-and-see attitude
While working peaceably to expand my sense of clarity
Then my sixth sense may be more likely to envision
Where fate, coupled with readiness and free choice
May take each member of our extended family, next ...
And if, with time, my peaceful sense of self trust
Serves to calm certain aspects of anxiety down, all around
Then perhaps boiling points within several pots and pans will relax
And as a whole, we'll find ourselves
Stewing over less, solving more, developing into a melting pot, at last :)

When asked why I believe a kitchen full of boiling pots and pans
Can develop into a melting pot
I'll smile and reply ...
History repeats itself ... and
This has not only proved true for my extended family, again and again
But this plan continues to prove fertile for friends, family as well as
For thousands of class participants
Over the past thirty five years, so 'clearly'
Hindsight is offering me a 'clear' view of history
And all I have left to say about that is ... a hearty
Amen!!  :)


As this proved to be a really long post, you might want to take a break, right here :)

Each time my sense of clarity deepens

I see how sharing my perceptions of reality

May heighten the fears of those whose safety depends upon denial
Upon realizing that my perceptions pushes certain others
More deeply into denial, clarity suggested that

I stop knocking my head against defensive walls
Which are not my own
In truth, this tactic offers me more time and energy
To dive deep enough to identify and take down more of my own :)

In short, if my view of reality threatens
The tenuous nature of another person's inner peace
Then spikes of anxiety call upon defensiveness to double up, thus
Turning two deaf ears against whatever I feel the need to say
And as pounding common sense into two deaf ears
Feels like boxing a person on both sides of the head
Frustrations heightens all around
And so, you can see why, as mentioned in previous posts ...
I've begun to refer to common sense as uncommon sense
Because when looking into oneself, common sense proves rare, indeed

Seriously, insights, such as these
Inspire me to change my expectations and behaviors
In hopes of maximizing tomorrow's success by
Minimizing as much in the way of fear and frustration as possible, today
And so, though I enjoy the contest of debating with open minds
I'll not expend energy, wastefully by
Speaking my mind to deaf ears, repeatedly
Instead, of inviting frustration to heighten, on all sides
I look forward to 'telling' you stories
Which highlight my experiences via these posts
Figuring that whomsoever is freely choosing to read them
May glean whatever insights pertain to their lives

Each time I spent time
Pondering upon deeper truths

One insight lights up, repeatedly:

Vulnerability's defensive recourse has need to put my strengths down, time and again

Finally, the defensive wall won, because all of my strengths wore out
This surprising event offered me a powerful insight that I could not deny:
I had need to change my attitude for this reason:
Attitude dictates which actions we choose to take
So, before behavior changes for the better, guess what must change first?
Yup!
Attitude ... my attitude, to be exact! :)
Why my attitude, first?
Because I am the leader :)
As attitude is everything, that makes me ask:
Can a dilemma, concerning leadership, get more classic than this?
With clarity, my remaining ensnared within the heart of the dilemma was over for me
That does not mean the original set of problems were solved
What this post is suggesting is that I came to understand
How I'd contributed to a set of problems growing more convoluted, over the years ...

Once I'd offered my exhausted mind an extended time out
A self-imposed, much needed rest from
Confusion, inner conflict, frustration and stress

Offered my wearied spirit a peaceful place to revitalize, where

I came to see that after having expended every last drop of my energy
I'd succeeded in digging a hole for myself as deep as the holes
I'd been trying to help my loved ones climb out from
Today, I open my mind to thank total exhaustion for
Catalyzing my brain to question youthful lessons
Which, deeper truth suggests make less sense
Than I'd been taught to believe
And thus in hindsight, I came to see exhaustion as the silver lining
That offered my mind a way out of that which has been
And unending maze
And with clarity, into myself, I begin to reconnect with instincts at my core
Which highlighted a fork in the road, less taken by me
And upon marching to my own drummer
I began to develop the good sense

To tune out friendships

Which had proved painfully judgmental

At times when I'd been the one who had proved most in need of
Open minded, compassionate, thus supportive trains of thought
From those who'd depended upon my strengths to serve their needs
What a convoluted web we mortals weave ... or something like that :)

In short, I quietly but not passively shoo away

Narrow-mindedness in friends, who had, blindly
Proved to be birds of prey ... hovering, unknowingly, in wait
For my strengths to exhaust ... which they did, twice
And as three strikes and you're out ...
Quoth the raven ...
Nevermore!

If you ask:
Annie, what do you do when others act as messenger
Introducing painful Truths to you?
Here is my reply—which
Though you've heard this, time and again
I'll repeat for good measure :
Rather than allowing my defenses to kill the messenger
I feel Socrates, sitting on my shoulder
Next to Jiminy
And following their lead
I choose to sit my wooden headed ego down in a time out chair
And fortify my mind to listen with an open ear for this reason:
If I hope to 'know myself'
Thus deepening my connection to reality as I age
I may be in need of opening a closed section of my mind
In hopes of reconsidering my blind acceptance of out dated beliefs
And here is why this path of self discovery
Leads me toward unveiling raw wounds, still in need of healing:
Paradigms absorbed during youth are often in serious need of review ...

Once upon a time, a fearless leader could not shake a sore throat
Two of the most renown physicians of the day were consulted
Both were advocates of blood letting ...
Which had been thought to rid the body of evil humors
Which travel through the blood stream
However, when the cure kills the patient
Tis past time to seek out a new train of thought
Unfortunately, new trains of thought came too late
To cure our fearless leader's sore throat
And thus did two fine physicians
Draw blood until their patient
Succumbed to a paradigm in dire need of change
And as a result, George Washington bled to death
Suggesting that the stories I choose to relate are true :)

A good time to take a break :)

Day by day

Post by post
One train of thought leads to another in the same way that
One insight leads to the next
And as one changing paradigm leads to more

My brain carves out a path

Whereby I re-evaluate half baked thoughts left over from childhood
When I believed I understood that which was taking place in my life and
Why this led to that ... when, honestly, I had no clue
Of how many of my beliefs, concerning myself, were untrue ...

And if asked to pin point the main reason that keeps me focused
Upon consciously choosing to walk this path
No matter how many others may misjudge my motivations
I'd reply:
I hope that each time another half baked strength
Is identified and placed back into the oven

I'll create another thought-processing soufflé

Which will not collapse

When fate tosses tomorrow's dark surprises my way

Today
My inner strengths

Prove to be no flash in the pan

Today

Insight
Deepens and transforms my definition (paradigm) of friendship

Today
It takes a lot
To unnerve me

Today
I appreciate the length and breadth of my strides toward self trust

For this reason:

Each time I by pass fear
And reconnect trustfully to instincts at my core

I develop positive attitudes
Concerning how to take better care of my needs
And while patiently developing new attitudes
Which expand my perceptions about love, trust, and respect
With concern for the welfare of family, friends, colleagues and strangers, as well
I sincerely believe this work is well worth my time and energy—
And as long as I remember to take time out to smell the roses
Instead of feeling thorny while knocking myself out
To live up to a paradigm of perfection that I'd set in place for myself

Today
I believe old dogs can learn new tricks
Once courage works at taking down defensive walls

Today

Chatty Cathy continues to work optimistically

In a brand new quiet, patient and tranquil (no teeth gnashing) emotional environment

Today
I hope to quietly, trustfully inspire more good folk
To choose to open up to reality over denial

Today
I hope to encourage others to recognize when fear
Makes us look down in the mouth at those whose opinions differ from our own

Guess what happens to one who remains blind to an attitude of
You're either with me or against me! ???

Unfortunately, this person has no clue
That divisiveness invites birds of prey to chase the blue bird of happiness away

Though stories tend to emerge more slowly than I'd like
You'll watch me choose to work, side by side
With minds open to carving out avenues
Where out-dated paradigms are reconsidered
Defensive walls are consciously dismantled, layer by layer
And new foundations of friendship are fortified with self respecting views
Which build new conceived, mutually respectful, expansive bonds of trust

Upon establishing a 'blendship' of both sides of my mind
(Fear based and self trusting)
My new sense of balance knows this for a fact:
Working to restore the good health of my extended family

Continues to be worth my time and effort—
As long as my main focus is directed at change necessary within me
And in that vital way is my work different now than before

Break?  :)

As you watch me choose to redirect my path
In hopes of leaving my connection to Denialand in the past
You'll see my mind sift through its wealth of accumulated knowledge
While working to place my feelings of
Disappointed, disillusioned, distrust and betrayal

In a time out chair
In order to approach the future with clarity, hope and
Three step plans intact :)

If you agree with any part of today's lengthy train of thought

I hope you'll muster the patience

To ride side kick through each philosophical post

That pops out of my mind for this reason ...

Though many may seem to repeat the same refrain
The reason for that is two fold—
New insights emerge while reviewing that which has grown familiar
And creating lasting change in extended family life takes tons of hard work!

Each time a familiar insight reappears in post after post
My subconscious is sending a signal to warn me
That inner conflict is once again, foiling my strengths
And thus, post by post, you'll watch my brain work
To absorb some Deeper Truth more wholly than ever before
As I see it, here's my choice:
I can absorb deeper truths into my core
Or stay stuck in the tunnel that runs around the same tired track
Which gets me no place that common sense longs to go—clickety clack

Though leopards do not change their spots

I am not a leopard ... I am a 'people-person'
And as a person whose mind has been trained
To track trains of solution-seeking insights
Here is a truth that I believe whole-heartedly
(If that's an oxymoron—so be it :)

It's never too late to take your mind by the hand

And coax it to approach a fork in the road

Where a bright new, positively focused paradigm
Awaits to help you to dismantle defensive walls
Thus welcoming you, peaceably, clearly and wholly, more deeply into your core

As each day is the first day of the rest of your life and mine

Here is my hope:
Person by person

We may be enticed to remove our own paper bags by conscious choice
Thus may our numbers increase as we walk, more united than ever before ...
Upon an expansive path
Which leaves the dark, dizzying maze of Denialand
Which I tend to believe is the main cause of divorce, behind ...

And as today's extensive train of thought
Seems ready to pull into a station, at last

I'll leave you with two questions
To ponder more deeply, today, than ever before:

Can you see my spirit smiling at you from my core?

Do you feel the warmth of my hand reaching out, sincerely, for yours
In hopes that a circle of peace of mind expands?

PS

As my stories unfold ...
Slow as that progress may prove to be
You'll see why my family
Sees me as Lucy

In fact, one of my holiday gifts was

An 'I Love Lucy Doll'

A fitting addition to my small doll collection, for sure!
Perhaps, one day, I'll open a box
And delight to find—Snow White ...
Or even—Eve
If you ask me why I'd love to add that pair of apple-eaters to my collection
I'll reply:  Well—
Being that my quest to know myself seeks to understand
Classic mysteries concerning love and life ...
We'll just have to wait for stories to unfold
That explain how that pair of dolls relates to me ... won't we?

Your friend,
:) Lucy aka Annie

687 EFFECTIVE LEADERSHIP BENDS RULES TOWARD PERSONAL GROWTH :)

Thank Goodness
I have several posts saved in drafts
For times such as this when pain is high, creativity low
For example, today's post was written
When creative juices were bubbling over, last week :)

When, as a young woman, I chose to have a child
No one told me I'd need to be more than a good person
I did not know that a parent must learn to be an effective leader
Though effectiveness comes with experience
And experience can't be taught ... I had a lot to learn :)

If asked why parents need learn to be effective leaders
I'd reply
It takes an effective leader to raise effective leaders
And if there's one thing we are always in need of
It's effective leadership throughout the world

If asked the first thing effective leaders need to learn
I'd reply ...
Effective leaders need to learn
How best to effectively lead themselves
So they can get where they most want to go

Each time I figure out
How to protect the good health of my spirit
My offspring, who watch my every move
Learn to mimic how best to protect
The good health of their spirits, too

Today's post aims to show you
Why everything I learned about selflessness
Came under the gun
With hindsight, experience taught me to learn the importance
Of seriously reconsidering lessons spoon fed to youth

Though bereft of insights such as these
When my first child nestled trustingly in my arms
Thankfully, I'd accepted my neighbor's invitation
To attend sessions of The Family EducationAssociation
Affiliated with The Alfred Adler Institute of Psychology

From that fortuitous time to this
Instinct senses that my path as a parent (and person)
Can change for the better in highly significant ways
And if you ask how I know my instinct was and is on target
I'll reply:

While learning to raise caring, responsible children
My Neo cortex absorbed lessons in effective leadership, myself
And from that time to this
I've had no clue where open mindedness
May generate the expansive nature of personal growth, next

Though I still have no clue where open mindedness
May inspire personal growth within me
I do know this:
If growth depends upon bending or extending narrow rules
You can trust me to follow a path as mind expanding as that :)

Oh yes ...
One more train of thought ...
Though pain less than yesterday
Not decreased enough to indulge in brunch with friends
So, here I am, nourishing my spirit by writing to you :)

As to seeing my friends?
Well, right now, each of us is doing our own thing
As part of revised plan, after brunch, they'll ring my chimes
Signaling me to answer door and return to elevating leg
Smiling to know that today's decision created less pain than before

And—Amen to evvectively leading myself to where I most want to go!  :)

686 OUCH! MY LEG HURTS ... WHERE IS MY SMILE?

Though my mind can think, it does not want to 'create'

Why?

My leg hurts too much for
Memories to flow freely into a story line

This leg does not travel well

Meaning, I often have only one leg to stand on

Pain incurred in the aftermath of

Enjoying two trips in less than one week
Was subsiding, nicely, day by day, till yesterday, when

I thought myself ready to spend the afternoon

Out and about with dear friends

Who flew in from out of town

To have some fun in the sun

After dinner on a patio at a favorite restaurant

I asked to cancel our plan to indulge in gelato

Why?

Leg throbbing

Physical pain indicating change in original decision

So we came straight home

Why was that wise?

When physical pain is on the rise

I've learned how to take good care of myself

Upon piling up couch pillows and elevating leg

Conversation flowed back and forth in living room
Went to sleep hopeful, concerning tomorrow
Which is now, today

Darn it ... still throbbing, this morning ...

As I've been ultra careful over these past few days

It's truly surprising to have set myself back by so much

Thus, at this level of discomfort

I'll not join in while friends run around, today

As for dinner, tonight ... playing that by ear

Why?

In the long run, hope to make wise decisions

So as not to cause myself to be housebound, over long.

Good thing that after much consideration

And weeks of inner conflict

I'd made the difficult decision

Not to attend wedding in South Africa ...

Because everyone flies out, tomorrow

If asked why my decision
Not to celebrate half way across the world
Proved wise, though difficult, I'd reply:
Three trips within three weeks

With the third requiring traveling so far
Would have stretched my sense of reality
Much too far from clarity for my own good

As for right now, while writing this post
I can see clearly how that decision
Proved wise and difficult, simultaneously
And at this point in time

The fact that I am feeling wise about that decision
Helps to balance my disappointment of

Having had no clue of overdoing it, yesterday ...

Until heightened pain forced mind to refocus on reality

Once again, this business of refocusing emotional energy toward

Finding a way to bring myself to neutral can be far from easy
When I am in bed, missing out on fun with family or friends

So with thoughts of wisdom circling through my mind
Your friend, Annie, is less apt to
Rain negatively focused judgment upon my own head
And in this way do thoughts of wise decisions

Pump up my spirit when it's about to fall flat

As I've mentioned before
Experience has taught me to be my own cheerleader

At times when decisions that bench me

Are—my own

And with thoughts of consciously buoying my spirit

Here's a thought that's sure to deepen my smile

Grasping a full appreciation
For whatever time I can spend
With college friends, who chose to fly in

Proves to be just as comfy and cozy a way to buoy a sinking spirit

As immersing painful body parts into a warm bubble bath

One of these dear friends is a gastroenterologist
Who underwent two spine surgeries

Between November and now ...

At 6'3" he's had a hard time

Getting from a sitting position on our couch to standing up ...Ouch!

We've been laughing at being walking wounded comrades in arms

More reason to smile?

Dinner was superb

Mine?

Natural chicken (whatever that means?)
With slices of orange floating in au jus

Surrounded by

A medley of mushrooms, roasted, golden beets and snow peas ...

Yum!  Enough left over for me to enjoy, tonight

If I find myself not with friends
Winding pasta around forks at favorite Italian haunt

Thankfully, I have a net flicks copy of The Master

Which I've not had time to watch ...
(Somehow I find much to occupy my mind and time in bed) 

So I'll look forward to watching closely and listening openly
For insights injected into this story line
Concerning that which takes place
When we allow others to limit decisions

Which we'd be wise to choose for ourselves

And now that today's post has exemplified

How accustomed I've become

To participating in half of what most everyone can do ...

Perhaps your understanding concerning

My choice to focus on the positive may deepen, again

BTW ... if you happen to mull over my description of
Exactly what I ate for dinner you might find yourself asking ...

What makes Annie think I'd be interested in that?

Does she think I'm a foodie?

In truth, description of dinner slipped into post on its own ...
However, if we stop to think about it ...
Lots of foodies exist ...
Com'on—fess up—how many of us really love to eat!!  :)
Anyway, if we get back on topic ...
For the most part
I've learned to minimize emotional stress and strain
By taking steps to redirect my thoughts
And reroute decisions
In hopes of recovering as much control over pain ...
Which often proves simultaneously physical and psychological ...
So that when days like yesterday, pop up
Where life seems to usurp control over my well being
It's up to me to redirect my path toward
All aspects of good health as quickly as possible
And as physical and emotional health are known to intertwine
I find it wise to review yesterday's decisions
While injecting huge dollops of flexibility into my plan for today
Though I've said this before, let's review this insight again:
Repetition is not redundant when retention is our desired result
And as experience continues to offer me
Full knowledge of life's day-to-day unpredictability
I've absorbed the wisdom to make decisions, gracefully
Which had once maximized my stress
For example—I'd have been gnashing my teeth
At not joining my friends, today
I'd have worried over not writing a story for you
And as to missing a 'road trip' half way around the world ...
Don't even get me started!!!
So it's easy to see in hopes of minimizing stress
It's smart to remind myself that
If I aim to truly live one day at a time
Tis wise to accept today's bed bound state
Ever more graciously, ever less painfully
While hoping that today's decisions
Will offer up a feel-better tomorrow, all around :)
You see, tomorrow
We plan to visit a lovely resort
Where a sumptuous outdoor brunch may be enjoyed by all
Aha!  There it is, again!  Food! Glorious Food! :)
All kidding aside, when physical pain ascends this quickly
My choice is clear:
Spend today, alone with a grump
Or make the best of my lot and
Think of sound reasons to enhance my smile
PS
Riddle:
Why is it easier to ease a physical disability than an emotional disability?

With physical disability, pain points directly to changing our decisions in hopes of lessening distress.

With emotional disability, we mistakenly believe the decisions of others must change.

Generally, any who remain emotionally disabled, over long, are blind to the main root of a conflict.  With no clue as to how the emotionally disabled got on the wrong track, they end up lost in a maze of their mind's own making and that's where they'll stay, running round and round the main root of a conflict instead of aiming for the bulls eye ... and having been there, done that, thrice in my life, I believe the emotionally disabled, who can't see their way toward adjusting their own pathways of thought, are in need of compassionate help in a big way.

Mind you that when I say 'compassionate help' that's not to be confused with raining negative judgements down on sad or angry (blind-to-themselves) heads.  Each time negative judgments rain down on both sides, conflicts grow more difficult to simply, comprehend and resolve.

If you choose to take the high road and hope to remain on a solution seeking course, please pull over and absorb this simple Three Step Plan:

Take time out to redirect mind toward positive focus
Spit out every drop of arrogance as honestly as you can
Swallow humility, as gracefully as is humanly possible

As steps two and three are not easy ...
Cheer yourself forward by wishing yourself good luck :) :) :)  

Riddle:
What does stressed spell backward?

The answer to that puzzle is so easy, I'll leave it to you to figure out :)

And once you do, you'll see why I say ... everything leads back to Food!
Food for thought!
Food to nourish the body!
Chicken soup for the soul!
Ahhh!  That's better!
Smile retrieved!
Mission accomplished!
That's all folks!
Your friend,
:) Annie