Today, I received a text from Steven’s high school sweetheart, Trish. When Trish was eight and the youngest of five children, her mother died of breast cancer, leaving her Dad feeling so grief stricken and overwhelmed that Trish felt lost in the shuffle as five children were parceled out amongst sorrowful members of her mother’s family.
Upon her father’s hasty marriage to a woman whose patience with children was nil, Trish found herself moving across the country while her teen aged brothers and sister remained on the east coast. And not until her father’s divorce, during her college years, did Trish’s lonely heart bond, again, with that of a parent’s—other than mine.
Thankfully, over the years, Trish’s Dad often chose to express his gratitude concerning my having taken his daughter under my wing. During one moment of intimacy, I told Trish that the day would come when her father’s blocked feelings would spill out, and they’d become fast friends. Your father’s love for you runs deeper than he has been able to show. How could you know that, asked a trembling young teen? My self confident reply: Woman’s intuition has a habit of listening closely, most especially when others are speaking of love to me. Thus, over these past thirty-five years, has a sweet, motherless girl and a mother of sons continued to fit each other to a tee.
Steven brought Trish home when he was sixteen to her fifteen. My son said none of his friends would ask Trish out, because she was so beautiful as to be thought out of their league. Steven, always up to meeting a challenge head on, asked Trish out, and over the next three years, they were inseparable.
The first time Steven brought Trish home from school, I thought my son was introducing me to Alice in Wonderland, so blond and beautiful was this tall, slender young girl. As Steven attended Emory University in Atlanta and Trish attended The University of Paget Sound in Washington state, they grew apart, and though they broke up, Trish (whose children are teens) and I have nurtured our relationship to this very day. Along with her husband, son and daughter, Trish’s family has flown from Denver to enjoy time with Will and me, from time to time.
Last year, Trish and her older sister, having had reason to be here, enjoyed several visits with me. When I made a point of declaring that no tumor would get the best of me, we three laughed, though behind our light hearted attitude of denial a dark sense of reality hovered, overhead, being that both of their parents had succumbed to cancer before either one had come close to experiencing the stage of life, commonly considered ‘old age’.
In addition to having received a beautiful ‘bouquet of love’ sent by Trish, over this past weekend, today, I received the text copied below, which, once again, offered my heart sound reason to hold hers close:
Hi Annie! I was walking my dog today and was hit with a thought that I feel compelled to share with you. I was thinking about our relationship and the importance of it in my life; especially when I was so young; you and Will taught me I was worthy of love at a time when I did not feel or know my own worth. I am not sure I ever knew any of this at that early time in my life….but as I raise my kids and have tough/challenging/emotional conversations and situations; eye ball rolling and defiance; I have hope that, one day, when they are walking their dogs, they will know how truly worthy of love they are and just how loved they have been♥️ thank you for always loving me ♥️I hope you are having a good day!
Trish
In answer to Trish’s soulful insight, here is a summary of my reply:
Dearest Trish,
Your heartfelt musings are profound, and surely, while walking their dogs, your son and daughter will experience a lightbulb moment similar to your own concerning the part you played in mothering them so well that they know themselves to be worthy of love—without feeling need of countless hours in therapy …
🙋🏻♀️💖🔆🌻Annie
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