In the aftermath of my first Shakespeare class (ever) via Zoom, my instructor sent an email to me asking about my background, based in a comment I’d made during our discussion concerning leadership and loneliness. Here is my reply:
Good morning Paul,
In answer to your question concerning leadership (and loneliness), here is what connected the two for me: While in the company of true friends, I’ve felt alone— with intuitive need to know why—thrice during my lifetime.
My first experience with abject loneliness (leading toward leadership) occurred during my youth when tragedy struck my family with the unexpected death of my baby sister.
My second and third experiences with soul-searching loneliness occurred during painful times of existential growth when I had need to be alone to hear myself think.
Though, upon reflection, all three experiences proved inter-related, that insight was not mine for quite some time. Once the spotlight of self awareness highlighted those similarities, I grew ever more mindful of listening for and following the advice of my intuitive voice, and ever since that change for the better, a sense of inner peace concerning my personal evolution has been mine.
I’ve since determined that my passion for absorbing and teaching others how best to communicate, openly, compassionately and honestly at home has always been intuitive in nature based in my subconscious need to communicate openly, compassionately and honestly with—myself.
In short, I’ve come to believe that we can’t truly be so honorable as not to deceive until we confront and embrace both sides of human nature within ourselves and others, as well.
What has loneliness to do with leadership? Had I not experienced depths of loneliness during my youth, I’d not have developed the empathy to care so deeply about the sad stories of strangers as to encourage individuals to develop the self respect and patience necessary to set and achieve realistic, heartfelt goals.
Though this deeper truth had not been grasped early in my teaching career, retrospectively, every class I’ve facilitated proved intuitive in that stories concerning raising my children were presented in such a humorous fashion that my students—all parents—were laughing while learning positively focused parenting techniques, which, when practiced with consistency and patience intact, truly resolve conflicts that prove classic, timeless and universal in home after home.
The director of the parenting program at the college where I taught for many years asked me to speak at several national conferences held in Phoenix.
The publisher of a parenting magazine, who attended one of my seminars, asked if an article based upon the information articulated could be submitted for publication, and over the next five years, I penned a column titled, The Sibling Solution. Again, stories highlighting creative solutions soothing the inevitable uprising of sibling rivalry were based upon opening the archives of my memory—repetitive problem arises/time out to calm tempers/respectful brainstorming /creative solution/lasting resolution.
Before retiring, due to illness, it was my pleasure to have been asked to be the keynote speaker at The International Conference For Nannies.
While raising my family, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed facilitating communication classes for parents and teachers at preschools, grammar schools, jr highs, high schools, church groups and synagogues throughout The Valley of the Sun.
Once serious health issues forbade my traipsing all around town with teaching materials and props, our living room became a safe haven in which to save the sanity of parents of triplets, who belonged to an organization aptly named Multiple Joys. Some of those parents, who’d first sought solace on my living room couch during their triplets toddlerhood, continued to seek me out until their kids left for college.
At this stage of my life, I feel deeply pleasured each time one of my sons calls to relate a repetitive conflict arising with one of my beloved grandchildren and asks—any suggestions, Mom? And just as I’d opened the door to brainstorming, together, toward logic based solutions when they were small, so do my sons choose to open that door and invite my participation while they pass another highly valued sanity-saving tool forward, again.
I believe my personal and professional life evolved based in subconscious need to understand, enhance and embrace my self-worth after tragedy darkened our door, setting my mind aswirl at the vulnerable, inexperienced age of three, and were it not for my father’s strength of spirit and demonstrative love for me, I believe the answer to your question concerning leadership (and loneliness) would have been very different from the one that’s flowing forth so naturally from within the depths of my mind, today.
BTW—my three rambunctious sons, who were disciplined with love, humor and consistency (order), grew up to become each other’s best friends and ours, as well. Their permission granted me the freedom to reveal our family stories, which my classes and I enjoyed, year after year.
Though many dear friends continue to see me as Pollyanna, my cock-eyed optimistic view of life proved a powerful defense mechanism during my youth. As of recent years, I know myself as an optimistic realist, whose organic love of family and friends, order and education, self respect and honor comprise my heart’s greatest treasures.
Being that I’ve long considered Shakespeare’s poetic brilliance concerning love and friendship to be beyond compare, Michael’s enthusiasm for your class reawakened my hunger for mental stimulation, which has remained fallow, based in serious illness, over this past year and a half. And now, being on the mend and happily enrolled in your class, hopefully, I’ve answered your question with thoroughness being that brevity is not yet one of my personal strengths.😊
🙋🏻♀️Heidi
PS Before chemotherapy, my hair was long and dark, and with patience (and my stylist’s expertise) that shall come to pass, again.🙋🏻♀️😊
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