In retrospect, it’s amazing to think that boys, whom we’d never met, would ring the door bell, pick us up, and with nary a care, my friends and I would slide into their cars, which would whisk us away from our parents’ homes without anyone expressing concern for our safety.
On second thought, I can’t speak for my parents’ unspoken concerns; however, my friends and I had no thought for our welfare though considering my history, you’d think my intuition would have thrown up roadblocks with warning signs the size of billboards saying—STRANGER DANGER TILL PROVEN OTHERWISE. On the other hand, the fact that we’re discussing the dating game during the 1960’s suggests why that’s not the case:
Accepting ‘blind’ dates is a common occurance.
And dating unchaperoned has been the norm for decades.
(For instance, take the night my parents met, during the early 1940’s—My dad’s in his late twenties when he ‘picks up’ my mom at a dancehall. What Dad’s about to find out is that in addition to being a dark haired, voluptuous beauty, Mom is as straight laced as they come with four strapping brothers at home, whose heights loom over my dad’s head each time he arrives to take this young lady, who’d dazzled his heart at first glance, on a date. As Mom’s number one dating rule is ‘No chupah no shtupah’ (which aligns with the custom of the times), within ten months of meeting, they are wed. BTW—the chupah is the canopy raised over the heads of bride and groom, during a Jewish marriage ceremony, symbolizing their very first home.)
As to the late fifties, early sixties, if a good girl is dating a nice guy then his friends must be nice, as well—right? I mean, birds of a feather flock together. Or so we’re led to believe, even today.
Before the internet, we are innocent of knowing how many women are actually attacked by guys they know and trust.
Many who are date raped keep that big bad truth about big bad wolves under wraps, even today, being that traumatized victims feel guiltily grilled ... as in—what did you do to tantalize his lust? (If you have preteens at home and have not yet seen the film, Thirteen, it’s not to be missed, so you won’t be a parent caught unaware of what ‘prey’ tell is actually happening out there. In fact, you may consider watching and discussing its relevance with your kids, so they’ll be aware of guarding their health and safety, as well.)
As a teen, my personal history (the traumatized portion of which has remained tightly coiled within a vaccum sealed mental block since years before I came to understand anything of a sexual nature) warns me of nothing amiss unless my intuition catches wind of a guy’s natural adolescent lust threatening exposure at which time I’ll bolt back and flash freeze with no afore or after thought of anxiety spiking, because that’s how mental blocks work.
And now, having offered a brief synopsis of traditional dating rules before The Pill introduces a whole new ballgame, I’ve chosen not to describe teens ‘running bases’, based in this awareness—familiarity with that lingo spreads like wildfire in junior high, and during my teens, rarely do hopeful hormonal guys score home runs ...
Annie
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