PHYSICAL PAIN MINIMIZES ACTIVISM

Our dear friends, Shelly and Jerry just left Shelly’s home made, veggie pate at our front door.

Though pain meds decrease my appetite, nothing alters my enjoyment of her pate—first of all, because it’s so delicious and—first of all, because it’s so healthy, suggesting that both reasons tie for first place.

Being home is the perfect place to recuperate from surgeries that proved deeply invasive.  In order to provide myself with a peaceful emotional environment, conducive to healing, layer by layer, I have sheltered myself from knowledge concerning whatever is taking place in the world beyond my front door.  Will and our sons continue to encourage me to minimize arousing frustration, which would run interference with energy directed at healing, by closing my eyes and ears to the fake news churned out, non stop, during The Republican Party’s presidential convention, and as long as physical pain continues to dial up from the inside out, my curiosity remains numb, so my family gets no argument from me.

Week by week, I find myself becoming more independent in terms of self care, and perhaps patio visits with dear friends, separated by our Arcadia door, are not as far off as they seem, right now, when social interaction with anyone other than Steven and Ravi seems to overwhelm my depleted level of energy.

Stay well, dear friends.  With patience intact, we’ll have lots to enjoy once my recovery from serious surgeries and our nation’s recovery from trump’s tyranny and threat of Covid have passed ...  and perhaps, before too long, true stories, which have layered up inside my head, will begin to ride out of my mind on gentle waves of intuitive thought once daily life feels as calm as a balmy day at the beach ... 🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

THE DAY WILL DAWN WHEN I AWAKEN PAIN FREE WITH POSITIVE ENERGY TO SPARE

Barry FaceTimes us, every evening.  And ever since Ray learned that my surgeries met with success, freeing me of cancer, his heartfelt, nine year old enthusiastic virtual hugs have come to mean more to me than I can convey.  Ray’s natural expressions of relief in the aftermath of my surgeries are actually palpable, and each time he bounds into the room, eager to connect via the internet, his million watt smile ignites my own.  And as brothers are known to react differently from each other, whenever ten year old Tony strolls by while we’re FaceTiming, I feel a quiet sense of his love emanating naturally from deep within his heart, as well.

The fact that I’ve felt unwell for two years makes me long to hurry each stage of my recovery, which doesn’t make sense as long as Covid separates us from each other—so perhaps what I’m really longing for is to awaken pain free and with energy to spare in a nation that’s no longer overrun with the criminal mentality that has continued to unleash the worst side of human nature, over these past three and a half years.

Time and again, I consciously remind myself that with Dr. Reardon and Dr. Chan at the helm in the OR, a huge personal miracle was granted to me in Houston, and once Biden and Harris are at the helm in D,C., the ills of our nation will begin to heal in stages just as is currently (and consistently) happening within my body, day by day by day by day ...
🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

REASONS TO SMILE CONTINUE TO ADD UP

As with most others who are maintaining quarantine, there’s not much new at my end.

Though this is proving to be a slow and painful recovery, I’m choosing to take it one day at a time for six reasons:
#1 Whatever choice do I have ...
#2. This attitude tames my frustration
#3. After close to a year of chemo miseries, I’m on the healing side of both surgeries.
#4. Every day sees me one day closer to feeling pain free, healthy and revitalized.
#5. It’s good to know that my spirit, being positively focused, leads my processor to push thoughts of pain aside in favor of brightening each day with thoughts of healing, layering up inside my mind.
#6 Every day conveys our nation closer to re-uniting our strengths on Nov. 3rd.

I hope you’re taking every precaution to stay well.  And if you choose to greet everyone you meet with a smartly masked smile, you’ll be counted amongst those who are empowered to turn frowns upside down😊
🙋🏻‍♀️❤️Annie

RIDDING THE OVAL OFFICE OF THE WORST LIAR—EVER

So what have you been up to, over this past week?  Thank goodness for the Democratic Convention—we’ve been listening to political speeches that actually make sense—which will not be true, this week, when trump and his cronies offer speeches airing nothing more than a series of lies based in dishonest distortions of the truth as perceived by a brain that’s clearly insane.

Having traveled on Saturday, pain on Sunday (in the aftermath of having been jostled during a bumpy flight), made it difficult to smile until Steven arrived with Ravi, whose sweet presence on a down day consistently serves as my spirit’s automatic pick-me-up.

Thank goodness, Monday felt quiet and peaceful, and though today was far from pain free, I chose to consciously focus my appreciation upon being—home.  And though the worst liar ever will be in The Oval Office for months to come, I’ll be recuperating in my own bed with my loved ones near by, and each time I acknowledge that change for the better as being within my control, my patience level, concerning national politics, will be more easily maintained whenever the impostor in the White House comes to mind ...

HAVING EXPERIENCED MIRACLE #1, LET’S SET OUR SIGHTS UPON MIRACLE #2

I am in awe of being home, cancer free, with the surgeries behind me as if a miracle that I’d wished for has actually been granted, because I’d placed my faith in the brilliance of a pair of surgeons, who developed this two step procedure, and because I believe in the power of love, which empowered my spirit to restrengthen and hold fast to the universal spirit, which is made up of every loving heart that reaches out to mine, most especially whenever the road toward healing feels so painful that instead of being rocky, I feel as if my pain meds are trying to dodge boulders that are being cast straight at the incisions, layered within my chest and back while I tell myself that just as I made it through several hospitalizations during nine months of chemo misery, which led toward my being a candidate for these surgeries, which were followed by time spent in intensive care where the slightest of movements stimulated injured nerves within the surgical field to rebel with agony while the rest of me focused upon feeling more grateful than ever to my husband and sons and extended family and friends for lifting my spirit with such consistency that, during weeks spent at the Airbnb, I found myself able to become a bit more independent, as the first stage of my recovery moved forward, one day at a time, though twice, my brain felt no need to ask for help, which proved a mistake when two of my first attempts to get out of bed by myself saw my walker just out of reach as I slipped to the floor, and then sported a smile while calling for help, because my gratitude at not having harmed myself was so great.

At any rate, these next few weeks in which injured nerves throughout my sternum in front and rib cage in back are less polite than I’d like when signaling me not to move a muscle (which proves counterproductive to healing, over the long run.) will pass, and soon my smile will not depend upon Ativan (which thank goodness is NOT addictive) when the pain, emanating from deep within my physical being, surmounts my pain meds’ ability to do more than take the edge off of the spiking nature of discomfort that accompanies the combination of heart/lung surgery, which literally saved my life.

Now, all that needs be done is to bear the pain of healing while awaiting miracle number two—that being turning so many states blue as to dump the trash talk that’s accumulated during trump’s take over of The Oval Office so as to shine the spotlight upon our need to clean up big bad lies that insist we send our beloved children to school, unmasked, while the Covid pandemic is still stealing lives, and just as two medical heros devised a procedure to successfully remove the cancerous tumor from my body, we’ll rely upon the mindful strengths inherent within Biden and Harris to send trump-the-thief and his gang of thugs packing before our nation sinks any deeper into the bottomless pit, which trump bestowed upon us in exchange for the swamp.

And now, having given the Ativan time to kick in, my walker and I and my pewter-colored flat top are about to walk up and down the length of my house, several times, back and forth, in hopes of strengthening unused muscles without jangling irritated nerves so much as to feel them rejecting my need to exercise all of me in hopes of speeding healing along.  Seriously, once vaccinated against Covid, my grandchildren and I have lots of fun awaiting, directly ahead ...

THERE’S NO GOOD TIME FOR MARY POPPINS TO RETIRE

Having slept through the night in our own bed, draws forth the word ‘peaceful’, a feeling that’s been absent for many weeks, beginning with the morning when we set out for Houston, and rather than peacefulness, courage filled every fiber of our beings.

Ever since Will, David and Steven walked into our house from the airport, yesterday, I’ve been totally in awe of finding myself on this side of the surgeries, and as I tend to take very long naps from which I awaken in pain, guess who has to muster the patience to wait until the next pain pill kicks in so as to react to whatever is happening, presently, as would a person who is satisfied with her lot in life?

As of now, the friend who dropped off balloons, yesterday, is planning to leave Bbq ribs at our front door, today.  And as soon as this post is a wrap, I’m aiming to figure out if my first Mary Poppin’s surprise was delivered to my niece’s four children, so they, working in tandem with me, cross country, can ease their mother through her chemo miseries, being that Deb was diagnosed with breast cancer, last week.

Strange, isn't it, to learn that two of my nieces on both sides of our family have been diagnosed with cancer (one breast—one kidney) within a matter of a couple of months?  I sure don’t know what to make of that ...
🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

FOOL ME TWICE?—NO WAY, mr. trump

People are terrified that trump is going to steal this election right from under our noses as was true four years ago when most of us were blindsided.  Having heard that very fear aired, time and again, here’s my take on what lies straight ahead:
 If we know that something of great value has been stolen in the past and if the thief has been named then under the laws of this nation, said thief is eventually jailed, most especially if that thieving liar tries to steal for personal gain, yet again.  And in order to sleep at night, that’s the belief in which I’ve chosen to place my faith🙋🏻‍♀️🇺🇸

HIGH TIME TO AWAKEN FROM MORE THAN ONE NIGHTMARE

 It’s hard to believe all of the medical events that have taken place, over this past year, inside my body, which, like a Timex, is still ticking after surviving quite a few lickings.  Hopefully, as stitches dissolve, the vice-like feeling around my chest will ease up, as well.

I’ve truly enjoyed watching the National Democratic  Convention unfold, over this past week, as listening to strong speeches has encouraged me to believe that this nation can muster the host of strengths necessary to bring trump’s evil reign of terror to its knees.  Barry and David are insistent that after having enjoyed the upbeat nature of this past week’s nationally unifying speeches, I would do well to turn off the TV so as to keep my personal mindset on a positively focused roll, which has been pumping up my spirit’s self empowered, internal capacity to heal the woundedness that has been undermining my ability to restrengthen, little by little, layer by layer, day by day, deep inside my mind and body for more than a year.  And as their reasoning makes sense, my homecoming, at the end of this week, may be very well timed.

Just as I love the virtual thought of gathering and trashing as many red hats as can be found before we grab hold of a pole that will steady our virtual ride on Biden’s and Harris’s red, white and blue band wagon, I can feel our drive toward The White House picking up steam until the polls close on November 3rd, at which time trump will be sent packing in the aftermath of four straight years of insanity turning The Oval Office into a three ring circus’s side show, and now that we’ve had more than enough of that dog and pony act, let’s offer a standing ovation to the fact that once sanity reigns supreme, I’ll not be the only U.S. citizen who, finding herself healing from having had a cancerous tumor removed from her heart, knows, without a doubt, that better days lie directly ahead for one and all unless thy name rhymes with—rump!
🙋🏻‍♀️❤️🇺🇸Annie

UPBEAT UPDATE #25

 Recently, I’ve been more quiet than not, based upon the fact that my heightened pain level (which was expected), has remained a problem, clashing with my cultivated state of peaceful patience.  And I’ve been unable to write of misery until the massive portion of it has passed.

At this point,  I’m so ready to rest in my own bed after spending these past several weeks in Houston

To our good fortune, the Airbnb has proved comfortable in terms of space and adequate in terms of meeting our needs.  And now, as we advance toward the next stage of our most current adventure into The Great Unknown, we’ll soon be readying our Hazmat suits, face shields and masks to convey us through the airport in hopes of making our uneventful way home, safely, again.

Hopefully, the most difficult  portion of this challenging experience has passed.  And had you been with me from the start, you’d probably be surprised to see how much I’ve improved when considering my present level of independence concerning walking, grooming, dressing, and hours spent sitting on a comfortably padded couch, where, for the most part, we’ve been binging on The Americans, evenings while, personally, I’ve been contemplating my good fortunate at the fact that Will and David demonstrate NO impatience whatsoever with how much help I still need from them as we three continue to derive emotional strength from one another’s generosity of spirit.  

Each time I envision warm smiles lighting up loving faces waiting eagerly to welcome us home, (standing just beyond our patio’s Arcadia door in The Southwestern Desert) or I imagine smiles, greeting our own, doubling the love light conveyed from within the depths of every heart on FaceTime, I can actually feel my smile plug into a natural, mega watt energy source, which I call The Universal Spirit, that always feels as remarkable as was the first electrical circuit devised by Thomas Edison, which, with one flip of a carefully wired switch, brightened an entire room that had been dark only moments before.  

And being a woman, whose dark, shoulder length hair had been shorn, last December, during one of several hospitalizations, I’m happy to see soft, shining tuffets of pewter sprouting all over my scalp as summer temps continue to sizzle toward record breaking intensities across the nation while eggs, frying atop steaks, broiling on sidewalks offer up a minor exaggeration of what The Southwestern Portion of The USA has felt like over these brutal months of summer as if trump has literally been readying his fire breathing oratory to make his descent into the bowels of hell.

On the other hand, as Houston offers both extreme heat and humidity, I actually give thanks every time the air conditioner compressor is heard recharging itself.

Last night, my physical pain, though cradled ever so gently within the fluffy pillows that make their way from living room couch to Airbnb bed, gave me reason to experience a teary meltdown, lasting several minutes, before a powerful sleeping aid switched my last wakeful thoughts toward the fact that the surgery we’d flown here for was two weeks passed.  And soon, I’ll be home.  And no matter the intensity of heat and pain, never before in my life has my spirit felt more buoyed on the wings of love than has been true, over this past year.

As for now 

Tis time to groom, so

Please—

Be safe

Stay well

Wear masks

Vote blue

And offer your

Home schooled

Munchkins the same Admirable patience and humorous attitude You’ve expected of their teachers, every day, Throughout each school year, Monday-Friday, because if you expect the best of your children during trying times then it’s not too much for our little ones to expect the best from adults, whose love lines must run with the same level of consistency as did Edison’s wires when his goal was to re-energize the level of brightness in a room, whereas your goal and mine is to steady our focus toward re-energizing the currents of loving patience, which brighten each pair of eyes that meet our own as your circle of love and mine expand ever so naturally, with a lightness of being, day by day ...

🙋🏻‍♀️❤️😘Annie

PS. In order to keep today’s smile naturally recharged with the spirit of generosity, which, for the most part, keeps both sides of my personality balanced, I simply remind myself that today’s stranger may very well become tomorrow’s treasured friend, and based in the fact that ‘attitude is everything‘, my assumption, concerning opening my heart to welcomIng new friends, generally suggests why, during life’s most trying times, my cup runneth over with kindnesses, offered openly, generously and freely, by my family and friends 

🙋🏻‍♀️❤️🧚🏻‍♂️✍🏼🥰

MANY BEGINNINGS LEAD TO ENDINGS THAT ARE SURPRISING

 So, today, dear friend, I began to write this heartfelt message to you, because the strength of our forever friendship invites pretty much every emotion felt deep inside, even those that are too testy to bare to the world, to express themselves naturally, as though these emotions are so strong as to have hearts and minds of their own, which encourage me to accept the fact that this emotion or that one feels need to emerge and converse, openly, from time to time, with another person’s compassionate heart, and in our case, I have the benefit of knowing that your mind has been well trained in discerning which primary emotion is pushing a secondary emotion out of the way so as to fully expose itself on center stage instead of continuing to suppress its presence in the wings, where its deeper truth has been repressed for so long a time that no one remembers when or why pain, insecurity or sadness got stuffed so deep inside, out of sight in the first place.

I thought the photo posted below was a perfect metaphor showing both sides of me—the well groomed side I choose to show to the world and the churning information-seeker who retrieves forgotten details of past events that had been too complex or painful for a child to work through so as to strengthen from within at an age that proves younger than most.  And thus are both sides of me—The questioning Annie and the self assured Annie—clearly seen sharing brain space wherever we go.  However, if an innocent party, who is engaging in conversation with the secure side of my mind,  unknowingly jangles an emotionally injured nerve ending that remains unhealed then the questioning Annie may withdraw momentarily until the mature portion of my brainwaves grabs the switch, which rewires my newly exposed, negatively focused attitude so quickly that very few would have seen me stumble over insecurity, since my reset button is pressed so quickly as to pick up the slack before most have any awareness of mental changes zooming back and forth through my head.  Anyway, I wanted you to know that over this past year, both Annies feel so emotionally safe in your presence that all of my posts will come directly from the inner sanctum of my being where conversations between security and insecurity blend together so naturally that inner truths, which I’m not yet ready to tell myself, pop out of my processor’s intuitive side and filter through my wall of denial into my conscious awareness before my defense system can stuff those ‘forgotten’ details back inside one of the dark pockets of my mind.

Interesting fact—

Most details that scared me so much as to bury their existence deep within my subconscious are not nearly as scary to the adult whom I’ve chosen to grow to be, so far, today.  And as personal growth can advance forward, pretty much forever, here is why some youngsters are rightfully called ‘old souls’—Morsels of wisdom that have been planted into my brain’s memory bank will have been passed to my sons, whose open minds seem ever more ready to engage in conversations with my think tank than would be expected of men who have leaped toward middle age in the same unencumbered way as had been true of me, being that we four had walked over that threshold without leaving our intimate, good natured connection to childhood behind us—offering each of us plenty of time to coach our current generation of little ones about life during playtime so that they’re often unaware as to how much coaching is taking place.  And though I have no clue as to how today’s post began at its starting point and ended up over here, my mind has tired enough to thank you for listening right up until I choose to finish for today with three of life’s most peace sustaining words—I love you!

                ❤️😘Annie

IN RETROSPECT ...

 It’s not as if I knew I was doing far too much while we were out of the house, yesterday.  I mean, all I did was walk with walker from house to car where our tires bounced along the street until it came time to transfer me into a wheelchair outside the doctors’ offices into which I ‘stayed put’ throughout my appointments until David picked us up, at which time my smile transferred from wheelchair to front bucket seat in our small, rented, SUB and then to my walker as I made my way up the driveway toward the front door of our Airbnb and down the hall to our bedroom, first making a beeline for the small master bathroom where my kidneys clamored for relief, after which I managed to sit on the edge of our king sized bed in such a way as to catch my breath before swinging each leg solo over the mattress in slow mo, so as to lie myself down and smother my upper body in pillows so strategically placed as to help me to pretend that my sternum, front to back, was not throbbing like an electrified drum (you know, out of sight, out of mind’). 

At any rate, the Ativan swallowed about an hour ago is taking the edge off my pain, and in five minutes time, a hydro codone will offer my smile reason to hangout on my face, until, hour by hour, another day, post op, shall pass, offering my immune system time to refortify personal strengths, which had been mine before the tumor had mustered their hutzpah to invade my lung uninvited ...

A HEARTFELT SENSE OF GRATITUDE

I wrote this reply to a text received from a dear friend, who is an active member of my neighborhood book group:

Hi Renee,

Once the complexity of my answers, written to family and friends while my head is still swirling with pain meds, simplifies, over time,  I’m certain to offer up quiet smiles, which will express the depths of my heartfelt gratitude to everyone whose love or expertise took part in buoying my spirit and saving my life.

Then, acknowledging that at this late stage in our lives, we’re all pretty much recovering from some age related surgical malady, I wished my friend well in hopes that her recovery from total knee surgery continues to offer up less pain and greater motility.

🙋🏻‍♀️💐Annie

KEEPIN’ IT TOGETHER

 As it’s natural for everyone to ask how I feel, here is my reply—

If anyone knocks on your door and asks to break your sternum, front and back, simply smile and reply—

No fricking way!

Then without delay

Say—Good day!

And fast as you can

Lock yourself up safe inside.

For the first couple days after discharge, my pain meds were spaced 6 hrs apart, which saw me struggling with intense pain throughout the day.  Yesterday, my surgeon, heeding my plea, spaced doses 4 hours apart, and much to my relief, I’ve been tolerating that change much better.

To my good fortune, Will and David are the best, most patient care givers I’ve ever encountered, and one by one, the days are passing, each one improving in some infinitesimal way or another because of everyone’s loving kindnesses, which keep our cups running over with soothing thoughts of gratitude!

🙋🏻‍♀️❤️😘

LET’S NOT DO THIS AGAIN

Penned a couple of days ago—

Hopefully. Today will be a bit easier than yesterday—this nerve pain is like a vice tightened all the way around around my chest.  Hard to move anything above my waist including arms without feeling stabbed, and my swollen legs and feet feel like pillars attached to bricks, other than that, no big deal❤️🙋🏻‍♀️

This recovery continues to be the most challenging physical experience I’ve had to face—ever!

(Any chance of September’s showing up early?  Like, tomorrow?)

HERCULES SAMSON ROCKY AND ME

Lately, family and friends have dubbed me Wonder Woman, so I’m in the market for long dark hair, which I’d had but misplaced along this Rocky road; hey wait—on second thought, if Rocky entered the ring without long dark hair and, having felt knocked down for the counts, won the battle, round by round, before heading for home all stitched up (wearIng the belt of A Champ), then I, too, can complete a Herculean feat, which, during biblical times, had been attributed only to muscle bound guys, you know, like—Samson—

As joking pretty much tells me everything I need to know while my recovery begins to advance slowly, yet surely and smoothly forward, I‘ll pause for today with—

Stay safe

Mask up

Be well

Let’s unite so as to

Heal our nation

With the truth

Vote blue

Repeat

PS

Let’s leave

Wonder Woman to

Linda Carter

I’ll be happy with

Healthy Heidi

❤️🦸🏻‍♀️

ANY SEEDS BUT POPPY SEEDS—PLEASE!

 Soooo good to be ‘home’ from the hospital!  My first two meals were the most delicious I’ve ever had!

Fried rice and egg roll;

Lou Malnati’s deep dish pizza, a gift from Adam and Sami Schwartz—yum!

Transition went smoothly, and once our bedtime plan was in place, all three of us slept well, last night.  First step in night time plan, bedpan, lined with a throw-away pad and plastic bag topped by a pull tie for quick cleanup is readied right next to my side of our Airbnb bed.  At whatever ever time Will awakens to take care of his night time needs, he slides this perfect sized bedpan (chosen on Amazon) toward me.  And thanks to liners, ordered, which fully cover bedpan, no clean up is necessary as refuse is left behind in a bag with a pull tie that shortens our wakeful time.  Then, right before gently lying down beside me, Will, bright angel in the dark night, offers me pain meds, and as we both settle back to sleep soundly, again, for hours at a stretch, you can see why I say that beginning each day with this night time plan in place has proved so far so good.🙋🏻‍♀️

This morning’s combination of meds are barely keeping pain at a tolerable level as long as I don’t try to move.  The foam bed wedge we bought via amazon is strategically placed under three pillows leaning against the headboard so as to hold my head, neck and upper body at a comforting angle of repose, and little by little, swelling from fluid retention is going down.

As I eat next to nothing, my ten pound weight gain came as a huge surprise until I was reassured that, while hospitalized, fluids had been pumped into me, every day, 24/7.

Believe it or not, Will and David are finally gagging on basketball.  So let’s envision a writer’s room in which creativity is taking gargantuan leaps of faith from walls and ceilings in hopes of proding the snarling nature of the voracious bear, seen cowering neath the presidential desk in The Oval Offic, who bites everyone in sight, and thankfully, as a result of these writers working to keep hold of their sanity while craziness rages round our country, we get to binge on The Good Fight—the only TV series that takes trump and his rock headed cronies straight to the swamp,  which is deeper than ever.  And each time the writers’ words of wisdom crash into trump’s brainless cranium, we must be prepared with rain capes because a deluge of Kool aid is bound to spew all over everyone in the room.

At any rate, that’s all my intuitive think tank can easily release for, right now, other than to reiterate that in addition to Will and David exercising their hearts to meet my every need in the most loving ways, all of you, most especially, Barry and Steven, come up with ways that continue to propel this virtual magic carpet ride, which will transport us ever so caringly to my three doctors’ offices, next week, where we’ll hopefully receive the heave ho to donne our hazmat suits, fly home and begin to place the puzzle-Imme like nature of this past year and a half (ever since chest pain and misdiagnosis began) behind us, along with trump’s administration, pence’s beady-eyed insanity, and all of their green eyed,flying purple people eating cronies, who actually believe Covid is a hoax... So for our nation to overcome before our innocent children can attend schools run by clear headed adults whose minds have not bathed in vats filled with so much kool aid as has been true of the Republican Party as can be seen by their electing a sexual predator after which, they’ve remained standing in staunch support of a napoleonic figurehead, who, within the near future, foresees himself as the despicable donald, so swathed in personal power as to have transformed DC’s swamp into a poppy field under which we’ll have been bewitched to bow to his dictatorship unless Vote Blue transitions from a battle cry into a reality at the poles, come November ... so just as I have a gargantuan feat of healing ahead of me in order to reconnect every broken bone that two brilliant surgeons separated so as to scoop out the invader, which, left to its own devices, would have squeezed the life juices out of my lungs and my heart, (and since I know of no one in history who has worked toward encouraging the formation of a grass roots movement in hopes of creating lasting change for the better across the board until the deadly tumor, dwelling in The White House has been expunged, ASAP, let’s each do our part to participate in the expansion of that gargantuan leap of faith toward reunification, focusing, firstly, upon the open mindedness of children so that deeply painful national healing can get underway as we fortify our long lost sense of brotherhood and sisterhood, at long last!

I have just one more insight that longs to tickle your ear before I arise to face my daily plan for healing my body, which, upon the front side, resembles a road map from collarbone to groin while my upper back, left side, is still a mystery to me, since I can’t see around corners and thus, have no clue how much was in need of cutting and stitching after the upper third of my right lung was removed, last week.

At this point, it’s late morning, and Will’s ready to help me get cleaned up, so—more later, except to add:

Stay Well!

Be safe

Feel my love

🙋🏻‍♀️❤️

Sent from my iPhone

AND THE BEAT GOES ON

I enjoyed a private after hours party, via video texts with my sister late last night. Am always happy to see the heartfelt friendship that’s

developing between her grandsons, siblings, aged five and three—both as adorable as munchkins can be.

 Pain continues to radiate intensely from collarbone to waist around my body, but I can move my upper arms a little further from my sides, today.  Truthfully, I’ve never had to muster as much courage to open my eyes to face one day after another.  My surgeons comments about my spirit, will and physical progress encourage me to look forward to joining Will and David.  Soon.  Be well.  Stay safe.🙋🏻‍♀️❤️

PS

I think I’m about to feel happy.  Dr Chan just increased my pain meds.🙋🏻‍♀️

A MOMENT PLEASE, MR EINSTEIN

Einstein suggested that we never stop questioning, sooo being that this is the hardest recovery that I’ve ever experienced—alone—upon awakening in the hospital, each morning, I wonder if this new day will bring about Sept? Pleeze! Because this pain is intolerable.  And if not today then when, being that patience and excruciating pain are not the stuff of which light and airy soufflés are made?

Also—Has trump been tarred, feathered, masked and chased out of the Oval Office, so COVID can hop away, releasing healthy teachers and children to populate our schools?  As soon as Einstein can swoop down from on high to answer my questions, I’lI fall asleep, smiling, while hoping to magically awaken as revitalized as would a well rested wood sprite, eager to reunite with her husband and son, who await her return to the Airbnb.

Missing my loved ones sees me getting much too corny with the nurses.  In fact, I’ve been planning the great costumed candy escape from the hospital, but so far, I have no takers.  No worries as I do not easily face defeat when planning to take highly personalized leaps of faith toward pulling off escapades of an extraordinary nature, if not today then tomorrow’s only a day away—and—

‘The important thing is not to stop questioning.’

--Albert Einstein

THIS IS REALLY HARD!

Recovering from this heart/lung surgery

Takes grit of which I have plenty

Recovering from this heart/lung surgery

Takes courage of which I have plenty

Recovering from this heart/lung surgery

Takes patience of which I have plenty

And hope

And humor

And love that flows back and forth between my heart and others so naturally that social distancing creates problems, because each time I tango with a loved one our veins get so tangled as to make six feet of separation impossible—

The one thing that nine months of chemo did not leave me with plenty of was stamina, which is why my loved ones remind me to go easy on myself when I can’t live up to the expectations of the hospital staff, and having recovered the clarity, at least temporarily, to convey today’s train of thought to each of you, hopefully, you’ll respond by feeling kindly to every masked man, woman or child you happen upon while, ar the same time, you find reason to flash your mask in the mirror a smile, as well.

While I’m busy
Recuperating
Please
Be safe

Be well

And when next

We meet, instead of
Giving each other lip
I’ll bring the chips to match
Your dip as together
Leadership across the nation
Brainstorms toward
Creating a plan that will bring
Covid to irs knees so that
Each time you and I choose to
Enjoy each other, we need not fear
Each other’s sneeze

🙋🏻‍♀️🤒Annie

MY LITTLE BUDDY ...

 Can you believe it?  This hospital doesn’t serve buttery surf and juicy turf with a vodka tonic splashed over ice.  Good thing they’re great at serving up heart/lung repair as a main course! 🥰🦸🏻‍♀️🎉🎈

As you can see by my ability to joke around (after pressing my pain pump button), my recovery is going well, thus far.  My two hour heart surgery was Tuesday.  My 7 hour lung surgery was Wed.  And lots of good news, following both, made the smiles of my family and friends radiate with joy blended with relief.  Dr. Reardon ❤️ had to remove one major heart vessel and a small portion of one atrium.  Dr. Chan removed the lower portion of my right lung after seeing that the chemo had destroyed 80% of the tumor, and pathology reported that all margins are clear and all lymph nodes are clean.  Though high pain levels have had to be tolerated, my little buddy, the pain pump, has been my constant companion until, today, when I was switched to pills, so, we’ll see how that goes.

My husband and I have decided to stay in the Airbnb with David when I’m released from the hospital in a few days if all continues to go well.

I feel buoyed on love and expert medical care.
🦸🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🥰Heidi