Upon reviewing the post, titled above, insights as hot as popcorn popping kept leaping out of my think tank too fast to put a lid on my need to share each of these missiles with you, so rather than suggesting we thumb back, let’s move forward, together from here with my guarantee that your review of this train of thought will be worthy of time invested in considering why my soapbox slid out from under my desk on its own. So, get ready! Get set! Buckle up for quite a ride! Here we go!
No clue if this is true but just in case—if you see an empty bottle in your yard don’t pick it up as it may be a Drano bomb, which upon being moved explodes.
As if overcoming global crises is not enough, deranged brains purposely persist in criminal activities making trying times worse—Geez!
Thank goodness, most of our brains are connected to each other’s hearts so as to freely extend helpful hands thus expanding compassion’s circle of brotherhood, which, decade by decade, grows less exclusively isolationist, more objectively inclusive on a global scope.
Thank goodness for any degree of attitudinal change, which, proving heartfelt, no longer gives lip service to brotherhood when a miscarriage of justice, crossing your path or mine, requires our taking a united proactive stance.
And now, soap box placed under desk in readiness for next time lid pops off inside my head, releasing repressed voice of frustration secreted from the conscious portion of my mind until a subconscious reaction, having been prodded and poked one time too many, feels so provoked as to feel compelling need to express the depths of my angst clearly to me by stimulating my intuition to pen and publish a post such as this one proves to be.
One last thought for today—beware deranged brains that suggest combatting C-19 by ingesting poisonous substances bound to seriously sicken if not kill its hosts ... GSU from POTUS, who has no mindsets to speak of, because each time his mouth opens, our intelligence is reminded of what mindlessness sounds like!
Okay! Check your seat belt, because here’s where soap box pushes up against my belief that the train of thought, above, was complete.
GHU (God help us) to get out the vote in November so as to paint the electoral system so overwhelmingly blue as to sweep away any worries of red hats re-electing this dooms day machine before our nation reaches the point of no return where sanity, compassion and mindful leadership, having been so thoroughly thrashed, trashed and trumped that we need to create a new exhibit within the hallowed halls of The Smithsonian where a memorial will be erected commemorating times past where deep thinking Americans will go to ruminate over inner need to recapture a time when our founding fathers had wholly concentrated their energy upon creating a document ensuring the on-going well-being of our nation’s Caucasian men—inclusion, concerning rights of minorities, women and children to follow—offering the minds of younger generations something worthwhile to do with OUR minds during OUR lifetimes—geez—that flash of deeper truth blasting out from the intuitive portion of my processor just plopped red hats on the well-meaning heads of our forefathers, who wrote The Constitution of The United States of America to the best of their limited scope more than 245 years ago—give or take a couple of weeks.
Seriously folks—sounds like we’d all be wise to take a deeper look inside our heads to see how much red hattedness may remain repressed behind our defense systems’ self protective walls of denial, kept so well hidden from the conscious portion of our brains as to blind us to how often pots call whistling kettles black as soon as emotional heat, turned up to high, releases pent up anger, concerning Yesteryear’s injustice, which boils over on both burners while innocent little faces of every hue, tugging at our heartstrings, look up and ask—what’s everyone fighting about? Why can’t we all justjust start over and be friends? So, bending on knee, we teach our little ones to ‘like’ Henry Patrick, who’d stated clearly and courageously way back in 1775–whoa! Did I just write ‘way back’ right after our annual Seder was meant to remind me of biblical times when ‘one people’ claiming dominance over another, faced a series of plagues so as to convince the masters to let the people, led by Moses, go free, and in fear for their lives, that’s what the task masters did—until, having changed their minds, the oppressors reacted in such a vile way as to have been swallowed up by the Red Sea. Reminding us that ‘right over might wins out, eventually—which is why patience with leadership rising from ashes, like the The Phoenix, relieves the critical moment of crises within every true story.
How many times does the story of Exodus in search of the promised land (in contemporary times that distinction points directly to the lady in the harbor, whose shining light guides the poor, oppressed and weary to seek asylum in a nation that professes to welcome all who seek any kind of employment that will provide a better life for their children by way of freedom and education) need to be recited aloud before the human spirit’s eternal quest for liberty, equality and fraternity sinks into the brains of families as well as into every governing body on a global scope? Whoops! Did I mention readiness anywhere within today’s tirade?
Each nation is moving forward at its own pace. And yes. That intuitive estimation includes the Middle East. So today’s and tomorrow’s gurus have lots to teach future generations of children how to develop into adults, who, having been raised in families in which the man of the house no longer has need to see himself as master in order to feel virility’s masculinity thriving deeply throughout every intelligent crevice of his mind—though reality suggests that the monumental nature of that global change, concerning millions of years of human development doth not happen, over night, though strides toward equality concerning nationality, gender, religious belief and race have been happening in incremental steps as seen on the historical time line. And since we agree that repetition is not redundant when retention is the goal at hand then ...
It’s time to return to kindergarten. Sit in feeling circles. And start over, holding hands. Because the human spirit’s most basic, instinctual need to feel free to be you and me NEVER ENDS. Why not? Because, folks—simply put, that’s how the human spirit always works. Let freedom ring for one and all is its everlasting ‘thing’.
So when it comes to leadership
Here’s your choice and mine—which (like
taxes and death), never changes:
‘Get with the program that best fits
The human spirit on a timeless, universal basis or
Start another war by blindly and selfishly
Striving toward depriving your sisters and brothers of
Their God given right to freely pursue
Happiness and prosperity based in the acquisition of
Knowledge and hard work to succeed on their own—but
Don’t take my word for today’s post tapping into
A chilling deeper truth—instead, take
One quick glance back, over
The historical time line, thus providing
Your thought processor with unequivocal proof of
My thought processor having hit the bullseye, today
You see, I figure it this way
If deeper truth actually exists within us all then
I’d rather be a deep thinker, who feels compelled to
Write until another truth reveals itself to
My conscientious awareness before
The day dawns when intuition would offer me
Need to sit down to take a chilling look in
The mirror, which would leave my self image
Feeling utterly shocked and deflated to see that
I’d grown to be as brainwashed as is an adult
Wearing a red hat, stuffed with
Subconscious attitudes of fake superiority, which had
Somehow been plopped into my think tank somewhere
Along the long winding path that I’d followed
Eye wide shut—until just now, when
Deeper truth leaped out so clearly as if to say—
Awaken to reality, Rip Van Winkle; open your eyes, drink
Coffee not Kool Aid and get with program that
Makes sound use of heartfelt common sense, at long last!
Form a circle
Hold hands
Release tension
Smile with genuine sense of relief and
Repeat this heartfelt pledge (ala Patrick Henry) after me
Long live the good health of your human spirit and mine!
Vive La liberte!
Liberty! Equality! Fraternity!
Amen!
(No variation of Sieg Heil! to be proclaimed, seen or heard within
Homes occupied by parents and kids throughout the world!)
Too Pollyanna for you? Listen up!
How many times has history demanded that deep thinkers
Stop pointing fingers at one another?
Form a circle
Hold hands
Release tension
Smile with genuine sense of relief and
Repeat this heartfelt pledge (ala Patrick Henry) after me
Long live the good health of your human spirit and mine!
Vive La liberte!
Liberty! Equality! Fraternity! until we’ve successfully
Switched subconscious attitudes from vindicating yesterday’s
Vile transgressions in favor of making sound use of
Intelligence so as to readily seek solutions to TODAY’S problems
Amen!
Whew! Soap box placed under desk.
Brain needs a rest.
🙋🏻♀️Annie
Thursday, April 30, 2020
Tuesday, April 28, 2020
10 THE ESSENTIAL PRESENCE OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT’S SPARKLING EFFERVESCENCE
Steven just sent me
Two videos of Ravi, who, being
A naturally unselfconscious child of
Five, harbors little awareness of
Growing as beautiful as
A magical water sprite as time flies by
And though Ravi and Gramma enjoy play dates
Via cyberspace, several times weekly
The vibrancy of our energy exchange—which
Under normal circumstances is
Naturally palpably conducted from
Within the depths of one of us throughout
The depths of the other—is deeply missed as
I watch the essential vivacity of
My grand daughter’s sprite-like spirit (by way of
A screen) developing her ability to dance, leap and
Skip through this five year old stage of
Her young life as much as
My eyes miss connecting
Ever so naturally with
My son, Steven’s eyes as
We smile lovingly at
His daughter’s age appropriate antics, which
In this day and age are caught on
Camera much more often than not
In fact, there’s so much missed about
Our well balanced, daily lives, which
We’d all enjoyed but
Had taken for granted, that
It seems as if need to quarantine, over
An extensive time—no end in sight—
May offer each of us reason to become
Ever more consciously aware of
The immeasurable depths of
Our love for family and friends as
Weeks turn into—months, and
When I ask myself how deeply is
Our west coast crew missed by
Desert dwellers—Well—missing
Each of our loved ones deeply is
A given being that this much time
Has never gone by without
Their flying here or we there, being that
A heartfelt sense of togetherness is ‘Our Thing’
Thank goodness, we received good—wait—
Make that really GREAT news, recently
Concerning the fact that my PET CT shows
My current protocol of chemo battling
The active nature of the sarcoma that
Invaded my right lung, uninvited, because
If the PET scan had offered up
The opposite result, suggesting
This protocol of chemo doing little to
Deactivate this sarcoma (as is sadly true for
75% of patients whose fervent hopes to
Experience my result prove to be dashed) then
The well balanced state of
My peace of mind, which
Buoys my spirit through
Trying times, would surely need
A safety net installed beneath
The courage I must muster each time
An intuitive flash of reality rides out of
The depths of my mind during each
Insight-driven moment as
This one proves to be ...
I mean, while everyone around
The world is quarantining, it’s easy to
Forget why I have need of chemo, at all!
The fact of the matter is this:
As long as the C-19 virus doesn’t catch up with me
I, conveniently forgetting excessive fatigue, mistakenly
Think of myself as being as healthy as can be
Sooo—here’s the thing—now that the novelty of quarantining has worn thin, our attitudes may begin to look ahead with a sense of heaviness weighing our spirits down—unless—you and I remain amongst those who know themselves as so fortunate as to acknowledge that all of our loved ones are at home, taking every precautionary measure to stay healthy, and in that positively focused, proactive fashion do our think tanks choose to jump start our heartfelt connection to gratitude rather than passively watching our de-energized batteries idling, yet again.🙋🏻♀️❤️🌈🌻Annie
Two videos of Ravi, who, being
A naturally unselfconscious child of
Five, harbors little awareness of
Growing as beautiful as
A magical water sprite as time flies by
Via cyberspace, several times weekly
The vibrancy of our energy exchange—which
Under normal circumstances is
Naturally palpably conducted from
Within the depths of one of us throughout
The depths of the other—is deeply missed as
I watch the essential vivacity of
My grand daughter’s sprite-like spirit (by way of
A screen) developing her ability to dance, leap and
Skip through this five year old stage of
Her young life as much as
My eyes miss connecting
Ever so naturally with
My son, Steven’s eyes as
We smile lovingly at
His daughter’s age appropriate antics, which
In this day and age are caught on
Camera much more often than not
In fact, there’s so much missed about
Our well balanced, daily lives, which
We’d all enjoyed but
Had taken for granted, that
It seems as if need to quarantine, over
An extensive time—no end in sight—
May offer each of us reason to become
Ever more consciously aware of
The immeasurable depths of
Our love for family and friends as
Weeks turn into—months, and
When I ask myself how deeply is
Our west coast crew missed by
Desert dwellers—Well—missing
Each of our loved ones deeply is
A given being that this much time
Has never gone by without
Their flying here or we there, being that
A heartfelt sense of togetherness is ‘Our Thing’
Thank goodness, we received good—wait—
Make that really GREAT news, recently
Concerning the fact that my PET CT shows
My current protocol of chemo battling
The active nature of the sarcoma that
Invaded my right lung, uninvited, because
If the PET scan had offered up
The opposite result, suggesting
This protocol of chemo doing little to
Deactivate this sarcoma (as is sadly true for
75% of patients whose fervent hopes to
Experience my result prove to be dashed) then
The well balanced state of
My peace of mind, which
Buoys my spirit through
Trying times, would surely need
A safety net installed beneath
The courage I must muster each time
An intuitive flash of reality rides out of
The depths of my mind during each
Insight-driven moment as
This one proves to be ...
I mean, while everyone around
The world is quarantining, it’s easy to
Forget why I have need of chemo, at all!
The fact of the matter is this:
As long as the C-19 virus doesn’t catch up with me
I, conveniently forgetting excessive fatigue, mistakenly
Think of myself as being as healthy as can be
Sooo—here’s the thing—now that the novelty of quarantining has worn thin, our attitudes may begin to look ahead with a sense of heaviness weighing our spirits down—unless—you and I remain amongst those who know themselves as so fortunate as to acknowledge that all of our loved ones are at home, taking every precautionary measure to stay healthy, and in that positively focused, proactive fashion do our think tanks choose to jump start our heartfelt connection to gratitude rather than passively watching our de-energized batteries idling, yet again.🙋🏻♀️❤️🌈🌻Annie
Sunday, April 26, 2020
GOD SAVE US FROM DERANGED MINDS EXACERBATING TRYING TIMES
No clue if this is true but just in case—if you see an empty bottle in your yard don’t pick it up as it may be a Drano bomb, which upon being moved explodes.
As if overcoming global crises is not enough, deranged brains purposely persist in criminal activities making trying times worse—Geez!
Thank goodness, most of our brains are connected to each other’s hearts so as to freely extend helpful hands thus expanding compassion’s circle of brotherhood, which, decade by decade, grows less exclusively isolationist, more objectively inclusive on a global scope.
Thank goodness for attitudinal changes, which, proving heartfelt, give lip service less often to brotherhood when a miscarriage of justice, crossing your path or mine, requires our taking a united proactive stance, which, with education, historically expands attitudinal changes for the betterment of one and all.
Okay. Soap box placed under desk in readiness for next time lid pops inside my head, releasing repressed voice of frustration secreted from the conscious portion of my mind by my defense system until a subconscious reaction, having been poked, feels so provoked as to feel need to express the depths of my angst clearly to me by way of stimulating my intuition to pen and publish a post like this one proves to be.
One last thought for today—beware deranged brains that suggest combatting C-19 by ingesting poisonous substances bound to seriously sicken if not kill its hosts ... GSU from POTUS!
As if overcoming global crises is not enough, deranged brains purposely persist in criminal activities making trying times worse—Geez!
Thank goodness, most of our brains are connected to each other’s hearts so as to freely extend helpful hands thus expanding compassion’s circle of brotherhood, which, decade by decade, grows less exclusively isolationist, more objectively inclusive on a global scope.
Thank goodness for attitudinal changes, which, proving heartfelt, give lip service less often to brotherhood when a miscarriage of justice, crossing your path or mine, requires our taking a united proactive stance, which, with education, historically expands attitudinal changes for the betterment of one and all.
Okay. Soap box placed under desk in readiness for next time lid pops inside my head, releasing repressed voice of frustration secreted from the conscious portion of my mind by my defense system until a subconscious reaction, having been poked, feels so provoked as to feel need to express the depths of my angst clearly to me by way of stimulating my intuition to pen and publish a post like this one proves to be.
One last thought for today—beware deranged brains that suggest combatting C-19 by ingesting poisonous substances bound to seriously sicken if not kill its hosts ... GSU from POTUS!
7a AND WHAT OF THE COURAGE DEMANDED OF FIRST RESPONDERS’ FAMILIES?
Thank goodness, everyone recognizes and heralds the courage demanded of medical teams who are today’s first responders concerning ministering to our current health crises. And what of the courage demanded of families of first responders?
Though I can understand the mindset of people whose personal fear of pending poverty may not think so objectively as to place saving lives above our failing economy, we can’t place ourselves and our young at risk, knowing full well that opening our doors to a second round with this deadly virus will kill so many that another ‘world war’ to defeat this invisible enemy will have to be fought on a global scope, setting each of us up to soldier the same dire consequences accompanying quarantine that we’re confronting, right now. You don’t jump out of a plane, midair, for fear of crashing.
Parachutes, also known as vaccines, have yet to appear during this crises.
I think about my nephew, the ER doc, his wife and four children, every single day, and hope that they can feel their aunt and uncle’s fervent wish for their continued good health flying from our southwest desert home, across the miles to North Carolina, as our hearts long to hold all of theirs close to our own.
Once again—
My nephew, the ER doc, who is a former paramedic firefighter, set the record straight when he said—I’m accustomed to running into burning buildings. What I’m not accustomed to is the possibility of fires following me home.
👩🏻👨🏼🍳❤️🌈🌻
Though I can understand the mindset of people whose personal fear of pending poverty may not think so objectively as to place saving lives above our failing economy, we can’t place ourselves and our young at risk, knowing full well that opening our doors to a second round with this deadly virus will kill so many that another ‘world war’ to defeat this invisible enemy will have to be fought on a global scope, setting each of us up to soldier the same dire consequences accompanying quarantine that we’re confronting, right now. You don’t jump out of a plane, midair, for fear of crashing.
Parachutes, also known as vaccines, have yet to appear during this crises.
I think about my nephew, the ER doc, his wife and four children, every single day, and hope that they can feel their aunt and uncle’s fervent wish for their continued good health flying from our southwest desert home, across the miles to North Carolina, as our hearts long to hold all of theirs close to our own.
Once again—
My nephew, the ER doc, who is a former paramedic firefighter, set the record straight when he said—I’m accustomed to running into burning buildings. What I’m not accustomed to is the possibility of fires following me home.
👩🏻👨🏼🍳❤️🌈🌻
Saturday, April 25, 2020
HOW COULD A HINT OF WHITE FUZZ FEEL LIKE SUCH A BIG DEAL DURING TIMES OF CRISES?
Good Morning, Dear Friends, 😘
I hope all is well at your end and that healing continues to move forward wherever necessary. I began to awaken, mentally, yesterday afternoon (after my last chemo infusion, more than a week ago) with a healthy appetite, again.
Will makes sure that I put away four small meals a day. In addition to that, as of late, I savor a small slice of Sara Lee cheese cake (how long has it been since you’ve tasted that?) and a Dove Bar (the dark chocolate’s the best!) every evening—ice cream not before nine! As those kinds of indulgences will be hard to give up once this ‘cancer thing’ is over and my weight stabilizes, I savor each bite, every day—the cheese cake alternating with hot apple pie or whatever else takes my fancy.
Makes sense that thoughts of Food and TP go together since what goes in must come out—haha!
I hope your days are going well. As for me, grooming myself will take less than ten minutes flat being that I roam no further than our patio; no one comes to visit and there’s no reason to blow dry hair that isn’t there except for the hint of milky fuzz that answers to my touch each time my hand caresses my scalp, which has recently become some kind of self soothing habit, and the same proves true of enjoying our patio’s cushioned, two seater swing.
Though it’s quiet, days pass peaceably so that, before we know it, another weekend has come and gone, and, once again, the next week of quarantine begins, anew ....
Will’s culinary adventures continue to create dishes that delight our palates. Last night’s delectable main course proved to be Chicken Parmesan par excellence!
P has required light-hearted ‘stuff’ as found in Reader’s Digest (large print, no need to squint😊) that’s beginning to change for the better, as taking my cue from RD, I ordered several large print novels from Amazon and having enjoyed reading one, the second is on my nightstand, so if you’ve read anything that I might enjoy to pass the time, your recommendations, placed in comment box, are always welcome. I’m considering ordering additional novels published in large print being that holding a real book in hand feels somehow
Pcomforting as we continue to stay at home except for those times when an appointment at Mayo calls my name.
The most satisfying portion of my day (with the exception of those occasions spent FaceTiming Ravi) is spent, swaying peaceably on my two-seater, padded patio swing, where my gaze lands on springtime’s blooming foliage, so beautiful as to take my breath away until, having fallen into a trancelike state, my eyelids grow heavy as I drift off into Dreamland, where cradled in my magic place, I feel as secure as a well fed babe, napping in a crib. On the other hand, though my days are pleasant enough that’s not to say that my heart won’t rejoice with delight to hug loved ones, who are missed like crazy once sound reason for quarantine lifts.
We’re all going to rejoice, big time, once this pandemic has passed and hugging loved ones, whom we miss like crazy, is a common occurrence, again! There’s so much we won’t take for granted about yesterday’s daily life! I long to enjoy personal conversations and discussions concerning literature that have something profound to say —not on Zoom but rather face to face in the same room with those I enjoy and miss—A LOT! On the other hand, not until today’s train of thought matches reality’s change for the better in terms of our health status will you see me going out and about anywhere other than Mayo or, eventually, MD Anderson.
P
And so dear friend, until that blessed time of release is yours and mine—please—feel my love while you and I ... Stay home. Stay well. Stay safe, busy and sane!
🙋🏻♀️❤️😘🌈🌻Annie
Sent from my iPad
I hope all is well at your end and that healing continues to move forward wherever necessary. I began to awaken, mentally, yesterday afternoon (after my last chemo infusion, more than a week ago) with a healthy appetite, again.
Will makes sure that I put away four small meals a day. In addition to that, as of late, I savor a small slice of Sara Lee cheese cake (how long has it been since you’ve tasted that?) and a Dove Bar (the dark chocolate’s the best!) every evening—ice cream not before nine! As those kinds of indulgences will be hard to give up once this ‘cancer thing’ is over and my weight stabilizes, I savor each bite, every day—the cheese cake alternating with hot apple pie or whatever else takes my fancy.
Makes sense that thoughts of Food and TP go together since what goes in must come out—haha!
I hope your days are going well. As for me, grooming myself will take less than ten minutes flat being that I roam no further than our patio; no one comes to visit and there’s no reason to blow dry hair that isn’t there except for the hint of milky fuzz that answers to my touch each time my hand caresses my scalp, which has recently become some kind of self soothing habit, and the same proves true of enjoying our patio’s cushioned, two seater swing.
Will’s culinary adventures continue to create dishes that delight our palates. Last night’s delectable main course proved to be Chicken Parmesan par excellence!
P
P
The chef’s Masterpiece—Magnificent!!
Though I’ve not been able to wrap my head around any reading material that would entice me to think deep as keeping my spirit buoyed, over these past six months,pP has required light-hearted ‘stuff’ as found in Reader’s Digest (large print, no need to squint😊) that’s beginning to change for the better, as taking my cue from RD, I ordered several large print novels from Amazon and having enjoyed reading one, the second is on my nightstand, so if you’ve read anything that I might enjoy to pass the time, your recommendations, placed in comment box, are always welcome. I’m considering ordering additional novels published in large print being that holding a real book in hand feels somehow
Pcomforting as we continue to stay at home except for those times when an appointment at Mayo calls my name.
The most satisfying portion of my day (with the exception of those occasions spent FaceTiming Ravi) is spent, swaying peaceably on my two-seater, padded patio swing, where my gaze lands on springtime’s blooming foliage, so beautiful as to take my breath away until, having fallen into a trancelike state, my eyelids grow heavy as I drift off into Dreamland, where cradled in my magic place, I feel as secure as a well fed babe, napping in a crib. On the other hand, though my days are pleasant enough that’s not to say that my heart won’t rejoice with delight to hug loved ones, who are missed like crazy once sound reason for quarantine lifts.
We’re all going to rejoice, big time, once this pandemic has passed and hugging loved ones, whom we miss like crazy, is a common occurrence, again! There’s so much we won’t take for granted about yesterday’s daily life! I long to enjoy personal conversations and discussions concerning literature that have something profound to say —not on Zoom but rather face to face in the same room with those I enjoy and miss—A LOT! On the other hand, not until today’s train of thought matches reality’s change for the better in terms of our health status will you see me going out and about anywhere other than Mayo or, eventually, MD Anderson.
P
And so dear friend, until that blessed time of release is yours and mine—please—feel my love while you and I ... Stay home. Stay well. Stay safe, busy and sane!
🙋🏻♀️❤️😘🌈🌻Annie
Friday, April 24, 2020
ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS ASKED BY MY FRIEND, WHICH I FORGOT TO ANSWER
My friend, Barb, asked if I was surprised at who’d not shown up when my cancer was diagnosed. My reply—I have no clue who would have stepped back had I not emailed the news to my dearest friends, who, over these past 76 years, number many. I believe my keep-in-contact character trait was born when my grandfather and baby sister died, six weeks apart, and I grew up to be subconsciously afraid of loved ones disappearing without a trace if I didn’t keep close tabs on them. Needless to say, in the absence of astute therapy, I’d have developed no clue as to where, when and why many of my personal strengths and vulnerabilities originated.
My friend Barb asked if I’d felt need to connect with lung cancer survivors—my reply—
My friend Barb asked if I’d felt need to connect with lung cancer survivors—my reply—
By the time I was diagnosed at 75, Will had recovered from cancer as had so many of our dear friends that they (and our sons) formed the core of my expansive support group, and perhaps the fact that my friendships are peopled with so many survivors offers the primary reason as to why my spirit, feeling securely cushioned and encircled right from the start, continues to feel buoyed on the wings of love from the inside out straight through to and inclusive of today.
Interestingly, it was not during times of life threatening illness that saw me shocked at those who’d not rallied round. It was during a time of pain-wracked personal growth, close to 30 years ago, when Will and I’d separated for several months that back handed gossip got back to me (as it always does) concerning rumors, which had offered falsehoods that had directly opposed the truth, letting me know who my true friends were and were not, as some chose to put me down, pour salt into my wounds and ice me out when my vulnerability was rawly exposed, and as healing from that unexpected experience provided quite the painful eye-opener concerning human nature, from then on, my choice of friends narrowed to those whom I’d respectfully chosen rather than harboring immature need to be amongst the chosen.
As a matter of fact, my current circle of friends is not a circle, at all. My friendships are peopled by individuals, who, being active in large social circles, appeal to Will or to me or to both of us as being unique in some way that, for sound reason, we’ve come to respect, admire and love. And thus is our current circle of friends of our own choosing.
About twenty five years ago, I initiated the formation of a neighborhood book group, born of my desire to befriend neighbors, who’d naturally ‘thunk deep’, and over time, our circle, which gathers on Mondays, grew so expansive as to have lost the intimacy that I’d originally craved, though that’s not why my presence became scare. I was seriously unwell for a number of years; then David and my mom were seriously unwell, simultaneously, and over these past five years, with the birth of my grand daughter, Ravi, Mondays and Thursdays saw me enjoying this precious child, all day long, until Steven would come from the office and join us for dinner. My enjoyment of book club resumed once Ravi started school.😊
So, thank you, Barbara for your patience with my forgetfulness concerning answering these questions—having learned that chemo brain is a real thing, I choose to cut my forgetfulness the same sweetened slice of compassion that my heart offers my loved ones with generosity of spirit intact.😊
We four will have such fun when going to dinner with friends feels safe, again! Be well😘
🙋🏻♀️😍Annie
Thursday, April 23, 2020
ADDICTED TO HOPE—FOREVER—I HOPE!
I received permission to post the Email below received from a friend—
Annie,
Annie,
Your most recent health update poetically touched on issues those of us who have had cancer relate to. What is the right protocol – hopefully one that kills cancer without destroying a body part.
For 3 months I was treated for a rash my oncologist said unequivocally was not caused by chemo - it disappeared after chemo. After chemo I had shortness of breath and was afraid chemo had affected my heart. Again the doctor said this side effect was a ‘mystery’, indicating it was all in my mind.
Often doctors don’t agree, which adds to the stress. In one day at 10:00 a.m. I was told, “Michael has a rare lymphoma tumor—no surgery”.
At 1:00 p.m. “Michael has a glioblastoma tumor, which will be removed surgically.” This doctor was so inarticulate I told the head nurse, “either he is on drugs or he is autistic” She admitted he is autistic (but has a great mind).
At 5:00 p.m. a radiologist, “we will eradicate with radiation”.
At 7:00 p.m. an oncologist, “we will eradicate with chemo’”. I told this doctor I would not let him treat my cat. Of course, I’ve had to eat my words since this doctor’s protocol saved Michael!
There was a beautiful article in today’s Republic by Gerda Klein. She was asked what saved her life during the Holocaust. She replied, “Hope”. Annie, your update is full of hope. You go girl!
Xoxo
Barb
Hi Barb
Emotion expressed in your email has touched my heart with tenderness born of empathetic truth suggesting the voice of one soul clearly identifying with the soulful need of another ...
And so, all four of us have struggled with cancer along with the imperfections inherent within the ‘practice’ of medicine. And just as we experience both sides of most everything offered up during our lifetimes—we four have experienced the imperfect practice of medicine amidst the miracles of highly trained, medical magicians.
You know the heart-stirring song—I Will Survive—?
Well in the case of we four, the title needs changing to—
I Will Thrive! Being that surviving vs thriving is
A matter of attitude, which is a personal choice
A matter of attitude, which is a personal choice
Thank you so much for making my day!
Once this pandemic stops gnawing and biting
Let’s plan to enjoy dinner, together, again!
Warmest hugs to you and Mike!
🙋🏻♀️❤️😍🌈🌻Annie
PS
Several years back
My therapist concluded that
I’m addicted to hope
Thank God, she’s right!😄
PSS
Gerta Klein, whose memoir
(became an academy award
Winning documentary produced by
Steven Spielberg) is titled
ALL BUT MY LIFE
Gerta is the mother of one of
My dear friends—whenever
Gerta speaks of her life
Not a dry eye is to be seen
Here, there, anywhere
Over many years
Will has felt honored to
Have Gerta as his patient
On the day when
A young, emaciated woman named
Gerta was freed from the camps
A young American G.I.
Held open a door for her to
Walk through toward freedom
Gerta stopped in her tracks so
He could go first
When he indicated that
She should precede him
Gerta whispered
But I am a Jew
The young G.I. replied
So am I
The name of the young G.I.
Was Kurt Klein
(May he Rest In Peace)
Kurt Klein, Gerta’s
Beloved husband
Fathered my dear friend ...
Each time an addiction to
Hope intertwines with Love
Good overcomes evil
And, yet again, do we find that
It’s a small, small world ...
PSS
Gerta Klein, whose memoir
(became an academy award
Winning documentary produced by
Steven Spielberg) is titled
ALL BUT MY LIFE
Gerta is the mother of one of
My dear friends—whenever
Gerta speaks of her life
Not a dry eye is to be seen
Here, there, anywhere
Over many years
Will has felt honored to
Have Gerta as his patient
On the day when
A young, emaciated woman named
Gerta was freed from the camps
A young American G.I.
Held open a door for her to
Walk through toward freedom
Gerta stopped in her tracks so
He could go first
When he indicated that
She should precede him
Gerta whispered
But I am a Jew
The young G.I. replied
So am I
The name of the young G.I.
Was Kurt Klein
(May he Rest In Peace)
Kurt Klein, Gerta’s
Beloved husband
Fathered my dear friend ...
Each time an addiction to
Hope intertwines with Love
Good overcomes evil
And, yet again, do we find that
It’s a small, small world ...
Wednesday, April 22, 2020
BELLYBUTTON TIME
A Passover afterthought—
While growing up in the Midwest
Both of my family’s
Annual Passover Seders were
Seen as solemn occasions led by
Elders, commemorating
Bitter tears shed by our ancestors, who
During biblical times, had been
Forced to endure the cold-hearted lash of
Slavery for centuries in Egypt ...
And so, what has changed
—Dramatically—between
Seders conducted during my youth and
Seders created to educate
Children, today, concerning
Everyone’s need to take
A proactive part to liberate
Those, who, remaining enslaved
Have yet to experience the joys inherent
Within the universal concept of
Brotherhood, which develops with
A flourish whenever
People work together in hopes of
Regaining and maintaining
Every person’s right to
Ring the bell of freedom throughout
The USA and beyond ...
Whereas yesteryear’s Seders were
Long, solemn and boring
Our family Seders, beginning when
My three sons were a trio of
Rambunctious little boys, continue to be
Geared toward steering young
Compassionate hearts to actively
Participate in the retelling of
Our story of Jewish emancipation with
An element of merriness so as to
Memorialize the Passover story in
Such a well balanced manner as to
Encourage our children’s trains of thought to
Engage with pages of the Haggadah so as to
Retain a well rounded view of
Our ancestors’ lives during slavery
As well as after the parting of
The Red Sea when
The Jewish people had, most likely
Wandered in circles, no compass to
Guide them, through desert terrain for
Forty years until slave mentality had
Worn so thin that inner strengths, which
Had need of time to develop, saw
A liberated people enter
The promised Land, attitudes focused upon
The original creation of the now thriving nation of
The Jewish State of Israel, which
Having been officially reclaimed and
Named in the aftermath of WWII’s
Horrific Holocaust, we can be seen
Rejoicing during certain portions of
Our seders, today ... And just as
Some things are bound to
Change (the birth of democracy) while
Others (tyrants enslaving people) stay the same
We, who support a democratic philosophy
Stand united upon the unyielding
Conviction ofbour belief that
All precious children, the world over, today
Deserve the same Human Rights of
Liberation, freedom and merriment that
Inspired a downtrodden, whiplashed
Multi-generation of slaves to stand up and
Follow their courageous leader, Moses, right up to
The border of The Promised Land, where, with
Two tablets, comprising
The Ten Commandments in hand
The populous was granted entry while
Moses was not—(do you know why not?)
If there’s
A time to dance
A time to sing
A time to cry
A time to laugh
Then let’s designate
A time, right now, to
Check out
My two year old great nephew, who
Can clearly be seen in the video below
Feeling absolutely free to
Contemplate his belly button as
Munchkins the world over have been
Known to do no matter what
Anyone else thinks is proper or not ...
🙋🏻♀️😄🌈🌻
While growing up in the Midwest
Both of my family’s
Annual Passover Seders were
Seen as solemn occasions led by
Elders, commemorating
Bitter tears shed by our ancestors, who
During biblical times, had been
Forced to endure the cold-hearted lash of
Slavery for centuries in Egypt ...
And so, what has changed
—Dramatically—between
Seders conducted during my youth and
Seders created to educate
Children, today, concerning
Everyone’s need to take
A proactive part to liberate
Those, who, remaining enslaved
Have yet to experience the joys inherent
Within the universal concept of
Brotherhood, which develops with
A flourish whenever
People work together in hopes of
Regaining and maintaining
Every person’s right to
Ring the bell of freedom throughout
The USA and beyond ...
Whereas yesteryear’s Seders were
Long, solemn and boring
Our family Seders, beginning when
My three sons were a trio of
Rambunctious little boys, continue to be
Geared toward steering young
Compassionate hearts to actively
Participate in the retelling of
Our story of Jewish emancipation with
An element of merriness so as to
Memorialize the Passover story in
Such a well balanced manner as to
Encourage our children’s trains of thought to
Engage with pages of the Haggadah so as to
Retain a well rounded view of
Our ancestors’ lives during slavery
As well as after the parting of
The Red Sea when
The Jewish people had, most likely
Wandered in circles, no compass to
Guide them, through desert terrain for
Forty years until slave mentality had
Worn so thin that inner strengths, which
Had need of time to develop, saw
A liberated people enter
The promised Land, attitudes focused upon
The original creation of the now thriving nation of
The Jewish State of Israel, which
Having been officially reclaimed and
Named in the aftermath of WWII’s
Horrific Holocaust, we can be seen
Rejoicing during certain portions of
Our seders, today ... And just as
Some things are bound to
Change (the birth of democracy) while
Others (tyrants enslaving people) stay the same
We, who support a democratic philosophy
Stand united upon the unyielding
Conviction ofbour belief that
All precious children, the world over, today
Deserve the same Human Rights of
Liberation, freedom and merriment that
Inspired a downtrodden, whiplashed
Multi-generation of slaves to stand up and
Follow their courageous leader, Moses, right up to
The border of The Promised Land, where, with
Two tablets, comprising
The Ten Commandments in hand
The populous was granted entry while
Moses was not—(do you know why not?)
If there’s
A time to dance
A time to sing
A time to cry
A time to laugh
Then let’s designate
A time, right now, to
Check out
My two year old great nephew, who
Can clearly be seen in the video below
Feeling absolutely free to
Contemplate his belly button as
Munchkins the world over have been
Known to do no matter what
Anyone else thinks is proper or not ...
🙋🏻♀️😄🌈🌻
Tuesday, April 21, 2020
WHAT IF FUZZIE WUZZY WAS—ME?
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
And, like me, he had no hair
In fact, if Fuzzy was a bear covered
Head to toe in fur then
Wouldn’t ya think that
I, being a peep with
No hair no fur, at all, would have had
Little in common with
This fuzzy critter until my intuition chose to
Take a closer look into the magnified side of
My mirror where, much to my amazement
I came face to face with
A fuzzy creature, though
This Fuzzy Wuzzy, staring back
Was not a bear, being that
The mirror we’re talkin’ bout is
Mine, which makes it highly likely that
This Fuzzy Wuzzy creature is ME
What? How in tarnation can that be?
Well—here’s how my transformation
Came to light seemingly—over night
You see, having transformed from
A long, dark haired lass into
A bald headed peep, I became
An over night sensation to myself as
My awareness of countless white fuzzies
Sprouting sraight through
The smooth slickness of
My hairless scalp, showed me to be
A brand new Fuzzy creature, who
Not being a bear, can testify that
My fuzzy wuzziness is based in this fact—
Ever since the blessed day of my birth
This gal has always been
A peep with the darkest of hair until
Chemo came along, followed by
Covid-19, which, upon coming
Together, offered yours truly that which
Feels like sci-fi paranormal, and if it’s true that
Today’s new normal is going to become
Tomorrow’s Thing then you may
Want to ask what makes me question
Whether or not the new fuzzy nature of
This white headed creature
Staring out of my mirror resembles
A polar bear aptly named
Fuzzy Wuzzy for sound reason ...
Seriously—as of late
I’ve had the craziest
Midnight craving for
Marshmallow and penguin
Sandwiches—hold the crust
Just kidding!
I love penguins but not to eat!
It’s just that at this late point in
My life, this Snow White sensation is
Still brand new; in fact, I’d be surprised if
It showed up in a photo, as of yet, so
No snapshots of Fuzzy Wuzzy Annie sans
Hat, turban or cap will be offered till
Whensoever my snow capped scalp
Can be sighted without need to get so
Close and personal as to squint ...
And, like me, he had no hair
In fact, if Fuzzy was a bear covered
Head to toe in fur then
Wouldn’t ya think that
I, being a peep with
No hair no fur, at all, would have had
Little in common with
This fuzzy critter until my intuition chose to
Take a closer look into the magnified side of
My mirror where, much to my amazement
I came face to face with
A fuzzy creature, though
This Fuzzy Wuzzy, staring back
Was not a bear, being that
The mirror we’re talkin’ bout is
Mine, which makes it highly likely that
This Fuzzy Wuzzy creature is ME
What? How in tarnation can that be?
Well—here’s how my transformation
Came to light seemingly—over night
You see, having transformed from
A long, dark haired lass into
A bald headed peep, I became
An over night sensation to myself as
My awareness of countless white fuzzies
Sprouting sraight through
The smooth slickness of
My hairless scalp, showed me to be
A brand new Fuzzy creature, who
Not being a bear, can testify that
My fuzzy wuzziness is based in this fact—
Ever since the blessed day of my birth
This gal has always been
A peep with the darkest of hair until
Chemo came along, followed by
Covid-19, which, upon coming
Together, offered yours truly that which
Feels like sci-fi paranormal, and if it’s true that
Today’s new normal is going to become
Tomorrow’s Thing then you may
Want to ask what makes me question
Whether or not the new fuzzy nature of
This white headed creature
Staring out of my mirror resembles
A polar bear aptly named
Fuzzy Wuzzy for sound reason ...
Seriously—as of late
I’ve had the craziest
Midnight craving for
Marshmallow and penguin
Sandwiches—hold the crust
Just kidding!
I love penguins but not to eat!
It’s just that at this late point in
My life, this Snow White sensation is
Still brand new; in fact, I’d be surprised if
It showed up in a photo, as of yet, so
No snapshots of Fuzzy Wuzzy Annie sans
Hat, turban or cap will be offered till
Whensoever my snow capped scalp
Can be sighted without need to get so
Close and personal as to squint ...
Monday, April 20, 2020
YODA’S DISCIPLE, ANNIE, AND TP, EMPOWERED BY ‘THE FORCE’
Stop the presses!
Good News! Again!
This time concerning my ordering TP!
Will is overjoyed!
Once delivered by Amazon
Each roll must be used
Sparingly and very carefully so as
Not to scratch or chafe, because
Judging from the price
I expect every precious square to be
Jewel encrusted ... and
As our newfound treasure is
Due to be delivered mid May
We’ll be sure to make use of
Our present stash, sparingly, till
Reinforcements arrive, suggesting that
The immediate-gratification-generation is
Receiving a much needed lesson in
The wisdom inherent within
Human need to consciously develop
Heightened levels of patience ...
So sayth Yoda’s disciple, Annie—
May The Force of positive focus be
Within you, brightening your
Spirit’s attitude throughout
All of your days
Cheers! Salut! L’Chaim! Whathaveyou!
Whereverwithinoursmallsmallworldyoudwell!
🙋🏻♀️🥰🌈🌻Annie, Disciple of Yoda
Sooo—what, you may ask, are creative parents doing to
Peaceably enforce The Force while homeschooling?
They’re enlisting the aid of Jedi Warriors holding baby Yodas made of ...
toilet paper rolls
Good News! Again!
This time concerning my ordering TP!
Will is overjoyed!
Once delivered by Amazon
Each roll must be used
Sparingly and very carefully so as
Not to scratch or chafe, because
Judging from the price
I expect every precious square to be
Jewel encrusted ... and
As our newfound treasure is
Due to be delivered mid May
We’ll be sure to make use of
Our present stash, sparingly, till
Reinforcements arrive, suggesting that
The immediate-gratification-generation is
Receiving a much needed lesson in
The wisdom inherent within
Human need to consciously develop
Heightened levels of patience ...
So sayth Yoda’s disciple, Annie—
May The Force of positive focus be
Within you, brightening your
Spirit’s attitude throughout
All of your days
Cheers! Salut! L’Chaim! Whathaveyou!
Whereverwithinoursmallsmallworldyoudwell!
🙋🏻♀️🥰🌈🌻Annie, Disciple of Yoda
Sooo—what, you may ask, are creative parents doing to
Peaceably enforce The Force while homeschooling?
They’re enlisting the aid of Jedi Warriors holding baby Yodas made of ...
toilet paper rolls
Sunday, April 19, 2020
FOR SOUND REASON, I FEEL MY HEART PUMPING PURE LOVE THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE BEING🥰
My reply to a dear friend who sent me this video via a text in which her written words expressed how much she and her five year old daughter, Keira, missed planning play dates with Ravi and me —
One caution before posting my reply—please note that I offered my friend the same caution that you’re about to absorb below😊
Good morning, dear friend,
Please remember that my mind, having a mind of its own, leaps into expansion mode, which was exactly what happened while watching this video of Keira’s lovely smile enjoying this charming bird as your sweet voice floated into my ear, reaching clear into my heart, and as a heartfelt sense of nostalgia arose from deep within my soul I yearned for times past when reason to quarantine did not exist, and all that was needed to connect our spirits, face to face, was to choose to stop our merry-go-round lives, momentarily, so as to match up a date, time and meeting place on your calendar and mine.
Then, as nostalgia began to wane, my mind circled round to face today’s reality, and thank goodness, my well practiced voice of intuition called forth positive focus, which thinking to set aside its narrow, black and white lens, directed my inner cameraman to make good use of today’s technicolored, wide angled, CinemaScope technology so as to create the bigger picture of Tomorrowland with which we can pleasure our think tanks, right now, thus ensuring the personal safety of your precious family and mine into perpetuity, at long last!
You see, within this bigger picture, created by my colorful imagination, I’ve conjured up a sense of all pervasive inner peace, which, holding hands with my fervent wish for a world at peace can be seen dancing, together, in an ever-widening circle, where, overhead, flies a world flag, high above a circle of flags, held in people’s hands, each of which designates the individual country that makes up our world community just as the flag of the USA flies over each state, which, together, combines with the other 49 to create my country, tis of thee—sweet land of liberty of thee I sing ...
In short, once this pandemic has passed, and it will, peaceful days filled with play dates will see us discussing positive changes for the better, concerning attitudinal breakthroughs that developed, over time, on a global scope, which would have been impossible to imagine had The Phoenix not had reason to muster the courage and humility to rise, yet again, from the ashes feathered in a greater sense of inner strength than ever before concerning global repair, which is forever necessary on an on-going basis just as people the world over have been experiencing sound reason to work in tandem with one another to restore order—just as has always proved true of governing bodies throughout The USA, since its conversion from thirteen colonies into the world power it continues to be, today. If ever the world was ripe to drink to each other’s good health, that time is, right now! Cheers! Salut! L’Chaim! Amen!
And with today’s insight-driven, intuitive train of thought clearly stated, my spirit feels happy just thinking about the pure joy that lies ahead of us both when my cherished friend, Jennifer’s
three precious children and Ravi are leaping around trampolines as gleefully as Jen’s heart and mine will look forward to hugging each other close, every bit as naturally as had been true before fear of Corona-19 has separated families into different camps for sound reason, just as fear of differing skin colorations has separated people into separate camps for no good reason, at all, being that, time and again, we come together to learn that there’s naught to fear but fear itself, and now that doctors, nurses, medical staff and patients of all colors are in the thick of it, working, together to resolve this worldwide crises, hopefully, we will truly make sound use of heartfelt common sense to become a small, small world, once your health and mine is no longer at immediate risk, freeing our spirits to love each other less defensively more thoroughly, within our homes, across our nation and abroad.
“You will know when you are calm, at peace. Passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.”
—Yoda
Always pass on what you have learned.
—Yoda
As always, I Love you, Jennifer and your family, my dear friend!
May the force be within all five of you!
🙋🏻♀️🥰🌈🌻Annie, disciple of Yoda
Knowing that appearances are deceiving, who is older, Keira or Ravi?
Good morning, dear friend,
Please remember that my mind, having a mind of its own, leaps into expansion mode, which was exactly what happened while watching this video of Keira’s lovely smile enjoying this charming bird as your sweet voice floated into my ear, reaching clear into my heart, and as a heartfelt sense of nostalgia arose from deep within my soul I yearned for times past when reason to quarantine did not exist, and all that was needed to connect our spirits, face to face, was to choose to stop our merry-go-round lives, momentarily, so as to match up a date, time and meeting place on your calendar and mine.
Then, as nostalgia began to wane, my mind circled round to face today’s reality, and thank goodness, my well practiced voice of intuition called forth positive focus, which thinking to set aside its narrow, black and white lens, directed my inner cameraman to make good use of today’s technicolored, wide angled, CinemaScope technology so as to create the bigger picture of Tomorrowland with which we can pleasure our think tanks, right now, thus ensuring the personal safety of your precious family and mine into perpetuity, at long last!
You see, within this bigger picture, created by my colorful imagination, I’ve conjured up a sense of all pervasive inner peace, which, holding hands with my fervent wish for a world at peace can be seen dancing, together, in an ever-widening circle, where, overhead, flies a world flag, high above a circle of flags, held in people’s hands, each of which designates the individual country that makes up our world community just as the flag of the USA flies over each state, which, together, combines with the other 49 to create my country, tis of thee—sweet land of liberty of thee I sing ...
In short, once this pandemic has passed, and it will, peaceful days filled with play dates will see us discussing positive changes for the better, concerning attitudinal breakthroughs that developed, over time, on a global scope, which would have been impossible to imagine had The Phoenix not had reason to muster the courage and humility to rise, yet again, from the ashes feathered in a greater sense of inner strength than ever before concerning global repair, which is forever necessary on an on-going basis just as people the world over have been experiencing sound reason to work in tandem with one another to restore order—just as has always proved true of governing bodies throughout The USA, since its conversion from thirteen colonies into the world power it continues to be, today. If ever the world was ripe to drink to each other’s good health, that time is, right now! Cheers! Salut! L’Chaim! Amen!
And with today’s insight-driven, intuitive train of thought clearly stated, my spirit feels happy just thinking about the pure joy that lies ahead of us both when my cherished friend, Jennifer’s
three precious children and Ravi are leaping around trampolines as gleefully as Jen’s heart and mine will look forward to hugging each other close, every bit as naturally as had been true before fear of Corona-19 has separated families into different camps for sound reason, just as fear of differing skin colorations has separated people into separate camps for no good reason, at all, being that, time and again, we come together to learn that there’s naught to fear but fear itself, and now that doctors, nurses, medical staff and patients of all colors are in the thick of it, working, together to resolve this worldwide crises, hopefully, we will truly make sound use of heartfelt common sense to become a small, small world, once your health and mine is no longer at immediate risk, freeing our spirits to love each other less defensively more thoroughly, within our homes, across our nation and abroad.
“You will know when you are calm, at peace. Passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.”
—Yoda
Always pass on what you have learned.
—Yoda
As always, I Love you, Jennifer and your family, my dear friend!
May the force be within all five of you!
🙋🏻♀️🥰🌈🌻Annie, disciple of Yoda
Saturday, April 18, 2020
REALITY ASKS WHICH WILL WE CHOOSE TO CREATE? HEALTHY GATEWAYS TO THE FUTURE OR DEATH TRAPS AND CEMETARIES
I just awoke from a lengthy nap to find Will worrying for sound reason over the govt. opening lockdown for all the wrong reasons, freeing the pandemic to run rampant through our streets until we find ourselves flooding with fear feeling utterly helpless while watching a second wave of deaths skyrocket.
Seriously—must we create a death trap before more brains engage with common sense, which, over these past three years, has been more absent than ever before—pleeeze—tell me that, come November, a majority of voters will feel as compelled to create change for the better as is true of your family and mine! So far, I’m choosing to restore my aura of serenity by purposely not mustering the courage necessary to watch the news ... news of who bludgeoned who, who murdered who, who kept a starved child, who knows for a fact that monsters exist, locked in a dark closet, and that’s just for starters, because now, along with this deadly presence of the C-19 virus looming over every head, worldwide, there’s the maniacal blabbermouth, whose cretin presence has been freed by red hats and cowardly senators, to desecrate the sanctity of The Oval Office more so than has any other person (dt will never be my president) in the history of The USA. So, when I plead that we—
Focus, people, focus
So as not to re-engage with
One another too soon, thus
Creating a death trap in which
The government weaves the web
The virus plays the spider
And we be the flies caught
Buzzing round one another before
Our loved ones’ safety is ensured
My plea for patience is dead on serious
👩🏻❤️🌈🌻
PS
Where is my positive focus you ask?
Perhaps, upon awakening from
Today’s nap with my nephew’s
Naked reality still staring me in
The face, my positive focus felt
Need to pull my pillowcase over
My head, freeing
My intuitive powers to
Expose inner need to step up on
A soapbox, where, I, making
Sound use of my voice in hopes of
Grabbing the open ear of
The populous at large, am
Heard to say—Focus people focus
Tis Waaaay past time for our
Nation to shake loose of trump’s
Narrow minded, divisive approach to
What’s good for him and
His cronies so our nation can
Reunite as we approach
Our immediate future with
All eyes refocusing, first upon
Surviving Covid-19 so that
Once the economy is on its way to
Recovery, we’re still
On this side of the grass!
Aha! My positive focus has not
Dived for cover, after all!
While thrust inside
My pillowcase
My think tank had
Sought out a bunker in which
To recreate the peaceful aura of
Solitude that I find
Necessary to express
My deepest thoughts with
Crystal clear clarity, which, otherwise
Tend to fog up whenever
The inner sanctum of
My brain is too quick to
Mirror the fears of others, thus
Magnifying my own ...
Whew! That was a close one
For this reason:
As a first responder
My nephew, the ER doc, knows of what
He lives, breathes and
Speaks, day after day, suggesting
His fears to be grounded in truth
On the other (gloved) hand
I know he’ll continue to take
Every necessary precautionary
Measure to safeguard his
Family from harm, which is
All any of us can do by
Making sure to mindfully
Clear our think tanks of
trump’s most dangerous
Lie ever told concerning
His majesty’s godlike complex, which
Believes he is empowered to
Stamp an expiration date on
The deadly nature of this virus
BTW—from now on, dear friends
If any of you happen to have
A do not disturb sign handy at
The same time that
You see me slipping
A pillowcase over my head
Please note that
Your generous offer to
Lend me this sign of respect whenever
My need to think deep in solitude feels
Necessary will be ever
So greatly appreciated
(Tis during times of darkness that
Moments of levity, which
Brighten the spirit, prove a necessity)
🙋🏻♀️🤓🌈🌻Annie
Seriously—must we create a death trap before more brains engage with common sense, which, over these past three years, has been more absent than ever before—pleeeze—tell me that, come November, a majority of voters will feel as compelled to create change for the better as is true of your family and mine! So far, I’m choosing to restore my aura of serenity by purposely not mustering the courage necessary to watch the news ... news of who bludgeoned who, who murdered who, who kept a starved child, who knows for a fact that monsters exist, locked in a dark closet, and that’s just for starters, because now, along with this deadly presence of the C-19 virus looming over every head, worldwide, there’s the maniacal blabbermouth, whose cretin presence has been freed by red hats and cowardly senators, to desecrate the sanctity of The Oval Office more so than has any other person (dt will never be my president) in the history of The USA. So, when I plead that we—
Focus, people, focus
So as not to re-engage with
One another too soon, thus
Creating a death trap in which
The government weaves the web
The virus plays the spider
And we be the flies caught
Buzzing round one another before
Our loved ones’ safety is ensured
My plea for patience is dead on serious
👩🏻❤️🌈🌻
PS
Where is my positive focus you ask?
Perhaps, upon awakening from
Today’s nap with my nephew’s
Naked reality still staring me in
The face, my positive focus felt
Need to pull my pillowcase over
My head, freeing
My intuitive powers to
Expose inner need to step up on
A soapbox, where, I, making
Sound use of my voice in hopes of
Grabbing the open ear of
The populous at large, am
Heard to say—Focus people focus
Tis Waaaay past time for our
Nation to shake loose of trump’s
Narrow minded, divisive approach to
What’s good for him and
His cronies so our nation can
Reunite as we approach
Our immediate future with
All eyes refocusing, first upon
Surviving Covid-19 so that
Once the economy is on its way to
Recovery, we’re still
On this side of the grass!
Aha! My positive focus has not
Dived for cover, after all!
While thrust inside
My pillowcase
My think tank had
Sought out a bunker in which
To recreate the peaceful aura of
Solitude that I find
Necessary to express
My deepest thoughts with
Crystal clear clarity, which, otherwise
Tend to fog up whenever
The inner sanctum of
My brain is too quick to
Mirror the fears of others, thus
Magnifying my own ...
Whew! That was a close one
For this reason:
As a first responder
My nephew, the ER doc, knows of what
He lives, breathes and
Speaks, day after day, suggesting
His fears to be grounded in truth
On the other (gloved) hand
I know he’ll continue to take
Every necessary precautionary
Measure to safeguard his
Family from harm, which is
All any of us can do by
Making sure to mindfully
Clear our think tanks of
trump’s most dangerous
Lie ever told concerning
His majesty’s godlike complex, which
Believes he is empowered to
Stamp an expiration date on
The deadly nature of this virus
BTW—from now on, dear friends
If any of you happen to have
A do not disturb sign handy at
The same time that
You see me slipping
A pillowcase over my head
Please note that
Your generous offer to
Lend me this sign of respect whenever
My need to think deep in solitude feels
Necessary will be ever
So greatly appreciated
(Tis during times of darkness that
Moments of levity, which
Brighten the spirit, prove a necessity)
🙋🏻♀️🤓🌈🌻Annie
Friday, April 17, 2020
FOCUS—THE QUESTION IS NOT OUR TANKING ECONOMY BUT RATHER HUMAN SURVIVAL
As repetition is not
Redundant when
The goal is retention
Once again—let’s focus ...
Focus on what?
Pleeze—Focus upon
Every person’s responsibility to
Face up to the stark reality
Staring medical teams across
Our nation, eye to eye, scaring
Highly trained doctors, PAs
Nurses, technicians and aides
Day after day after day—
We cannot fool ourselves into
Believing lies trumped up
By trump, suggesting that
The end of this
Global pandemic can be
Scheduled in hopes of
Saving our economy from tanking at
The expense of countless lives lost—not
The lives of strangers but of
Your loved ones and mine being that
Covid-19, like the fickle finger of fate
Will continue to run rampant through
Our streets, killing at will unless
Leadership grows so wise, over night
(Yeah, right!) As to—
“Adopt the pace of nature—her secret is patience.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Got it?
Thank God! Because
United we heal, strengthen and live
Divided we fail to thrive and—die
As this pandemic threatens life or death
We must unite for the common good
And here is why that’s true—
If this virus is to be vanquished
Once and for all then
We must make no mistake concerning
Communal need to remain
Fully aware of this fact—
The time to unite for the common good on
A global scope has never before been
So vital to human survival as proves true
Right now!
Annie 🌈🌻
Redundant when
The goal is retention
Once again—let’s focus ...
Focus on what?
Pleeze—Focus upon
Every person’s responsibility to
Face up to the stark reality
Staring medical teams across
Our nation, eye to eye, scaring
Highly trained doctors, PAs
Nurses, technicians and aides
Day after day after day—
We cannot fool ourselves into
Believing lies trumped up
By trump, suggesting that
The end of this
Global pandemic can be
Scheduled in hopes of
Saving our economy from tanking at
The expense of countless lives lost—not
The lives of strangers but of
Your loved ones and mine being that
Covid-19, like the fickle finger of fate
Will continue to run rampant through
Our streets, killing at will unless
Leadership grows so wise, over night
(Yeah, right!) As to—
“Adopt the pace of nature—her secret is patience.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Got it?
Thank God! Because
United we heal, strengthen and live
Divided we fail to thrive and—die
As this pandemic threatens life or death
We must unite for the common good
And here is why that’s true—
If this virus is to be vanquished
Once and for all then
We must make no mistake concerning
Communal need to remain
Fully aware of this fact—
The time to unite for the common good on
A global scope has never before been
So vital to human survival as proves true
Right now!
Annie 🌈🌻
Thursday, April 16, 2020
IT’S NOT WISE TO FOOL WITH MOTHER NATURE—FOCUS ON PATIENCE
Focus, people, focus ...
Focus on what?
Focus upon every person’s responsibility to
Face up to the same stark reality that’s
Staring medical teams across
Our nation in the face, scaring
Highly trained doctors, PAs
Nurses, technicians and aides
Day after day after day—
We, who are so fortunate as to
Remain relatively safe at home, cannot
Fool ourselves into
Believing‘trumped’ up lies
Suggesting that the end of this
Global pandemic can be
Scheduled in hopes of
Saving our economy from tanking at
The expense of countless lives lost—not
Just the lives of strangers but of
Your loved ones and mine, being that
Covid-19, like the fickle finger of fate
Will continue to run rampant through
Our streets, killing at will, unless
Leadership grows so wise, over night
(Yeah right!) As to—
“Adopt the pace of nature—her secret is patience.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Focus on what?
Focus upon every person’s responsibility to
Face up to the stark reality
Staring medical teams across
Our nation in the face, scaring
Highly trained doctors, PAs
Nurses, technicians and aides
Day after day after day—
We, who are so fortunate as to
Remain relatively safe at home, cannot
Fool ourselves into
Believing lies trumped up
By trump, suggesting that
The end of this
Global pandemic can be
Scheduled in hopes of
Saving our economy from tanking at
The expense of countless lives lost—not
Just the lives of strangers but of
Your loved ones and mine being that
Covid-19, like the fickle finger of fate
Will continue to run rampant through
Our streets, killing at will unless
Leadership grows so wise, over night
(Yeah, right!)As to—
“Adopt the pace of nature—her secret is patience.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Focus on what?
Focus upon every person’s responsibility to
Face up to the same stark reality that’s
Staring medical teams across
Our nation in the face, scaring
Highly trained doctors, PAs
Nurses, technicians and aides
Day after day after day—
We, who are so fortunate as to
Remain relatively safe at home, cannot
Fool ourselves into
Believing‘trumped’ up lies
Suggesting that the end of this
Global pandemic can be
Scheduled in hopes of
Saving our economy from tanking at
The expense of countless lives lost—not
Just the lives of strangers but of
Your loved ones and mine, being that
Covid-19, like the fickle finger of fate
Will continue to run rampant through
Our streets, killing at will, unless
Leadership grows so wise, over night
(Yeah right!) As to—
“Adopt the pace of nature—her secret is patience.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
My nephew is an ER doc in the Midwest, and here is his fear—“The idea of bringing something home that’s going to hurt my family ... (Covid-19) has this level of transmissibility that’s a new experience for me.”
My nephew, being a former firefighter, paramedic, does not shrink back from having a scary job. At the risk of his own life, he chose to run into burning buildings (while others ran out) in hopes of saving a person too overcome to get out without help. Even so, each time my nephew placed the safety of others above his own, never before has he experienced sound reason to fear for the safety of his wife and four children as is true, now, each time he walks into their home after having spent long hours in the ER, attending to the health needs of strangers, and as such, along with the new normal comes this scary awareness—
“Fires don't chase firemen home,” he said. “But this bug chases lots of folks home, and that's a new reality.”
And so, while we keep my nephew’s highly trained, insight-driven train of thought in the forefront of our minds, let’s acknowledge sound reason to repeat this life-saving refrain, every day:
Focus, people, focus ...Focus on what?
Focus upon every person’s responsibility to
Face up to the stark reality
Staring medical teams across
Our nation in the face, scaring
Highly trained doctors, PAs
Nurses, technicians and aides
Day after day after day—
We, who are so fortunate as to
Remain relatively safe at home, cannot
Fool ourselves into
Believing lies trumped up
By trump, suggesting that
The end of this
Global pandemic can be
Scheduled in hopes of
Saving our economy from tanking at
The expense of countless lives lost—not
Just the lives of strangers but of
Your loved ones and mine being that
Covid-19, like the fickle finger of fate
Will continue to run rampant through
Our streets, killing at will unless
Leadership grows so wise, over night
(Yeah, right!)As to—
“Adopt the pace of nature—her secret is patience.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wednesday, April 15, 2020
OUR FAMILY’S FESTIVE PASSOVER SEDER WAS CELEBRATED, BELATEDLY, LAST NIGHT
Good morning,
It felt wonderful to celebrate our family’s belated Seder, yesterday, all together, via Zoom. (Happily, Will and I had enjoyed connecting, via FaceTime, with my sister, Lauren’s family for the first Seder, celebrated in the Midwest, last week.)
Our family chose to wait to celebrate the holiday, together, until
Our grandsons, Tony and Ray, arrived home from their father’s house
And my meaning is clear when differentiating home from house based in
This reality: The boys’ sense of emotional safety does not
Feel at home with their father, because
Rather than taking heartfelt care to respect their needs
This man bullies both into fearing his overbearing presence whenever
This innocent pair of children are supposedly within his ‘care’.
Home is where the heart feels so personally loved as to feel deeply secure
As memories tasting of bitter herbs arise within my mind whenever
Thoughts of this hard hearted man are expressed, in the interest of
Perpetuating my aura of serenity, let’s wisely switch tracks, right now ...
Except for days when bursts of steroids are flowing through my bloodstream, I actually feel too weary to converse, pretty much 24/7. And for those of you who know my loquaciousness, that’s saying a lot! So wearied do I feel as to initiate cyber play dates with Ravi via FaceTime only once a week. As long as I place no expectations upon myself, fatigue is not worrisome as everything I hope to do is either accomplished good-naturedly by Will or will remain undone until such time as my lack of mental and physical energy refuels once infusions of chemo, followed by surgery, are history.
So far, thank goodness, this third protocol remains unchanged. I’ve been cautioned to note that the effects of multiple treatments of any chemo protocol become cumulative, over time, so perhaps that answers why fatigue has been deepening.
Each time I’m infused with chemo, steroids are transfused via my port in addition to a burst of steroids, taken by mouth, before every other infusion of chemo, so while my body must somehow handle different combinations of drugs traveling through my bloodstream, my think tank, feeling foggy, can’t hold onto thoughts that prove mindful with anything resembling clarity as though my brain has a leak that my inner plumber has not yet located.
As anything requiring planning or conversation has not happened for quite some time, my aura of peacefulness is maintained by gifting myself with lots of slack whenever I’d not thought to do something that’s slipped through the cracks of the fuzzy state of my conscious awareness.
When it comes to writing, the intuitive portion of my brain takes the lead, meaning that my conscious mind has little awareness of what is being conveyed until every word, having been penned, one by one, has poured forth so naturally from with the depths of my soul as if to expose a host of heartfelt vulnerabilities, which my defense system, doing its job, blocks my conscious mind from acknowledging until the writing is done, and I read what I actually feel, deep within my core.
Today’s post exemplifies the expression of emotional reactions that my power of intuitive thought chose to expose, first to me before sending this insight driven train of thought to you. And as my first train of thought pulls into a rest station, here comes another that’s certain to ignite my spirit’s smile:
Yesterday, our belated Seder with extended family via Zoom, felt wonderful. Thank goodness, our sons planned everything out, so all I had to do was to awaken from a lengthy snooze in time to groom and show up to thoroughly enjoy everyone’s company—as was especially true when my sister, Lauren’s two year old grandson decided to contemplate his belly button—actually, on second thought, my think tank did manage to preplan one helpful addition, leading toward our seder’s success—I’d ordered Haggadahs from Amazon, which were sent to each family so that during our Seder, all were literally on the same page, and then there were wind up frogs, flipping over, jumping here and there, which had also been delivered to our grandchildren , though I’d felt gouged, being that each of these same small plastics gizmos, which had cost me $4.00, apiece, last year, has risen to $10.00, dung that, during the pandemic, local retailers are closed. Sooo, whose eyes, other than those of an adoring Gramma, would close to the bighjacked price of entertaining precious kinderlach!
As for now, the intuitive portion of my think tank has tired, so I’ll end today’s train of insight-driven thought by sending so much love, here, there, and everywhere, being that love in its purest form is pretty much the only awareness about which I continue to feel crystal clear during our time of global quarantine in which, hopefully, this current plague, experienced throughout PASSOVER, EASTER and soon throughout RAMADAN, has passed over the homes of all of your loved ones and mine, as well.
Annie 🙋🏻♀️❤️🌈🌻
It felt wonderful to celebrate our family’s belated Seder, yesterday, all together, via Zoom. (Happily, Will and I had enjoyed connecting, via FaceTime, with my sister, Lauren’s family for the first Seder, celebrated in the Midwest, last week.)
Our family chose to wait to celebrate the holiday, together, until
Our grandsons, Tony and Ray, arrived home from their father’s house
And my meaning is clear when differentiating home from house based in
This reality: The boys’ sense of emotional safety does not
Feel at home with their father, because
Rather than taking heartfelt care to respect their needs
This man bullies both into fearing his overbearing presence whenever
This innocent pair of children are supposedly within his ‘care’.
Home is where the heart feels so personally loved as to feel deeply secure
As memories tasting of bitter herbs arise within my mind whenever
Thoughts of this hard hearted man are expressed, in the interest of
Perpetuating my aura of serenity, let’s wisely switch tracks, right now ...
Except for days when bursts of steroids are flowing through my bloodstream, I actually feel too weary to converse, pretty much 24/7. And for those of you who know my loquaciousness, that’s saying a lot! So wearied do I feel as to initiate cyber play dates with Ravi via FaceTime only once a week. As long as I place no expectations upon myself, fatigue is not worrisome as everything I hope to do is either accomplished good-naturedly by Will or will remain undone until such time as my lack of mental and physical energy refuels once infusions of chemo, followed by surgery, are history.
So far, thank goodness, this third protocol remains unchanged. I’ve been cautioned to note that the effects of multiple treatments of any chemo protocol become cumulative, over time, so perhaps that answers why fatigue has been deepening.
Each time I’m infused with chemo, steroids are transfused via my port in addition to a burst of steroids, taken by mouth, before every other infusion of chemo, so while my body must somehow handle different combinations of drugs traveling through my bloodstream, my think tank, feeling foggy, can’t hold onto thoughts that prove mindful with anything resembling clarity as though my brain has a leak that my inner plumber has not yet located.
As anything requiring planning or conversation has not happened for quite some time, my aura of peacefulness is maintained by gifting myself with lots of slack whenever I’d not thought to do something that’s slipped through the cracks of the fuzzy state of my conscious awareness.
When it comes to writing, the intuitive portion of my brain takes the lead, meaning that my conscious mind has little awareness of what is being conveyed until every word, having been penned, one by one, has poured forth so naturally from with the depths of my soul as if to expose a host of heartfelt vulnerabilities, which my defense system, doing its job, blocks my conscious mind from acknowledging until the writing is done, and I read what I actually feel, deep within my core.
Today’s post exemplifies the expression of emotional reactions that my power of intuitive thought chose to expose, first to me before sending this insight driven train of thought to you. And as my first train of thought pulls into a rest station, here comes another that’s certain to ignite my spirit’s smile:
Yesterday, our belated Seder with extended family via Zoom, felt wonderful. Thank goodness, our sons planned everything out, so all I had to do was to awaken from a lengthy snooze in time to groom and show up to thoroughly enjoy everyone’s company—as was especially true when my sister, Lauren’s two year old grandson decided to contemplate his belly button—actually, on second thought, my think tank did manage to preplan one helpful addition, leading toward our seder’s success—I’d ordered Haggadahs from Amazon, which were sent to each family so that during our Seder, all were literally on the same page, and then there were wind up frogs, flipping over, jumping here and there, which had also been delivered to our grandchildren , though I’d felt gouged, being that each of these same small plastics gizmos, which had cost me $4.00, apiece, last year, has risen to $10.00, dung that, during the pandemic, local retailers are closed. Sooo, whose eyes, other than those of an adoring Gramma, would close to the bighjacked price of entertaining precious kinderlach!
If Gramma’s cheeks look chipmunk-like that’s thanks to
Steroids accompanying chemo🙋🏻♀️🌈🌻
Annie 🙋🏻♀️❤️🌈🌻
Tuesday, April 14, 2020
LEAF GATHERERS
Though my last early morning
Chemo infusion was this past Thursday
I’m still feeling too fatigued to say
Much more than this, today:
I plan to rest, peaceably, while conveying that
At our end, all continues to go well, followed by
Hoping all’s well with you and yours, too ...
Will’s still obsessed with finding TP
In fact, he was getting ready to
Collect leaves ‘just in case’ until
It dawned on us that setting out
On a quest like that would present
My husband, being a desert dweller, with
Quite a feat seeing that
Cacti represent most of
Our neighboring plants—ouch!
Personally, I’m cool with
The number of rolls we have left from
Our pre-pandemic stash
I mean seriously
At some point in time, as
This desert dweller knows full well
The thermometer, outside, is going
To climb until it spikes so high that
Hoarders, stashing TP from
Floor to ceiling, wall to wall, are
Bound to want to park their cars
Inside their garages!
😄🙋🏻♀️❤️🌈🌻 😘
PS
Here’s a trio of reasons as to why gratitude lifts
Our spirits while quarantining, indefinitely—
Several days back, one neighbor dropped off
Fresh produce, enough to choke a horse for two weeks!
Then today, another left a love note on
Our front stoop attached to a plant in full bloom
As to the ‘piece de resistance’—well guess
What just arrived from neighbor #3?
Yessiree, you got it—a value pack of TP!
Will is ecstatic! And my spirit, which can’t stop
Smiling, feels like we’re living in
Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood!🙋🏻♀️😍
Chemo infusion was this past Thursday
I’m still feeling too fatigued to say
Much more than this, today:
I plan to rest, peaceably, while conveying that
At our end, all continues to go well, followed by
Hoping all’s well with you and yours, too ...
Will’s still obsessed with finding TP
In fact, he was getting ready to
Collect leaves ‘just in case’ until
It dawned on us that setting out
On a quest like that would present
My husband, being a desert dweller, with
Quite a feat seeing that
Cacti represent most of
Our neighboring plants—ouch!
Personally, I’m cool with
The number of rolls we have left from
Our pre-pandemic stash
I mean seriously
At some point in time, as
This desert dweller knows full well
The thermometer, outside, is going
To climb until it spikes so high that
Hoarders, stashing TP from
Floor to ceiling, wall to wall, are
Bound to want to park their cars
Inside their garages!
😄🙋🏻♀️❤️🌈🌻 😘
PS
Here’s a trio of reasons as to why gratitude lifts
Our spirits while quarantining, indefinitely—
Several days back, one neighbor dropped off
Fresh produce, enough to choke a horse for two weeks!
Then today, another left a love note on
Our front stoop attached to a plant in full bloom
As to the ‘piece de resistance’—well guess
What just arrived from neighbor #3?
Yessiree, you got it—a value pack of TP!
Will is ecstatic! And my spirit, which can’t stop
Smiling, feels like we’re living in
Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood!🙋🏻♀️😍
Monday, April 13, 2020
GREAT HEALTH UPDATE #15 (or 16)
Cautionary warning—as this post is not behaving in an orderly fashion
I’ll take it to task once my mind decides to engage with its untidiness...
STOP THE PRESSES!
GREAT news!
Results of this week’s PET scan offerOur hearts sound reasonTo rejoice, and here’s why that’s true:After many months ofChemo protocols, which had causedMe to experience much too much
Physically destructive misery
Our relief, today is huge for this reason—The protocol, which I’ve been on, overThese past several weeks (whichProves effective in only25% of patients whoseTumors prove to be as rare asThe sarcoma that invadedMy lung, uninvited), has beenAttacking my tumor withA vengeance while acting asOne of my very best friends in thatOther than arm wrestling withMy circulatory system’s natural ability to
Produce well balanced blood cells
This present protocol has beenWrestling the tumor, itself, toThe mat without messing withMy heart’s capacity to pump andAs all additional miseries, inclusive ofPneumonia and other infections, whichHad overwhelmed my crashedImmune system as experienced withEarlier protocols (let’s call themThing One and Thing Two), haveAlso been held at bay, soTis easy to see why this monkey is
Jumping up and down on my bed (in
My head) Cheering—Hip Hip Hooray!In fact, this third protocol (the first being back in
November) is proving much MOREEffective than the first two, whichHindsight suggestsPlayed havoc withMy innocent organs rather thanBringing the tumor to its kneesAnd this change for the better offers my voice sound reason to let loose with A heartfelt— WOO HOO!
Whereas earlier PET scans showed
The shrinkage of the tumor to be minusculeAnd the activity level to have reduced from2.5 to 2.3, we are over joyed to relate thatMy current PET scan showsTumor shrinkage from 7cm to 6cm andActivity level from 2.3 to 1.0 in justFour weeks time!!!!!
A mere four weeks ago, I was hospitalized, unableTo walk on my own, the bedpan myConstant companion. My ruby sequinedSlippers weeping in loneliness under my bedAnd now—SHAZAM!And having offered you news, which wasUnexpected despite the positively focusedAttitude (which has been habitual everSince my sense of
creativity was challenged byThree active boys, whose imaginativeThought processors awoke with energy toSpare, most especially when three headsPlanning how best to get away withHighjinx, offered my spirit reason to
Breathe high octane buoyancy intoMy think tank, each morning, before
I’d even brushed my teeth!)
So, anyway, having entertainedMyself while pouring my heart intoToday’s health update, which has surpassedOur most fervent hopes, hopefully, you took
My true Passover Story, which had
Momentarily rattled the sense ofSerenity with which my hold ontoSelf control has been calmlyMaintaining my sanity throughout these pastSix months, to heart, being that my need to remainSemi quarantined has beenMy new normal for quite some time
As for now, every pair of socks folded neatly in two drawers are all atremble, awaiting the hand that’s determined to sort through which to keep and which, having been gently worn but not for awhile, to donate (along with other boxed items in the garage) to the women who have courageously sought safe haven from battering at The Sojourner Center.And as, right before dashing this post, bursting with great news to all of you, I was at Mayo, where a shot to stimulate bone marrow production of well balanced blood cells was administered to replace those cells, which go haywire, as is true each time my circulatory system continues to be battered by my friendlier-by-far current protocol of chemo. Luckily, though my platelets and hemoglobin were borderline, chemo, which came close to being cancelled, was infused to do battle with the tumor, this week. Whew!As to the shot, which stimulates new blood cell production—Medicare only pays for it after a chemo treatment, because the drug company charges the hospital $15, 000.00 a pop. And as my darling friend, Andi, had self administered this same drug into her system after chemo treatments, more than 25 years ago, you’d think the price tag would have dropped! Much of what’s broken in our nation has been sinking in quicksand so long that each of us has come to feel overwhelming need to beg for a rope before we utter our last glug-glug-glug, and now, ‘‘tis time toPut a plug in my think tank and enjoy a chocolate pixie, sent from Fannie Mae Candies a dear lifelong friend —yum!
BTW, the hospital pays Medicare $4,000 for each shot, which, thank goodness, does its part in being a life saver, since well balanced blood cells are vital to life, itself!Please—Stay well.Please—Stay home.As always, Will, who is overjoyed with this news
JoIns me in sending each of you
PSSo much love, wrapped in warm, real hugs!🙋🏻♀️🥰🌈🌻Annie
I offer the chemo staff reason to laugh whenever I’m infused. And each time a nurse laughs, I do, too! Last Thursday’s surprise coming right up ... 😍
Shoes and socks on wheelchair💃🏻
Texted this pic to a dear friend—her response—They’ll think you’re color blind or mind colored!
My reply—
As long as serious stuff surprisingly transforms naturally into mutual laughter, I’m good with whatever anyone thinks.😄. In addition to Laughter being the best medicine, it’s Magical! A wise woman once told me—joy is an inside job—reflecting over her wisdom keeps my intuitive spirit buoyed during life’s most trying times.🙋🏻♀️😘
Sunday, April 12, 2020
AS PASSOVER AND EASTER WALTZ EVER MORE PEACEABLY TOWARD THE FUTURE BROTHERHOOD SMILES WITH RELIEF
Good morning!🙋🏻♀️😊
Will joins me in wishing a peaceful healthy day to our dear family and friends whose celebration of Easter while Passover matzoh brie sizzles in our frying pan signals each of us to come together, once need to quarantine is over, as this crises, experienced together, has exposed human need to enhance daily life by replacing power struggling attitudes with generosity of spirit so heartfelt as to see us offering each other the gift of love with such mindfulness as to consciously work together to lessen each other’s strife both at home and abroad on a global scope as had never felt possible before covid-19 offered most of us sound reason to set power struggling attitudes aside in favor of raising our young to emulate adults whose heightened level of emotional maturity demonstrates the vital importance of embracing a value system in which we each do our best to safeguard one another’s lives, thus prioritizing a newfound sense of well grounded brotherhood above all else once minds released from fear have had time to more deeply absorb sound reason to rejoice, together, as never before, during our lifetime. With fervent thanks to our first responders, who put their lives on the line, every day, it’s also my fervent hope that while we’re staying home, human need to love each other deeply rather than defensively is being considered more seriously than ever before based in the fact that everything our precious children absorb at home will be offered to the world once each youngster has grown to adulthood ... 🙋🏻♀️❤️🌈🌻
Will joins me in wishing a peaceful healthy day to our dear family and friends whose celebration of Easter while Passover matzoh brie sizzles in our frying pan signals each of us to come together, once need to quarantine is over, as this crises, experienced together, has exposed human need to enhance daily life by replacing power struggling attitudes with generosity of spirit so heartfelt as to see us offering each other the gift of love with such mindfulness as to consciously work together to lessen each other’s strife both at home and abroad on a global scope as had never felt possible before covid-19 offered most of us sound reason to set power struggling attitudes aside in favor of raising our young to emulate adults whose heightened level of emotional maturity demonstrates the vital importance of embracing a value system in which we each do our best to safeguard one another’s lives, thus prioritizing a newfound sense of well grounded brotherhood above all else once minds released from fear have had time to more deeply absorb sound reason to rejoice, together, as never before, during our lifetime. With fervent thanks to our first responders, who put their lives on the line, every day, it’s also my fervent hope that while we’re staying home, human need to love each other deeply rather than defensively is being considered more seriously than ever before based in the fact that everything our precious children absorb at home will be offered to the world once each youngster has grown to adulthood ... 🙋🏻♀️❤️🌈🌻
Saturday, April 11, 2020
STRANGER DANGER INVADES MY SAFE SPACE—A PASSOVER STORY
Wait till you hear what happened, next ...
Soooo—It’s nearing
Erev Passover, and I’m missing
My family, minding my business in
A waiting room at Mayo, which
Thankfully is empty of
People except for me when suddenly
Out of the blue, I spy
The menacing presence of
Danger arise right before
My eyes, which open
wide in surprise to see
A stranger’s frown making a beeline
Straight for me, and here’s the corker—
Stranger Danger, ignoring
All safety guidelines
Has the unmitigated gall to claim
The seat right next to mine!
Are my turban, face mask,
Disposable gloves and
Wheelchair not enough to
Clue this person into the fact that
If graphed, my vulnerability factor
Spikes sky high!
Apparently not. Or—is it
Possible that pandemic or
No pandemic this person’s
heart, having experienced
Reason to harden—doth not
Care about anything other than
Gaining and maintaining
A sense of personal power over
Another person’s
Naked vulnerability, which proves too
Weakened to run for cover ...
Soooo—what am I to do?
Well, whenever circumstances are
Uncertain, such as this one proves to be
Here’s what I’d unwittingly trained my
My think tank to do (during
My child raising years so as to
Role model self assertive, yet
Mutually respectful attitudes that
I’d wanted each of my young sons to
Mimic, knowing that
Young monkey’s brain is innately
Programmed to absorb
Social interactions by
Seeing, hearing and repeating whatever
Mom and Dad monkeys say and do and
Believe to be true until, eventually
Mini monkey, having unwittingly watched
Thing One or Thing Two more closely than
Anyone in the family had thought to
Comprehend, grow up to absorb more
Attitudinal character traits from
One parent or the other until
Your adult child’s spouse feels
Reason to yell, during
Angst ridden moments, which
Classically test the bonds of
Harmonious matrimony, universally:
You’re acting just like whatever
Pisses you off most about
Your mother [or father])!
Whoops!
As happens all too frequently
Intuitive trains of thought tend to
Run away with my mind, and
I got off track ...
Soooo, where were we—oh yes ...
I’m in one of Mayo’s many
Waiting rooms feeling several
Emotional reactions colliding inside
My head like pairs of
Dissident cymbals, all of which
Prove in need of the soothing voice of
Leadership to calm down
Each emotion-driven reaction, right
Now so that one emotion-driven
Attitude can rise above the fray to
Guide the rest to relax enough to
Stand behind my line of self control like
Ducklings all in a row, not
A feather to be seen ruffled amongst them
As though awaiting
The green light to flash GO so that
All can cross a busy intersection feeling
Self assured of leadership’s ability to inspire
The whole Kitandkabootle to safely reach
The other side of the road whenever
Life’s unexpected element of strife
Requires every mature adult in sight to
Pull it together in hopes of creating
An aura of emotional safety that
Welcomes all comers into—
Geez—My brain is incorrigible—off
On a tandem, again! Where did I put
Its collar and leash? Now—sit! And Stay!
Good girl! I’m in need of a treat after
So much time spent cooped up
Quarantining at home—in my case
It’s already been months since
Chemo, having attacked my blood, saw
My white cells bottom out, necessitating
Several hospitalizations for lengthy stays
In need of multiple transfusions
Suggesting why my fear of catching
Even a common cold, which can
Overtax my lung attacked by
The 7cm sized tumor, which, having
Compromised my capacity to
Breathe, naturally, has already
Hosted pneumonia more than once, and
With need of relieving a pain ridden
Tightening of chest pressure
A tube was intubated to
Drain the build up of fluid, twice
While any number of infections wrecked
Havoc within my body after
The aggressive protocol of
My chemo infusions had
Knocked out my immune system
The exceptionally weakened state of
My physical strengths peaked
Leaving me feeling battered, bedridden
Down for the count until—
You know what ‘they’ say—
What doesn’t kill me makes
The resilience of my spirit stronger than ever ...
Soooo—though I’ve had need, for
Quite some time, to go to
The brain park to let loose, run
Around and frolic with
Family and friends to
My heart’s content
The emotion that I’ve consciously
Chosen to place in
The role of leadership over
All others, whose feathers would surely
Ruffle far too naturally if
Left on their own, is
My wearied brain’s capacity to
Refortify its attitude of gratitude for
Countless blessings, one of which is
The fact that my think tank’s God given
Well practiced super power of
Intuitive thought is more than likely to
Arm my processor with
Silver bullets than blanks whenever
I need to think smart on my feet and ...
Sooo—here I sit in wheel chair
Calmly choosing to holster frustration
In favor of pulling the trigger on
My masked smile, which, cunningly
Gunning for mental clarity, aims
My brain’s intuitive double barreled
Shotgun (stoked with self confident
Logic) straight between
Stranger Danger’s eyes, which
Remain locked aggressively into mine
However, rather than countering
This stranger’s aggressive demeanor with
‘Stick’em up!’, I consciously
Keep my cool, cut to the chase and
Plug her—ever so kindly with—
The facts, Mam—Nothing but the facts:
‘You and I are supposed to
Sit at least six feet apart for safety sake.’
At this, does my seatmate respond with chagrin?
Not by a long shot!
Instead, her brazen retort comes gunn’in for
Me, loaded for bear—
‘They let us in here, right?
That means we’re not sick, so I can sit
Wherever I want! And I want to sit right here!’
Soooo—upon recognizing a power hungry rant
Spitting so many “I’s” that the concept of
‘We’ will never take center stage, I choose to
PASSOVER the asinine element of
Challenge, which Stranger Danger has flung at
My feet, and FREEING MYSELF to stand up to
My full height of 5’2”, my
Processor, turning away from
The prospect of dueling, unholsters
Its power of God-given intuitive wisdom, which
Guides my think tank to
Leave my wheelchair behind in
Favor of purposefully, wordlessly
Making my way, calmly, yet
Cautiously, across the expanse of
The OK Corral where
Having no fear of being shot in
The back, the possibility of
Stranger Danger stubbornly
Making a beeline for the chair
Next to mine, yet again, crosses my mind
Soooo—knowing myself to have become
A plan-maker extraordinaire
Here is what clarity, after choosing to
Keep my cool, clues me in to do:
If necessary, I’ll end this power struggle
Once and for all, by rising, again, to
My feet, which will take turns walking
(Unless I get light headed) with
Confidence intact as did my landsmen under
The courageous leadership of
Moses, who, during biblical times, planned
His people’s exodus from slavery by
The seat of his pants as they wandered
Most likely, in circles through
Desert wasteland for forty years until
They entered The Promised Land where
The strength of leadership’s
Heartfelt convictions had been
Passed down to me from
One generation’s Herculean struggles to
The next suggesting that
A member of the nursing staff at Mayo is
Certain to respond to my knuckles rapping
Against the door so as to open her/his heart to
Listen attentively to the clarity of my need to
Gain safe haven from danger closing in, unnecessarily
And having been hospitalized at Mayo, several
Times, recently, experience leads me to
Believe that the nursing staff will
Choose to comply when the voice of
Reason requests admittance into
The inner sanctum whether
The cardiologist (whose specialty is
Cancer) is ready to
Meet, greet and examine me or not
In the end, Plan B is tabled when
Stranger Danger, staying put, chooses to
Keep her audacious butt on her side of
The waiting room, which, for
Pete’s sake is big enough for
Both of us to wisely practice
Social distancing while
I, having freely chosen to be
Proactive rather than reactive, have
Decidedly kept my cool, knowing
That maintaining an attitude of
Alpha calm is necessary most
Especially when a power struggle has
Been flung in my face for
No good reason by
A person whose think tank is
Obviously devoid of loving kindness
Compassion and common sense ...
Soooo—the moral to this true Passover story
Suggests that the wisest way for us to
Keep our cool whenever
A power struggle arises with
A person, whose deficiency of
Self awareness is obvious, is to
Take a time out on the spot so as to
Conscientiously double up on
Self control and common sense, both of
Which prove to be attitudes, highlighting
This fact of a life lived well:
It’s a matter of choice to lose your
Temper or to clearly and
Mindfully drop your
End of the rope, peaceably, while
Keeping your cool so as to guide your
Think tank toward designing
A sure fire exit plan, knowing
Full well that attitude is everything
And all’s well that ends well ...
What lies behind us and
What lies before us are
Soooo—It’s nearing
Erev Passover, and I’m missing
My family, minding my business in
A waiting room at Mayo, which
Thankfully is empty of
People except for me when suddenly
Out of the blue, I spy
The menacing presence of
Danger arise right before
My eyes, which open
wide in surprise to see
A stranger’s frown making a beeline
Straight for me, and here’s the corker—
Stranger Danger, ignoring
All safety guidelines
Has the unmitigated gall to claim
The seat right next to mine!
Are my turban, face mask,
Disposable gloves and
Wheelchair not enough to
Clue this person into the fact that
If graphed, my vulnerability factor
Spikes sky high!
Apparently not. Or—is it
Possible that pandemic or
No pandemic this person’s
heart, having experienced
Reason to harden—doth not
Care about anything other than
Gaining and maintaining
A sense of personal power over
Another person’s
Naked vulnerability, which proves too
Weakened to run for cover ...
Soooo—what am I to do?
Well, whenever circumstances are
Uncertain, such as this one proves to be
Here’s what I’d unwittingly trained my
My think tank to do (during
My child raising years so as to
Role model self assertive, yet
Mutually respectful attitudes that
I’d wanted each of my young sons to
Mimic, knowing that
Young monkey’s brain is innately
Programmed to absorb
Social interactions by
Seeing, hearing and repeating whatever
Mom and Dad monkeys say and do and
Believe to be true until, eventually
Mini monkey, having unwittingly watched
Thing One or Thing Two more closely than
Anyone in the family had thought to
Comprehend, grow up to absorb more
Attitudinal character traits from
One parent or the other until
Your adult child’s spouse feels
Reason to yell, during
Angst ridden moments, which
Classically test the bonds of
Harmonious matrimony, universally:
You’re acting just like whatever
Pisses you off most about
Your mother [or father])!
Whoops!
As happens all too frequently
Intuitive trains of thought tend to
Run away with my mind, and
I got off track ...
Soooo, where were we—oh yes ...
I’m in one of Mayo’s many
Waiting rooms feeling several
Emotional reactions colliding inside
My head like pairs of
Dissident cymbals, all of which
Prove in need of the soothing voice of
Leadership to calm down
Each emotion-driven reaction, right
Now so that one emotion-driven
Attitude can rise above the fray to
Guide the rest to relax enough to
Stand behind my line of self control like
Ducklings all in a row, not
A feather to be seen ruffled amongst them
As though awaiting
The green light to flash GO so that
All can cross a busy intersection feeling
Self assured of leadership’s ability to inspire
The whole Kitandkabootle to safely reach
The other side of the road whenever
Life’s unexpected element of strife
Requires every mature adult in sight to
Pull it together in hopes of creating
An aura of emotional safety that
Welcomes all comers into—
Geez—My brain is incorrigible—off
On a tandem, again! Where did I put
Its collar and leash? Now—sit! And Stay!
Good girl! I’m in need of a treat after
So much time spent cooped up
Quarantining at home—in my case
It’s already been months since
Chemo, having attacked my blood, saw
My white cells bottom out, necessitating
Several hospitalizations for lengthy stays
In need of multiple transfusions
Suggesting why my fear of catching
Even a common cold, which can
Overtax my lung attacked by
The 7cm sized tumor, which, having
Compromised my capacity to
Breathe, naturally, has already
Hosted pneumonia more than once, and
With need of relieving a pain ridden
Tightening of chest pressure
A tube was intubated to
Drain the build up of fluid, twice
While any number of infections wrecked
Havoc within my body after
The aggressive protocol of
My chemo infusions had
Knocked out my immune system
The exceptionally weakened state of
My physical strengths peaked
Leaving me feeling battered, bedridden
Down for the count until—
You know what ‘they’ say—
What doesn’t kill me makes
The resilience of my spirit stronger than ever ...
Soooo—though I’ve had need, for
Quite some time, to go to
The brain park to let loose, run
Around and frolic with
Family and friends to
My heart’s content
The emotion that I’ve consciously
Chosen to place in
The role of leadership over
All others, whose feathers would surely
Ruffle far too naturally if
Left on their own, is
My wearied brain’s capacity to
Refortify its attitude of gratitude for
Countless blessings, one of which is
The fact that my think tank’s God given
Well practiced super power of
Intuitive thought is more than likely to
Arm my processor with
Silver bullets than blanks whenever
I need to think smart on my feet and ...
Sooo—here I sit in wheel chair
Calmly choosing to holster frustration
In favor of pulling the trigger on
My masked smile, which, cunningly
Gunning for mental clarity, aims
My brain’s intuitive double barreled
Shotgun (stoked with self confident
Logic) straight between
Stranger Danger’s eyes, which
Remain locked aggressively into mine
However, rather than countering
This stranger’s aggressive demeanor with
‘Stick’em up!’, I consciously
Keep my cool, cut to the chase and
Plug her—ever so kindly with—
The facts, Mam—Nothing but the facts:
‘You and I are supposed to
Sit at least six feet apart for safety sake.’
At this, does my seatmate respond with chagrin?
Not by a long shot!
Instead, her brazen retort comes gunn’in for
Me, loaded for bear—
‘They let us in here, right?
That means we’re not sick, so I can sit
Wherever I want! And I want to sit right here!’
Soooo—upon recognizing a power hungry rant
Spitting so many “I’s” that the concept of
‘We’ will never take center stage, I choose to
PASSOVER the asinine element of
Challenge, which Stranger Danger has flung at
My feet, and FREEING MYSELF to stand up to
My full height of 5’2”, my
Processor, turning away from
The prospect of dueling, unholsters
Its power of God-given intuitive wisdom, which
Guides my think tank to
Leave my wheelchair behind in
Favor of purposefully, wordlessly
Making my way, calmly, yet
Cautiously, across the expanse of
The OK Corral where
Having no fear of being shot in
The back, the possibility of
Stranger Danger stubbornly
Making a beeline for the chair
Next to mine, yet again, crosses my mind
Soooo—knowing myself to have become
A plan-maker extraordinaire
Here is what clarity, after choosing to
Keep my cool, clues me in to do:
If necessary, I’ll end this power struggle
Once and for all, by rising, again, to
My feet, which will take turns walking
(Unless I get light headed) with
Confidence intact as did my landsmen under
The courageous leadership of
Moses, who, during biblical times, planned
His people’s exodus from slavery by
The seat of his pants as they wandered
Most likely, in circles through
Desert wasteland for forty years until
They entered The Promised Land where
The strength of leadership’s
Heartfelt convictions had been
Passed down to me from
One generation’s Herculean struggles to
The next suggesting that
A member of the nursing staff at Mayo is
Certain to respond to my knuckles rapping
Against the door so as to open her/his heart to
Listen attentively to the clarity of my need to
Gain safe haven from danger closing in, unnecessarily
And having been hospitalized at Mayo, several
Times, recently, experience leads me to
Believe that the nursing staff will
Choose to comply when the voice of
Reason requests admittance into
The inner sanctum whether
The cardiologist (whose specialty is
Cancer) is ready to
Meet, greet and examine me or not
In the end, Plan B is tabled when
Stranger Danger, staying put, chooses to
Keep her audacious butt on her side of
The waiting room, which, for
Pete’s sake is big enough for
Both of us to wisely practice
Social distancing while
I, having freely chosen to be
Proactive rather than reactive, have
Decidedly kept my cool, knowing
That maintaining an attitude of
Alpha calm is necessary most
Especially when a power struggle has
Been flung in my face for
No good reason by
A person whose think tank is
Obviously devoid of loving kindness
Compassion and common sense ...
Soooo—the moral to this true Passover story
Suggests that the wisest way for us to
Keep our cool whenever
A power struggle arises with
A person, whose deficiency of
Self awareness is obvious, is to
Take a time out on the spot so as to
Conscientiously double up on
Self control and common sense, both of
Which prove to be attitudes, highlighting
This fact of a life lived well:
It’s a matter of choice to lose your
Temper or to clearly and
Mindfully drop your
End of the rope, peaceably, while
Keeping your cool so as to guide your
Think tank toward designing
A sure fire exit plan, knowing
Full well that attitude is everything
And all’s well that ends well ...
What lies behind us and
What lies before us are
Tiny matters compared to
What lies within us.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
As we work in tandem with self control and
Common sense, most especially until we
‘Pass over’ this global crises of Covid-19, which
Plagues us world wide, I’ll end this true
Passover story with one last intuitive thought:
Whenever an individual appears intent upon
Power struggling with you
May the force of clear-headed inner peace
Be within you, knowing that just as with
Yesteryear’s times fraught with angst
This too shall ‘pass over’ the bridge of
Troubled waters where change for the better, leaving
Power struggles behind, awaits our arrival, at last
Common sense, most especially until we
‘Pass over’ this global crises of Covid-19, which
Plagues us world wide, I’ll end this true
Passover story with one last intuitive thought:
Whenever an individual appears intent upon
Power struggling with you
May the force of clear-headed inner peace
Be within you, knowing that just as with
Yesteryear’s times fraught with angst
This too shall ‘pass over’ the bridge of
Troubled waters where change for the better, leaving
Power struggles behind, awaits our arrival, at last
🙋🏻♀️❤️🌈🌻Annie
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