SWOOPED UP BY THE STORK

Thank goodness my sense of humor did not
Fail me during my eleven day hospital stay
In fact, I’ve noticed that my sense of humor tends to
Manifest itself in direct proportion to
The magnitude of the crises at hand
For example, I experienced several state of the art
Pieces of equipment during my most recent
Hospitalization that spoiled me for
Any other hospital in which I may find
Myself admitted as the future unfolds

One day, when my state of being was so weakened as to
Be unable to move myself from bed to gurney for a CT
A pair of technicians made me aware of
A contraption attached to the ceiling of my room, which
Had been installed to lift patients, whose muscles were
Too weakened to lift more than the weight of their heads

Anyway, I remember a couple of
Cheerful staff members manipulating that
Contraption in such a way as to connect four hooks to
Four loops, one found at each end of a soft, rectangular
Piece of material, which, having been slipped under me
Scooped me up off my bed as if I’d been curled up into
A basket made of silk or satin, and once I found myself
Midair, on my way to being lowered onto the gurney
I heard myself ask—so what am I, a girl or a boy?
What? Asked the member of the staff, who was
Operating the equipment—my response:
I’m wondering, if you’re about to deliver a boy or a girl—
To which the staff member replied:
I still have no clue as to what you mean?
Well, having been scooped up into this contraption, where
I’m all curled up as if being transported inside
A basket, the stork flew into my mind and as thoughts of
The stork, ‘delivering’ me, tickled my sense of humor
I imagined myself a baby and couldn’t help but
Wonder about my gender—At that, one staff member
Laughed while the other smiled and rolled his eyes
As for me, I’d thoroughly enjoyed myself and
Didn’t even have to take a peek to feel assured of being
Female, through and through, and by the time
The eye-roller had transported me to
The CT department to check out how much fluid had
Collected within my right collapsed lung, I asked to be
Transported to the complaint department after
The CT, because I wanted to file a report concerning
My belief that the stork in question had
Indulged in ‘more than few’ and my opinion had been
Based in the fact that my ride from bed to gurney felt
Somewhat more rocky than a babe in arms, like me
Would expect—This time, the eye roller laughed and
Replied: It’s not often that I see a sense of humor
Going strong right before a CT to determine
The amount of fluid that needs to be extracted by way of
A thoracentecis, and though that procedure was
No joking matter, the eye roller and I had managed to enjoy
Those few minutes, which came before and after the CT—
You see, sometimes, we get through life by
Taking one day at a time—sometimes
We get through a day, minute by minute, and though
My sense of humor doesn’t always show up
I sure do appreciate those times when it does ...