I began to write this blog (memoir) with thoughts of
Guiding others to enjoy marriages worth saving before
Complacency’s slow death march leads two unsuspecting
Souls blindly toward divorce court, where, if
Children are involved, two adults, who had once
Loved each other, will return to torture each other, perhaps
Passive-aggressively, till death do they part
I’d also planned to inspire parents by way of
Story telling to follow my lead concerning
Need to dust off and make sound use of
Their imaginations to conjure up creative methods of
Disciplining small children, whom they dearly love, with
Attitudes based in mutual respect and good humor, both of
Which require rewiring adult minds to grow aware of
How best to groom young minds by re-grooming
Their own toward heightening levels of
Parental patience to exceed and outlast
Every childish outburst that proves so natural as to
Be timeless, universal and classic to
Every generation, ever born
Seriously—common sense states that with clarity intact
Tis waaaay past time for adults to stop yelling at
Children for yelling as well as spanking children for hitting
I mean what kind of mixed message concerning
The emergence of emotional immaturity on the part of
Adult role models is that? Do as I say, not as I do ...
Since children are preprogrammed to learn by mimicking
Their brains are bound to do what parents do, dismissing
What was said unless what was said and done match
Repeatedly with consistency—in short
Parenthood demands personal growth in terms of
Developing mutually respectful, good natured
Leadership (communication skills) of one and all
Idealism at it’s best—right? ‘Shoot for the moon
Land amongst the stars’—‘Be the change you wish
For the world’—‘Life is either a great adventure or
Else it is nothing’—‘Everything is connected’—
just as your thigh bone is connected to your brain
As years of blogging progressed and one string of insights
Spotlighted the next, I came to see that
The person who’d been most in need of guidance—
Astute professional guidance (which, over time, inspired
My think tank to fully embrace my thought processor’s
Natural capacity to interconnect with the source of
My brain’s secret stash of inner wisdom, often referred to as
My insight-driven power of intuitive thought) has always
Been none other than me—and here’s where that
Last insight, concerning my sixth sense, rings aloud as
Clear as a bell each time deeper truth erupts through
My defense system’s wall of denial:
Time after time, my on-going need to fully recover from
PTSD has erupted through my defensive wall of denial in
It’s unrelenting attempt to spotlight
This next reality to which I am finally not blind:
Rather than fixating my conscious intelligence upon
Retiring My Fixer, my power of
Intuitive intelligence has been challenging
My brain’s whole-some connection to clarity
To identify and resolve deeply repressed
Inner conflicts, which have arrested the natural
(On-going) development of my processor’s
Good Mental Health ever since a line up of
Early childhood traumas derailed
My processor away from tracking
Insight-driven trains of thought fueled by
Strongly rooted deeper truths within
My very core, leading me to believe that
Whatever was said to disparage
My authenticity was somehow based in
Truth, which disabled my self worth from
Withstanding any emotional storm that
Threatened my personal safety, and
Today’s insight driven train of thought
Written by my brain’s well practiced power of
Intuition, wholly acknowledges my need to
Rewire (rather than retire) My Fixer’s
Mental focus toward concentrating
My mental energy upon working diligently to
Maintain a conscious sense of awareness concerning
My adult need to self soothe the deeply traumatized
Repressed (buried alive) portion of
My three year old brain, which subconsciously
Continues to pressure my current self-image to
Prove itself worthy of love by stretching
My think tank beyond human endurance while
Working to encourage each my loved ones to
Believe in their mental capacity to resolve
Every one of their unmet needs while
I continue to deny the very existence of
My own, most especially my need for
More down time to rest, relax and reset
My deeply stressed, over-stretched think tank with
Each candle that’s added, annually, to my cake—
And thus do we come to see why I need to
Rewire My Fixer to switch tracks toward
Refocusing its concentration upon
My mental good health by ‘looking in’ rather than
Exhausting my resources, scouting out
Unexplored territory, which is just beyond
Our family wagon train’s next horizon, and
Thus does today’s intuitive vision of newly
Expanded self awareness seem to be
Shaping up into (not a long range goal but rather)
A deeply personal life long pursuit, which
Has been aiming the spotlight of
My intuitive powers directly at the portion of
My self awareness, which has remained
Blind to the fact that tis waaay past time for
This parenting Instructor (who during
Her prime had guided thousands of families to
Embrace positive attitudes based in
Good humored, mutual respect) to
Pass the baton to her sons and retire, so that
The story teller, waiting patiently
In the wings for today’s Insight-laden
Train of thought to emerge with readiness to
Switch tracks, can take center stage for more than
A few days after posts, recently penned but not yet
Published for public consumption are withdrawn from
Drafts to assure the bright side of my mind that
Any self-conceived, fire breathing dragon, biding
Its time to drag my positively focused sense of logic
Back into the terrifying darkness of its lair with
Plans to fry my deeply deserved self worth to
A crisp, yet again, will be seen so clearly as to be
Whittled down to plastic toy size, small enough to
Be held in the palm of my hand, barring
The dark side of my mind from smoking up
The true light of days, weeks, months
And years to come in which
My spirit’s smile, feeling freed from
Yesteryear’s undeserved guilt, at long last, will
Mindfully absorb it just reward of
Enjoying a life well-lived, having mustered
The patience, courage and tenacious humility
Time and again, to believe in my brain’s
Expansive capacity to gather, absorb and
Store a wealth of knowledge, which empowers
The untarnished portion of my processor to
Guide my host of inner strengths towards growing
Ever more emotionally mature with each step that
My heart chooses to take as my loved ones and
I, hand in hand in hand, continue to approach
The great unknown, recharging each other’s
Positively focused connection to hope for
Change for the better—much more often than not ...
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