Upon awakening, today, I wondered how many of
Your processors have conscientiously taken
Note of this fact concerning the post penned
Right before this one: Over these past several days
One insight after another has emerged like
Bubbles blown into the air—each one seemingly riding
Piggyback on the last as though the whole lot is
Determined to coalesce so as to create a heartfelt yet
Permeable buffer around my conscious awareness while
My intelligence works toward loosening
The tightly bound sensation of inner conflict, which
Acting as my defense system’s red light, stops
My intuitive powers from signaling my subconscious of
My courageous readiness to stand alongside
My ever-evolving awareness of emotional maturity, which
Upon melding into one entity, empowers my inner strengths to
Gain control over uprisings of yesteryear’s fear, and
As my imagination serves to blend my sense of wholeness into
A mighty shield, all of me offers my long patient soul
Whatever time is still needed to release the weight of
Unshed tears, lightening my darkly shadowed self esteem to
Rise to its full height so as to reach so high as to lower
The ramp across the moat, freeing myself to advance, step by
Step, safely past the turbulent waters below my conscious
Awareness where naught but ghostlike bones, long since
Buried, will no longer arise from the grave to haunt
The nocturnal dreams of this woman, whose quest toward
Self-empowerment hopes to have quelled layers of
Inner conflict, which upon re-erupting during nightmares
See a strong spirited woman comforting
A sweet little girl, whose confusion, based in needs to be
Put peaceably to bed, at long last—
Ohhmm ...
So what, you might ask, does today’s post have to do with
My inviting your power of intuition to release your very own
Highly experiential answer to the brain teaser, above, that’s
Fated to float beyond our conscious awareness until a deeply
Buried truth arises, which feels so peaceably fully formed as
To flash before your eyes as clearly as I hope to grow
Aware of those times when the natural arousal of one of my
Defensive reactions is about to cook up a half crocked
Candy-coated fairytale, baked into a mincemeat pie so as to
Block my processor from serving up the detailed version of
A specific childhood experience, which had originally felt
So overwhelmingly terrifying as to have exploded the dastardly
Nature of its mirror image into a wildly distorted
Kaleidoscopic version of the truth so as to distract
My determination to uncover deeper truth by stuffing
Every shard of yesteryear’s piercingly painful reality back into
A zippered pocket of my subconscious before
My conscious awareness feels capable of capturing
The raw state of terror, which, though deeply repressed within
A tightly coiled state of being, remains alive and
Kicking within an eggshell of readiness that feels so
Thin skinned as to threaten cracking open so as to
Expose the last (most personally devastating) layers of
Latent anxiety associated with fear churning with anger in need of
Leaping out of subconscious memories that proved so
Viciously penetrating as to inspire my adult spirit’s courageous
Connection to personal safety to arise and slay
The beast within thus saving myself from feeling as
Savagely assaulted as had proved true a long while back when
The fledgling self esteem of my youth was still far too
Vulnerable to believe me worthy of standing up for myself on
Solid grounds while verbally duking it out with any God-like
Authority figure whose offer of love and devotion had
Made up the central focus of a gullible tyke’s egocentric vision of
Being at fault for creating the turbulent distructuon of that
Which had been her extended family’s utterly peaceful
Little corner of the world—
Hmmm ..
As reality deems me a gullible tyke no more but rather
An insight driven, intuitive, strong spirited, well educated
Experienced, intelligent, open minded, compassionate, creativ
Deep thinking, sensitive adult, who remains as hopeful as ever that
Clarity is closing in on spotlighting a specific terrifying
Moment in time, which will offer my think tank
Sound reason to taste the just rewards that at e sure to sweeten
The end of my lengthy quest to set latent uprisings of
Yesteryear’s anxiety free to float out of my subconscious upon
Today’s newly enhanced perspective, which
Having been refortified by the intuitive existence of
A self-protective unpiercable bubble that clearly encapsulates
The fiery nature of a deeper truth, which (at an early stage of
Life had threatened to burn my connection to sanity to
A crisp) no longer condemns the matured state of
My think tank to solitary confinement if I so much as
Crack open the door, behind which my courageous
Adult connection to clarity had been steadily readying
My entire being to embrace a well earned sense of
Wholesome wholeness so as to free deeply tormented soul of
A tortured thunderstruck child from feeling need to
Hide forever from a series of unlawful experiences that
Had they been remembered and reported, would have
Guilted him, liberating her innocence forever of having been
Complicit in a sin, which had solely been owned by
An out of control adult, who having won her love, had
Abused her small person to feed the sick nature of
His sexual greed in ways that would most certainly
Have set off fire alarms had my defensive wall not blocked
My conscious awareness to my participation in acts so vile S to
Have inspired Mother Nature to mercifully wave
The magic wand of amnesia over my awareness, causing
My memory to swallow every one of those moments within
The dark side of my brain until several years ago, when
A microscopic glimmer of conscious readiness caught sight of
The merest flash of insight, which barely brightened the dark side of
My think tank enough to show my conscious awareness
A shadowy squint of a hint of that which lay beyond
My mental block once I’d felt intuitively safe from harm within
The soothingly peaceful, utterly non-judgment emotional
Environment of my EMDR therapist’s office, where a deeply
Shamed, sweetly compliant, bright blue eyed, dark haired little girl
Began to feel enticed to take my hand as, together, she and ZK
Tiptoed ever so gingerly backward over a bed of
Red hot coals toward a deeply scary stage of her
Life’s existential adventure while both of us held fast to
The hand of a highly trained professional, whose
Unwavering patience inspired my wearied mind and spirit to
Believe in the depth of my intuition’s soulfully inspired
Kind=hearted intelligent quest to take as many Insight-driven
Baby steps as had proved necessary before
Each next leap of faith that has carried me forward toward
Penning today’s post offered my think tank one sound
Reason following another until I’d assembled so many
Strings of interrelated insights as to have come to
Relying upon my power of intuition to fathom
The depths of last night’s nightmare, which saw
My screams amid fits of anger thrashing around in
Such a loud manner as to have awakened Will, who’d
Been sleeping peacefully next to me until
My subconscious wanderings had alarmed
My husband of sudden need to awaken and
Comfort—not a deeply confounded, severely injured
Sweet little girl, crying like an abandoned kitten, left
Out in the cold but rather the unrepressed fury of
A strong spirited, soulfully courageous woman whom
I’ve conscientiously groomed my whole self to become—
(Though admittedly, more moments of Hmmm see
My processor hopping from here to there with the speed of
A hare like a hare, leaping from point A to point P and back to
B before leaping forward toward Q R S T—while
The Ohhmm-like tortoise, who dwells within
The naturally peaceful, intuitive portion of
My intelligence appears to be gaining on
The Hmmm=like hare, one insight at a time as though
A wise old owl has been guiding my storyteller to
Graciously, thus patiently, take a back seat so as to
Offer my soulful quest the freedom to heal
My body and spirit from tightly knotted deeply
Repressed layers of emotional pain though
My self propelled inner drive seems to
Glide forward as slowly as molasses until
We remember to consider my processor’s
Consciously determined, courageously steadfast
Emotionally readied—day by day, rebalanced pace—
Hmmm ...
PS
I have no clue how much of today’s rant makes sense
All I know for certain (before reviewing this post) is that
The intuitive portion of my brain felt a self empowered
Need to vent, so vent to my heart’s peaceful content, I did—
Ohhmmm ...
Hmmm ...
I’m feeling an insight bubbling forth—
Today’s rant may prove to be an intuitive prequel to
My subconscious storehouse of fury breaking loose ...
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