POTUS

Before penning more about gerbils, I feel need to vent a dark spot of deeply vexed frustration tinged with a somber sense of sadness, today ... so if certain insights are repeated, I beg your indulgence, knowing that repetition is not redundant when the goal of healing, thorough and through, (first from having experiencing a lifetime of fear (in the aftermath of my baby sister's death) concerning my not being worthy of love whenever I fell short of perfection, and then from a second self-conceived misperception that saw me paying penance for a soulless sin that had never been mine as it had been shockingly foisted upon an innocent child, who, somehow, feeling soiled deep inside, grew to adulthood without so much as a conscious clue as to why excessive amounts of repentance for not being perfect had failed to wash her (unidentified) self-demeaning attitude clean of ‘reprehensible’ wrong doing until—

Twenty-five years ago, when my outwardly sunny personality experienced sound reason to spiral into the depths of personal despair so dark as to utterly depress my spirit and confound my psyche, which felt need to seek answers to situations that had so dizzied my thought processor’s connection to logic as to make me question the principles that had guided my decisions throughout every developmental stage of my life until—

I sought out by-monthly sessions of EMDR therapy, each of which inspired me to wrap my growing awareness of fear (which began to erupt viscerally, 24/7, as though the central core of my being had need to weave itself into a self protective cocoon thus ‘creating’ a place of emotional safety where my think tank felt free to reflect ever more deeply over my past in a serene environment where my anxious sense of danger closing in would relax, freeing my power of intuition to guide my think tank to muster the courage to back track ever more objectively through each developmental stage of my childhood as if this imaginary emotional cocoon provided my depressed spirit time to re-energize so as to inspire my intelligence to work determinedly at stripping away each layer of my defensive wall of denial, thus strengthening my newly found ability to revisit terrifying moments, which, riding out of subconscious memory on strings of insight that flashed through my mind, ignited my brain’s a self empowered spotlight to shine so brightly as to reveal one repressed (unidentified) fear after another, each of which had harbored a darkly clouded reason for abandoning my good opinion of myself during my youth, based in my ‘failure’ to have lived up to my misinterpretation of my parents’ unrealistic expectations, which suggested that I’d expected their good little girl to behave impeccably, 24/7 forever—until—

The emergence of each insight-driven intuitive sensation of deeper truth, which emerged from subconscious memory, revealed one inner conflict after another, all of which felt so complex as to have overwhelmed my processor, which is why each one tunneled toward the surface on conscious awareness disguised as spikes of latent anxiety as though to offer my intelligence puzzling hints of my repressed misperception of myself as being either a very good or a very bad girl with no wiggle room in between those opposing polar extremes, and as hints of inner conflict (concerning confounding disparagements that saw my adult self image swing from feeling courageously angelic to terrorizing my psyche with self-demeaning misperceptions and back to shining my halo and spreading my wings in a flash) became ever more frequent, my processor’s disconnection frim clarity flooded over with emotional confusion, which rattled my think tank’s peaceable connection to common sense each time I so much as ventured out of my cocoon, because everything that I’d been taught to believe in, concerning ‘family first’ would explode in my face, suggesting that nothing seemed to make sense, any more, so feeling utterly overwhelmed with an escalating sense of mental confusion that I’d feared would become so combustible as to explode through my well-practiced line of self control  I found myself crying, aloud, non-stop, as though my heart had experienced sound reason to break anew, every day, so I stepped up my connection to professional help in hopes of understanding why tears streamed down my cheeks as if my eyes were faucets in need of new washers until—

Intuitive strings of inter-related insights, which had continued to flash through my conscious awareness serving as flashbacks, lit up dark spots that had been haunting my lost sense of safety, beginning in childhood, as though ghosts, arising from the dead, were electrifying my conscious memory by plugging my processor into this classic trio of deeper truths:
*The unexamined life is not worth living
*Know thyself (meaning both sides of oneself, and—here comes a really long one)
*Everyone harbors an ego that relies upon a many layered defensive wall of denial, which serves to block our processors from discerning misperceptions (which prove highly imaginative in nature) from reality—and if you’d like a prime example of a mega-maniacal egocentric defensive wall that’s composed of more layers of denial than my mind can peaceably absorb then let’s spotlight the ego that swells the circumference of Donald Trunp’s head to hot-air-ballooning proportions, suggesting why I’ve never been able to fathom the presidential hat as fitting The Donald’s modus operands for even one second—you see, I honor the office of the highest elected official of the free world with the utmost respect, and while I’d respected the opinions of some who have held that position more than others, never have any before Trump offered me sound reason to loath the occupant of that post before now, which is why no portion of my brain has ever been able to accept Mr. Trump as POTUS.  Simply put:  My thought processor cannot confer the honor of President of The United States of America upon an individual who proves so despicable on a daily basis as to freely and disrespectfully insult the intelligence of every person who refuses to kow tow to the naked preening of The Emperor whose presumptuous blindness, concerning his misrepresentation of reality, considers no one’s welfare other than his own.  Rather than being presidential, I see The Donald as portraying a Pretentious Pretender to a non-existent ‘Throne’ as Emperor Greed views planet Earth as his personal Empire.  And nothing is politically more reprehensible than the reality of mob mentality made up of lackeys—I mean voters—who have empowered this naked bigot to darken the doorway of The White House by calling it home—until my attention turns toward the body of elected officials, who make up our self-serving legislators whose egocentric role in determining the recent history of our nation’s decline turns a blind eye and deaf ear to the fact that at every level of government the contemptible nature of political corruption has ballooned to bursting through its mask of false respectability so as to have showered our small towns and mega cities with ineffectiveness at every level of politics, beginning with empty promises made by local governments facing bankruptcy after ill conceived attempts to wrap the elephant in the room in red tape proved so impossible that none have been able to whitewash their connection to graft as had once been the rule of thumb, and don’t get me started on their life-long pensions and a health plan, both of which might keep the little guy, who’s drowning in debt, treading water, because, while venting, I must not forget to spotlight dark clouds of political corruption ascending to the heights of The Supreme Court of the land, as today’s Me Too movement resurrects memories of Anita Hill, standing alone in courageous defiance of the old-boys-will-be-boys network, leading the charge against Clarence Thomas, whose unbridled abuse of power proved as matter-of-fact as proves true of Trump’s today, whose own words, broadcast on national TV, exposed his low life opinion of women by voicing an attitude of free handed, sexually abusive, disrespectful, manhandling, inclusive of oogling America’s disrobed, teen-aged daughters, though none of his leering boastful, heavy handed intrusions opened the eyes of the electorate, who'd failed to foil the election of this bully, whose very presence soils the sanctity of the Oval Office on a daily basis without so much as a twitter of shame, and if our nation’s supreme leader is just another shameless abuser of womanhood’s innocence, who (rather than being publicly chastised as was true of President Clinton) finds his lying self flying high in air force one, landing the highest office in the land then, in addition to legislating control over the murderous spread of gunfire, spraying death over innocent lives of all ages, legislation must be passed to create change for the better, insuring that sexual abusers accused by multiple women, many of whom have been silenced by hefty payoffs, are undisputedly declared unqualified to run for public office or be appointed to the highest court in the land!

WHEW!

Talk about my having harbored layers of repressed fury, compromised by layers of repressed fear, each of which has long been in need of identifying and venting, individually, so as to re-establish the lost sense of clarity that restores the good health of every rebalanced processor, which, like mine, has had need to release the venom that rattles the self image of millions of innocent children, who grow up to become deep thinking adults, who while the scales of justice close their eyes freeing power mongers to reign supreme over all without so much as breaking their stride, which is why I just can’t fathom what in heaven God has in mind as their just desserts each time a bully enters a house of worship (or stands outside the pearly gates) praying for the deliverance of a soul that has long since been sold to the devil—just saying.

And now, having had the presence of mind to release at least a small portion of today’s hot spot of fury, concerning corruption unmasked at every level of our governing bodies, inclusive of bishops, CEO’s, teachers, coaches, beloved comedians, actors, producers, grandfathers, uncles, neighbors and boyfriends, rather than suppressing emotion, this bigger picture of moral laxity, which no longer keeps mega-egocentricism in check, burns holes into my current connection to peace of mind each time a current event stimulates my think tank to return to yesteryear in hopes of mending another aspect of my personal sense of safety, which had been shredded along with my innocence by a wolf in sheep’s clothing whose mask of respectability fell to the wayside as his naked lust ravaged my youthful vulnerability so savagely, repeatedly, as to have erected my defense system’s wall of denial to salvage the sanity of a small child, whose subconscious had swallowed the horror of each mind blowing, gut wrenching, muscle tensing experience whole, so that every detail of what proved to be multiple attacks upon my person burrowed ever more deeply into my psyche behind my mental block where life’s most insane experiential moments are condensed and ‘forgotten’ (until I make the mistake of watching or reading the grizzliest news stories after which I go to bed, where yesteryear's howls, which shatter the silence in the still of the night, are set free so as to awaken Will, who, at times, has had to work at gently coaxing me out of a series of nightmares that resurrect detailed portions of repressed experiences which proved so shockingly horrendous as to have been repressed not after but during each brutal attack that struck a child’s undeveloped, utterly overwhelmed, deeply confounded intelligence so bereft of comprehension as to have wiped my conscious memory clean, suggesting why I’d felt assaulted anew, repeatedly, as every second of senselessness that I’d experienced left me feeling as victimized by voicelessness as had originally been true during my lifetime of nightmares, unlike those of today in which the assertive child in my nocturnal dreamscapes screams bloody murder each time MY innocence is about to be assaulted by a dark, hairy beast-like creature, who looks vaguely familiar (hmmm—perhaps I'm nearing intuitive readiness to change repressed anger to suppressed fury now that I’ve mustered the courage to confront the harsh reality of a deeply confounding, highly distressing portion of my developmental past) as terror stricken memories re-emerge in the night though details present themselves in a highly complex state of being in need of astute interpretation, because my defense system continues to be a riddling little critter—sooo—what if the self demeaning demon, buried alive deep within the subconscious portion of your brain, is the voice of repressed fear (of failure/abandonment) which, beginning in childhood, has unconsciously prodded you to excel beyond human endurance at everything you take on, and what if subconscious need to resuscitate a detailed account of the most terrifying experiences of your youth proves necessary to ignite hindsight's flashlight of insight, which will illuminate deeper truths that offer your conscious processor sound reason to change your faulty self assessment for the better by shrinking your inner demon down to child-sized proportions rather than offering your lifetime of guilt-ridden self assessment free rein to continue to disrupt your adult connection to inner peace each time your intelligence is sucked into the dark side of your mind where your subconscious misperception concerning the overwhelming depths of your undeserved guilt (born of a tongue lashing, perhaps, that proved much too harsh to match a small child’s misdemeanor) will escape your adult awareness for as long as your many-layered defensive wall of denial serves as a mental block that blinds your mind’s eye from identifying how often your subconscious reflections declare you to be more humanly imperfect than anyone else who has ever existed on planet earth (as was subconsciously true of me)?  And if the voice of that demon (which as you grew up morphed into your voice of fearful self degradation) is allowed to blindside your intelligence, repeatedly, then today’s insight into deeper truth turns the spotlight of hindsight upon this riddle:  How often did your inner demon compel your self demeaning mindset to strive toward the impossibility of achieving perfection so single-mindedly as to have caused you to injure yourself whenever your lack of self-awareness unknowingly bypassed common sense due to the fact that your concentration remained focused solely upon surpassing—not just the skill set of everyone else but—your own highly skilled accomplishments, which had already been achieved, suggesting that no level of self-improvement will satisfy your over-achiever’s subterranean mission to perfect whatever remains imperfect as long as your deeply competitive nature has not yet gained so much as a glimmer of a clue as to when your greatest foe (the demon within that lives and breathes and ties your intuitive connection to insight into tight, tension-filled knots) commandeers control over every portion of your brain, suggesting that no one can ‘perfect’ the disruption of your inner peace as unnervingly as you prove to do, all by your tenacious single-minded self, and what if your repressed affliction of harboring latent frustration with life’s imperfections continues to create so much inner turmoil as to deny your power of intuitive thought the peaceful mental environment that’s necessary for the magic of your mind to awaken, each morning, with classic insights bubbling forth, which will not pop before they can be strung together so as to reconstruct the most puzzling aspects of the bigger picture of your life, which, upon being absorbed by the inner sanctum of your open-minded, sponge-like thought processor, will fill in the missing piece that had discombobulated your think tank's natural connection to inner peace when you were too young to understand that adult temper tantrums were not your fault.  And now that my intuitive powers have peaceably coached me to pen today’s insight-driven train of thought, concerning the fact that a storehouse of negatively focused frustration is submerged within the turbulent rapids of every person’s subconscious, including yours and mine, we can clearly see how defensive mental blocks blind us from spotlighting the primary reason why your paucity of inner peace is run as ragged as had been true of mine—Geez!  If life is short then how much longer will the unconscious portion of your brain feed your inner demon banquets of latent frustration that will remain repressed (buried alive) until your brain stops chastising your human imperfections while chasing each next vision of perfection that's nothing more than a mirage.  Once your conscious awareness gains the insight to differentiate between re-emergent bouts of latent anxiety vs. a near and present danger that threatens your connection to safety, your thought processor will no longer run itself ragged on a wheel heading nowhere fast, like a gerbil in a cage that’s actually unlocked!  I mean, seriously—though many loving hearts may encourage you to relax, no one can feed your gerbil soul-soothing pellets of positively focused, peaceful reflection that inspires you to embrace the reality of your kind-hearted goodness but a remodeled, rebalanced, relaxed version of YOU!  Hmmm ...

Though Ive always voted along democratic lines, I  wish our nation could have experienced a John McCain presidency (had he’d not made the mind addling mistake of listening to a body of advisors, who’d tainted his candidacy by adding the narrow scope of Sarah Pallin to his ticket), and though I never experienced the personal pleasure of knowing Senator McCain, my heart feels as sad to know that a truly strong hearted, national hero lost his life to a virulent brain tumor, this week, as my brain feels need to release suppressed anger whenever dt comes to mind—Hmmm ... I wonder what will prove to be the human vulnerability that brings dt and the egocentric ineffectiveness of our failing political system) to their knees ...

Hey— now that another layer of deeply repressed fury, expressed clearly and logically, has been released by way of penning today’s post, I’d like to tell you where I’ve been, over these past three weeks, followed by relating the story about my father and a hungry pair of gerbils running on wheels—unless, of course, a current event captures the full attention of my mind—in truth, one never knows when our intuitive powers will tickle our processors sense of intrigue thus altering the direction of our logically planned, straight and narrow, mental paths
Ohhmmm ....

PS
Though I have no reason to question Socrates's statement:  'Know Thyself'
'The unexamined life is not worth living' offers me reason to think twice ...

PSS
Guess what keeps life interesting?
The fact that Hmmm's titivate the state of our minds much more often than Ohmmm's

MORE ABOUT OUR NEED TO SHRINK THE SELF DEMEANING DEMONS THAT ADDLE OUR INTELLIGENCE MORE OFTEN THAN WE’D THINK

Sooo—what if the self demeaning demon, buried alive deep within the subconscious portion of your brain, is the voice of repressed fear (of failure/abandonment) which, beginning in childhood, has unconsciously prodded you to excel beyond human endurance at everything you take on, and what if need to recreate a detailed account of the most terrifying experience of your youth proves necessary to igniting flashes of insight that will shine the spotlight of deeper truth upon sound reason for your adult sense of hindsight to consciously change your faulty self assessment for the better by shrinking your inner demon down to child-sized proportions rather than offering your guilt-ridden self assessment free rein to continue to disrupt your connection to inner peace by sucking your intelligence into the dark side of your mind where your subconscious misperception concerning the overwhelming depths of your undeserved guilt (born of a tongue lashing that proved much too harsh to match a small child’s misdemeanor) will escape your adult awareness for as long as your many-layered defensive wall of denial serves as a mental block that blinds your mind’s eye from identifying how often your misperceptive guilt-ridden subconscious reflections declare you to be more humanly imperfect than anyone else who has ever existed on planet earth?  And if that demon is allowed to blindside your intelligence, repeatedly, then today’s insight into deeper truth turns the spotlight of hindsight upon this riddle:  How often might your inner demon compel your self demeaning mindset to strive toward the impossibility of achieving perfection so single-mindedly as to injure yourself whenever your lack of self-awareness unknowingly bypasses common sense due to the fact that your concentration remains focused solely upon surpassing—not just the skill set of everyone else but—your own highly skilled accomplishments, which have already been achieved, though no level of self-improvement will satisfy your over-achiever’s subterranean mission to perfect whatever remains imperfect as long as your deeply competitive nature has not yet gained so much as a glimmet of a clue as to when your greatest foe (the demon within that lives and breathes and ties your intuitive connection to insight into tight, tension-filled knots) has commandeered control over every portion of your brain, suggesting that no one can ‘perfect’ the disruption of your inner peace as unnervingly as you prove to do, all by your tenacious single-minded self, and what if your perpetual affliction of harboring repressed frustration with life’s imperfections continues to create so much inner turmoil as to deny your power of intuitive thought the peaceful mental environment that’s necessary for the magic of your mind to awaken, each morning, with classic insights bubbling up that will not pop before they can be absorbed by the inner sanctum of your open-minded, sponge-like thought processor.  And now that my intuitive powers have peaceably coached me to pen today’s insight-driven train of thought, concerning the fact that a storehouse of negatively focused frustration is submerged within the turbulent rapids of every person’s subconscious, including yours and mine, we can see how defensive mental blocks blind us from spotlighting the primary reason why your paucity of inner peace is run as ragged as had been true of mine—Geez!  If life is short then how much longer will the unconscious portion of your brain feed your inner demon banquets of repressed frustration born of human imperfection thus re-energizing bouts of latent anxiety to arise, compelling your thought processor to run itself ragged on a wheel heading nowhere fast, like a gerbil in a cage that’s actually unlocked!  I mean, seriously—though many loving hearts may encourage you to relax, no one can feed your gerbil soul-soothing pellets of positively focused, peaceful reflection but a newly undizzied, rebalanced, relaxed version of YOU!  Hmmm ...

Hey—have I ever told you the story about my father and a hungry pair of gerbils running on wheels?

WHAT IF IDENTIFYING INNER DEMONS BURIED ALIVE DURING CHILDHOOD FREES YOU TO EMBRACE THE ILLUSIVE NATURE OF YOUR HEARTFELT DESIRE—HMMM ...

Though only one new insight bubbled up, today
This insight is so profound as to stand its ground on its own, so
Let’s straighten our thinking caps and imagine our minds to be
As thirsty as sponges, because, once we’re ready to absorb today’s
Insight, the spotlight of enlightenment will illuminate the reason why
Freedom to win our heart’s desire depends upon the same degree of
Courage that proves true when the conscious portion of our brains
Works toward heightening its connection to self awareness by
Rising above fear so as to peer over our defense system’s
Wall of denial, which proves necessary if we are to turn
The spotlight of insight onto our own personal demons, which
Having been buried alive within the subconscious portion of
Our minds during childhood, remains empowered to cause
Our self image to quake with fear as long those
Unidentified demons remain so deeply repressed within
The dark side of every adult human brain as to offer each of us
No conscious clue as to how often our faces wear
An I don’t care mask, behind which exists this deeper truth:
Your personal demon (or mine) feels free to release spikes of
Subconscious anxiety, which unconsciously manipulates
Your current decision-making process (or mine) much more often than
Our conscious connection to self awareness is aware, and
Guess what just happened?  Today’s solitary insight has expanded so as
To have doubled up, suggesting that we’d be wise to focus our eyes upon
Catching sight of insight #2, which being directly related to
Insight #1, suggests that the unnamed demon, which has remained buried
Alive (ever since childhood) deep inside the fearful portion of our minds, is
Actually the same tension-causing culprit that will, one day, show itself to be
A self demeaning little trickster that is responsible for making us feel so
Imperfect as to declare oneself undeserving of embracing our heart’s desires
Without feeling guilty of wrong doing, just as we’d found ourselves
Sitting in the hot seat, declared guilty during childhood by
The over reactive nature of a beloved adult who had caused us to
Mistakenly believe that our misbehaviors (which in hindsight proved
Universally natural to expect from small fry) were so reprehensible as to
Condemn oneself to pay penance for any and all eruptive escalations of
Tension in our families—forever!  Oy! 
PS
Speaking of ‘solving for unknowns’, we’ve recently acquired
Five additional followers from an unidentified location that
Stats refers to as ‘Unknown Region’. so if one of you, who
Has recently begun to follow my posts, chooses to
Drop me a comment naming your country or territory (do
Unincorporated territories stll exist?) I’d truly feel appreciative—
Hmmm ...

I MUST HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD

The intuitive portion of my thought processor has continued to draw my attention toward reviewing  the insight-driven post originally penned on Friday, August 17, 2018, and each time my intuitive voice pipes up, my antenna pop up, catching wind of a magnetic force that entices my intelligence to muster the patience to reconsider that which has already been written in hopes of hindsight offering my conscious awareness another sparkling gem of universal wisdom that proves timeless!

As always, it’s my pleasure to invite your magical power of intuitive intelligence to swim parrellel with mine as our intelligent brains dive into the deep end of our minds in hopes of continuing to discover classic insights that our conscious connection to self awareness is currently being guided to soak in, retrospectively, so as to encourage our think tanks to focus upon creating changes for the better by encouraging negative attitudes that are unconscious in nature to switch tracks toward positively focused attitudes, based in expanding our perceptions, which serve to re-energize our spirits as we make devious that improve our lives, immeasurably—
Hmmm ...

ON MODELING MUTUAL RESPECT AND SELF RESPECT

Please check out the new ending that my intuitive powers just guided my conscious awareness to attach to the post penned on Friday, August 17, 2018
Thank you
;)

HOW DOES BLENDING WORK ETHICS, PATIENCE, AND CREATIVE PLAYFULNESS WITH SELF AWARENESS ENHANCE INNER PEACE?

Remember my homework assignment, which, though mentioned a while back, has yet to be described?  Well, having been coached to ‘practice this change in my awareness’, I, being an over achiever, have been practicing this change for the better in my self awareness, several times, every day, and once readiness is mine, I’ll detail insights absorbed concerning the fact my physical and emotional reactions prove to be conjoined as naturally as two sides of the same coin are indivisible—
Hmmm ...

(The PS penned below was not added until MONDAY morning, 8/20/2018, at which time I chose to review this post when, suddenly, my intuitive powers plugged my processor into a flash of insight that shot through my mind like a flaming arrow aimed at illuminating a train of thought that you might like to consider for yourself ...)

PS
I beg your pardon for being so bold as to tickle your curiosity by hinting that my processor has just added a string insights to the post penned previous to this one—Hmmm ...

IMAGINE A SWEET CHILD’S TROUBLED SOUL GROWING SO SELF AWARE AS TO ...

IMAGINE A SWEET CHILD’S TROUBLED SOUL TREMBLING WITH FEAR AFTER HAVING BEEN GRABBED UP OUT OF A BUBBLE BATH BY THE ANGRY ARM OF A POWERFUL ‘GIANT’, WHO TOSSES THE INEXPERIENCED SWIMMER TOWARD A WATERFALL CASCADING INTO TORRENTS OF ROCKY RAPIDS MANY YEARS BEFORE THAT CHILD, HAVING GROWN TO EMOTIONALLY MATURED ADULTHOOD, SENSES A SPIRITUAL NEED TO SEEK OUT A RIVER WHERE A LATE-IN-LIFE SOULMATE, WHO HAS BEEN MINDFULLY ENGAGED WITH AN INTUITIVE QUEST FOR INNER PEACE, HOPES TO INSPIRE THE HEARTFELT INTELLIGENCE OF A KINDRED SPIRIT TO QUEST ALONG SIDE OF HER TECHNICOLORED VIEW OF LIFE, AS TOGETHER THEY SWIM AGAINST THE CURRENT, UPSTREAM, WHILE EACH ENCOURAGES THE OTHER TO DIVE EVER MORE DEEPLY WITHIN ONE’S OWN MINDSPACE SO AS TO INSPIRE BOTH PROCESSORS TO GROW EVER MORE CONSCIOUS OF INTUITIVE READINESS TO IMMERSE ONESELF WITHIN POOLS OF SOUL-SOOTHING HOT SPRINGS WHERE LATENT UPRISINGS OF REPRESSED TENSION, RELAXING IN STILL WATERS OF SELF FORGIVENESS, FEEL BOTH PROTECTIVE WALLS OF DENIAL,  WHICH HAD LAYERED UP BEGINNING IN CHILDHOOD, MELTING DOWN SO AS TO FREE THE STOLEN INNOCENCE OF SOULMATES (WHO’D THOUGHT THEMSELVES IN SEPARATE CAMPS) TO  FEEL NEWLY INSPIRED TO WORK FROM EITHER END TOWARD CARVING A PATH, WHICH, UPON MEETING IN THE MIDDLE, WILL SPARK THE SPOTLIGHT OF INSIGHT TO ILLUMINATE THIS DEEPER TRUTH:  AS KINDRED SPIRITS GROW TOWARD EMBRACING HEIGHTENED LEVELS OF EMOTIONAL MATURITY, THEIR COMBINED FAITH IN INTUITING INSIGHT-DRIVEN CREATIVITY WILL GUIDE THEIR INTELLIGENCE TOWARD CONSCIENTIOUSLY DEEPENING THEIR MINDFUL CONNECTION TO SELF AWARENESS  UNTIL THE SINGULAR INGENUITY OF THEIR PERSONAL QUESTS CREATES A MUTUALLY EXPANSIVE STATE OF READINESS TO REJOICE AS TWO PARALLEL PATHS CONVERGE INTO ONE SO NATURALLY THAT A PAIR OF UNIQUE INDIVIDUALS ACKNOWLEDGES THE FACT THAT BOTH HAVE BEEN FATED TO ACCOMPLISH THE STEP-BY-STEP MENTAL PROCESS THAT PROVES NECESSARY TO SUCCESSFULLY RECOVER THE INNATE SENSE OF INNER PEACE THAT EACH HAD UNKNOWINGLY LOST DURING CHILDHOOD’S UNFATHOMABLE TURBULENCE—WHICH NO ONE ESCAPES EMOTIONALLY UNSCATHED—DUE TO THIS FACT:  THE EGOCENTRIC NATURE OF A CHILD’S INEXPERIENCED MISPERCEPTION (CONCERNING GUILTING ONESELF OF HARBORING HUMAN IMPERFECTIONS) HOLDS ONESELF SOLELY ACCOUNTABLE FOR ESCALATING FAMILY TENSIONS, SUGGESTING THAT THE TRUE CULPRIT, WHICH SCARES SMALL FRY OUT OF OUR WITS (BEFORE YOUR FLEDGLING SELF ESTEEM AND MINE HAVE HAD SUFFICIENT TIME TO TRULY MATURE INTO FULL-FLEDGED SELF RESPECT) IS A YOUNG CHILD’S IMAGINATIVE MISPERCEPTIONS, WHICH ARE THEN REPRESSED UNTIL EACH OF US SETS OUT UPON AN INTUITIVE QUEST TO REFORTIFY OUR WEAKENED CONNECTION TO INNER PEACE, WHICH, UPON RESTRENGTHENING, FREESUX TI TAKE SELF-EMPOWERED LEAPS OF FAITH TOWARD CALMING FUTURE UPRISINGS OF LATENT ANXIETY THAT WE’D NOT DESERVED TO EXPERIEBCE, IN THE FIRST PLACE —OHHMMM ...

How often do children’s ears asorb:
Be quiet, right now!
Be respectful, right now!
Be nice. right now!
Be kind, right now!
Share your toys, right now!
Come home, right now!
Do your homework, right now!
Get your chores done, right now!
Get up, right now!
Calm down, right now!
Lower your voice, right now!
Change your tone, right now!
Change your attitude, right now!
Go to time out, right now!
Get up, right now!
Get dressed, right now!
Go to your room, right now!
Clean up your room, right now!
Get ready for bed, right now!
Go to sleep, right now!
Stop complaining, right now!
Stop crying, right now!
Stop yelling, right now!
Stop hitting, right now!
Stop that, right now!
Say you’re sorry, right now!
Say please!
Say thank you!
Jump when I say—all of the above—or else!

(Kind of like growing up in boot camp, right?)

On the other hand, who might toddlers around the globe grow up to
Be if, on a daily basis, they were accustomed to swimming through
Life’s stages hearing soothing voice tones crooning:
As you mature toward adulthood and we naturally encounter conflicts
I’ll actively, lovingly and effectively encourage you to clearly feel that
You deserve to receive as much self disciplined respect and
Cooperation from me as I’ll consistently encourage you to
Respectfully offer freely to me as well as to everyone else you
Ever encounter, and, over these next eighteen years of
Living, together and beyond (once your inner strengths
Have practiced readiness to navigate river rapids on your own)
We can both look forward to having plenty of time to
Work patiently through each next developmental stage of
Our lives as we lovingly and ever more intuitively review
Enhance, expand and absorb our processors’ need to
Brainstorm together toward deepening our intuitive
Understanding of the classic nature of this timeless reality:
The complex concepts of mutual respect AND self respect are
Indivisibly intertwined just as is true of roots and wings—
OHHMMM ...

TIS HIGH TIME TO MAKE A POINT THAT SPINS PENSIVENESS INTO A TOP

Starting with the line beginning with the word ‘Rockiness’
You may decide to review the last portion of the last post
Penned before today’s popped up on your screen, and
If an incentive is needed to peak your curiosity concerning
Insights added to that post only moments ago then
Here’s a taste of what your processor can expect to absorb:
Insights added to that post, this morning, will spotlight
The significant part played by creativity when
Your heart longs to expand that which had once seemed like
A one way street to nowhere into a four-way intersection that
A fully enriched life is meant to create and navigate, and
Since life is short, may I respectfully suggest that
Though patience is a virtue, we’ve not a moment to
Waste, because the last chapter in THE BOOK OF LIFE may
Unexpectedly turn to the page where The End, referencing
Everyone’s ultimate fate, suggests why today’s post
Offers each of us sound reason to spin patience (along with
Pensiveness) into a swirling top that makes haste to ready our
Intelligence to take a series of courageous leaps of faith so as
Not to swerve, unexpectedly, toward need to pen
A tear-stained epilogue, sometime down the road (sooner than
Later) where dispirited sadness due to regret stares back at
Us whenever we face a mirror image of decisions
Made in the past when anxiety had spiked so high on
Both sides of the street as to have blinded soulmates from
Seeing any street signs except for the one that led both
Toward making U-turns away from any chance of
Figuring out how two heads, being better than one, could
Have worked through inner conflict in a methodical
Step-by-step manner so as to mindfully continue to
Carve out a cooperative, mutually respectful
Pathway toward the signpost pointing to
The deeply considered, well balanced destination of
Happily-ever-after for everyone whose hearts remain
Soulfully focused upon taking care to cruise forward
So insightfully as to carefully create a freeway that
Incorporates emotional safety into the plan, which
Caringly considers the well being of everyone concerned—
Hmmm ...

IMAGINE A SWEET CHILD’S TROUBLED SOUL BEING TOSSED FROM BUBBLE BATHS TOWARD WATERFALLS CASCADING INTO TORRENTS OF ROCKY RAPIDS BEFORE ADULTHOOD SENSES NEED TO SEEK A LATE LIFE SOULMATE, WHOSE PERSONAL QUEST FOR WHOLENESS INSPIRES THE INTELLIGENCE OF ANOTHER TO QUEST EVER MORE DEEPLY WITHIN UNTIL SELF AWARENESS DEEPENS , OVER TIME, SO AS TO—HMMM ...

A soul soothing bubble bath awaits any adult who chooses to immerse
Naked brain ever so thoughtfully within last post penned so
As to absorb additional insights; which, piggybacking like
Bubbles do, flashed through the conscious portion of
My mind, this morning —

Just as is true of bubbles, cascading through the air, strings of
Interrelated insights streaming through our minds create
A waterfall effect so transparent as to pop, pop, pop when
A child’s daily life proves more pointedly rocky than
The conscious portion of the undeveloped think tank can
Process, leaving a frightened child wondering:
What the heck has caused everything that had
Felt safe and sound to suddenly make me feel like
Im drowning in a mud slide of mega proportions, so please ready
3D goggles (designed to enhance clarity) in hopes of oogling
The emergence of every deeper truth, which had been added to
The last post penned, and please take note of the fact that
The depths of today’s ‘Adults only’ diving adventure into
The previous post penned requires a snorkel thus ensuring
Breathing evenly so as to keep brain well oxygenated in
Likeliness of inhaling muddied waters while turning
A bend where steep cliff challenges even the strongest of
Swimmers to get a grip on today’s deeply personal, heartfelt
Aspirations before mental complexity plunges head over heels into
Uncharted territory so as insure truly living life to the fullest though
The river (below the surface conscious awareness) is bound to
Roughen up rapid-ly, from time to time, thus offering your latent sense of
Inner conflict (and mine) countless chances to weather the classic nature of
Emotional storminess, which invariably precedes smooth sailing into
The glorious sunset that welcomes only the most courageous of
Swimmers whose lives have been so deeply well-lived as to inspire
Any historian worth listening to to remind us to remember that
Every new insight-driven train of intuitive thought, which
Tunnels clearly through the intuitive mindfulness of a scholarly soul, is
As naturally connected to the last and next train of thought as is
True of today’s train of thought, which is guiding your
Existential sense of adventure and mine to bubble up so
Inventively as to call forth creativity, which encourages
Our processors to think out of the box whenever we experience
Heartfelt need to detour away from any dead end that
Hindsight will, one day in the future, prove to be of
Latent anxiety’s making, and now that my power of
Intuitive thought has penned the entirety of today’s post so as to
Describe the classic nature of every love story worth experiencing
Tis time to climb out of muddied waters into a boat, whose
Sails have been set toward reviewing the last post penned before
We float peaceably toward clear waters in hopes of spying
A tranquil dock where our processors, feeling free to ponder over
Treasured memories, may inspire our conscious state of awareness to
Relax in hopes of naturally absorbing insights meant to refocus
Our full attention upon decisions made in haste, sometime back, because
It’s never too late to expand yesteryear’s highly personal vision of
How best to utilize the intuitively creative portion of our brains with which
Mother Nature gifted our think tanks to act like magic wands most
Especially at times when our spirits, flagging at half mast as though having
Been fated to spin in a downward spiral toward a negatively focused, imagined
Disaster, can envision nothing more than that which seems like
A darkly dismal dead end, directly ahead, because our intuitive
Connection to a fully relaxed attitude, based in positively focused
Self-awareness, still has need to gain a clarified sense as to
When spikes of repressed anxiety have been stimulated to leap from
Subconscious hiding into the conscious portion of our brains so
Quickly as to blind our mind’s eye from processing a pressing need to
Expose a latent uprising of one of yesteryear’s negative attitudes, which, upon
Narrowing our focus (like blinders on horses) limits our sights from
Being so expansive as to take note of those times when
Our chosen path appears to be a one way street heading straight toward
Slamming into a solid brick wall when deeper truth suggests that
Our think tanks are in need of rebalancing insight-driven
Intuitive creativity with logical problem-solving skills, right-on-the-spot so
As to encourage our processors to pour forth the foundation of
A four way intersection where a one way street, heading straight towards
That brick wall, had seemed to exist until your thought processor
(And/or mine) had practiced blending many of Mother Nature’s
Mental gifts, together (thus referencing the fact that my recent
Homework assignment, concerning the active enhancement of
Self awareness, has recently fueled my intuitive intelligence to
Enjoy a series of magic carpet rides, each of which has, thus far, landed
My connection to wholeness upon an ever heightening plateau where
Inner conflict, hoping to spy an open highway leading toward inner peace, has
Relaxed as my intuitive belief in the power of positive focus, which
Continues to deepen each time I do my homework, inspires
My emotional intelligence to consciously acknowledge any sudden uprising of
Repressed anxiety, which, upon being readily released into
The air, at long last, cleanses my processor of yet another childhood
Fear ‘buried-alive, and each time another self-demeaning little critter is
Exhaled, I find my whole self inhaling oxygen so freely and naturally as to open
My mouth respectfully and assertively so as to state my case so simply and
Peaceably as to banish every trace of inner conflict, which in turn
Strengthens my connection to sound reasoning, and each time I’ve cleansed
My mind of even one smudge of muddied anxiety, my refortified
Connection to reality deviates from common sense—NOT AT ALL!
Ohhmm ... :)

CATCHING BUBBLES BEFORE THEY POP, POP, POP ...

Upon awakening, today, I wondered how many of
Your processors have conscientiously taken
Note of this fact concerning the post penned
Right before this one: Over these past several days
One insight after another has emerged like
Bubbles blown into the air—each one seemingly riding
Piggyback on the last as though the whole lot is
Determined to coalesce so as to create a heartfelt yet
Permeable buffer around my conscious awareness while
My intelligence works toward loosening
The tightly bound sensation of inner conflict, which
Acting as my defense system’s red light, stops
My intuitive powers from signaling my subconscious of
My courageous readiness to stand alongside
My ever-evolving awareness of emotional maturity, which
Upon melding into one entity, empowers my inner strengths to
Gain control over uprisings of yesteryear’s fear, and
As my imagination serves to blend my sense of wholeness into
A mighty shield, all of me offers my long patient soul
Whatever time is still needed to release the weight of
Unshed tears, lightening my darkly shadowed self esteem to
Rise to its full height so as to reach so high as to lower
The ramp across the moat, freeing myself to advance, step by
Step, safely past the turbulent waters below my conscious
Awareness where naught but ghostlike bones, long since
Buried, will no longer arise from the grave to haunt
The nocturnal dreams of this woman, whose quest toward
Self-empowerment hopes to have quelled layers of
Inner conflict, which upon re-erupting during nightmares
See a strong spirited woman comforting
A sweet little girl, whose confusion, based in needs to be
Put peaceably to bed, at long last—
Ohhmm ...

So what, you might ask, does today’s post have to do with
My inviting your power of intuition to release your very own
Highly experiential answer to the brain teaser, above, that’s
Fated to float beyond our conscious awareness until a deeply
Buried truth arises, which feels so peaceably fully formed as
To flash before your eyes as clearly as I hope to grow
Aware of those times when the natural arousal of one of my
Defensive reactions is about to cook up a half  crocked
Candy-coated fairytale, baked into a mincemeat pie so as to
Block my processor from serving up the detailed version of
A specific childhood experience, which had originally felt
So overwhelmingly terrifying as to have exploded the dastardly
Nature of its mirror image into a wildly distorted
Kaleidoscopic version of the truth so as to distract
My determination to uncover deeper truth by stuffing
Every shard of yesteryear’s piercingly painful reality back into
A zippered pocket of my subconscious before
My conscious awareness feels capable of capturing
The raw state of terror, which, though deeply repressed within
A tightly coiled state of being, remains alive and
Kicking within an eggshell of readiness that feels so
Thin skinned as to threaten cracking open so as to
Expose the last (most personally devastating) layers of
Latent anxiety associated with fear churning with anger in need of
Leaping out of subconscious memories that proved so
Viciously penetrating as to inspire my adult spirit’s courageous
Connection to personal safety to arise and slay
The beast within thus saving myself from feeling as
Savagely assaulted as had proved true a long while back when
The fledgling self esteem of my youth was still far too
Vulnerable to believe me worthy of standing up for myself on
Solid grounds while verbally duking it out with any God-like
Authority figure whose offer of love and devotion had
Made up the central focus of a gullible tyke’s egocentric vision of
Being at fault for creating the turbulent distructuon of that
Which had been her extended family’s utterly peaceful
Little corner of the world—
Hmmm ..
As reality deems me a gullible tyke no more but rather
An insight driven, intuitive, strong spirited, well educated
Experienced, intelligent, open minded, compassionate, creativ
Deep thinking, sensitive adult, who remains as hopeful as ever that
Clarity is closing in on spotlighting a specific terrifying
Moment in time, which will offer my think tank
Sound reason to taste the just rewards that at e sure to sweeten
The end of my lengthy quest to set latent uprisings of
Yesteryear’s anxiety free to float out of my subconscious upon
Today’s newly enhanced perspective, which
Having been refortified by the intuitive existence of
A self-protective unpiercable bubble that clearly encapsulates
The fiery nature of a deeper truth, which (at an early stage of
Life had threatened to burn my connection to sanity to
A crisp) no longer condemns the matured state of
My think tank to solitary confinement if I so much as
Crack open the door, behind which my courageous
Adult connection to clarity had been steadily readying
My entire being to embrace a well earned sense of
Wholesome wholeness so as to free deeply tormented soul of
A tortured thunderstruck child from feeling need to
Hide forever from a series of unlawful experiences that
Had they been remembered and reported, would have
Guilted him, liberating her innocence forever of having been
Complicit in a sin, which had solely been owned by
An out of control adult, who having won her love, had
Abused her small person to feed the sick nature of
His sexual greed in ways that would most certainly
Have set off fire alarms had my defensive wall not blocked
My conscious awareness to my participation in acts so vile S to
Have inspired Mother Nature to mercifully wave
The magic wand of amnesia over my awareness, causing
My memory to swallow every one of those moments within
The dark side of my brain until several years ago, when
A microscopic glimmer of conscious readiness caught sight of
The merest flash of insight, which barely brightened the dark side of
My think tank enough to show my conscious awareness
A shadowy squint of a hint of that which lay beyond
My mental block once I’d felt intuitively safe from harm within
The soothingly peaceful, utterly non-judgment emotional
Environment of my  EMDR therapist’s office, where a deeply
Shamed, sweetly compliant, bright blue eyed, dark haired little girl
Began to feel enticed to take my hand as, together, she and ZK
Tiptoed ever so gingerly backward over a bed of
Red hot coals toward a deeply scary stage of her
Life’s existential adventure while both of us held fast to
The hand of a highly trained professional, whose
Unwavering patience inspired my wearied mind and spirit to
Believe in the depth of my intuition’s soulfully inspired
Kind=hearted intelligent quest to take as many Insight-driven
Baby steps as had proved necessary before
Each next leap of faith that has carried me forward toward
Penning today’s post offered my think tank one sound
Reason following another until I’d assembled so many
Strings of interrelated insights as to have come to
Relying upon my power of intuition to fathom
The depths of last night’s nightmare, which saw
My screams amid fits of anger thrashing around in
Such a loud manner as to have awakened Will, who’d
Been sleeping peacefully next to me until
My subconscious wanderings had alarmed
My husband of sudden need to awaken and
Comfort—not a deeply confounded, severely injured
Sweet little girl, crying like an abandoned kitten, left
Out in the cold but rather the unrepressed fury of
A strong spirited, soulfully courageous woman whom
I’ve conscientiously groomed my whole self to become—
(Though admittedly, more moments of Hmmm see
My processor hopping from here to there with the speed of
A hare like a hare, leaping from point A to point P and back to
B before leaping forward toward Q R S T—while
The Ohhmm-like tortoise, who dwells within
The naturally peaceful, intuitive portion of
My intelligence appears to be gaining on
The Hmmm=like hare, one insight at a time as though
A wise old owl has been guiding my storyteller to
Graciously, thus patiently, take a back seat so as to
Offer my soulful quest the freedom to heal
My body and spirit from tightly knotted deeply
Repressed layers of emotional pain though
My self propelled inner drive seems to
Glide forward as slowly as molasses until
We remember to consider my processor’s
Consciously determined, courageously steadfast
Emotionally readied—day by day, rebalanced pace—
Hmmm ...
PS
I have no clue how much of today’s rant makes sense
All I know for certain (before reviewing this post) is that
The intuitive portion of my brain felt a self empowered
Need to vent, so vent to my heart’s peaceful content, I did—
Ohhmmm ...

Hmmm ...
I’m feeling an insight bubbling forth—
Today’s rant may prove to be an intuitive prequel to
My subconscious storehouse of fury breaking loose ...

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES COMMUNES WITH YOUNGER THAN SPRINGTIME SPIRITS

As a natural bond connects the very young with
The very old, everyone in between would be wise to
Enhance their listening skills whenever
The innocence of the first and/or
The experience of the second speaks aloud
And if you think to ask why this magical bond tends to
Skip a generation, I’d reply:  Hmmm ... let’s free
The intuitive nature of today’s train of thought to
Coast into a rest station where the natural emergence of
Your intuition and/or mine is likely to stimulate
The subconscious portion of our processors to begin to
Percolate (as would a preprogrammed coffee maker) until
This specific brain teaser, given time to brew on its own
Awakens the conscious portion of our minds to catch
A fleeting glimpse of a flash of insight, which, serving to
Brighten our think tanks’ connection to awareness, will
Hopefully shine its spotlight upon a moment, long past, when
Your gramma or Grampa chose to soothe your heartsick reaction to
Words or actions that had proved so harshly over-reactive on
The part of your mom or dad as to have crushed the tender
Nature of a fledgling spirit until such time as your conscious
Awareness of the magic of your mind conjures up
The patience necessary to await your intuitive powers
Sense of readiness to direct the subconscious portion of
Your brain to unlock the specific door, behind which exists
A highly detailed version of every one of
Your childhood memories, each of which will await
A visit from an intuitive train of thought, which
Upon landing on its current mark will spotlight
Your very own, highly personal (yet classically)
Experiential answer to a today’s riddle —
Hmmm ...
PS
Today’s post is not meant to infer that
I’m very old—in fact, with tongue in cheek
Let’s say that having worked to develop
My innate power of intuition to spotlight
Flashes of insight (all of which lead from
One to the next) has brightened my processor’s
Conscious sense of awareness to make sound use of
Past experiences (whether they be happy, sad
Courageous or fearful) to ‘knowingly’guide
The conscious portion of my brain toward
Growing ever more self aware so as to sense when to
Sit my defense system’s natural connection to
Subconscious reactivity in a time out chair, thereby
Freeing my intelligence to enhance
My existential enjoyment of my heart’s desire in
Such a naturally nuanced, self disciplined manner as to
Inspire my soul’s peaceful connection to wholeness to
Enrich my processor with a sense of maturity beyond
My years, most especially at times when my well-developed
Power of intuition, feeling newly challenged to resolve
An anxiety-provoking dilemma by thinking out of the box, charges
The conscious portion of my mind to brainstorm toward achieving
A win/win, during the heat of conflict with a friend, lover or
Colleague by drawing forth (from deep within the inner sanctum of
My soul) an ever more peaceable blend of patience, creativity and
Clarity than proves true of my traditionally minded contemporaries —
Ohhmmm ...

TODAY, I CHOOSE TO BE A HUMAN BEING, HOW ‘BOUT YOU?

What does it mean to be a human being not a ‘human doing’?

Today’s brain teaser suggests my need to remind myself that
I don’t always have to ‘do’ something productive to feel
Like a worthwhile human being—in fact, sometimes, my decision
To do nothing other than relaxing my whole being is
The most productive decision of all, especially whenever re-energizing
My spirit’s natural sparkle has need of being plugged into downtime
For instance, yesterday saw me cavorting with Ravi from
12:30 until 6:30, and though I'd relished every minute spent playing and
Swimming. today my ‘little voice’ is guiding me to 'do' pretty much
Nothing other than smiling while mind, body and spirit naturally revitalize
Energy expended while keeping pace with a fully energized
Pint-sized tyke, who, in addition to deciding to be a cheetah for
The day, happens to be seventy-one years younger than me—LOL!
Ohhmmm ...

RAVI'S ADVENTURE BEYOND FAMILY TIME BEGAN YESTERDAY!

WOW!

At three and a half, I felt eager to leave home for my first day, ever, at preschool!

TADA!  Here I am in the school office with Wonder Woman lunch box in hand
(See Daddy signing me in?)

After giving Mommy and Daddy hugs and kisses, I ran off to play with the kids

While I'd clearly enjoyed my first solo adventure into this wide, wonderful world

                     Mommy, not quite ready for me to take flight, teared up all the way home

MY HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT PAYS OFF—BIGTIME!

So what do I know about myself now that I didn't know
Before my therapist gave me the homework assignment that
As it happens, presents itself in three steps?
Well—before offering you the answer to that riddle
Let's take a brief look at each of those steps, one at a time:

Step One
Whenever you feel more irritated than peaceful, stop to
Identify the exact feeling that's disrupting your sense of calm

Step Two
Notice how your body feels.
Where is the tension?
What is your body language 'telling' you?
How are you breathing?

Step Three
Now that you've named the feeling, let it emerge so you can feel it and
Breathe.  As you breathe into it, you will feel emotion 'move' through you

Now, having clearly expressed the simplicity of this three step plan of action, can you
Guess how performing this mental exercise, several times daily, will serve to
Create change for the better from irritability toward naturally regaining
Peace of mind in record time?

Today's post offers up two riddles for your consideration:
So what have I learned about myself that I didn't know
Before my therapist gave me the homework assignment that
As it happens, presents itself in three steps?

And

Can you guess how performing this mental exercise
Several times daily, serves to create change for the better from
Irritability toward regaining peace of mind in record time?

Hmmm ...
Perhaps you, too, would like to give this homework assignment a go
You see, after cluing my therapist into the fact that I'd been penning
A series of posts concerning my desire to consciously prolong
Spells of peace of mind, she wrote each step of this assignment on
A piece of paper, which was handed to me without so much as
A hint of insight as to how my natural reactions might benefit from
Actively engaging in this mindful exercise several times, every day, and
Knowing that I’ve gained that insight on my own, my think tank can be
Readily compared to that of a mathematician, charged with solving for X—

Ohhhmm ...

LET'S APPROACH MY HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT WITH PATIENCE AND THOROUGHNESS INTACT

Sooo—I often wonder why a post, which is not quite ready for penning, seems to
Hide just inside the inner sanctum of my brain while my intuitive powers, holding
The door slightly ajar, offers the conscious portion of my mind
A tantalizing peek at an insight-driven train of thought that's just beyond reach—
Hmmm ...

For instance, I’ve been feeling one particular train of thought acting like
A feather, tickling my self awareness with need to scratch beneath the surface of
The conscious portion of my mind so as to reveal a mental pattern that had
Worked well in the past, which, as of recent years, proves in need of tweaking—
Hmmm ...

The train of thought in question has to do with last week’s
Homework assignment given to me by my EMDR therapist, who
Has never before felt need to assign homework to the active nature of
My quick-to-gain insight-so as-to-create-change-for-the-better brain—
Hmmm ...

Those of you who have been following my blog for a while know that
I'll not hurry a half baked soufflé out of the oven any more than
A caterpillar can hurry Mother Nature's step-by-step process of
Transformation, which readies its gossamer wings to fly free of its cocoon—
Hmmm ...

Who knew that upon awakening, today, my power of intuition would readily guide
The conscious portion of my mind’s eye to focus upon my computer screen while
My fingers, dancing all over the keyboard, nimbly assembled specific words so
Naturally as to compose today's train of thought?  Not me—that's for sure!
Hmmm ...

On the other hand—My power of intuition is presently offering me
A tantalizing taste of readiness ripening concerning my eagerness to
Pen a post describing benefits reaped by taking the timely
Homework assignment, assigned by my therapist, seriously, because
While conscientiously following my therapist's guidance, I came to
See which of my thought processes proved in need of retraining, and
Once this bite sized portion of knowledge flashed through
My conscious mind, an illusive insight, spotlighting the reason why
I was given this homework assignment, clarified for me in 3D—
And as soon as intuitive readiness to pen that train of thought speaks to
Me, you, too shall see why the homework, itself, proved easy to do while
The insight, which is now mine, came as a mind-bending surprise until
My intuitive powers saw fit to remind my intelligence that
I don’t know myself as deeply as I think—most especially when referencing
An emotion that I’ve been unaware of repressing—in fact, time and again
I find myself in need of mustering patience until a half baked, insight-driven
Train of thought, which is not quite ready to fly free from within
The inner sanctum of my think tank's cocoon, emerges with clarity intact—
Hmmm ...

PS
If you'd like to hear more about last week's homework assignment, which
Has sensitized my processor with need to empower itself by tweaking
An attitudinal change for the better, let's fluff up our patience, knowing that
Coffee, which has been ground before beans have been richly roasted tastes weak
And as with coffee, I find it necessary to percolate change for the better until
A train of thought tastes so richly robust as to readily pour itself into a post, and
As treasured friends are about to whisk Will and yours truly off to the ball park
My time, penning the robust nature of today’s enriching train of thought, is spent—
Ohhmmm ...

THOUGH THE AGING PROCESS JUST KEEPS ROLLING ALONG ...

Perhaps the key to aging gracefully suggests our collective need to
Kindly inspire each other to seek to unlock
The inner sanctum of our minds so as to ease
The way for unique individuals to gain access to insight concerning
Human nature’s universal need to embrace changes, which
Though classic in nature, we’d not choose for ourselves ...
For instance, perhaps, upon nearing the mid-mark of
Our seventh decade of life, common sense suggests that
We absorb personal need to experience the relaxing nature of
‘A gone fishing day’ in direct proportion to the number of
Consecutive days that mind and body signal need of
Recharging from time spent enjoying any pleasure (or
Deflecting any fear or pain) that retrospectively proves
Overly stimulating so as to keep this reality in mind:
Whereas children bounce back overnight, adults may awaken feeling as if
We're nursing a hang-over after partying too heartily with small fry, and
As that reaction exacerbates with age, common sense suggests formulating
A go-to plan of action to tame our impatience with the evolutionary
Inevitability of where our aging process is heading—for example
Here is mine:  First, I consciously acknowledge my frustration so as to
Release (rather than repress) my attitude of emotional negativity in
Time out, and once my rebalanced good-natured spirit has been
Restored, I return to loved ones with the intention of
‘Fessing' up to the fact that deeper truth, which will not be
Denied, over long, has begun to shine its intuitive spotlight upon
This reality:  I have advanced to the age of natural irritability, which
Can be disruptive unless my intelligence takes note of mind, body or
Both signaling my need of down time to relax and recoup
Energy spent, and thus does self awareness (concerning my
Having embraced all aspects of second childhood) offer
My strength of spirit reason to voice (release) pent up
Frustration in such a positively focused, self disciplined manner as to
Inspire my adult offspring to follow in my footsteps when
Father Time, marching on, deems it their turn to choose to
Model aging graciously for their kids as has been true of me with mine ...

Speaking personally, aging gracefully is far from easy
Why?  Because we must do more than recite false platitudes on
Center stage while admiring fans, sitting first row center, lap up
Our persona's well practiced, socially accepted, acting chops (which
Masks the depths of your inner conflict and mine concerning
The aging process, fooling none as completely as is true of ourselves—in fact
Aging gracefully from the inside out means choosing to be as
Kind to yourself each time you peer into your mirror as you are while
Responding lovingly to the laments of a treasured friend, whose
Natural knee jerk reaction of frustration is bound to erupt each time
A reality check spotlights yet another maddening aspect of
The aging process, which just keeps rolling along ... and now
Having reached this point in today's insight-driven intuitive train of thought
It’s likely that your processor might think to ask:
So what do you do when your mirror declares that
Yet another sign of youth has slipped beyond your grasp so as not to
Beat your chest while railing away (in time out, of course) at fate?
In answer to your question:  I consciously choose to switch
Mental tracks from dwelling on loss toward spotlighting some
Positive aspect of my existential being, which still proves
Very much intact—for instance, my glance may shift away from
Facial changes toward the small circumference of my waist, or if
I feel too weary to walk to a nearby park with my family
I may consider my love of reading or smile at the natural
Re-emergence of my spirit’s corny sense of humor or (taking
Today’s post into consideration), I may set my sights upon penning
A train of thought that proves significantly more enriching in
Terms of insight than ditties penned earlier in the week, highlighting
The fact that my bone wearied mental state has, once again, benefited from
Days spent floating down a lazy river, where calm waters ‘neath
A sunlit bright blue sky serves to refresh my mind ... and if a clear shot of
Reality suggests that the calming nature of the river is actually
A royal blue tiled, heated backyard spa, which invites body and mind to
Submerge within a relaxed state of bubbly contentment then
Thank goodness my positively focused imaginative powers prove as
Naturally resilient as is true of my spirit's daffy sense of humor—
Ohhmmm

PS

Hmmm—another insight just flashed through my mind—not for the first time

In fact, the first time I shared it aloud was when my mom's spoken thoughts

Were engaged in putting her (aging) self down, at which time

I heard myself say:  Though everyone has a turn at being young

Only the lucky have a turn at growing old, and

Of those who are so fortunate as to grow old

Only those who choose to grow ever more self aware

Become more wisely gracious, less grumpily wizened while

A younger-than-springtime smile continues to

Dance harmoniously with Father Time

(So—okay—maybe my spoken words were less melodic than

Today's intuitive train of thought proves to be; however

My compassionate tone of voice and loving smile helped to

Clarify that insight for Mom, who returned my smile while replying:

I wish I could think the same way you do, Annie—to which

I replied:  My thinking patterns didn't 'just happen', Mom.

I've chosen to grow ever more practiced at switching off

A naturally negative attitude, most especially when

The subject is aging, in favor of embracing

A positively focused attitude that lifts my spirit by

Making certain that I don't wear a frown from putting myself down

That conversation took place at least ten years ago, and just as

My spirit feels tickled and delighted by everything that

Ravi's sense of wonderment picks up and absorbs so naturally

Day by day, I charge myself with fending off feeling

Dismayed by whatever I'd once so easily achieved that proves

Beyond my present ability to enjoy, and with that plan

In mind, I hear the positively focused side of my nature say:

"Ravi, Grandma can't crawl along the floor on all fours while

We're playing Lion King, so let's make good use of your

Magic wand (of which we have several, one of which

Lights up while magical sounds tinkle through the air) so that

While you're being Simba, we can imagine Nala rising up to

Adventure through the Pridelands on her hind paws, and with

A giggle, my grand daughter runs toward the toy box where her

Favorite magic wand awaits her every command while

My playful smile widens at having wriggled both our minds away from

That which Grandma Annie can no longer do, and

In this creative way does my think tank inspire

My child-like spirit to play harmoniously with

A three-year old's belief in our ability to achieve the impossible dream

Yesterday, upon picking up Ravi for a playdate, I asked if

She'd like to stop for ice cream before going to Gramma's house to play

Much to my surprise, Ravi replied.  No Gramma.  Let's go to

Your house, right now.  But Ravi, I countered, you love ice cream!

I want to play with you, Gramma.  We can have popsicles for a snack.

(Sugar free, fruit juice popsicles in keeping with Mommy's boundaries

Concerning 'in-house' snacks, of course!)

 

DANCING TO A DIFFERENT TUNE

Though brimming with fun and laughter
Our weekend proved packed with so many
Activities for small fry to enjoy as to have
Changed my tune from younger than springtime to
Ol’ man river—she just keeps rolling alongggg
(Good thing that while my body recharges by
Plugging into down time, my spirit’s resilience remains
So strong as to inspire my addled mental state to
Tickle my smile by penning mindless dittys
Posted with tongue in cheek!)
LOL!😄