I’ve yet to write 1978 HEAD ON COLLISION Part 2, because an unexpected drama arose while I was on the coast, catalyzing need to refocus my think tank away from fun toward brainstorming with family until our team spirit came up with a workable solution, which emerged from our sense of logic in hopes of nipping this emotion based drama (born of a passive-aggressive power struggle) in the bud.
In short, our family had to come up with a plan to ensure that an emotionally immature control freak would not misuse an innocent child as a pawn in order to frustrate Marie’s maternal instinct so as to arouse her defense system to engage in a power struggle by feeling need to strike back reactively rather than aiming her think tank toward need to develop a line of emotional self control that will guide her to consciously withdraw her thought processor from the field of battle in favor of refocusing her smarts away from engaging in a mental wrestling match with a bully who, time and again, proves too bullish to keep his children’s best interests in the forefront of his mind much less his heart.
As this scenario played out before me, this week, it became clear that Ray’s mother’s heartfelt awareness had need to recenter her sights toward reacting wisely in order to calm the added frustration born of the court’s blindness to the damaging effects on a child’s psyche when one parent’s bullying attitude is dismissed, over long.
For the child's sake, at least one parent is charged with identifying the subtle nature of passive-aggressive power struggles so as to stop participating unwittingly in a tug of war so as to free the child’s dizzied mind from feeling forced to assume the role of monkey in the middle of a tightrope, doing his level-headed best to stay clear of falling into a battlefield where no one wins, everyone loses, because the key to regaining a balanced sense of clarity has not yet been grounded in either home.
In order to choose mental clarity over emotional chaos, one parent must consciously loosen his/her grip on the rope, which tugging at heartstrings, will otherwise wrap itself ever more tightly around the smarts of everyone within both households where decisions made between a rock and a hard place get to feeling so crushed within a vice as to muddle the clarity of the monkey in the middle too much to excel in school. Why? Well, if a child’s personal choices continue to crash into solid walls of parental domination that make no sense, the child’s psyche grows ever more confounded, angered or depressed .
Once young minds react like gerbils spinning on wheels in cages, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year—the only lives that are personally enriched by custody battles that rage, on and in, prove to be two adversarial divorce attorneys, both of whom charge by the hour.
As long as the scenario above holds true, no key to resolving the child’s sad dilemma will be found. Why not? Because gerbils' brains do not house higher thinking powers, leaving everyone on both sides feeling so defeated as to long for the answer to this riddle: Who holds the key to outsmarting the bullish mind of the most emotionally crippled parent so as to free a bright child's thought processor from growing up to be yet another caged gerbil, running in circles on a wheel getting no place better, fast?
Thinking caps on straight? Good. Because here comes the answer to the riddle (which is found in parenting texts that reference how best to detour a power struggle from overwhelming logical solution-seeking skills): One parent must hold his/her thought processor accountable for dislodging a loose brick within his/her defensive wall of denial, because walls of denial, which exist within every human brain, has a loose brick. And behind each loose brick is found the key that unlocks the portion of the mind, which naturally releases our think tanks’ intuitive problem-solving powers.
Charging oneself with finding the key to unlocking intuitive thought processes, which guide us toward consciously taking a time out on the spot to calm down heightening levels of frustration serves to empower our brains’ connection to logic before emotion overwhelms clarity of thought.
While raising my sons, I chose to train my conscious awareness to recognize physical signals that suggest my need to consciously call forth my line of self control to direct my defense system to sit in timeout so as to free my processor to think smart so as to re-center a positively focused attitudinal change within myself. Why?
Because the only person I can change for the better is me. And thus do I hold myself accountable for role modeling the high degree of self disciplined emotional control that I am teaching my kids to emulate. (What would you think of a teacher who disciplined her class by yelling at the kids while spewing words that insulted their intelligence and crushed their fledgling self esteem?)
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As deeper truth suggests that one positive change leads to another—eventually—negative cycles reverse for everyone involved. And here is the beauty of the plan of action described above: No one has need to understand how negative cycles reverse except for the person who has consciously assumed the role of positively focused leader. (This plan is yet another example of deeper truth talking through the clearly intuitive portion of my mind.)
As it's necessary for a positively focused leader to comprehend how that miracle of change is accomplished, little by little, he or she will hold the key to becoming the change we wish for the world.
He or she who works to become the change we wish for the world guides our children to walk into the promised land holding hands with adults who no longer feel need to feed subconscious (passive aggressive) tendencies to fist up around hot wired grenades that blow love up into emotionally fractured particles, strewn all over kingdom come, until all that's left of the peaceful life that—coulda-shoulda been—is ashes, darkening the bright light of everyone's spirit, young and old.
In short, it's not enough to yearn to relax our tightly wired state of hyper vigilance in order to freely embrace an emotionally safe, angle of heartfelt repose. Leadership must work conscientiously at creating attitude changes born of common sense, at home.
As no one's darkened mindset will lighten up until tug of war for the child's love is a thing of the past, leadership must remember to continue to remove his/her blindfold, so as to see that loosened brick within one's own wall of denial behind which awaits the key to unlocking the cage that exists within every human brain in which gerbils, devoid of brainstorming skills, continue to power struggle so subtly as to get no where that feels better, all around.
Once clarity concerning the subtle nature of your power struggling brain has been gained, self awareness will heighten, freeing intuitive thought processes to begin to emerge.
As intuitive powers guide us to drop the rope so as to relax tightly wired, reactive mine fields that usurp control over our think tanks, a child’s on-going need for emotional safety, which had seemed non-existent, may be won in one household, saving a sweet child’s openly loving nature from feeling so angrily or sadly confused as to go underground
Hopefully, having read today's post, you can see why this week's head on collision redirected my mind from story telling toward brainstorming in hopes of inspiring one household to clue into the fact that inflammatory interactions on both sides serve to catalyze sad changes in personality development, which worsen for children and adults, over time ...
Not on my watch—no siree!
One morning, I had coffee with my dear friend, Katie, (one of my disciples, who'd moved to California to be wed, and years later was divorced from the father of her two sons). Once Katie listened to my sadness, she reminded me to consciously re-center my processor, and as my heart and mind conjoined; inner conflict between emotion and logic lessened, relaxing the tension I'd felt, opening my mind to challenge my frustration to land peaceably on the planet of Create Change For The Better by fully embracing an attitude based in love rather than engaging unwittingly in war behind my wall of denial.
In short, I consciously chose to reset my course of action so as to calm my inner conflict in favor of wholly reacting to oppositional bullying tactics if not with love than with neutrality, which, with patience and perseverance, proves stronger than any form of kryptonite known to weaken Superman.
And thus do we come to see that just as kryptonite weakened Superman's powerful physicality, the subtle nature of emotional power struggles weakens humanity's mental hold on logic-based, intuitive powers no matter how self aware our processors become, suggesting the primary reason why need to open one's mind to embrace yet another personal growth spurt, no matter our age, never ends.
At this moment in time, I am, once again, wholly mindful of refusing to refuel a head on collision between opposing attitudes of emotional anger and logical clarity, which had re-ignited a war-like state of inner conflict inside the subconscious portion of MY brain, thus heightening my sense of inner tension, which weakened my processor's natural connection to intuitive strengths— non-productively.
Closed mindedness? On my watch? No siree!
And thus with a little help from my friend
My attitude changed for the better toward
Making love not war!
I've learned that once my disciples 'get it', leadership, captaining the fleet, cycles round, resulting in no one's ship slipping ever more darkly, thus blindly, toward an immovable iceberg, otherwise known as one's own solid wall of denial ...
If deeper truth suggests that everyone hath a wall of denial and every wall of denial hath a loose brick, then holding oneself accountable for retrieving the key to re-centering attitudes in one home will eventually save a sweet child from playing monkey in the middle, over long.
Geez—some posts are not easy to pen with clarity intact!
Suggesting why I've felt need to revise this one in hopes of clarifying calming insights—for myself—which proves necessary whenever my emotional reactiveness feels sound reason to get riled up ...
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