1371 WITH THE APPROACH OF OUR PASSOVER SEDER AND FEAST

This week sees me gearing up, readying everything in anticipation of creating a delicious as well as joyous Passover service, feast and weekend for family and friends.  With all of our kids flying in this Thursday and Friday for our Seder, my head, buzzing like a bee, feels as busy, organizing this deeply meaningful (and rollicking) weekend, as my heart, being eager to embrace three generations of our most treasured loved ones at our Passover table, feels enriched, while I, accomplishing tasks, day by day, go about humming songs about jumping frogs while retrieving beautiful, Israeli serving pieces, necessary for creating a traditional Seder table, from a cabinet in our dining room buffet along with serving pieces, created by my sons' small hands, during preschool, and finally, a stack of Haggadahs, written to engage each child's wondrous sense of participation in this ancient chapter of the valiant history of the Jewish people (which remains a timely story to tell, most especially because desperate souls, throughout the world, remain sadly enslaved by despots with little respect for humanity) will be placed within reach of each person's dinner plate.

As for Ravi, a tarp will slide under her high chair, as this will be our precious grand daughter's very first Seder, since, last year, she, being four months old, slept peacefully next to the table in the pram (which had once held her daddy and uncles), saved through the years, because Ravi's gramma, who works at remodeling her think tank, also knows that memories of my traditional roots run as deep as my corny sense of humor can be counted on to pop out at the slightest provocation...

As far as attending first Seders go, the same will prove true of Marie, Tony, Ray, Brant and Celina's Uncle Roy, though we've not thought to place a tarp under each of their chairs.  On the other hand, with tongue in cheek, I have been kidding Brant, long distance, telling him not to worry about being the youngest reader at this year's service.  All he has to do is recite the four questions.  In Hebrew!  LOL!

English	Transliteration	Hebrew
The four questions ask why this night is different from all the other nights:	Mah nishtanah, ha-laylah ha-zeh, mi-kol ha-leylot	מַה נִּשְׁתַּנָּה, הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה מִכָּל הַלֵּילוֹת
Why on all other nights do we eat oth chametz and matzah, on this night, we eat only matzah	She-b'khol ha-leylot 'anu 'okhlin chameytz u-matzah, ha-laylah ha-zeh, kulo matzah	שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין חָמֵץ וּמַצָּה הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה, כֻּלּוֹ מַצָּה
Why on all other nights do we eat many vegetables, on this night, only maror	She-b'khol ha-leylot 'anu 'okhlin sh'ar y'rakot, ha-laylah ha-zeh, kulo maror	שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין שְׁאָר יְרָקוֹת הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה, כֻּלּוֹ מָרוֹר
Why on all other nights we do not dip vegetables even once, on this night, we dip twice	She-b'khol ha-leylot 'eyn 'anu matbilin 'afilu pa`am 'achat, ha-laylah ha-zeh, shtey f`amim	שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אֵין אָנוּ מַטְבִּילִין אֲפִילוּ פַּעַם אֶחָת הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה, שְׁתֵּי פְעָמִים
Why on all other nights some eat sitting and others reclining, on this night, we are all reclining	She-b'khol ha-leylot 'anu 'okhlin beyn yoshvin u-veyn m'subin, ha-laylah ha-zeh, kulanu m'subin	שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין בֵּין יוֹשְׁבִין וּבֵין מְסֻבִּין הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה, כֻּלָּנוּ מְסֻבִּין

At this late stage of my life, it's a given that I'll need to gift myself a grace period of pure relaxation in the afterglow of this weekend's festivities, and hopefully, throughout each high spirited event devoted to familial love and lasting friendships, little will detour my spirit from floating on cloud nine while reminiscing over four memorable days in which we plan to feast on freedoms, hard won, long ago, while imbibing upon today's spirit of togetherness, beginning as soon as the first plane lands safely on Thursday till the last plane takes off on Monday, at which time my intelligence will no doubt direct the sum of my parts, most especially my body, to land on my bed😄

"Aging is this weird thing that happens.  Even if your brain stays very young, your body just keeps on going."  Says Sally Fields.

Going where?  Ultimately, we'll each reach that final resting place, where the great unknown awaits us all, so unless Vasco de Gamma pays me an unexpected visit with map in hand, outlining the direct route to the fountain of youth, I plan to do everything in my power to enjoy a fully re-energized, high spirited, healthy, well-rounded life for as long as is humanly possible, and with that positively focused thought in mind, my plan is to do little more than relax, recoup and refuel for as long as necessary after my family flies home.

Along with our immediate family, which, counting David's 'little brother' (over these past six years), seventeen year old Brant, we'll celebrate with my niece and nephew, Celina's mom and uncle and several dear friends, suggesting that our holiday feast will draw twenty loved ones round our festive table, where we'll sing songs of leaping frogs and slaves banging hammers in harmonic commemoration  of Moses' leadership, inspiring 'the people of the book' (the Torah) to free their minds and unshackle their bodies from slavery as they wander, over the next forty years, through the hard scrabble of desert wastelands where leadership found it necessary to guide this host of human vulnerabilities toward developing inner strengths by focusing their trains of thoughts on the promised land, which, though beyond their present reach, inspired each adult mind to envision change for the better taking place, little by little, as their children's future continued to unfold ... Wow!  Forty years of wandering in the absence of clarity!  Talk about leadership and flock mustering tolerance and patience as human vulnerability transformed into the formidable strengths, seen in Israelis—today!

Reminds me of my favorite Jewish joke:
How can every Jewish holiday be described?
They tried to kill us
We won
Let's eat!

Though Seders, during my childhood, offered solemn experiences to all ages, lasting for hours, I see prepping for our Seder and serving the feast to follow as a labor of love, suggesting that thoughts of creating this festive weekend of family togetherness offer my mind a well-balanced view of the days ahead, which explains why my spirit feels reason to sing of good fortune, smiling down upon us, all, and though my experiential intelligence entertains no fantasy of my being able to maintain a fully stoked energy level while rejoicing with loved ones of all ages and from differing cultures, I continue to feel eager to call our home the hub of the family wheel.  You see, rather than creating an emotional atmosphere of solemnity, our celebration of freedoms, won both then and now, rocks with heartfelt joy as unique individuals come together to sing, aloud, as one. 

As there's brisket and potatoes waiting to roast, matzoh balls hoping to float in savory chicken broth, hard boiled eggs swimming through salty tears, gefilte fish in need of doctoring, charoset to prepare, a festive table to set, orchids to purchase (need I go on?), hopefully, while I'm re-vitalizing in the aftermath, all of you will feel my heart reaching across the miles to hug you close, and if you, too, plan to celebrate this holiday, I wish you a healthy, happy Pesach with your loved ones, both near and far—and jumping frogs, galore.

PS
During these past few days, an intuitive train of thought has been penning a post, concerning a transitional mind shift that my sixth sense has felt taking place, deep inside, over these past few weeks.  This unpublished post remains in drafts, because the sum of my parts has been so immersed in organizing this coming weekend that wrapping my sense of clarity around the main insight, toward which intuitive thought has been tunneling, is not yet mine to understand, and thus, this unfinished post will remain in drafts until my mind feels so wholly relaxed and refreshed as to assure myself that clarity, conveying a change for the better, percolating within my mind, is mine.

1370 A GLIMPSE INTO MY CURRENT STORYTELLING DILEMMA

Damn!
I really want to tell you a story
Any story
I wish I knew what's been blocking
My mind from story telling for such a long time
I wonder when my conscious mind will go from stymied to
 Feeling an eager sense of readiness surging forth from
The same place where story telling trains of thought are
Surely tunneling through an emotional maze so complex
Inside my brain that confusion runs too deep for clarity to surface
In fact, if the truth be told, I've been feeling vulnerable, over
These past couple of days, or, more to the point
Sadness emerges when I'm alone with certain thoughts
Concerning my inability to create a specific
Change for the better that remains beyond my control, and

As much as enjoying time with Ravi lifts my spirit, each time
Steven has carried her home, unshed tears threaten to

Overflow my defense system's wall of denial, and that
Awareness suggests my conscious mind has just gained
Insight into this fact:  My wall of denial has a crack, and though

I wish freeing those tears could wash unidentified feelings of
Vulnerability away, my defense system says:  No way, Annie!
You know that's not how it works!  Though releasing tears of
Sadness may offer coils of inner tension a sense of temporary relief

Deeper truth suggests that your think tank must accomplish

Each step of the work that's required before readiness reveals
Why denial sees fit to block the primary cause of your sadness to

Feel locked out of conscious awareness ... On an up note ...
Today's post suggests that intuitive thought must be
Filtering through that crack in the wall, because
I'm becoming aware of my strength of courage signaling
My subconscious of readiness to reveal
An emotional reaction, which has proved too painful to
Penetrate conscious awareness, suggesting this to be
One of those times when my defense system (rather than
Over reacting) has been partnering up with common sense until

Flashes of insight illuminate the hidden reason that's
Causing my spirit's slippery slide, and
With today's positively focused train of thought sparking a
String of insights, brightening my conscious mind, I feel
Confident of my ability to keep my spirit afloat during
This perplexing period of transition by reminding myself that
A mind shift is taking place, and thus, while moving from
Confusion to clarity, I'll imagine the ease with which
The sad weight on my spirit will lift as
Strings of emergent insight continue to highlight
Gimpses into the source of this puzzlement, which
Remains hidden within a subconscious pocket of fear, blocking
My sense of readiness from confronting a painful truth that
My conscious mind has longed to believe as not true, suggesting
Need to work to free certain memories, which remain locked within

A Puzzle Room inside my head ... And though I already own all of
The pieces of this puzzle, my present state of vulnerability will not
Free intuition to put two intelligent thoughts together, which will
Get a story off to a good start until I accept the fact that
Mental tension, born of frustration, narrows my brain's pathways, so
The only intelligent course of action open to me, right now, is to
Accept this fact:  The lengthy nature of this mental block
Exists for sound reason, and while awaiting insight to
Spotlight the main source of this curious stall
It's up to my think tank to muster even more patience by
Strengthening my faith in this belief:
At this very moment in time, my independent sense of
Intuitive thought is searching for a dark pocket, hidden deeply within
My gray-matter, and once highlights of this dark spot are sighted
I can depend on courage to penetrate my wall of denial in order to
Expand pathways where insight driven trains of thoughts will
Carry my conscious awareness closer to the light at
The end of the tunnel, where clarity waits to
Flash so brightly within my mind's eye that
The name of the vulnerability, which has been holding
My story telling ability hostage, over long, will
Headline a post that will appear first on my screen and then on yours
And knowing that pathways, clogged by today's state of mental confusion
Will, one day, open, naturally, we can feel assured that memories
Will begin to flow forth so freely as to offer you stories, worthy of
Your time and consideration, concerning yesteryear's
Intuitive creation of solution-seeking plans that produced
Change for the better each time my intelligence felt need to
Partner up with insight and positive focus in order to stop
A negative attitude from usurping control over my think tank, whenever
I had to figure out how to stay a step ahead of
A trilogy of young think tanks, which had naturally attempted to
Bamboozle the voice of authority (that would be me), every
Day of the week—year after year—because, no matter our age—
Every human brain is programmed to rebel against
Feeling controlled by any mind other than our own, and now that
Today's natural flow of intuitive thought has reminded
My conscious awareness of the importance of
Positive focus coupling up with patience, most especially
When an inexplicable sense of personal vulnerability is weighing
Heavily upon my spirit, I can feel this post (and my frustration)
Easing into today's rest station, which proves timely for this reason:
Today is Thursday, suggesting my mind filling with thoughts of
Picking up Ravi, lifting my spirit to float more buoyantly as
My sensitivity to savoring this love that she and I share feels
Every bit as pure and simple as is this sweet natured child's sense of
Joyful wonderment concerning her every day adventure into
Heartfelt discovery ... and thus does time spent with Ravi speak of
My soul's need to thrive in a world where most others strive to survive ...
PS
This post was written, yesterday, but left in an unfinished state, because
Once Ravi's joyful spirit is in my arms
Enjoying her natural state of wonderment trumps writing, every time ...

1369 WHO'S ON FIRST? VS WHAT COMES FIRST?

Whereas who's on first is a funny joke
What comes first is no laughing matter, which
You shall see as today's train of intuitive thought
Tracks the answer to this question:  What comes first—
The current state of your spirit or an attitude that creates a mindset?
Hint:  The answer to today's question considers
A darkened view in need of lightening up by way of
Shining a mind-brightening spotlight of insight on your
Awareness of the way that resignation (concerning
A disheartened decision to abandon an existential unmet need)
Sap your life force of energy, Suggesting why
A heightened sense of self-awareness inspires
Your think tank and mine to accept the role of
Master architect over the rest of our lives as our
Thought processors come to understand how the current state of
A person's spirit reacts like the needle on a gauge, pointing to
Your brain's need to readjust a negatively focused mindset, which
Upon remodeling to state of the art, refuels our brain's ability to
Create change for the better by breaking down walls of denial
(Behind which hides regret), thus freeing
The  independent nature of intuitive thought to offer
Your present state of conscious awareness sound reason to
Identify and repair the crack in your foundation of self esteem so that
Self-defeating patterns of thought (which created deeply rooted
Behavioral patterns of blind obedience or rebellion, during childhood)
Will not remain stuck in a rut where a closed mind set continues to
Spin your wheels until intuitive intelligence gains insight into
The importance of brainstorming toward specifying which
Negatively focused attitude is key to unlocking the box in which
The disheartened state of the human spirit has too little space for
Its wing span to expand so fully as to free our souls to experience
The natural high that soaring toward thriving provides to one and all ... WHEW!
BTW:  A disheartened spirit need not feel completely depressed ...
A disheartened spirit can simply feel too compressed and flattened by
Conventional thought to soar as high as had proved possible before
A closed mindset, based in fear, guilt or both, blocked
Intuitive thought from making its way through the tunnel of darkness by
Clearing a path toward the emergent string of insights, which, highlighting
The benefits of thinking out of the box, encourages my spirit not to give up on
A heartfelt goal that remains beyond my control, and in this way does
My thought processor muster the patience to relax mental tension in hopes of
Tapping into my sixth sense until my spirit feels so buoyed with renewed hope as to
Switch tracks from negative focus toward taking another leap of faith toward
The possibility that change for the better may feel eager to accept
My invitation to dance around the next bend, and with that said
You can see why the good health of my life force relies upon
Intuitive thoughts tunneling toward each next bright flash of insight, which
May be only a day away, suggesting why my strength of spirit has
Seen fit to develop a determined sixth sense of its own!
I mean, seriously—why accept Mother Nature's gifts of
Strength of spirit, positively focused creativity and intuitive brainstorming
If we fail to partner up that trinity with a peaceful sense of patience
Specifically at those times when awareness suggests that
Tension-filled thoughts might otherwise squeeze the sugar out of
The lemonade, which had once tasted as sweet as the nectar of the gods ...

And thus do I ask, yet again:  What comes first?
The current state of your spirit or an attitude that creates
A mindset and behavioral pattern in need of reconsideration?

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

~John Quinton~

1368 MY SPIRIT HAS DEVELOPED A DETERMINED MIND OF ITS OWN!

If you surmise that my spirit is always focused on the positive
I'll respectfully suggest that you have another think coming
Though my sense of positive focus proves strong while
Working toward a heartfelt goal that feels thwarted, over long
My spirit can get to feeling as emotionally disheartened as
Anyone else's when fearful thoughts or sad memories come to mind
And it's at those times that I stand at the proverbial
Fork in the road, facing this choice:
Choose the road where my defense system decides to give up or
Consciously call upon my well practiced sense of intuitive
Determination to muster the courageous attitude that directs
My conscious mind to stand patiently at the crossroad, awaiting
The emergence of insights, which re-energize my
Positively focused mindset to forge up hill so that
My defense system cannot bind my spirit to a downhill slide on
The slippery slope where, upon hitting bottom, resignation feels like
A boulder-sized weight too heavy for my heart to bear each time
My decision to turn away from the road less taken comes to mind
And thus do you watch my intuitive intelligence partner up with
Strength of spirit, time and again, as common sense, brightened by insight
Calls forth my strong sense of determination to re-fuel
The courageous attitude necessary to fortify a positively focused
Mindset to continue to call upon creativity to design
A uniquely existential path, which will be mine till
I exhale my last breath ... In short ... insight into resignation, concerning
Abandoning existential unmet needs, inspires my think tank to be
The master architect upon whom my spirit depends to remodel
Character traits, which will update my life, no matter my age, to
State of the art ...

1367 TODAY'S QUESTION CONCERNS DETERMINATION

Is determination to succeed a trait innate to mankind?

When encouraged by a positively focused coach, we witness
Determination hammering successfully to win over
Frustration, as seen in this video, worth watching from
Beginning to end, as a sixteen month old child
Makes good use of intuitive thought to create
A patient sense of change for the better, because at every age
Accomplishing challenging goals takes time, creativity and
With a little help from our friends, smiles result, all around

1366 A QUIET MORNING OF PEACEFUL REPOSE WAS NOT IN THE CARDS FOR ME ...

Upon arising, today, I found that Post 1365 was in need of brainstorming before my intelligence could make heads or tails of insights that rode out of my depths on yesterday's intuitive trains of thought, which, though making a valiant effort to convey clarity to my conscious awareness, offered up a mind maze that I chose to puzzle my way through, this morning, until my determined need for clarity offered up this hard won reward:  My spirit is smiling.  And if you ask why?  With tongue in cheek, I'll reply:  Success offered my think tank Sound reason to relax in a place of peaceful repose, suggesting that yesterday's rest station was merely a mirage, whereas, at this moment in time, a mind at rest is most defitely mine (LOL!)

I guess you might say that at the end of yesterday's train of thought, I mistook the release of insights for repose, since release and repose offer mental tension reason to feel relieved ...

1365 A TRILOGY: SPIRITUALITY, INSIGHT AND PEACE OF MIND CREATING CLARITY

Seems to me that many misperceive of 'spirituality' as pertaining to some prescribed religious sense of dogma, dictating that a righteous sense of goodness exists within the narrow framework of a specific belief, when deeper truth suggests that strength of spirit, necessary for character development, relies upon independent trains of thought, brainstorming toward lasting change for the better by considering how best to satisfy basic needs (such as breathing freely, eating and drinking in moderation, moving, resting and procreating) in such well balanced ways as prove essential if mankind hopes to enjoy such good health as to thrive throughout each stage of life.

As history suggests that social and religious constraints continue to place guilt-ridden restraints upon our innate (natural) desire to satisfy six basic needs, I'd like to name a seventh need, basic to improving the emotional health of the human spirit:  The human spirit has need to break free of social and religious restraints that stuff our brains full of baggage, which a person's soulful sense of individuality needs to unload in order to make room for conscious awareness to grow so insightfully well balanced as to muster the courage and patience necessary to determine which course of action will best relax physical and emotional tension (based in unidentified guilt), which coils so tightly around our brains' ability to think clearly that self empowering knowledge, concerning each person's intellectual awareness of mankind's universal need to thrive as unique individuals, can't imprint so deeply into our gray matter as to brighten our think tanks with this insight:  Peace of mind depends upon accepting oneself not as we have been taught to be but as uniquely differentiated individuals, which is why intuitive thought inspires your intelligence and mine to develop the discretionary agility to sense when readiness to satisfy a highly personal, unmet need proves more productive than continuing to ponder, quietly, about an inner conflict that resists resolution until an individual's growing sense of mind expansion has developed the mental acuity that offers a clarified view of emotional complexity, which defensive reactiveness had blinded our intelligence from understanding at an earlier time when guilt-ridden trains of thought had flooded your think tank or mine with so much adrenalin as to have made brainstorming toward change for the better seem impossible. Whew!

Speaking personally, it takes a whale of soul searching, on my own, before a deeply ingrained mindset expands to comfortably embrace a decision, which had seemingly contradicted a principle that had guided my life until a mind blowing experience offered my sense of logic sound reason to consult ever more astutely with my brain's intuitive process than conscious awareness had ever felt capable of perceiving until the mind blowing uniqueness of that unexpected experience tapped into a depth of innate spirituality that my conscious mind had never fathomed as my own until insight into the complex nature of my unexplored emotional layers began to emerge, and as inter-related strings of insight, concerning the depths of my spirit's unmet needs, began to 'speak' to my conscious mind more clearly than ever before, my think tank had need to call forth inner strengths necessary to make decisions, which social and religious constraints had taught me to believe as forbidden until intuition tapped into my soul's sense of readiness to expose deeper truth to my newly expanded sense of conscious awareness ... And now that we've defined what is meant by 'a mind blowing experience', those of you who've been following my blog can fathom why intuitive trains of thought drive my intelligence to work toward identifying and expunging every drop of undeserved guilt, which had blocked my conscious awareness from enjoying certain experiences so whole/heartedly as to fulfill my spirit's independent need to thrive, free of self-depreciating degradation, based in the distorted absorption of my self image during childhood, which festering, subconsciously, had taken the admonishments of adults as gospel—whereas, today, I've grown to acknowledge my role models as having been emotionally over-reactive ...

Each time insight into deeper truth spotlights another aspect of my negatively focused self-image, festering, subconsciously, my relationship with myself improves, and each time my relationship with myself improves, my relationships with others adjust, accordingly, to everyone's benefit, and as one positive change for the better leads to another, my attitude concerning the person I've actually grown up to be continues to improve until, little by little, change for the better serves to rebalance my attitude about life in general so that, with each next step forward, I find myself smiling while asking:  What could feel more uplifting to the human spirit (at any age) than brainstorming, conscientiously, to relax tight knots of mental tension by reconsidering negative attitudes (which had darkly distorted my self image during childhood), thus offering my mind sound reason to expand my brain's agility to embrace bright ideas, based in strings of emergent insight, which enhance peace of mind as clearly as this train of thought has summarized the primary reason why I challenge my intelligence to pen post after post, each of which encourages my think tank to clarify a spiritually uplifting belief system, based in deeper truth, that frees all of me to be truer to my uniquely existential self, today, than had been possible as recently as yesterday, when, once again, I found myself standing at a fork in the road, questioning which course of action my intuitive voice was coaching me to choose in hopes of taking another step closer to change for the better:  Shall I follow a prescribed path, which, though 'seemingly' safe, does not offer me peace of mind, or shall I continue to listen for my little voice of intuition, encouraging my intelligence to quest ever more self confidently (not self-servingly) for emergent strings of insight, based in deeper truths, which continue to re-energize my spirit's heightening sense of self awareness to adjust toward thriving by directing my soulful sense of determination to carve out each next step as my growing sense of wholesomeness creates my very own 'road less taken' in hopes of satisfying seven existential unmet needs, which all human beings have in common?

Do you realize that I rarely know when a train of thought is pulling into each day's rest station until the last in a string of insights flashes through my mind's eye, which acting like a camera, continues to take snapshots of trains of thought until the intuitive exposure that my intelligence has been seeking, ultimately, develops, clarifying a deeper truth that leads my self confidence toward making each next seriously considered move, regardless of whether my train of thought penetrates deeply into any head other than my own.

Perhaps, tis safe to say that, where many see life as a game of checkers, my spiritual need for inner peace seeks insight into chess ...
Not chess with you, but chess between my intuitive intelligence and my defense system (which is programmed to tie my gray matter into knots in order to oppose any move that might expose my ego's need to deny deeper truth) ...  you see, each time inner conflict plays chess inside my head, my intuitive quest to sense a deeper truth unties one knot of tension after another until humility feels free to acknowledge where my ego's thought process is off target, and since humility directly opposes my ego's need to win at any cost, my ego calls upon its army of defense mechanisms to block the existence of deeper truth from penetrating my wall of denial until my intelligence has untied so many knots of tension as to clear a path whereby insights, flowing freely from a place of intuitive thought, brighten my gray matter to see the light of clarity beckoning at the end of the tunnel, which defensive thoughts can no longer darken once intuition offers a helping hand to my conscious intelligence, which proves in need of that partnership throughout every stage of life, and each time that partnership feels strengthened, my self confident voice encourages my smarts to sit my defense system in time out while the rest of me takes the next positively focused, adventurous step into the great unknown ...  Whew!

And now, if I say so, myself, that's quite enough brainstorming for today. 

1364 ACCEPTING THAT WHICH I CANNOT CHANGE FOR THE BETTER

Knowing that new questions, concerning conflicts
Are sure to emerge, over time

I muster patience with today's puzzlements until
Insight into understanding emerges 'tomorrow'

And knowing that answers to questions tend to
Clarify in their own good time

I work in the meantime to change what I can ...

To accept whatever remains beyond my control

And while learning to differentiate between

That which I can change and that which

Remains beyond my reach

I join a yoga class led by The Dalai Lama, who
Is likely to smile serenely while asking:
Can you define how spirituality affects your life?
Ohmmmm ...

1363 KNOW THYSELF AS DETERMINED OR RELENTLESS

At times, my goal-oriented, decision-making process gives me reason to wonder:
Am I astutely determined or blindly relentless?

If you've ever had cause to wonder about
The difference between the two, you get what I mean ...

So right off the bat, let's invite intuition to clarify the answer to that question:
I am determined, not relentless

If you ask:  How did you determine yourself not relentless?
Let's see if intuitive thought fires off a string of insights in reply:

Whereas a relentless position is based in a ramrod attitude that barrels blindly over
The needs of those who stand in the way of a narcissistic goal ...

Determination to achieve heartfelt goals does not allow blind ambition to
Block my sense of conscious awareness from making sound use of my noodle ...

Though a relentless attitude is based in closed mindedness, which
Being purely emotionally driven, remains stubbornly self serving ...

A determined attitude thinks to lace emotion with insight-driven trains of
Logical thought, fueling a balanced approach toward achieving heartfelt goals

If you ask:  Annie, how do you determine which of these two attitudes best describes
Your chosen path when you feel thwarted from achieving a heartfelt goal?

I'd reply:  Today's logical stream of conscious thought serves as
A prime example, clarifing the historical inner workings of my mind:

When my need to realize a heartfelt goal feels thwarted, my determined attitude
Remains focused on brainstorming toward change for the better, all around ...

And thus, a relentless, narrow-minded person with a narcissistic bent
I know myself not to be, and here is why that's true:

Before my spirit's comfort zone feels free to express my thoughts aloud
My mind has need to draw forth self confidence, supported by ...

My life long quest to absorb pertinent knowledge, which inspires my sense of
Humility to identify personal vulnerabilities in need of shoring up, suggesting that ...

I think to ask myself the same penetrating questions that
My intuitive trains of thought ask you to consider, too ...

1362 THE ESSENTIAL THING ...

Pierre de Coubertin in 1925
2nd President of the International Olympic Committee
In office 1896–1925 "The essential thing is not the triumph but the struggle" Insight suggests that mustering the determination necessary to Master a challenge (which has repeatedly met with failure) refuels The human spirit's desire to struggle forth until hard won success has Been achieved, and thus do we define determination as a personal trait that Drives mankind to muster the self confidence necessary to Continue to develop inner strengths (both mental and physical) as We inch forward on the historical time line, making Such sound use of our solution-seeking noodles as to absorb The wealth of knowledge that proves necessary to achieve any Heartfelt, long range goal, which, though beyond mastery, today May match one's reach at a later date, suggesting better late than never Needless to say, if progression toward achieving a long range goal is to Meet with success then a pattern of thought, which has become Stuck in a cyclical rut must be identified before clarity can Recognize which negative attitude has created a closed mindset, which Proves in need of expansion before change for the better can gather Momentum, and here's why that's true: Closed mindsets are as stubborn and hard to change as habits, which is why Coom sense suggests seeking astute coaching, skilled in carving New pathways of thought where positive focus encourages our spirits To thrive; otherwise we can expect our present trains of thought to take us No place better, tomorrow, than wherever we find ourselves stuck, today And when our spirits feel stuck in quicksand, they,  like any living thing Will continue to sink unless we, who are sinking Think to reach out to accept a helpful hand, attached to a mind whose Insightful strengths prove well practiced at adjusting Narrow comfort zones to match a well-grounded sense of Open mindedness that offers emotional tension a sense of Expanded brain space in which to uncoil, and as Narrow mindsets, limited by unresolved guilt, Expand to absorb new patterns of thought, the persistence of Intuition, knowing the spirit's need for change for the better Creates a relaxed comfort zone that runs deeper than Had been possible when mental tension had tied Intelligent thought into such tight little knots as to have Blocked intuitive trains of thought from Making its way through the tunnel of darkness toward The light, where a bright new sense of rebalanced Self awareness, based in insights, dancing clearly into view Spotlight the heavy weight of baggage that your Brain and mine have struggled to identify and unload, and once That change for the better is ours, guess what feels so free of Yesteryear's festering pain as to dance a jig? Yup!  Our revitalized spirits!  Makes sense, right? BTW, If you've not yet considered the difference between 'Determined' and 'relentless', may I respectfully suggest that There's no better time than now ...

1361 THE PUZZLE ROOM

Last night, figuring our way out of

The Puzzle Room was really fun!

Since our evening's entertainment provided

A mental workout as stimulating as

Running on a treadmill, a quickening of
Heartbeats felt palpable as

The time on the clock ran down

Just imagine the surging charge we'd have enjoyed

Had we won!  Yup!  We failed
Failed to figure out every obscure clue necessary
To free ourselves from The Puzzle Room ...

And though failing doesn't inspire laughter

Laugh we did!  In fact, while puzzling our way

Through this mini, mind-bending adventure

I was amazed at how inventive
The human brain proves to be while unlocking
One piece of a puzzling mystery, which
Feeds directly into the next, until I observed
All ten brains working in tandem to
Solve each next leg of the puzzle by

Plugging into each other's energy fields, forming
An electric circuit, thus catalyzing a group of

Six friends plus four strangers to react
Like teammates, pitching ideas, back and forth, which
When on target, inspired everyone to
Brainstorm toward achieving a common goal ... And
Each time an illusive clue caused our team to feel so
Wholly dazed and confused as to admit to
Being stymied, guess which teammate
(Knowing that time waits for no one) made

A friend of Big Brother (who'd monitored
Our progress from the ceiling screen)

Yup!  Your friend, Annie, the self awareness sleuth
Who dives ever more deeply into mental activity than
Conscious awareness can fathom on its own by
Mustering the humility to request assistance from
Those who have chosen to absorb
A greater sum of knowledge pertaining to
A specific subject than that which
Has been stored in my memory bank, thus far ...

Five minutes more, and we'd surely have beat
The clock, freeing us from remaining captive within
The narrow confines of The Puzzle Room ...

At any rate, I highly recommend indulging in this

Brain-teasing treat with a group of your
Fun-loving friends, and as this mind-bending
Challenge to free oneself from mental constraint
Was first conceived of in Budapest
I'll bet it can be enjoyed wherever you reside

1360 DANCING SPIRITS PROVE CONTAGIOUS!

Refueling, whether it be mind or body, makes my spirit want to dance

And as a dancing spirit proves contagious

My brain frees all of me to clown around, everywhere I go

Each time my mindful quest to deepen self awareness offers

Another layer of my defensive wall sound reason to loosen up

My younger than springtime attitude slips out and dances a jig ... until

A crystal clear view of reality suggests need for downtime to refuel as
Proved true on Friday when my energy-fizzle couldn't deny this fact of life:
Birthdays pile up so swiftly

As to seem to be celebrated twice each year!

Last night, we enjoyed an evening of fun with a group of friends, who

Invited us to recharge our wits by joining them in 'A Great Escape'...

More about that 'race the clock' adventure when next we meet ...

1359 ACCOMPLISHING TODAY'S GOAL

On Friday, my trainer rang my bell at 11:30 am, as planned
After he left, my body reclined, and my brain switched off
If you ask:  What made that happen?  I'd reply:
The sum of my parts voted, unanimously, to do nothing but rest
And as rest is what all of me has needed for weeks
I spent the entire day accomplishing this personal goal
I mean, how else does one fully refuel after running on fumes?
Makes sense, right?

1358 SPIRIT SPARKLING ... BODY STILL POOPED

Wow!  Though my brain's been busily bouncing insights into plain sight, the rest of my body's been sleeping soundly as a log, every night!  Why?  Because, from 'rise and shine' to 'sweet dreams, good night', my waking hours have been running marathons,  non-stop!

Throughout each day, I think my brain is running just fine until sundown, when this or that turns up undone.  Then, upon glancing over my to-do list before tossing it, guess what I find?  Those items, left undone, written as clear as clear can be, suggesting that rather than running fully fueled, my think tank is coasting on fumes, and that makes me say:  This is how my cellphone must feel while recharging with too many windows left open, over night..

Thank goodness, our 50th anniversary party will not take place next week, as originally planned, or I might sleep walk straight through our gala celebration!

Upon returning from the coast on Monday, we learned that Celina wasn't well, so after work on Tuesday, Steven brought Ravi over for dinner, and we enjoyed each other's company.  Then, on Wednesday, Steven dropped Ravi off on his way to work, suggesting my enjoying a bonus day with my sweet playmate while her mommy recovered her strength, and when this precious child squealed with delight to see her Gramma's arms open wide to carry her into our own private playland, my smile re-energized, and my sense of joy refueled until Celina's mom picked up Ravi, offering me an hour to nap before the doorbell rang at five PM, when Will and I embraced Steven's high school girlfriend, Tammy, who, having toured several national parks over spring break with her husband, son (12)  and daughter (10), chose to make their way to the desert to spend time with us before driving back to their home in Colorado, on Friday.

As Tammy and I had not enjoyed each other's company for six years, both spirits felt palpably enriched by the fact that our hearts, longing for reconnection, had made good use of our noodles to create a plan that made our mutual dream come true.  Though Tammy (who'd attended The University of Puget Sound on a soccer scholarship) and Steven (who chose to attend Emory in Atlanta) broke up during their college separation, she and I chose to nurture our friendship, over the years.  Tragically, Tammy's mom died when she was eight, so, naturally, we adopted each other, forever.

Holy cow!  Just glanced at the clock, and as it's past 1AM, suggesting my need to switch gears from penning this post to getting some shut eye before awakening to another pre-planned play date with Ravi, beginning at the breakfast shop where we meet up with my niece and nephew, most Thursdays.  So with thoughts of enjoying another happy, people-who-love-people day, followed by Steven's arrival to fetch Ravi at 5:30, at which time friends plan to whisk Will and me off to dinner and the theater, curtain rising at 7:30 ... hopefully, while enjoying their company, my head won't fall into my soup!

Though my sparkling eyes speak of our winter whirlwind fueling my spirit, my  body offers me a reality check (concerning how many birthdays I've celebrated), during the few evenings, which find Will and yours truly at home, snoozing in front of the TV by 8PM ... That's not to say I'd choose to live life differently, because I'm aware of change knocking, uninvited, at our door, during each stage of life, so as long as heartfelt connections remain healthy enough to travel, I'll embrace every opportunity to welcome treasured family and friends into our home no matter how easily I tire as these hectic winter months fly by ...

And now that it's way past time for my heart, spirit, soul and hopefully, my mind to catch the Dreamland Express, where my smile will sleepily reflect, appreciatively, over my life, I plan to drift into that coveted place of peaceful repose, where memory reminisces over an on-going series of blessed events, most especially moments when an adorable little girl (whose habit is to play on the front lawn with her mommy and Rhodesian Ridgeback, Tova, while awaiting her Gramma's arrival), spies my shiny red SUV pulling into her driveway, and since she (like me) can sense lots of fun lying directly ahead, Ravi's beaming smile toddles joyfully toward my car while I park and leap out, eager to catch this precious little bundle of positive energy in my arms, and while holding Ravi close to my heart, my spirit can't help but rejoice over my good fortune, which highlights this fact:  Time and again, my younger-than-springtime-attitude feels sound reason to swirl all signs of aging fatigue away ... And my heart sincerely hopes that you, too, may enjoy countless five star days, followed by nights, which offer your heart, mind, spirit and soul sound reason to replenish the source of your younger than springtime attitude upon arising from restful hours of peaceful repose  ...

Your forever friend,

Annie

PS
Though penned whenever I managed to squeeze a bit of writing time into my busy days on Wednesday and Thursday, this post was not published until right before I went to sleep, sometime after 1AM, Friday 'morning'.