Still in the process of gaining clarity concerning the root of this fear that's overwhelming my sense of logic, balance, well being and personal safety ...
EMDR is instrumental in guiding me to identify and overcome debilitating fears, based in childhood trauma.
EMDR is a form of therapy that helps to determine childhood trauma buried so deeply within the subconscious that we are unaware of the negative ways in which yesteryear influences our self perception (self esteem), today.
If you need further explanation, please google EMDR.
Yesterday, during a session of EMDR, a trauma emerged from my subconscious that occurred when I was less than two years old. While working as an adult to reprocess the terror I'd felt as a child, logic began to interlace with fear that's threatening my sense of safety, today. At least that's my hope. Truthfully, when an emotion as intense as I am feeling controls my mind to such a great extent, it's difficult to tell whether I'm truly beginning to inch forward toward regaining my sense of balance or fooling myself.
At this point, I'm working to identify and readjust my fearful attitude.
Historically, I've been able to figure myself out and solve problems, which had once loomed huge, so there's no reason why that won't happen, again, given time.
I just wrote an email to a dear friend, suggesting that in the past, fearsome situations threw me into denial, and while in denial, I'd joke around a lot. Now, fear makes me very quiet. Pensive.
I wonder if the difference between then and now points to this possibility: Though I write about denial, reality and ... balance in all things, I'm out of balance, right now, for sound reason. You see, I'd once lived in denial, and perhaps, as a consequence of concentrating solely on connecting with reality, it's natural for my mind to swing to the opposite side of the spectrum before I can balance a healthy dose of denial with reality during life's most frightening times. I mean, a small injection of denial to minimize my fear sure would help while working to adjust my attitude, right? You know, like injecting a shot of novocaine before the dentist's drill reaches the root. Hey! Maybe I'm on to something, here. When we stop to think about it, isn't this what Mother Nature intended denial to be? A stress (pain) reliever during times that try our souls?
Actually, if I'm looking for signs of rebalancing today's fearful mindset with an injection of positive focus then it's good to know that my think tank is processing thoughtfully, right now, instead of writing fearfully. After all, writing thoughtfully is a positive sign, in and of itself. Let's face it. I haven't been able to write productively for days. As post traumatic stress creates confusion, clarity is no where to be found. Today, My think tank feels clear enough to create lucid trains of thought.
Upon rereading that last paragraph, I released a big sigh and smiled, naturally...
Another positive sign.
Listen, I could use your encouragement, here. Adjusting fearful mindsets so we can function in a well balanced state during exceptionally scary times is demanding work. Though it's true that no one can adjust my mindset but me, a strong foundation of support always helps.
Somehow when you show up, your interest helps me feel better during difficult times.
So, thank you, wherever you are, for hanging in there with me.
Guess I'm in the process of growing. So you know what's coming next, right?
No pain, no gain ...
Tomorrow, I hope to feel well enough to tell you what's going on, presently, that stimulated subconscious (unprocessed) fear to emerge and gain control over my mind. We'll have to wait and see ...
Hoping that some of what my mind explores is helpful to you ...
Your friend,
Annie
EMDR is instrumental in guiding me to identify and overcome debilitating fears, based in childhood trauma.
EMDR is a form of therapy that helps to determine childhood trauma buried so deeply within the subconscious that we are unaware of the negative ways in which yesteryear influences our self perception (self esteem), today.
If you need further explanation, please google EMDR.
Yesterday, during a session of EMDR, a trauma emerged from my subconscious that occurred when I was less than two years old. While working as an adult to reprocess the terror I'd felt as a child, logic began to interlace with fear that's threatening my sense of safety, today. At least that's my hope. Truthfully, when an emotion as intense as I am feeling controls my mind to such a great extent, it's difficult to tell whether I'm truly beginning to inch forward toward regaining my sense of balance or fooling myself.
At this point, I'm working to identify and readjust my fearful attitude.
Historically, I've been able to figure myself out and solve problems, which had once loomed huge, so there's no reason why that won't happen, again, given time.
I just wrote an email to a dear friend, suggesting that in the past, fearsome situations threw me into denial, and while in denial, I'd joke around a lot. Now, fear makes me very quiet. Pensive.
I wonder if the difference between then and now points to this possibility: Though I write about denial, reality and ... balance in all things, I'm out of balance, right now, for sound reason. You see, I'd once lived in denial, and perhaps, as a consequence of concentrating solely on connecting with reality, it's natural for my mind to swing to the opposite side of the spectrum before I can balance a healthy dose of denial with reality during life's most frightening times. I mean, a small injection of denial to minimize my fear sure would help while working to adjust my attitude, right? You know, like injecting a shot of novocaine before the dentist's drill reaches the root. Hey! Maybe I'm on to something, here. When we stop to think about it, isn't this what Mother Nature intended denial to be? A stress (pain) reliever during times that try our souls?
Actually, if I'm looking for signs of rebalancing today's fearful mindset with an injection of positive focus then it's good to know that my think tank is processing thoughtfully, right now, instead of writing fearfully. After all, writing thoughtfully is a positive sign, in and of itself. Let's face it. I haven't been able to write productively for days. As post traumatic stress creates confusion, clarity is no where to be found. Today, My think tank feels clear enough to create lucid trains of thought.
Upon rereading that last paragraph, I released a big sigh and smiled, naturally...
Another positive sign.
Listen, I could use your encouragement, here. Adjusting fearful mindsets so we can function in a well balanced state during exceptionally scary times is demanding work. Though it's true that no one can adjust my mindset but me, a strong foundation of support always helps.
Somehow when you show up, your interest helps me feel better during difficult times.
So, thank you, wherever you are, for hanging in there with me.
Guess I'm in the process of growing. So you know what's coming next, right?
No pain, no gain ...
Tomorrow, I hope to feel well enough to tell you what's going on, presently, that stimulated subconscious (unprocessed) fear to emerge and gain control over my mind. We'll have to wait and see ...
Hoping that some of what my mind explores is helpful to you ...
Your friend,
Annie
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