1390 INTRO TO MY INEXPERIENCED ADVENTURES INTO PARENTING Part 24

2015

By now, you must know that, over the past few days, something

Has kept me so busy as to place penning a story on the back burner 

And as the same proves true, today, you may wonder
Why, upon awakening, this morning, I decided to post, at all ...
However, as soon as you learn what enticed me to
Reach for my iPad and begin to write
I think you'll understand:
Believe it or not ... I found an oyster in my bed!

And upon popping it open, guess what rolled right into
My open palm?  A translucent pearl!

Then, after observing the long lasting luster of this
Natural treasure, more closely, I thought:
Wow!  I'll bet my friend would like to see the magical quality of

My find, so with thoughts of combining your pleasure with mine

I chose to place that pearl in yesterday's post for safe keeping
Suggesting that all you need do is to scroll back while

I ready myself to enjoy another fun day with

All of my kids, and since I can hear them laughing while

Clammering for me to open my bedroom door, so

We can get another great day off to a high spirited start
Wisdom (which offers each pearl its long lasting luster) suggests
My not keeping anyone I love waiting for
One moment longer than necessary, and

To that end I'll sign off for today by
Beaming a smile as bright as sunshine your way ... And
Hopefully, if I chance to awaken so early as to write before
My family, which numbers ten, is heard tending to small fry ...
You'll read a post that revisits 1967, when
Will's med school graduation offers reason for me to
Remove the sign on my bathroom mirror:
Take your pill or get pregnant, Dummy ...

1389 INTRO TO MY INEXPERIENCED ADVENTURES INTO PARENTING Part 23

Life, flashing forward

You know what 'they' say ...
Time flies when you're having fun!
Here's Ravi wearing the dress I crocheted, four decades ago, for my niece, Lauren ...
(Where in the world did those four decades go???)
As family fun time is offering me another five star day
I've no time to write a new post, today ...
Hope you and yours are having lots of fun, too!
You see, anyone my age can attest to this truth:
Life is short
And the only way to reflect back without regret is to
Make the best of each moment, every day, in every way
And thus do you watch me
Lay myself down to sleep
Knowing that the bright side of my mind
Will dive toward insight in the still of the night, until
My brain, working as a well balanced whole
Actually figures out how to give
A plan that did not work out as I'd hoped a tweak, so that
Rather than giving up on achieving a heartfelt goal, which
Proves highly complex, I remind myself to
Make good use of my intelligence by
Diving ever more deeply into my think tank until
An oyster is spied, which, upon opening, will reveal
The magic of a brand new pearl ...
And once I hold that translucent pearl
Up to the light, guess what happens, next?
My conscious mind awakens to add another
Pearl of wisdom to the string of insights, concerning
How best to achieve heartfelt goals, which, proving
Long range in nature, need not be illusive, forever
And each time today's pearl enhances my sense of logic
I overcome yesteryear's negatively focused sense of defeat by
Transcending inner conflict, and once
Inner peace feels restored, guess who adds
Yet another Win-Win victory to those, which
Over my lifetime, have lined up inside my head like
Lucky ducks, all in a row, and resultant of
Each complex plan revising itself inside my head
Every puzzling piece of my life seems to realign and
Fall into place until, time and again
Bigger pictures appear, as though all on their own
And whenever that happens, guess whose
Spirit soars in awe of the way that
The contradictive parts of the human brain can
Best be utilized once each of us figures out how to
Coax our think tanks to function as
A harmonic, well balanced whole ...
I mean, each time we think of the brain
As a well maintained, highly complex machine, like
A car, we come to see why we need to learn how to make
Good use of self control, concerning when to
Switch gears from a neutral position (while
We get our bearings) into reverse in order to
Back out of the garage; however ...
If we hope not to travel in reverse, forever
We'd do well to take our foot off the brake while
Turning the steering wheel to face the direction that
We really long to go and then, when readiness suggests
Pressing the petal to the metal, we can actually
Achieve a heartfelt, long range goal, which
Has been illusive for most of our lives
And now that that pearl has slipped onto
The same silk thread, which holds countless others ...
Let's place this treasured necklace in a safe place until
We seek each other out, tomorrow, which is
Only a day away ...
Your friend,
Annie

1388 INTRO TO MY INEXPERIENCED ADVENTURES INTO PARENTING Part 22

2015
Each day, upon awakening, I reach for my iPad, even when I don't have time to write or my mind feels too tired to spur a story to unwind (both of which prove true, today).
Why?
Well, on days when I don't have time to recreate a scene from the past or my mind just needs to rest from diving to retrieve details from many years ago, I still long to connect with you, so, on days, like today when I'm tired and short on time, rather than writing, I review that which has already been written, and invariably, a published post finds itself tweaked in this way or that.  And as this morning sees me as busy and tired from all the fun I experienced, yesterday, with all of my children and their three children ... and as more of the same is planned for today, my body is aching to submerge in the hot tub, which is exactly where I plan to luxuriate as soon as Post 1387 has been reviewed and tweaked ... at least one more time ... And once that's been done, I'll muster the courage to pour myself into my bathing suit ... which, as you know, has never been easy as pie for me ... (Gosh darn it—It sure was easy to down that slice of apple pie, with everyone, last night, and small as my slice proved to be, I can feel the darn old thing sticking to my hips!
Wishing you a five star day ...
Your fixated friend, Annie

1387 INTRO TO MY INEXPERIENCED ADVENTURES INTO PARENTING Part 21

2015
And now, having introduced myself and Will to you as young marrieds, the time feels ripe to write my retrospective perspective of raising siblings, who (unlike Cain and Abel), will not only survive childhood battles but actually learned to develop into each other's supportive friends once leadership becomes aware of the importance of guiding each child to minimize sibling rivalry by depositing the power of knowledge into memory banks (first mine, then theirs), in hopes of creating a positively focused emotional environment where all ages and both genders grow to embrace the value of mutual respect, resulting in brotherhood thriving rather than merely surviving—most especially when heated moments, due to conflict, indicate need to take time out to release anxiety or frustration (both of which interfere with mental acuity) so that, upon regrouping, everyone has cooled down, suggesting that during brainstorming sessions in which needs are considered, all around, problem solvers have the mental clarity necessary to come up with such logical solutions as to resolve conflicts with the spirit of cooperation intact, and when cooperation is the name of the game, resentful and rebellious attitudes have little reason to shape up ...  Whew!

Quite a challenge for leadership to guide everyone in the family to pull off attitudes of cooperation with consistency, right?  In fact, you can believe me when I say that figuring out how to inspire cooperative attitudes to develop in all three of my children by role-modeling and coaching each one to effectively calm their own emotional reactions before mayhem exploded may feel nearly impossible to achieve unless leadership quests toward strings of insight into both sides of human nature, and here's why that quest worked for me:  As strings of insight continue to link together (even now), trains of thought emerge from my mind that offer creativity endless chances to strengthen an emotional environment in which the attitudes of parents and children are trained (yes, trained) to focus on Win-Win ...

You see,  in homes where win-win wins out, much more often than not, adults and their offspring learn to practice (mutually respectful) methods of conflict resolution just as championship teams, who win rings, hone their personal skills while practicing on the playing field with their teammates, day after day—and now, rather than pontificating, any longer, let's see what happens when Adam and Eve ... Oops, I mean Annie and Will feel the time is ripe to chomp into that apple, which has nourished their mutual hunger to love and nurture a child of their own ...

BTW ... If you wonder which employees had opened the supermarket and movie theater while the blizzard of '67 was still paralyzing the Midwest—retrospectively, so do I.  My guess is that these employees must have been those entrusted with keys, who'd lived within walking distance (as unlikely as that coincidence might seem).  Suffice to say that life proves stranger than fiction, repeatedly ... and that's a good thing, because that which challenges our curiosity saves mental acuity from drowning in routine just as passion, stirring our hearts to quicken, exercises our spirits' need to soar  ...

1386 INTRO TO MY INEXPERIENCED ADVENTURES INTO PARENTING Part 20

1967
Without further ado
Here's how my plan, which strengthened our bond with Jack and Jill
Created change for the better by considering needs, all around:
Each evening the medical student, whose buns had been glued to
The card chair for hours with his head buried in medical books, had
The run of our apartment, while I, though innocent of
Wrong doing, felt imprisoned within a cell, because if I'd
So much as thought to venture beyond my prescribed boundaries then
Guess who'd felt guilty as all get out?
Why?  Because I'd glanced through pages, imprinted with
The gargantuan amount of info that Will had need
To stuff into his head before retrieving it on exams, and
I had no clue how he crammed so much in, night after night
Luckily, our bedroom and bathroom shared a common wall

On the other side of the living room wall, which
Conjoined our apartments, sat Jack, each evening, buns glued to
His chair at their dining table, head buried
In law books, while Jill read, watched TV, did her nails and
Rolled her hair in large metal curlers in their bedroom ...

Upon expressing my awareness, concerning
The duality of our existence, which proved
As similar as Siamese twins, Will and I
Approached our friends with this bright idea:
After each couple enjoys one-on-one time at dinner
The guys can study in one apartment for hours while
A pair of imprisoned women, innocent of wrong doing
Feel guilt free while enjoying each other's company in
The other apartment until all four come together to
Watch the nightly news after medical and law texts
Have been placed aside, at which time two couples can enjoy
Our friendship on our king sized mattress for half an hour before
Bidding each other sweet dreams when
It comes time to separate and douse the lights ...
As Jack and Jill love this idea and as their dining set offers
More table room for texts to be spread out as well as
Chairs, which offer more in the way of comfort than
Our borrowed card table set, Jill and I begin to enjoy
The run of my apartment, each night, while
The unbroken silence of serious study feels secured, next door
And thus does it come to pass that while
Chatting freely about this or that
Jill and I have great fun, each evening, performing
Science experiments in my kitchen, ensuring that
My lesson plan for the next day will not
Blow up in my face before my entire fifth grade class, and
In this in this way does a simple plan offer
Four individuals the freedom to eliminate inner conflict, thus
Soothing repressed frustration, suggesting that rather than silently
Building layers of resentment behind
Walls of denial, heartfelt bonds of friendship and
Peace of mind enhanced contentment, all around

Once March roared like a lion and
April cried, May stepped aside, so that
Pretty little June had room to burst into full bloom, and
After pulling all nighters to crush their finals
Does it come to pass that two highly responsible young men
Ready themselves to accept well-earned diplomas, conferring
A medical and law degree upon one or the other,  offering
Each one reason to celebrate their
Hard won achievements, after
Graduation ceremonies, at dinner with extended family

Later that evening, we four arrive home
Two by two, eager to rejoice, together, and so
Lying on our king sized mattress ...
Boy-girl-boy-girl, as has become our nightly habit
We watch the nightly news before
Hugging each other good night at our front door, at which time
Jill and I share a quiet smile, knowing how
Lovingly this pair of hard working men had been
Supported, both emotionally and financially, by their wives

BTW:  I've been meaning to mention that in the aftermath of
The big snow of '67, our district kept noses of
Students and staff pressed to the grindstone for
An extra week and a half (after most schools, across
The nation, had been released for summer vacation)
In this way did our school district remain in compliance with
Laws, mandating days spent absorbing the 3R's
And though my kids declared our late summer dismissal unfair
I, knowing better, turned their little frowns around by
Initiating a discussion, concerning all the fun we'd each enjoyed
During our stolen moments of pure, unadulterated
Pleasure, which had freed our minds, bodies and
Spirits from daily routine for two whole weeks, and while
Penning this last series of posts, you can imagine
My face wearing the same smile, which had been mine
Each time the nightly news reported
My school closed, day after day, because:
Each time a wondrous memory of an
Extraordinary moment in time emerges from
My memory bank, I feel the same emotion, today, as
Had proved true back then ... And when the memory is
Positive, my spirit sings ... unlike those times
When an unnerving memory causes PTSD to
Shiver down my spine ...
Thank goodness, most of my memories inspire smiles ...
Suggesting that I'm about to invest quite a lot of
Time in telling you stories of moments, which
Are sure to inspire my spirit to smile, day after day ...
And now that today's train of thought has succeeded in
Pulling all aspects of yesteryear's
Momentous, city paralyzing, white out into
Today's rest station, let's reinvest
The most positive aspects of this unexpected
Event within the half full side of my memory bank before
We chug forward toward the next chapter in my life where
A pair of young marrieds ready themselves to bounce
A treasured wee one on their knees until their adorable baby burps ...

1385 INTRO TO MY INEXPERIENCED ADVENTURES INTO PARENTING Part 19

1967
As to that lasting change, which will strengthen friendship's bond between two couples whose apartments share a common wall, well, here's what happened when a creative plan bounced out of my mind into Will's ear, and once my sense of logic locked into his, we knocked on Jack and Jill's front door to bounce that ball into their court with this hope in mind:   As everyone's needs had been considered before I'd chosen to open my mouth, Will and I felt hopeful that upon listening to an idea that creativity had conjured up, we'd all team up and declare the simplicity of this plan a slam dunk.  And here's why this plan appealed to all four:

Before the big snow, Will had sat at our borrowed card table, each night after dinner, head down, studying intently until it was time for the nightly news when he'd close up shop, turn on the TV, and join me in bed for half an hour before spontaneously closing his eyes, as though hypnotized to fall into an exhausted, comatosed sleep.

During those evening hours that Will had spent studying, pre-blizzard, I'd been relegated to the bedroom and asked not to make an appearance in the kitchen for snacks for fear of disrupting the med student's method of mind wearying memorization, which had need of uninterrupted continuity of thought.  Being a pleaser, extraordinaire, I complied, night after night, without a complaint, and thus did it become my habit, right after dinner, to stock the bedroom with snacks, just like a nut, squirreling munchies within my reach while grading papers, marking tests, or nursing my loneliness by befriending characters in well-written novels ... rarely did I think to turn on the TV.  During our first year of wedded bliss (?), Will's wiry frame lost 10 pounds to nervous energy, which, to my misfortune, had found their way onto me—plus five more for good measure!  And having gained weight, I saw myself as too unattractive to entice my exhausted husband to pay me any mind, which is why the leopard skin found itself forgotten in the back of my closet just as my heart felt forsaken on the back burner of Will's mind—until fate sent that blessed blizzard of all blizzards offering me a glimpse of the attentive bridegroom, whom I'd eagerly invited to know me in a biblical way on our wedding night, less than one year, past ...

2015
As for now, I've run out of time to describe why my plan appealed to Jack and Jill, because my door bell will be ringing, momentarily, and when I open the door, a dear high school friend, who just flew in from the Midwest, will find herself welcomed into my arms before being ushered into our guest room to unpack and freshen up; so in readiness to switch tracks, I'll push 'pause' on my blog until tomorrow, when my friend drives off in her rent-a-car to enjoy the weekend with her son ...

PS Please click on two comments below ...

1384 INTRO TO MY INEXPERIENCED ADVENTURES INTO PARENTING Part 18

1967
Have you ever seen a newly built supermarket before its empty shelves have been stocked?  Well, neither have I, though that's exactly what our neighborhood grocery store looked like by the time Will and I and Jack and Jill stood stock still in shock after entering the emporium's front door, because once we'd sauntered our way out of our apartments, down three flights of stairs and walked, leisurely through unshoveled, thigh high snow, we found that the early birds had cleaned the entire place out!  OMG!  We thought—so that's why people, we'd passed in the street, standing next to sleds, ladened with gallons of milk, loaves of bread, jars of peanut butter and jam, etc. etc., were holding up rectangular sheets of cardboard (upon which had been written, For Sale) in their greedy little mitts, suggestive of this fact:  Along with the blizzard came black marketeers, which common sense suggests is to be expected once both sides of human nature is accepted as a given ... and as delivery trucks had been unable to drive along that otherwise busy thoroughfare for the last two days and as local traffic continued to remain at a standstill, it became clear that the store's depleted stock would not be replenished for at least a day or two longer, so families in need of perishables had no choice other than paying through the nose to feed growing children, whose mouths always seem to be as hungrily open as is true of baby birds.

So what do we do?
We walk home, pretty much empty handed, but not one spirit feels dejected, because having decided to pool whatever food we have left, all four of us rejoice in the fact that our adventurous sense of freedom from routine will continue until the flash frozen state of our great metropolis has thawed a bit more, so casting thoughts of returning to the grindstone to the winds, we four run upstairs, shed outer garments, here and there, and ransack both of our fridges and cabinet shelves while concocting a menu to satisfy our hunger for fun by putting our chefs' caps together and cooking up a smorgasbord of our own making.  Following our sumptuous lunch, a Scrabble board appears after which we enjoy a creative dinner, followed by making short work of the dishes before eagerly donning our outer garments, again, and bundling up as warmly as possible, guess which four lunatics choose to wander out into the cold crisp, starlit wonderland with visions of hiking a mile with snow crunching under foot, in hopes of finding the local movie theater open and showing something half way decent (pre Google), because none of us can remember the last time we'd thrown caution to the winds and enjoyed a movie, midweek.  And guess what?  It actually is, as we'd hoped!  Open!   And we have no trouble finding four seats, together, because, Needless to say, the theater is empty ... And now, here comes the corker ...

Having offered us the freedom to frolick within our winter fairyland for four days and nights, our giant metropolis reawakens with need to plow at least one lane in each direction along the majority of major thoroughfares, which, no longer being completely snowbound, are about to free the imprisoned populous to resume their travails, concerning getting to and from work, school or wherever they feel need to go in slow-mo, of course.  And though that's a good thing, each time Will and I, Jack and Jill listen to the nightly news, their green-eyed monsters have reason to glare jealously in my direction, over the next nine or ten days!  Why?

While they must recommence the grueling nature of their frozen commutes to and from work, I remain snug as a bug in a rug, feeling fully insulated from being whipped about by icy blasts of wind while early mornings see each of them bent over, shovels in hand, working to dig our cars out from under unplowed snow banks or waiting for buses, which, having packed in far too many people to stop for even one more frozen sardine, are whizzing past bus stops where groups of commuters are seen praying for the next driver to stop and save their blood streams from freezing into rivers of ice.  Then at the end of those days when Will, Jack and Jill are able to commute or drive themselves to their place of employment or school, my husband and friends find that reclaiming a  park space at the end of the day proves so difficult as to induce people to place chairs outside in hopes of markedly reserving the same space, which they'd shoveled and vacated, early in the day.  Interestingly, fighting the elements is akin to fighting basic instincts for this reason ... Mother Nature is a powerful creature!  Also interesting is this fact:  For some reason, in addition to greed, human nature called both camaraderie and generosity of spirit into play, because wherever those chairs had been placed to hold a parking place, that's where they were found at the end of day—pointing once again to balance in all things.

The fact that the giant metropolis had reawakened did not equate with city or suburban life resembling anything that felt normal for many weeks!  And the surrealistic nature of our personal existence felt most especially shocking during the wee hours of that particular night when Will and I had been jarred awake by the booming sound of something crashing to the floor, which proved much too close to our bedroom to ignore, which is why I, in my football jersey, can be seen following close behind Will, through our darkened abode, only to find that a solidly plastered wall has unexpectedly sloughed straight to the kitchen floor, exposing bare red brick that shocks us senseless in the same way that underlying reasons, leading to unexpected meltdowns, may go unnoticed for quite some time before a relationship that's been unraveling 'seems' to fall suddenly, jarringly, utterly unexpectedly apart!

At any rate, Will, Jack and Jill battle the elements for at least a week and a half before my bed-snuggling-late-to-rise-spend-each-day-freely-choosing-to-do-exactly-as-I'd-please comes abruptly to an end, jarring me into accepting the cold hard fact that my trek to the bus stop, train station and second bus stop is about to resume, at which time, my wind-whipped nose will turn beet red red while my boots stomp around in the snow to keep my nylon hose from freezing to my bare legged bones, though nothing I do can stop frozen tears from stinging my cheeks when one fully packed bus after another fails to stop for this sardine, who'd feels solidly frozen, twice daily, right up to my gills.  As you can imagine, my husband and two friends whoop it up on the evening when, instead of declaring my school district closed, yet again, the news anchor reported that which three pairs of ears had been waiting for days to hear:  School district 3??? , which has been closed for two weeks, will open, tomorrow!

As to why schools throughout my district have been the last to open?  Well, the suburb where I'd taught fifth grade had never felt need of purchasing super expensive snow plow equipment.  In fact, up until the big hibernation of '67,  the governing body of my suburb had economically chosen to borrow the like after neighboring suburban towns had dug themselves out.  Needless to say, after schools, businesses and residents had experienced being shut ins for two entire weeks, the blizzard that broke the camel's back spurred serious action in which split second change had need to take place; I mean this was January, and winters in the Midwest are known to encroach upon Spring!

At any rate, that winter storm created a lasting change to take place in our apartment as well as in the apartment, next door  ...