75 FIRST KISS Part 10

More about imparting bite sized portions of knowledge:


Art Linkletter would have had a ball if he'd ever interviewed my crew!


One evening, my eleven (or twelve) year old and I are sitting side by side on  our couch watching a prime time soap when a steamy bedroom scene catches fire.  As the main characters tumble back and forth, over and under each other, the TV screen heats up with innuendo of whatever's going on beneath the sheets—lots of bouncing, up and down, moaning and groaning under jumbled covers, which hide everything from view except for the lip lock that's plain to see.  Unexpectedly, my child turns to me and declares:  You and Dad don't do that!


Grinning, I ask:  How do you know what we do?


With utter innocence my child responds:  I've never see you do that.


At this, I point to the TV and ask as simply as you please:  Well ... do you see any kids in the room, watching them?


Once my child's dropped-jaw shock stops stunning his brain, I engage his readiness in a brief discussion concerning adult sexuality, privacy, knocking on closed doors, waiting for permission to come in ... and whatever else comes to mind—within reason—meaning that I leave hormones, passion and self-control  for another day—knowing that each time innocence demonstrates readiness to absorb knowledge, my children's comments and questions will open the door to explore discussions concerning intimacy at deeper levels of comprehension than before.  And as I want to be the person with whom my children seek clarification concerning the topic of sexuality, I'll end today's post with this question:

If attitude is everything then when a child demonstrates an open sense of readiness to listen, absorb information and ask questions concerning intimacy, doth thee respond with discomfort or ease?  if you respond with ease, so will they.  Respond with embarrassment or dismissal, and they'll get their information or more likely, misinformation, elsewhere ... like amongst their peers ...

74 MY BRAIN THIS BLOG YOUR BRAIN

Do you know why I feel the need to understand the inner workings of this blog?

This blog is my way of connecting meaningfully with you.

When the blog is not running smoothly, I worry that my brain waves and yours may grow fuzzy.  As I value our connection, I don't want anything of a 'technical nature' to interfere with our sense of clarity.  (That's why I'll edit before and several days after posting.)  :-)


Each time a puzzling change irritates a person's sense of clarity, we become confused, worried, fearful, anxious, or insecure).  At these times our brains automatically release waves of negatively charged energy, which disrupt our sense of inner peace.  As negatively charged tension is disruptive, our wave lengths have trouble connecting logic with logic.


As two people learn how waves of emotion disrupt logic during serious discussions, people are more apt to calm down.  And in this way do love and friendship benefit—all around.


Speaking from experience, I can vouch for this fact: 

IF KNOWLEDGE IS POWER THEN KNOWLEDGE, CONCERNING EMOTIONAL RESPONSES, CAN BE A POWERFUL APHRODISIAC.
:-)

On the other hand

When repressed, negatively focused emotion busts loose on both sides

It's every 'man' for 'himself'!

And when that's the case

LOOK OUT!
RUN FOR COVER!

AND TAKE A TIME OUT!

BECAUSE

WHAT YOU HAVE ON YOUR HANDS
IS BOUND TO TURN INTO
A LOGIC-FREE

FIGHT

FREEZE

FLEE
(or lie)

TIME

ON

BOTH

SIDES

 FOR

  SURE!

ONCE MORE WITH FEELING ... 73

As usual, my subconscious was busy 'speaking' to me during the night. Here's what it said:

Annie, don't worry when your brain feels confused.  Confusion signals a need to clarify some aspect of love and life.  For example, right now,  your brain is busy learning the 'ins and out's of creating this blog.  When the blog source, which connects you with the web is in the midst of change, thus allowing for better connections, you may not understand what's taking place.  For example, yesterday, I was able to read, but my password did not offer me access to writing.  Needless to say, I did everything as I'd done in the past, because I didn't know that change was a foot.  And though I'm still not sure about what has changed ... at least I'm free to write and move forward, again.  And that, my friends, is quite a relief!  So once again, this blog is like life in that I get a handle on some changes, while working to understand others.  Sometimes, a post seems to disappear only to reappear—like memories that come and go inside our minds.

Each time the human mind is blown, logic tunes out; basic instincts kick in ...
and:

During times of emotional upheaval, the only brain signals, which are free to 'speak', are: fight, flee, freeze (or lie).

As you shall soon see, our Jack-in-the-box, defensive response is an aspect of reality that both genders would be wise to control—regardless of age.

I've already made mention of the fact that Annie's mind will not conjure up THE LINE OF CONTROL until she's raising a family of her own.  So as my blog unfolds, you'll witness many examples of basic instincts leaping out between people who love each other, deeply.  You see, when too much emotion is stuffed deep inside, it doesn't disappear.  Suppressed emotion coils up, and just like that fully cranked Jack in the box:

As inner pressure builds and a fully cranked mind bursts there's no telling what may spring out of our mouths.

And if two fully cranked minds burst open, at once ... watch out:  Boiling Kettle say hello to Boiling Pot!

RR&R TUNNEL VISION VS. TOWER VISION 72

Hmmm... SOMETHING ABOUT THIS POST FEELS A LITTLE SCREWY ... first of all, I can't delete the space between the title and my first line. 

Secondly, if the first part of this post has already been published, I apologize for repeating myself.

On the other hand, these points make so much sense that if you've read it, before, I hope you'll read it, again.  If you choose not to reread it, I hope you'll scroll down, because significant points about my mom and dad have been added at the end.  So here we go:

If you've ever wondered how tower vision differs from tunnel vision, then this is your lucky day.


Let's take tunnel vision first:  I visualize a person stuffed into a tunnel, crawling forward, gathering clues in the dark.  And while crawling forward, eyes remain focused on a glimmer of light, which signals the end of confusion, ahead.  


Ultimately, the day will dawn when that glimmer of light expands into a beam of light, highlighting a deeply sought after Aha! moment.  At that moment, the tunnel expands; the crawler stands up and hungrily devours the smorgasbord of logic that pours into his or her mind.  Tunnel crawlers tend to be bookish.

On the other hand, here's how I visualize life amongst tower dwellers:
First, imagine egos, wearing blinders, balancing precariously atop sky-high pedestals.  Next imagine a safety net, grounded in reality, encircling each pedestal.  Now picture this safety net being held secure by many loving hearts.


Unfortunately, no matter how caringly these hearts coax the tower dweller to take a leap of faith, every word of encouragement falls on ears too fearful of change to hear.  You see tower dwellers can't break the spell of self imprisonment until the blame game est finis.  In short, logic speaks to deaf ears.

While frightened brains blame others for devastating changes, spongy brains bounce here and there, hoping to meet others half way.  As a frightened brain exists within a narrow frame of mind, it's train of thought keeps circling round and round.  So rather than bouncing from here to there, it grows ever more brittle and resistant to change, over time.


Before any person can embrace a leap of faith and fly free of fear, we must each cast off the heavy weight of our ego's protective shields.  Expunging fear of change is difficult to do unless we place pride to one side and own up to our vulnerabilities—truthfully.  Once the heavy weight of false pride is set aside, we fly toward freedom on humility's wings.  In this way do couples-at-war hug, kiss, make up and fly toward the future, hand in hand.

Tis true that the higher we climb the farther we fall, so both minds must feel secure enough to discard false masks.  Minds, which grow spongy enough to absorb insights, rebound from a serious plunge with a bounce.


For example, I remember one time when my parents were in their late eighties, and my mom was bouncing new ideas off my dad, which caused our beloved patriarch mind to ache.  When Dad voiced his frustration by declaring, "I'm too old to change!" here was Mom's spunky reply:

"Well, you may be too old to change, but I'm not dead, yet!"

Way to go, Mom!

When Dad asked for my opinion about changes taking place in Mom, I smiled, hugged him close, and gently said:  I think Mom is being influenced by the 'younger' generation—namely—Lauren and me.  Though Dad took pride in his adult daughters' independent minds, his perspective narrowed when the ideas of my generation hit too close to his home.  :-)


It's scary for tower dwellers to remove their blinders, because no one wants to see the narrow limitations of one's own scope.  Had Dad been able to take that leap of faith, he's pride in Mom's courage would have shone bright.  And if I take the liberty of paraphrasing Mom's attitude of moving forward and thriving over surviving, here's what I believe she'd say:  Life offers people of all ages and both genders countless opportunities to open their minds and embrace self-empowering leaps of faith.


In addition to showering our family with love, Dad showed his children how to adventure past certain fears.


In addition to showering our family with love, Mom showed her children how to fly free of constraint on humility's wings.

Lucky Lauren.  Lucky me.

So if Dad's heart and spirit had matched Mom's, then why did our beloved patriarch take offense at having been challenged when our beloved matriarch needed to test her wings?


Well during times of conflict, good people of both genders and all ages take turns being—tunnel crawlers, tower dwellers, safety nets—and rebels.


In truth, real life is fraught with as much conflict as any reality show on TV.  So, Mom could no longer follow the script, which make Dad's comfort zone feel secure. In short, having listened to changes taking place in her daughters' generation, Mom's expanded sense of self respect insisted that she speak her mind differently than she had in the past.  As you can imagine, Mom's new attitude did not sit well with:  The Papa!  The Papa!  Tradition!


After all, my parents were in their eighties when changes, which made sense to the 'younger' generation, began to 'speak' to Mom.  And when one accepts change while the other does not—emotional combustion matches the finale on the Fourth of July.


*While struggling with comfort zones and combustible emotions, twelve year old kids have no clue about tunnelers, towerers, subconscious insecurities, and creating safety nets in which to catch each other's unexpected leaps of faith.  So back in the alley, Joseph has no clue that his caressing gesture of deepening affection and his comment about the softness of Annie's hair has blown his friend's mind in much the same way as my Mom's comments concerning changes, which had grown in importance to her, had blown my Dad's confidence.  I remember him saying:  Your mother's so feisty, I don't feel like 'the man' of the house, anymore.


When our minds are blown, basic instincts kick in, logic tunes out, and ...

The only brain signals left to 'speak' during times of emotional upheaval are: fight, flee, or freeze.  As you shall soon see, this Jack-in-the-box response is an aspect of reality that both genders would be wise to get a handle on—at every stage of life.


As Annie's mind will not conjure up THE LINE OF CONTROL until she's raising a family of her own, you'll witness lots of basic instincts leaping out between loved ones as my blog unfolds.  You see, emotion stuffed deep inside, does not disappear.  Emotion coils up.  And just like a fully cranked Jack in the box ...

As inner pressure builds and fully cranked minds burst open, there's no telling what may pop out of our mouths.

Therefore, if two fully cranked minds burst open, at once and if there's no telling what will pop out of two mouths—then it's smart to run for cover, because—you can bet your boots that Kettles, boiling over are bound to crash, head on, with Boiling Pots!


And it's really hard for people on both sides to heal (for real) from 3rd degree burns.

YIKES! 71

Oy!  I spent some time looking through drafts of posts, which I'd thought to have released.  While some were less consequential, others stated significant points.  So here's what I aim to do:  Every once in while, when I don't have time to write, I'll post one of these drafts ...


Every once in a while it seems as though blog spot has a mind of its own, and a post shows up in a different spot or more than once.  When I have time, I'll revamp this disorder of posts (which reminds me of the the disorder that takes place in our closets—and minds. 


As for now:  Next up is that post, which offers us a glimpse into my mom and dad.
If it showed up before, I may have re-edited it, thus adding significant points, once again.


PS  This week, Singapore popped up on our list of hits!

Hurray for growth!!

:-)

70 FIND POST ABOUT MOM AND DAD ...

Hmmmm—I wrote a post about my parents, which seems to be missing.  Hopefully it will turn up in 'drafts', and when it does, I'll be back ...  :-)

69 DUCKLINGS ALL IN A ROW

Make no mistake...the fact that one grows self aware does not suggest that excess baggage unloads all at once. Self awareness is an on-going path. And once on this path, it's wise to shed defensive layers, little by little, step by step. Otherwise, we might glance into a mirror and freak out upon catching a glimpse of inner furies staring back—daring us to acknowledge those times when we are kettles calling pots black


If we don't learn how and when to acknowledge fear and deposit anger in the proper place, we 'teach' small fry to toss around more litter than we know.


If ducklings instinctively waddle in line then families who follow this path of self awareness may be more apt to embrace insights into personal growth at earlier stages than ducklings whose role models unknowingly stunt their own growth by repeatedly knocking their heads into denial's invisible ceilings and walls.


In short, if you see behaviors in your kids that you're still blind to in yourself, not to worry.


Leopards can't change their spots, and Old dogs can't learn new tricks, but we, my friends, are people.

So as long as you're on this side of the grass then it's not too late to see something about yourself to which you've been blind, until now.

At every stage of life, 'youngsters', who watch their parents working to unload painful baggage, instead of tossing it indiscriminately around, are lucky ducks for many reasons, indeed. :-)