Saturday, April 9, 2022

ITS A SMALL SMALL WORLD

 Ever since hearing the sad news of Gerda’s passing, I’ve found myself drawn, day after day, to one video after another of Gerda’s charismatic delivery of her personal, heart wrenching experiences so inhumane as to see me utterly mesmerized by the dynamic strength of character necessary for Vivian’s mother to stand and speak from podiums throughout the world while quietly describing the enslaved, starved, broken hearted young girl she had been, who, having been brutalized within unbearable captivity by the Nazis for years, had endured a freezing death march of 350 miles, over three excruciating months, that saw only 120 women (of the thousands who had literally been walked to death), survive so as to find herself herded roughly into an empty factory where Gerda had known that the Nazis had planned to blow up these skeletal inmates—however—

Rather than having been murdered in cold blood as had been true of her beloved family, friends and millions of Jewish families across Europe, my friend Vivian’s beloved mother had been liberated by rainfall (defusing the bomb), followed by the arrival of a jeep in which two American soldiers had jumped out, one of whom had been so handsome as to have looked god-like to Gerda, who, having been unwashed for more than three years, could not believe her eyes when he’d, literally, opened the door, separating slavery from freedom as he invited emaciated twenty year old Gerda to precede him as she, ever so slowly, made her way forward toward liberation and life, and as months passed in which Kurt Klein fell in love with this 69 pound survivor of the Holocaust (perpetrated upon innocent people by a maniacal mind that had convinced countless men, women and children that torturing, murdering and stealing the belongings of Jewish families had need be done for the good of the tall, blond, blue eyed master race—to which dark haired, dark eyed, small in stature Adolph Hitler did not belong) Gerda Weissmann Klein, having found solace within the safe haven of her beloved husband Kurt’s loving embrace, became an openly loving wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother and an American citizen while she’d developed into a remarkable woman of valor, renown for having courageously dedicated her life to liberty, freedom and the pursuit of happiness for all of mankind, throughout the world in hopes that inhumane treatment concerning the elimination of human beings based in the Nazi’s devilish evil systematic organization of genocide would never be repeated

Thank goodness I can write what I feel, for this reason—Feeling my mind swelling with a soul stirring  reverential emotional reaction that proves so deeply heartfelt as to course throughout my entire body suggests that any attempt on my part to speak of Gerda’s harrowing experiences culminating in her courageous global leadership would render me speechless, for sure.

Had my grandparents (born and raised in Poland) not fled from pogroms (unprovoked mob attacks in which Jewish families were beaten, raped, killed and burned out), terrorizing my family’s shtetl (small town in which the Jewish population had been forced to live, most usually, in poverty), Gerda’s descriptions of murder, slavery. systematic starvation, death marches and the horrors of day to day survival in concentration camps scattered throughout Europe, could have been my own.

I remember feeling spellbound, my attention held utterly rapt, while listening to both of my grandmas relating the hellish personal stories of their youth.  As young mothers, they’d hidden with their terrified children in the bushes whenever the Cossacks, literally on horseback, galloped through the shtetl, crashing through their front doors, ransacking their meager belongings, followed by torching their homes for nothing other than mean minded pleasure derived from a sick sense of self empowerment over the downtrodden.

I remember my sense of horror upon hearing of my grandma’s kindhearted neighbor, who, while hiding her family in the bushes with my grandma’s family, had placed her hand over her crying child’s mouth only to find that once the rampage was over, her beloved child, whose terrified sobs had been stifled, had smothered and died in her deeply shocked, desperately bereaved mother’s lap.

Stories detailing my grandparents’ travails and tribulations. both in Europe and as penniless immigrants, newly arrived via steerage within the bowels of ocean-going, merchant vessels bound for the USA, can be found in posts penned early on within my blog.

Thank goodness, my inquisitive young mind had thought to ask my grandmas many questions, which saw my grandparents responses reaching into their memory banks so as to withdraw personal experiences so shocking as to have saddened the heart of the child at their knee (that would be me) immeasurably and thus, indelibly.

Thank goodness, my mother’s parents and my father’s parents had chosen to flee to The United States years before Hitler’s rise to power, as antisemitism proves as old as the historical timeline is long. 

Just today, I learned that, during recent years, my sister-in-law, Marian, had been the speech pathologist, who’d worked with several of Gerda’s great-grandsons in one of the states that borders my own.  Suggesting, yet again—It’s a small, small world, after all—and that’s especially true whenever Jewish geography comes into play.

👩🏻❤️Annie

Friday, April 8, 2022

THIS REMARKABLE WOMAN OF VALOR WILL BE SADLY MISSED

 The day before yesterday—Wednesday morning to be exact—I had been saddened to learn of the passing of renown humanitarian, Gerda Weissmann Klein, who’d lived to enrich the world with her presence for 97 years, and here is the letter that my heart wrote to her daughter and son-in-law, dear friends of ours for more than 46 years—


Dear Vivian and Jim,

When we heard that your beloved mother had passed, our hearts felt heavy, knowing that your sense of personal loss would be twofold as your mother had inspired a heartfelt sense of hope, imagination and optimism to ignite within your family as well as within the lives of millions of people throughout the world.


I believe that the moment your mother passed from this world into the great unknown, her beloved Kurt (whose loving attentiveness she had missed ever so deeply since your beloved father’s death) welcomed your mother to nestle as safely within his loving embrace as had been true ever since he was one of the young American soldiers, who had liberated the inmates of the concentration camp in which your emaciated , 20 year old mother had somehow managed to survive.


I am always wondrous about the fact that having experienced the miracle of liberation and Kurt's love, your mother’s strength of spirit had felt compelled to gift the world with voicing her harrowing experiences of survival in such an inclusive way as to have tenderly inspired many millions to re-ignite their heartfelt connection to hope and loving kindness for the good of humanity, no matter how desperate their plight, as none of us knows what miracle tomorrow may bring.


Gerda, who we knew as your beloved mother (and Will’s patient), was truly a living, breathing icon, whose loving, hopeful spirit will continue to guide humanity to believe that beyond our darkest days awaits a bright new dawning in which our far-fetched dreams can be realized as had come true for a young girl, who had been one of the few (of thousands) who had survived the Nazi’s 350 mile death march, though her entire family had perished in Auschwitz-Birkenau.  And yet, upon being liberated by a handsome young soldier, your mother, Gerda Weissmann, who'd been grievously starved and brutalized for years, had maintained a hopeful heart, embodying personal strengths to fall in love, raise her beloved children, pen her memoirs (All But My Life and more) followed by working with Steven Spielberg (their documentary of her life winning an academy award and an Emmy) as well as being selected (during Obama’s administration) as a recipient of The Presidential Medal of Freedom.  And I’m sure there are many more commendations of which I am unaware.  All within one lifetime.  All of which you know so well.  All being utterly incredible for me to conceive.


And now that your beloved family has had to part with your precious mother, my words, though heartfelt, cannot do justice to the magnificence of the legacy left by both of your parents’ strong spirits, though each time I’d absorbed your mother’s soft spoken words of hope for the future of mankind, I can attest to the fact that not an eye was dry throughout her audience, her capacity to relate personal experiences had been so deeply moving as to have inspired each of us to feel as if her enslaved survival within the camps followed by liberation and a lifetime of love could have been our own.


Throughout these past three years, my serious illness has separated us from most of our friends, suggesting that we four are, once again, over due to enjoy dinner, together.  And so, with thoughts of these many years of our friendship, it is our ‘hope’ to meet with both of you on the patio of a favorite restaurant, sometime soon.

 

And with hopes that you can truly feel all of the love, admiration and respect that we’re sending—

Here we see four generations of women, whose strong-spirited love of life, liberty, family, happiness and humanity could not be extinguished by the brutality of Hitler’s ‘Final Solution’ to rid the world of loving Jewish families.

I see your mom, Gerda Weissmann Klein on the left.  I see my dear friend’s vibrant smile on the far right.  And sitting between mother and daughter, I see one of your lovely daughters and her adorable daughter, one of your mom’s many great-grandchildren.


The captivating nature of this photo, capturing the sparkling vibrancy of all four of you, commemorates our classic, universal, timeless dedication to GOOD WINNING over evil, REPEATEDLY, throughout history, beginning with human life on Earth up to and inclusive of this very day.


Every thought conveyed,  above, reverberates through my heart as though a series of snapshots flashes before my eyes whenever your beloved mother comes to mind, because, being a woman of valor, she, though a Holocaust survivor, chose to enjoy a truly fruitful, remarkable life, resulting in the fact that all of her beloved children continue to thrive.

❤️Annie and Will

Thursday, April 7, 2022

A CLEAN SLATE UPON WHICH TO WRITE

Yesterday offered up sound reasons as to why a sense emotional conflict was mine.

On the one hand , Will and I had thoroughly enjoyed our kind-hearted, seven year old grand daughter, Ravi, after school.  Her high-spirited, positive focus offers both of us such a remarkable sense of delight!  Ravi breezed through her homework, after which she and I enjoyed cuddling up with storybooks about Passover, which stimulated her sense of disbelief to feel outraged at the brutal treatment of the Jewish slaves in biblical Egypt, followed by a serious discussion concerning the annual deletion of next week’s family Seder.

‘Will I be the only child at our Seder?”

“Yes.”

Can I invite a friend?”

“Of course.”

Then, a little later—

“Gramma, I’ve changed my mind.  I don’t mind being the only child at our Passover dinner.”

“Okay, Ravi, whatever feels best to you is what we’ll do.”

While discussing the meaning of Passover, power, slavery and the eternal struggle, throughout the world, to attain, regain and maintain our freedom from bullies arising within every next generation, Ravi’s eyes opened wide as she and I discussed the fact that people are being harmed, right now, in the Ukraine.

Then, our discussion turned to the freedom to think for ourselves in the USA, where everyone is free to choose the occupation and religion that feels most natural to an individual, or we can even choose the parts of each religion that makes us feel happy and peaceful, because religions are made up of beliefs. As that led Ravi to ask more questions about Passover, I added Easter into our discussion, since Ravi’s daddy is Jewish and her mommy is Christian.  At the conclusion of our discussion, Ravi decided that she’d like to choose the parts of both religions that made her feel happily content, and we agreed that that was a good choice for a seven year old child whose family is about to celebrate both Passover and Easter within the very same weekend.

After finishing her homework, Ravi was eager to decorate plastic eggs (which symbolize new life in both religions), and as these colorful eggs came apart, Ravi enjoyed filling each one with tiny treasures in hopes of delighting her besties with gifts she’d created  herself.

Once Steven arrived for dinner, we four laughed a lot while our son, who, years ago, had passed the bar in AZ and CA, described the ludicrous nature of an exam he had decided to take, this week.

Once Steven and Ravi left for home, Will and I turned on our TV in time to relax while watching last night’s  NBA basketball game.  So what, you might ask, had offered up reason for a sense of inner conflict to be mine after having enjoyed such a delightful afternoon with a child as sensitive, quick-witted and loving as is true of Ravi, followed by laughing throughout dinner with my beloved husband, Will and Steven—one of our kind, fun-loving, responsible sons who grew up to freely embrace so many of our values as to be one of our best friends—I mean, seriously—yesterday sure does sound like a swell day to me—right?

Well, what if I’ve only detailed one half of that which had made yesterday whole?  What if having expressed our delightful afternoon and dinner leaves yesterday morning a clean slate upon which to write that which had stirred a heartfelt sense of sadness within my mind.

👩🏻Annie

Tuesday, April 5, 2022

WITH THOUGHTS OF WELCOMING ELIJAH

 Here’s how I know a corner has been turned concerning one stage of healing passing the baton to the next:  This morning—tired as I continue to be—my think tank began to outline how best to organize a family Seder without taxing myself, over much.

The mere thought of my brain even thinking about creating a Seder for our loved ones suggests that my processor’s connection to resourcefulness is in working order for the first time in three years, being that three years ago, while attempting to enjoy springtime in Nashville with Will (and Mike and Simmy and their significant others), I’d felt need to spend more time in bed than not, based in the fact that my tumor had not yet been astutely diagnosed.

So, the fact that my think tank is able to even consider inviting Elijah to feast at our Passover table along with family and dear friends (dinner to be catered) is a change for the better worthy of notating as this is the day after my brain blew a fuse, suggesting, yet again—the surprising difference a day makes when an attitude of positive focus reins supreme once lethargy of spirit (not to be confused with feeling lackadaisical) has been hot wired to the miraculous nature of love’s magic spell as if last weekend’s festivities had jump-started my brain activity, which had lain fallow while all of my energy had need to direct itself toward healing from life-saving medical methods so extreme, over these past three years, as to have proved to be life threatening, several times, causing my survival instinct to depend upon the brilliance of medical innovations coupled with my spirit’s determination to fully embrace nothing less than my heartfelt capacity to bear whatever had been deemed necessary to recover from cancer so as to thrive within the midst of family and friends, whose heartfelt, unconditional love of life and each other mirrors mine.

In short, a reverential sense of hope occupies so much of my brain space that there is no place left for any thought that might even hint at empowering this lengthy illness to shorten my life.  The fact that my mother celebrated her 100th birthday may have strongly influenced the strength of my positively focused mindset concerning directing my energy toward refraining a full recovery so as to rejoice over the restoration of my happy, healthy, high-spirited life for many years to come.

And with the approach of holidays celebrating the blessed renewal of life, all that needs be added before this intuitive train of thought pulls into today’s rest station is—L’Chaim!  To Life!  Amen

🙋🏻‍♀️😊Annie

Monday, April 4, 2022

MY BRAIN BLEW A FUSE

 Happily exhausted.  It’s been ever so long since Will and I had enjoyed a simcha weekend (blessed celebration) with lots of people we love (outside), many of whom we’ve not seen in years.

On Saturday, while wearing a mask and with my salt’n pepper hair, I had to introduce myself to many members of my dear friend, Jill’s family with whom we’d enjoyed celebrating Jewish holidays beginning when David and his best friend, Adam (both 45 years old) were babies.  I really could have gone incognito, all day and evening.

Sunday, spent with Ravi, felt like another dream come true.  In addition to playing for hours with her bestie, Uncle David, Ravi was surprised to see my classic book collection of the stories of Heidi.  When Ravi asked me to tell her the story, she sat, eyes glued to mine, utterly rapt, while listening to seven year old Heidi’s trials, tribulations and kind-hearted adventures.  Ravi’s only interruptions occurred to ask meaningful questions, being that she and Heidi are the same age.  When I told my sweet grand daughter that I had the movie of Heidi (Shirley Temple version), she asked to see it, immediately. So, we’d cuddled on my bed (masked), where Ravi was so completely absorbed within the life of this remarkable little girl that she burst out crying when Aunt Didi stole Heidi from the Grandfather’s mountain hut, and then, Ravi burst into tears, again, when Fräulein Rottenmeier tried to sell Heidi to the Gypsies while we watched Heidi’s grandfather running despairingly through the streets calling out, “Heidi!  Where are you!  Heidi!  Heidi!”

Needless to say, I’d comforted my tearful grand daughter within my protective embrace while she’d held onto me, ever so tightly, until she’d felt reassured to hear that Heidi and Grandfather would soon be reunited, and both would enjoy a greater sense of loving happiness than either had ever experienced before, suggesting, yet again—all’s well that ends well.  

And in this way did our sensitive kind-hearted Ravi enjoy an emotion-filled afternoon at Gramma and Papa’s house (knowing that her beloved Uncle David planned to drive back to the West Coast, today).  So when Steven walked through our front door, late Sunday afternoon, Ravi was very glad to hear her daddy say that she could continue to enjoy herself as they were not heading home for awhile.

It’s been quiet, today, which is just what I need, so that’s good, indeed.  I’m so very tired that you might think the connection between my brain and my mouth blew a fuse, leaving my lips zipped with my tongue lying slack and utterly useless on the bottom of my lower jaw.🤐

At my age (and at this stage of my recovery from two bouts of chemo and three huge surgeries within a year’s time), my fatigue comes as no surprise—in fact, on day three. following two consecutive days of vibrant social interaction, I’m glad to know that my fingers, leaping all over my keyboard, are actually tapping the right letters, suggesting that the fuse connecting brain waves to finger tips is still intact.  Haha😄

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

Saturday, April 2, 2022

A THOROUGHLY DELIGHTFUL DAY

As I’ve been enjoying a truly delightful day with many loved ones (outside), I find myself much too weary to describe the joyous occasion that sees me in need of resting my body before dressing myself in finery in readiness for this evening’s outdoor festivities to begin.

Once my mind feels so relaxed as to pen a detailed description of today’s simcha (blessed occasion) without feeling taxed, the extraordinary nature of our love for Adam and Sami will surely pour forth so naturally and with so much warmth as to melt my heart with gratitude, being that Adam’s presence as the fourth ‘brother’ in our family of three sons has played an integral part of why so much has gone so smoothly for us, over these past three years, when our visits to Mayo Clinic came close to being a daily occurrence.

As for now—no buts about it—my wearied mind and body are walking my happy heart straight toward my bed.

🙋🏻‍♀️🥰🥱Annie

Friday, April 1, 2022

OY! UPON REVIEWING A POST PENNED SEVERAL YEARS BACK, GUESS WHAT I FOUND?

 OY!  UPON REVIEWING A POST PENNED SEVERAL YEARS BACK, GUESS WHAT I FOUND?

I found editing in serious need of doing, which I do not plan to tackle for this reason—Once I start with one post, my perfectionistic trait, which I work consciously to control, may compel me to edit ‘just one more post’. Followed by an unending string of ‘just one more post’ until my tendency toward perfection overwhelms the self disciplined portion of my brain by unleashing my addictive behavior to change whatever is within my power for the better.

If you ask how I know it’s in my best interest to invest my whole mind toward penning new posts, I’d sheepishly reply—If the truth be told, I’ve already edited post #306, which had popped up on my screen as an older post, recently read by a follower.  And having seen how much editing was needed, I’m actively muzzling my little voice that’s begging to scroll back so far as to check out every post, beginning with #1.

Oy gevalt!

See what I mean?

Please someone! 

Anyone!  

Help save me from myself!

🤦🏻‍♀️Annie