ARMY OF TINY VERMIN

As steroids accompany chemo, I experienced a cortisone high, earlier in the week.  Cleaned out my closet, and though my mind longs to de-clutter the laundry room counter, my body, having tired, is being bossy and won’t let me leave my bed, so while attending to my body’s need for rest, my proactive thought processor has set up its soap box in hopes of clarifying my position concerning our nation’s waining proclivity of civility— 

We who populate the world are very slowly absorbing the wisdom to share our planet with civility in hopes of protecting oneself and our loved ones from harm in a mutually peaceable manner, suggesting our need to acknowledge that, currently, the Covid virus is higher on the food chain than we are, and here’s why that’s true: Too many have not yet come to believe that medical scientists, working, day and night, have discovered an antibody that proves stronger than the Covid virus, which left on its own will continue to attack those whose eyes, ears and minds remain closed to universal need to vaccinate everyone against this heinously dangerous, invisible, public enemy #1.  And the fact that this virus is invisible makes me ask—what do the unmasked plan to do with their guns when our greatest common enemy is too small to see with our eyes?  And with that thought in mind, I hope those of you refusing vaccinations will consciously redirect your thoughts away from protecting your loved ones with holstered weapons in favor of rolling up your sleeves so as to ‘shoot to kill’ this tiny but mighty army of vermin that have killed millions of people in just one year’s time   ...

Seriously, Covid will win this war unless we set our sights upon eradicating this invisible army of vermin (just as Dr. Salk’s vaccine eradicated polio) before it can kill millions more of us! 👩🏻Annie

NEVER A DULL MOMENT—HITS AGAIN!

 Never a dull moment hits with solid impact, again!

Andi, my closest friend in Az for decades, has just been released from the hospital, having been admitted on Monday with difficulty breathing based in fluid filling her lungs.

Following a cardiac catheterization, Andi was diagnosed with heart failure, suggesting that the autonomic pumping mechanism of her heart had weakened, causing blood, pumped into her lungs (for oxygenation ), to pool.  In a valiant attempt to pump harder, Andi’s heart enlarged.

This did not happen in AZ.  Over these past two weeks, Andi and Michael have been in Philly, celebrating their grand daughter’s Bat Mitzvah.  Thank goodness, Andi’s medical emergency did not happen until after her family’s deeply meaningful, joyous occasion had taken place.

As Andi’s lungs are free of fluid—thanks to medication born of modern medicine—another episode will be prevented, freeing our treasured friends to fly back to the southwest, tomorrow. An appointment with a cardiologist has been scheduled for Tuesday, and during our FaceTime call, this afternoon, Andi said that upon their arrival, she plans to spend the up-coming week resting right next to me on my bed.

At this late stage of life, in addition to maintaining our hearts’ ability to pump oxygenated blood throughout our bodies, our heartfelt strength of spirit must consciously pump our minds full of courage each time reality offers us sound reason to face the fact that inevitably, everyone will experience irreplaceable losses closing in, one after another—but—not yet—please—not yet ...

Annie

YESTERDAY’S EMAIL SENT TO MY DEAR FRIEND, MERLE

Dearest Merle (another beloved college friend, who has lived in San Diego since we were in our twenties)

I love the photo you emailed of your nearest and dearest taken on your birthday, (which will be complete when Scott and Stephanie drive down to celebrate Mother’s Day with all of you).

 Regardless of highly personal mistakes we ALL made during each of our young (inexperienced) parenting years, with our grasp of personal growth necessary to on-going character development, we both chose to embrace the humility to hold ourselves accountable for creating changes for the better, which is why our beloved sons and grandkids shower us with the abundance of love and respect, which, as aging adults, we need and crave as much, today, as our children had those needs when none of their parents had a clue that in the absence of mutual respect, love becomes a hollow vessel that springs so many leaks when remaining in disrepair as to require astute professional help to encourage each of us to work toward healing holes drilled into our hearts (during angry, insulting confrontations), until our hearts, serving as vessels meant to nourish each other, respectfully, never again fear hollowing out once ‘lasting love’ feels so fluid as to flow, naturally, back and forth, as we grow ever more mindful of the importance of developing a deeply connective sense of mutual trust, which proves to be a natural by-product of consciously setting a high value on self awareness so as to line each other’s hearts, minds and spirits with soothing layers of mutually respectful word choices each time a conflict erupts, which proves in need of calm, clear, logical decision making skills, passed forward in a gentle, kind and thus compassionate manner of speaking from parent to child—and then, as time passes and our children feel the need to parent us during our declining years, we find ourselves being spoon fed (and hopefully nurtured by) whatever we’d fed to them during their youth!  Why?  Because common sense tells us that classically, whatever goes around comes around ...

And as your family, likened to mine, has chosen to embrace the humility to value forgiveness of personal mistakes made in the past, let’s rejoice, together, over leaps of faith that we have taken, leaving defensive reactions behind in favor of choosing to discuss family conflicts (which surely arise in home after home) so calmly as to brainstorm collectively toward realistic solutions that respectfully consider everyone’s needs.

Hooray for working toward developing positive changes in your style of communication within your family!

And

Hooray for mine!

As to our friendship of over sixty years, my love and respect for the dynamic, kind hearted person you consciously choose to be has no bounds! And just as I’ve always treasured you, naturally, Merle, I’ve come to treasure your wonderful Mack, as well.

Please know full well that I’m planning to lick this tumor as one would lick a postage stamp and address this illness with such inner strength as to proactively send it flying into outer space so far away from my body as to never threaten to end my love of life prematurely by attacking my healthy cells, ever again!

🙋🏻‍♀️❤️❌⭕️☀️

PS today is my second Chemo treatment—four more to go before a second lung surgery will be scheduled, this summer, in AZ.  While being infused at Mayo on Tuesdays, I’ll continue to attend a weekly Shakespeare class on my iPad via zoom (with fourteen others, who tune in from various states throughout the USA, including our mutual friend of six decades, Michael S.).  And I really think you’d contribute to and fully enjoy our lively discussions as much as Michael and I do!  If you and or Mack are interested, I’ll send you the contact info necessary to participate in our up coming discussions of King Henry V. It’s amazing how much political intrigue has NOT changed for the better between 1421 and 2021.  I believe that sharing this lively, mentally stimulating weekly experience would be such fun to enjoy, together!

🙋🏻‍♀️😊❤️Annie

NO RED DEVIL THIS TIME ROUND .....

 I can’t help but wonder why three times as many people, currently living in Italy, follow my daily posts than do people, currently living in the USA.

Perhaps ‘word of mouth’ is the answer to today’s question, which tends to arouse my curiosity at least once every week .., 

And now that it’s time to leave for my weekly chemo treatment, which, will be comprised of a double whammy of meds in bags, hanging on hooks attached to the top of a pole several feet above my head so that carefully stabilized portions of cortisone and Compazine can drip through tubes into my blood stream ever so slowly via my power port (which was surgically implanted under the skin on the right side of my chest the Friday after Thanksgiving in late November, 2019, in readiness for my first (of three in-patient) 5 day, 24 hour infusions of ‘The Red Devil’, which, following that first 5 day hospitalization came so close to knocking out my 76 year old lights (while barely attacking the tumor) that the only word uttered when current discussion arises of repeating a protocol as punitive as that one proved to be is ‘No! Never! Not!’ (Which happens to be the title of a children’s picture book authored—though not yet published—with my writing partner, Catherine, about a child whose temper is in need of taming just as this second tumor proves in need of eradicating—ASAP.

And just as your curiosity may be aroused by my mention of a tried and true, sure fire plan that tames every temper in the family so as to jump start a peaceful co-existence by calming emotional outbursts before hurtful insults, flying back and forth, shatter all chance of everyone gaining conflict resolution skills, which have need to be mindfully absorbed by the thought processors of good people of every age.

So guess what just popped out of my processor while penning this post?  An ‘if/then’ proposition that goes like this—if you’ll fill the comment box with the main reason you choose to follow my daily posts then I’ll post the story of No! Never! Not! (which proved to be an exclamation uttered by a small but powerful boy in defiance of his mother’s insistence that he control his behavior whenever conflicts arose within their family in hopes that verbal disagreements would stop running wild, back and forth, as quick to anger tongues flung infuriated curve balls into each other’s battered ears ...  ‘Enough!  Enough! Enough!’ yells the mom or dad who insists upon a deeply loved child to stop yelling, right now!  (Hey—doth my power of intuitive thought sense a pattern of ‘flying off the handle’ being passed down from parent to child, who naturally learns by—mimicking?  And might this same, quick to tantrum child begin to mimic consistent change the better on the part of the parent, whose growing sense of self-awareness begins to replace yelling with verbal calming techniques—over time?

Annie (and Catherine)

SUNDAY FUN DAY—UNTIL ...

I’m so glad to know that Spring has sprung throughout the nation. Nothing lifts my spirit more quickly than swaying back and forth on our patio swing while gazing across the expanse of a sun kissed, azure blue sky with loved ones, gathered peacefully at my side.

On Friday and Saturday, my niece, Jessica, being fully vaccinated, was welcomed with a heartfelt hug into our home for the first time in more than a year.

In addition to beautiful weather, Sunday offered up such a wonderful family day that for hours at a stretch, I’d felt so happy as to forget cancer and chemo looming overhead with another serious surgery and lengthy recovery to follow..

My sister brought her friend Madalyn’s air fryer to our house to demonstrate (like an infomercial on TV) the ease and speed with which shrimp, chicken, and freshly chopped broccoli, cauliflower, brusselsprouts and string beans are prepared—all of which tasted so delicious (having been salt, peppered and spiced) that microwave cooking was put to shame.  As to cleaning up, that was as surprisingly quick and easy as preparing this healthy, savory meal (which having served seven of us) had proved to be.

Steven and Ravi joined us at about 5pm, and as always, their arrival made my heart sing with gladness—the fun began with our young, animated stylist/make-up artist applying sparkling color to Lauren’s face, mine and her own.

Being that Sunday is a school night, Steven and Ravi left for home at 8pm while David, Will and I continued to enjoy Lauren and Michael until about 10pm, as no one wanted to say goodbye.  They fly home, today.

Right after their leave-taking, last night, our doorbell rang.  Their rental car had a flat. Michael spent the next hour on the phone dealing with that frustration after which our conversation (while awaiting the arrival of roadside service) revolved around various rental car ‘calamities’, being that, on Saturday, a stone, striking their windshield, caused an ‘S’ shaped crack to form, which, throughout the weekend, expanded from an inch to more than three feet in length causing them to wonder if the whole window might shatter before the rental from hell was returned.  And as the tire could not be repaired (and as Michael had refused the rental company’s insurance plan (at $27 a day), it’s likely that the rental company will charge Michael an arm and a leg for a new tire—thus did a wonderful day end up going sideways, reminding us to consciously cherish every peaceful moment when life is going well, all around.

Lauren’s friend, Madalyn, is an upbeat first grade teacher whose offer to tutor Ravi, this summer (so that our precious grand daughter’s less-than-pleasurable experience with virtual schooling, throughout kindergarten, will change for the better (before first grade starts in August) is deeply appreciated in hopes of re-igniting Ravi’s quick-witted, natural eagerness to absorb every aspect of learning that’s presented by a patient professional as an adventurous challenge (rather than a boring chore, dragging on for hours, day after day)..

No doubt, the rest of my day will be spent resting unless I’m taking very short walks with Will and David, attesting to the fact that these past five days, enjoyed to the fullest with extended family, proved simultaneously entertaining, spiritually re-energizing and exhausting.

In hopes of ending this text on an up note—this past week proved, yet again, that the best medicine ever is love combined with laughter, which feels mutually nourishing whenever by-gones are truly forgiven, releasing a heartfelt connection that bubbles up so freely as to flow, back and forth, in a naturally nurturing fashion, all round.

Annie

NEVER GIVE UP WINS, YET AGAIN!

 Aha!  Success!

The first photo shows my new ‘do’

The second shows Ravi’s delight matching mine, the first time we’d gleefully hugged each other after a year of blowing kisses, back and forth, through the glass of my Arcadia door ... (pre hair color)

NULL???

So what’s up with the word ‘null’ appearing at the end of yesterdays’s post?

Though a photo was supposed to appear, ‘null’ appeared instead ...

Ever since Blogspot was updated, I’ve yet to figure out how to post photos.

As you know, I do not give up, easily ... 

Annie