ANGLE OF REPOSE AND PROOF OF ANGELS EXISTING ON PLANET EARTH

Today, a person on Facebook expressed frustration with people being judgmental when someone has a legitimate reason for not getting the Covid vaccine. She believes she should not feel obligated to share all of her medical history to explain her reason to others, and with respect for her opinion, I’d like to offer up another option that deepens my sense of peace.

Having changed her name, I offered a gentle response to someone I’ve yet to meet in hopes of soothing her frustration as seen below:

Hi Linda,  In respectful response to your post—my name is Heidi, and I hope you’ll consider a reaction that calms my frustration immensely whenever I’m feeling misjudged.

Though I’d once felt defensive, here’s why I’ve chosen to retire that automatic reaction in favor of consciously embracing an attitude of patience associated with brotherhood before I respond.  You see, each time I choose to kindly and briefly make others aware of an affliction that cannot be seen at a glance, my gentle reply inspires judgement to transform into compassionate contemplation, culminating in a sense of friendliness springing forth so naturally on both sides as to connect two hearts within a caring state of repose for this reason: Whenever I choose to respond with heartfelt kindness, peace of mind is mine, and peace of mind calls forth my smile, and as smiles prove more contagious than most people realize, the preservation of my personal sense of peace empowers me to melt judgement calls proactively by way of expanding the mindset of another, most every time. And if sparking a mutual sense of understanding does not take place, I leave the conversation with dignity, self respect and peace of mind intact.🙋🏻‍♀️🥰 

Another person’s reply to the original post (penned by an ER doc in hopes of educating the general populous as to why vaccination proves vital) addressed irritation upon receiving calls from grieving relatives of patients who had succumbed to Covid, inspired me to reply—

Hi Melanie, I hope you won’t mind my suggesting that people calling about the death of loved ones hope to inspire you to help to slow this pandemic from taking more lives based in how many millions of people ignore the wisdom of scientists inclusive of doctors, who chose to study medicine, day and night, for many years while others of their age were partying rather than stretching their brains to absorb vast amounts of scientific facts, which prove necessary to preserve the good health of millions of people, throughout the world, every day.

As a twenty two year old bride, I marveled at the grueling hours my husband, a young medical student, felt driven to endure, eyes glued to medical tomes, every night, extending years of education through additional years of residency to ensure that his patients would receive only the very best of care in hopes of his thirst for knowledge proving capable of curing his patients, felled by illness, whose desire to enjoy a long, healthy life was as heartfelt as yours and mine. On the rare occasion when a patient succumbed to death, or an amputation proved necessary to save a child’s life, my husband would walk into our home, his spirit heavy at the end of each of those grievous days, his face looking haggard and gray, so deeply had this man of medicine exhausted his mental energies in hopes of enabling his patients to extend and enjoy their lives or save their limbs from strains of illness, more numerous than you and can possibly imagine  ... so I hope you’ll reconsider the calls you receive and the pleas of exhausted medical professionals, being that, over these last 54 years of marriage, I have personally witnessed at least one true life-saving angel, whose personal calling drew my boyfriend, during college, toward offering his utmost best, day in and day out, throughout each stage of our lives, in hopes of saving human lives however possible on planet Earth.

PS—In addition to sharing my life with a surgeon on a mission, I am also called Aunt Annie by the ER doc mentioned above.

In addition to publishing papers professionally, this ER physician writes of his professional knowledge and personal experiences concerning Covid on Facebook, pretty much, every day, in hopes of inspiring thousands of strangers to see him as a friend whose opinions concerning our need to work together in hopes of saving millions of lives are based in scientific facts that prove heartfelt in nature..

In addition to attending to the needs of others in the ER for many hours, daily, during this difficult time of Covid, my nephew’s wife, the mother of his four precious children, has just endured several months of chemo with surgery scheduled, next month, after her body recovers from infusions of harsh, life saving meds, discovered in labs (just as with Covid vaccines), so that my precious niece can continue to guide her children toward adulthood neath their mother’s loving wing) ...

So, please, let’s all consider the vital importance of following the advice of thousands of physicians and nurses and hospital staff, who are fully committed to offer each of us sound reason to be proactively well informed about preserving our good health in hopes of extending the length of our lives.

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

HEIGHTENED SELF AWARENESS KINDLES WINTER WARMTH

In response to having received a beautiful poem about winter penned, earlier this week (by the very first new friend I made on our very first day of High school when we sat next to each other, during first period, freshman English), here is my reply🙋🏻‍♀️❤️

Though I always hope

Your Midwestern winter

Will remain mild

Common sense

Suggests that

Snow will soon fall

Transforming your

Landscape of greenery into

Glistening white unless

Temperatures drop

Below freezing

At which time

Snow will turn to ice

Until a sunny day dawns

Calling upon you to

Come out to play before

Skating on ice melts into

Slush which soon

Turns as gray as

Does the blue of

The sky once

The sun decides to

Play hide and seek behind

Spring’s rainy days

But wait—please

Press pause because

I’m getting way ahead of

Where we are, right now—

Welcoming holidays

And a New Year offering

Each of us hope that

Change for the better

Concerning Covid and

Leadership are just

Round the bend—the first

Having been aggressive

Because the latter

Has been

Non existent during

One of the most

Devastating years ever

Faced by our nation

Which is why

In hopes of embracing

Change for the better

Sooner rather than later

We’d best take

One step forward after

Another while

Your future and mine

Continue to unfold

Just as always—

One day at a time

With spirits refueled by

Hearts filled with

So much love as

To see each of us

Become ever more

Mindful of

Kindling kindness

Wherever we go

🙋🏻‍♀️❤️❌⭕️

BIOPSY REPORT

Wednesday morning—

Matthew, my Midwestern nephew, and his wife, Melissa, FaceTimed us, so their boys could thank us for their Hanukkah presents—they’re SO adorable!  Jordan (3) sang Oh Hanukkah for us followed by Josh (5) closing their show by being the loudest clapper ever in the whole wide world!  Too funny!

Other than having been thoroughly entertained by this pair of munchkins, I chose to spend most of yesterday, cocooned, as most of the previous night had seen my ‘safe bubble’ of numbness holding strong emotion at bay until my sensitivity to inner tension filtering through my pores led me to experience a wakefulness too fidgety to fall asleep, even when aided by Ambien.

Then last night, thinking to hit the hay and sleep well, I surprised myself by feeling more awake than any night following in the wake of last week’s biopsy.

As to Will, he’d stuffed lots of apprehension behind his poker face, because, having read the biopsy report, aloud, my stoic husband and then, David, burst into tears while I, sitting quietly atop the comforter on our king size bed, observed the spontaneity of their emotional reactions though mine went unrevealed—even to me.  You see, it matters not how much we believed the tumor and all of the misery associated with its cure would not repeat—seriously, after experiencing this last year, any chance of my reliving chemo, surgery and another recovery before my bout with this one is complete, was actually more terrifying than I’d allowed myself to feel until my denial of repressed tension proceeded to seep out of my subconscious, two nights running.

I still don’t want to talk about the results, positive as they proved to be—in fact, while writing this post, I’m experiencing the release of deeply suppressed, tightly coiled tension, which, though healthy over the long run, does not feel good in real time, being that this fidgety release of emotional distress directly opposes the preservation of peacefulness, which, as you know, I strive to maintain, day after day.

Late on Tuesday, just before my biopsy report was received on Will’s iPhone and mine (via Mayo’s app) I wondered why—if no one has a clue as to how the original tumor began to grow inside me, why couldn’t it be likely that another one is doing that very same thing, right now.  Pow! That boulder, landing smack in the middle of my forehead, fired up a headache so heart stopping that my advanced degree of self control could not quell pain pounding away inside my brain until Will and David, appearing in my bedroom, simultaneously, saw David (now standing frozen in place) staring at Will while we both watched my husband advance toward my side of our king size bed with cell phone in hand until his voice, slicing through the silence hanging heavy in the air, was heard to say—OMG! Several times before he began to recite my biopsy report aloud from beginning to end at which point his reaction poured forth from his depths on a natural flood of tears.  And though I’d hoped to join my husband and then our son by releasing suppressed emotion on an unexpected rush of tears streaming down my face, my fear was still so solidly blocked from conscious recognition as to have remained consolidated within the state of mental constipation.

Once we three had absorbed the fact that I’d tested cancer free, both David and I strongly suggested that the next time Will reads a medical evaluation aloud, he not gasp, followed by solemnly exclaiming, several times—OMG! before signaling us of good news rather than bad since his initial reaction scared the positive focus of hope out of both of us.

Yesterday’s appointment with my cardiologist at Mayo went well, as she answered several questions concerning my blood pressure plunging upon standing as well as offering me sound reason for the lagging nature of my physical energy—the former prompting her to advise me to up my intake of fluids to ten 8oz cups, every day, while wearing compression pantyhose—the latter prompting her to jot down an order for additional blood tests followed by suggesting that as my heart is not yet pumping blood as vigorously as had been true, pre-surgery, I need to increase the frequency of walks around my house and on my patio until threat of Covid has passed, releasing me to engage with a physical therapist.

More when next we meet, as I still feel emotionally drained, though mental numbness is waining, today.

On an up note that I can feel, David just offered my spirit reason to laugh aloud by sauntering into my room, having exchanged his short, scruffy homegrown Covid beard for a freshly shaved face with handle bar mustache tickling my funny bone as well as his nose—definitely a first in our family—not the mustache but rather the handlebar aspect of it.

During this time of mindfully connecting the uncoiling of repressed tension, Covid vaccine distribution and discharging the most dishonorable, forked tongued, deplorable President ever elected by the people of The United States of America—our nation, though stubbornly divided, is about to round the corner where the light at the end of the tunnel, held high within the hand of sane leadership, is bound to beckon brightly to the intelligence of more people than ever before suggesting that though the climb toward the summit of peace of mind may prove jaggedly steep, our national government’s division of power is, once again, on its way toward refortifying its sense of balance, politically, and with today’s intuitive train of thought in mind, common sense suggests the best is yet to come, individually!🙋🏻‍♀️❣️

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie

Thursday—

Good morning,

I’ve come to believe that observers, whose loved one has been blessed with good news after experiencing a lengthy life-threatening illness simmering within a briny broth of unbearable physical miseries, assume that worrisome fears, deeply repressed, simply emerge and pop like a hot air ballon, releasing tinsel-like fairy dust, overhead, as if life’s greatest strifes stride straight toward happily ever endings as with animated Pixar cartoons, when deeper truth suggests that today’s bout with emotional exhaustion having bared repressed layers of fear, see my brave smile relaxing so completely thanks to this week’s biopsy report offering words of relief, freeing my staunch shield of inner strength to experience a melt down so as to completely expose my naked vulnerability, at last—to myself.  And if you choose to seek me out, today, here is what you’ll find—a puddled version of the strong spirited person you (and I) believe me to be, who feeling free of deeply worried tension, long repressed, has need to do little more than ask bravery to sit quietly in a time out chair, releasing all of me to fully experience this emotional melt down, long coming.

So while I still feel too emotionally drained to discuss or rejoice over news of the biopsy’s being benign, upon resting with sufficiency, I’ll bet my readiness to celebrate will reawaken, naturally, given time to reorient my well practiced, self disciplined peace of mind, which continues to serve me well by holding hysteria at bay until the nerve wracking reality of undergoing each test for sarcoma offers yet another cancer free report.

As for now, I truly appreciate your patience with the ramblings of my mind, being that the more I write, the more I come to understand myself in depth, and the more completely self awareness comprehends the complexity of natural reactions handled by my processor, the more deeply I come to understand the nature of defensive reactions, which proving classic and universal, the world over, better my capacity to embrace both sides of human nature pre-programmed to interact together as would a complex machine that’s in need of resolving the timeless puzzle of piecing together contradictory traits that create the whole of each human being.

As I’d felt numb when Will and then David broke down, my stoic reaction seemed little more than weirdly observant of theirs ... however, now that my intuitive understanding of emotional complexity has re-emerged, my intelligent thought processor has switched tracks from seeing my initial response as ‘weird’ to identifying my naturally well trained self defensive’ peacefulness as having maintained a lack of outward reaction by unconsciously retaining my wall of denial, which had served me well while securing spiraling emotions from springing forth from subconscious storage so as to stop the conscious portion of my mind from spinning beyond self control, and having acknowledged that my self protective wall of denial, which having done its job well under pressure, has need of time to slough away, layer by layer, each of which had been erected, over more than a year’s time, this process of sloughing will continue to take place, naturally, for as long it takes to reveal my personal sense of relief, and thus will I be seen wobbling around our home as though my mind is self repairing from having wandered, ever more deeply into and throughout every harried, heavily medicated, semi drunken, hazy stage of Cancerland, where. though  buoyed by love, times exist when the person, being struck, repeatedly, by misery while walking through a lightening storm, can’t help but feel utterly dazed, crazed and alone until the Herculean weight of physical misery endured, repeatedly, eases up, little by little, so that having pocketed the magic of resilience, my half full cup begins to overflow, yet again, with courage born of positively focused, emotional balance re-energizing heartfelt leaps of faith grounded in boundless sensations of gratitude and love, which inspire the human spirit to soar so high through a blue, sunlit sky as to leave Cancerland buried in yesterday’s dust so bright doth the future, fueled by joy, feel, through and through—not there yet. but with clarity intact, that’s where I’m heading-yes-siree-bob!

🙋🏻‍♀️🧚‍♀️Annie

PS

Has it dawned on you that Cancerland resembles Candyland in that you can be only a step or so from achieving your heartfelt goal when the card you’re dealt sends your valiant piece/peace careening all the way down the board ... during their childhood, my sons never suspected how often their Mom sat on certain cards in hopes of bringing the most boring game in the world to a timely end so as not to lose my mind—so often did my trio of munchkins ask to play, again 🙋🏻‍♀️😊

FROM HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON THANKSGIVING TO HAPPY CHANUKAH!

From our quarantined home to yours, Will and I wish you and yours a happy, healthy Chanukah with all of its festive trimmings!  Thank goodness, next year will prove better once a vaccine frees us from feeling need to remain as caged as we do in hopes of preserving our personal sense of safety, today.

And along with sending our best wishes to all of you, let’s wish Ravi a very happy sixth birthday (celebrated on Thanksgiving Day) while her lighthearted spirit literally jumps for joy on her brand new trampoline (A cautionary note to adults—as your lively spirit is likely to disbelieve that your limbs are not nearly as supple as is true of your kids—if you must bounce on a trampoline, please bounce with caution so as not to end up in the ER as did a dear friend’s daughter with knee surgery and a cast to follow ... ) 🙋🏻‍♀️Gramma Annie

MORE THAN ONE KIND OF CLOSET CLEANING EXISTS

Copied below you’ll find a text sent (yesterday) to one of my high school friends with whom I became so close in college that she has chosen to touch base with me, more than once, daily, ever since my tumor was correctly diagnosed—

Dearest Susan,

I know you’ll be happy to hear that last week’s biopsy has not increased my current level of pain.  In fact, I believe my relief at having that procedure behind me re-fueled my spirit, re-energizing me mentally and physically in short spurts, because upon our return from Mayo instead of lying down, I surprised myself by cleaning out my closet, followed by resting for a couple of hours before re-organizing my collection of shoes, and having completed that task, I counted more than 20 pairs, which, along with quite a few blouses and tee shirts are now boxed awaiting Cath’s arrival from CA, later in the month, as my young friend (Barry’s classmate in high school) plans to celebrate Xmas with her family in town.  

No doubt, Cath’s enthusiasm to enjoy a patio visit initiated my zest for closet cleaning, knowing her eagerness to receive much of what I choose to discard so as to space out clothing still hanging too tightly compressed together on bars, while my drawers, over stuffed with neatly folded intimate garments, offer the pack rat in me space in which to accumulate far too many choices, and whatever Cath leaves behind is donated to the woman’s shelter that I’ve come to favor most of all, so each time my neat nut floods with need to creat space to breathe within my closet, everyone wins excepting the pack rat, who’s forever in need of disciplining, because, if the truth be told, my traditional taste in clothing dictates purchases resembling everything I already have with this caveat—whatever I buy is based in a shade of color not yet owned as if an inner need to complete a rainbow of blouses and tees, all of which can be seen neatly folded in dresser drawers or hanging, colored coded, on bars extending along the walls of my closet, which is by no means small.

At any rate, the fact that re-ignited energy spurts resulted in spontaneous productivity delighted the control freak, who has had no choice, during this time of Covid, other than submitting to going underground, offering the rest of me to quarantine peacefully regardless of the fact that I, devoid of energy, feel so deeply appreciative of everything Will has taken on so graciously that my pechance for both neatness and cleanliness throughout every inch of my home has been on hiatus, with no end of messiness in sight ... why messiness?  Oftentimes, my energy lapses so completely that I literally drop whatever I’m doing or holding on the spot, knowing that with only seconds to spare, I’ll barely make it to the closest chair, couch or bed before sinking straight to the floor, and wherever whatever drops out of my hand stays put, sometimes for weeks, which is why I found these most recent short lived, bursts of energy highly pleasing to say the least.

Tomorrow, Steven and Ravi plan to come over (after our family zooms the Cardinal game) in celebration of two joyful events.  In addition to a redo of my b/d (a Nothing Bundt Cakes delivery arrived, today), we’ll also wholeheartedly enjoy a Chanukah party with latkes, candle lighting, singing, Dreydls, gift giving and window decorations, which Ravi will love taping to the glass panels on her side of our Arcadia doors.  (Why my birthday do over?  Well—actually, my awareness of personal need for diplomacy respects certain aspects of family privacy, so being protective of an extended relationship, which most often feels like a house of cards, that’s all I’ll pen about that.)

Today, having placed my pack rat in time out, I decided that a second quick run through of blouses and tops, still crowded together inside my closet, was in order, followed by resting up for tomorrow’s celebrations, both of which will keep my mind happily occupied, and hopefully, Monday will pass uneventfully until results of my biopsy have been released and received on Tuesday at which time a shadowy cloudiness hanging overhead, will see me ‘walking the walk’ holding hands with courage while thanking my creative processor for sweetening whatever may taste too bitter to swallow, yet again.

Hopefully, your rain storm has passed, offering you and Ro some time this weekend to enjoy Chanukah ala Covid with your precious family on your back porch until your masked grandkids are seen chattering, being that the temp in the Midwest has dropped into the 30’s.

Stay safe, dear friend, and feel my love and warm hugs holding you close,

👩🏻❤️😘Annie

SEVEN SECRETS HARBORED CONCERNING PEARL HARBOR ATTACK

First off, with so much on my mind, I apologize for having forgotten to publish this post containing seven secrets concerning the bombing of Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7th, two years before my birth.

Secondly, yesterday’s CT biopsy went well with little added discomfort to follow—we expect to receive results on Tuesday.  And now, without further delay, let’s dive right into deeply intriguing, little known information retrieved upon googling—HISTORY ON THE NET

Pearl Harbor Facts: 7 Things You Never Knew About the Attack

History » World War Two » Pearl Harbor» Pearl Harbor Facts: 7 Things You Never Knew About the Attack

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The attack of December 7, 1941 is one of the best-studied events of the 20th century. Yet there are many Pearl Harbor facts that remain largely unknown. Below is listed seven Pearl Harbor facts that you likely didn’t know.

The White House decoded a Japanese war declaration the day before Pearl Harbor

Japan sent a message to its embassy on December 6th to inform diplomats to prepare for a declaration of war. The White House intercepted the message and decoded it, but FDR did not warn his command at Pearl Harbor.

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Since 1897, America had a plan to impede Japanese power 

First conceived as early as 1897, America’s contingency plan for the rise of Japan as a modern military power was named War Plan Orange. The plan was updated on a regular basis to reflect the size of US and Japanese fleets.

The Pacific Fleet moved to Pearl Harbor for protection 

Admiral Richardson moved his Pacific Fleet to Pearl Harbor because he believed that the shallow water would protect ships from aerial torpedo attacks.

FDR’s Chief of Naval operations told him not to believe rumors of a Japanese attack 

Rumors about a Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor circulated for months. FDR was warned on several occasions, even by the British Navy, about the vulnerability of Pearl Harbor. He chose, instead, to listen to his chief of Naval operations and ignore the threat.

An American Newspaper helped provoke the Japanese 

On October 31st, United States News (the predecessor of U.S. News and World Report), printed a spread that showed how easy it would be for United States B-17 bombers to blow Japan off the map.

FDR made Admiral Kimmel the scapegoat 

Admiral Kimmel, who had taken charge of Pearl Harbor, repeatedly warned FDR of a possible attack. FDR did not share the decoded Japanese threat with Kimmel, but instead eventually demoted him.

Japan Almost Seized Hawaii 

Admiral Chuichi Nagumo failed to launch a third wave to destroy oil tanks and dry docks; if Japan launched the third wave, they would have captured the islands. The US began to issue currency stamped “HAWAII” to servicemen in Oahu so the Japanese could not spend it elsewhere in case they did capture the islands.

This article on Pearl Harbor facts is part of our larger selection of posts about the Pearl Harbor attack. To learn more, click here for our comprehensive guide to Pearl Harbor.

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This article is from the book Operation Snow: How a Soviet Mole in FDR’s White House Triggered Pearl Harbor © 2012 by John Koster. To uncover more of the secrets, spies, and shockers that surrounded the events of Pearl Harbor, buy a copy of Operation Snow. You can visit its sales page at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

THE MIRACLE OF LIGHTS

We’re off to Mayo; it’s 8:30AM on

A beautiful, bright, sunny day

Biopsy scheduled for 10:30AM

With no clue as to how long

This procedure will take

We were told that in its aftermath

I’ll most likely spend

Four hours in recovery

And as you now know

As much as we do

I’ll end today’s post on

An up note by releasing

My spirit’s positive energy to

Say:  What better time

Could possibly exist for

A biopsy to result in

Naught of any

Serious concern than

During our Festival of Lights

Also known as

The Miracle of Chanukah!

And with that positively

Focused thought in mind, which

Shall be your choice?

Latkes with sour cream or

Latkes sweetened with applesauce

And with the prep team

At Mayo awaiting our arrival

Please stay safe until

We’re able to happily seek

Each other out—

Hopefully, tomorrow

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie