1364 ACCEPTING THAT WHICH I CANNOT CHANGE FOR THE BETTER

Knowing that new questions, concerning conflicts
Are sure to emerge, over time

I muster patience with today's puzzlements until
Insight into understanding emerges 'tomorrow'

And knowing that answers to questions tend to
Clarify in their own good time

I work in the meantime to change what I can ...

To accept whatever remains beyond my control

And while learning to differentiate between

That which I can change and that which

Remains beyond my reach

I join a yoga class led by The Dalai Lama, who
Is likely to smile serenely while asking:
Can you define how spirituality affects your life?
Ohmmmm ...

1363 KNOW THYSELF AS DETERMINED OR RELENTLESS

At times, my goal-oriented, decision-making process gives me reason to wonder:
Am I astutely determined or blindly relentless?

If you've ever had cause to wonder about
The difference between the two, you get what I mean ...

So right off the bat, let's invite intuition to clarify the answer to that question:
I am determined, not relentless

If you ask:  How did you determine yourself not relentless?
Let's see if intuitive thought fires off a string of insights in reply:

Whereas a relentless position is based in a ramrod attitude that barrels blindly over
The needs of those who stand in the way of a narcissistic goal ...

Determination to achieve heartfelt goals does not allow blind ambition to
Block my sense of conscious awareness from making sound use of my noodle ...

Though a relentless attitude is based in closed mindedness, which
Being purely emotionally driven, remains stubbornly self serving ...

A determined attitude thinks to lace emotion with insight-driven trains of
Logical thought, fueling a balanced approach toward achieving heartfelt goals

If you ask:  Annie, how do you determine which of these two attitudes best describes
Your chosen path when you feel thwarted from achieving a heartfelt goal?

I'd reply:  Today's logical stream of conscious thought serves as
A prime example, clarifing the historical inner workings of my mind:

When my need to realize a heartfelt goal feels thwarted, my determined attitude
Remains focused on brainstorming toward change for the better, all around ...

And thus, a relentless, narrow-minded person with a narcissistic bent
I know myself not to be, and here is why that's true:

Before my spirit's comfort zone feels free to express my thoughts aloud
My mind has need to draw forth self confidence, supported by ...

My life long quest to absorb pertinent knowledge, which inspires my sense of
Humility to identify personal vulnerabilities in need of shoring up, suggesting that ...

I think to ask myself the same penetrating questions that
My intuitive trains of thought ask you to consider, too ...

1362 THE ESSENTIAL THING ...

Pierre de Coubertin in 1925
2nd President of the International Olympic Committee
In office 1896–1925 "The essential thing is not the triumph but the struggle" Insight suggests that mustering the determination necessary to Master a challenge (which has repeatedly met with failure) refuels The human spirit's desire to struggle forth until hard won success has Been achieved, and thus do we define determination as a personal trait that Drives mankind to muster the self confidence necessary to Continue to develop inner strengths (both mental and physical) as We inch forward on the historical time line, making Such sound use of our solution-seeking noodles as to absorb The wealth of knowledge that proves necessary to achieve any Heartfelt, long range goal, which, though beyond mastery, today May match one's reach at a later date, suggesting better late than never Needless to say, if progression toward achieving a long range goal is to Meet with success then a pattern of thought, which has become Stuck in a cyclical rut must be identified before clarity can Recognize which negative attitude has created a closed mindset, which Proves in need of expansion before change for the better can gather Momentum, and here's why that's true: Closed mindsets are as stubborn and hard to change as habits, which is why Coom sense suggests seeking astute coaching, skilled in carving New pathways of thought where positive focus encourages our spirits To thrive; otherwise we can expect our present trains of thought to take us No place better, tomorrow, than wherever we find ourselves stuck, today And when our spirits feel stuck in quicksand, they,  like any living thing Will continue to sink unless we, who are sinking Think to reach out to accept a helpful hand, attached to a mind whose Insightful strengths prove well practiced at adjusting Narrow comfort zones to match a well-grounded sense of Open mindedness that offers emotional tension a sense of Expanded brain space in which to uncoil, and as Narrow mindsets, limited by unresolved guilt, Expand to absorb new patterns of thought, the persistence of Intuition, knowing the spirit's need for change for the better Creates a relaxed comfort zone that runs deeper than Had been possible when mental tension had tied Intelligent thought into such tight little knots as to have Blocked intuitive trains of thought from Making its way through the tunnel of darkness toward The light, where a bright new sense of rebalanced Self awareness, based in insights, dancing clearly into view Spotlight the heavy weight of baggage that your Brain and mine have struggled to identify and unload, and once That change for the better is ours, guess what feels so free of Yesteryear's festering pain as to dance a jig? Yup!  Our revitalized spirits!  Makes sense, right? BTW, If you've not yet considered the difference between 'Determined' and 'relentless', may I respectfully suggest that There's no better time than now ...

1361 THE PUZZLE ROOM

Last night, figuring our way out of

The Puzzle Room was really fun!

Since our evening's entertainment provided

A mental workout as stimulating as

Running on a treadmill, a quickening of
Heartbeats felt palpable as

The time on the clock ran down

Just imagine the surging charge we'd have enjoyed

Had we won!  Yup!  We failed
Failed to figure out every obscure clue necessary
To free ourselves from The Puzzle Room ...

And though failing doesn't inspire laughter

Laugh we did!  In fact, while puzzling our way

Through this mini, mind-bending adventure

I was amazed at how inventive
The human brain proves to be while unlocking
One piece of a puzzling mystery, which
Feeds directly into the next, until I observed
All ten brains working in tandem to
Solve each next leg of the puzzle by

Plugging into each other's energy fields, forming
An electric circuit, thus catalyzing a group of

Six friends plus four strangers to react
Like teammates, pitching ideas, back and forth, which
When on target, inspired everyone to
Brainstorm toward achieving a common goal ... And
Each time an illusive clue caused our team to feel so
Wholly dazed and confused as to admit to
Being stymied, guess which teammate
(Knowing that time waits for no one) made

A friend of Big Brother (who'd monitored
Our progress from the ceiling screen)

Yup!  Your friend, Annie, the self awareness sleuth
Who dives ever more deeply into mental activity than
Conscious awareness can fathom on its own by
Mustering the humility to request assistance from
Those who have chosen to absorb
A greater sum of knowledge pertaining to
A specific subject than that which
Has been stored in my memory bank, thus far ...

Five minutes more, and we'd surely have beat
The clock, freeing us from remaining captive within
The narrow confines of The Puzzle Room ...

At any rate, I highly recommend indulging in this

Brain-teasing treat with a group of your
Fun-loving friends, and as this mind-bending
Challenge to free oneself from mental constraint
Was first conceived of in Budapest
I'll bet it can be enjoyed wherever you reside

1360 DANCING SPIRITS PROVE CONTAGIOUS!

Refueling, whether it be mind or body, makes my spirit want to dance

And as a dancing spirit proves contagious

My brain frees all of me to clown around, everywhere I go

Each time my mindful quest to deepen self awareness offers

Another layer of my defensive wall sound reason to loosen up

My younger than springtime attitude slips out and dances a jig ... until

A crystal clear view of reality suggests need for downtime to refuel as
Proved true on Friday when my energy-fizzle couldn't deny this fact of life:
Birthdays pile up so swiftly

As to seem to be celebrated twice each year!

Last night, we enjoyed an evening of fun with a group of friends, who

Invited us to recharge our wits by joining them in 'A Great Escape'...

More about that 'race the clock' adventure when next we meet ...

1359 ACCOMPLISHING TODAY'S GOAL

On Friday, my trainer rang my bell at 11:30 am, as planned
After he left, my body reclined, and my brain switched off
If you ask:  What made that happen?  I'd reply:
The sum of my parts voted, unanimously, to do nothing but rest
And as rest is what all of me has needed for weeks
I spent the entire day accomplishing this personal goal
I mean, how else does one fully refuel after running on fumes?
Makes sense, right?

1358 SPIRIT SPARKLING ... BODY STILL POOPED

Wow!  Though my brain's been busily bouncing insights into plain sight, the rest of my body's been sleeping soundly as a log, every night!  Why?  Because, from 'rise and shine' to 'sweet dreams, good night', my waking hours have been running marathons,  non-stop!

Throughout each day, I think my brain is running just fine until sundown, when this or that turns up undone.  Then, upon glancing over my to-do list before tossing it, guess what I find?  Those items, left undone, written as clear as clear can be, suggesting that rather than running fully fueled, my think tank is coasting on fumes, and that makes me say:  This is how my cellphone must feel while recharging with too many windows left open, over night..

Thank goodness, our 50th anniversary party will not take place next week, as originally planned, or I might sleep walk straight through our gala celebration!

Upon returning from the coast on Monday, we learned that Celina wasn't well, so after work on Tuesday, Steven brought Ravi over for dinner, and we enjoyed each other's company.  Then, on Wednesday, Steven dropped Ravi off on his way to work, suggesting my enjoying a bonus day with my sweet playmate while her mommy recovered her strength, and when this precious child squealed with delight to see her Gramma's arms open wide to carry her into our own private playland, my smile re-energized, and my sense of joy refueled until Celina's mom picked up Ravi, offering me an hour to nap before the doorbell rang at five PM, when Will and I embraced Steven's high school girlfriend, Tammy, who, having toured several national parks over spring break with her husband, son (12)  and daughter (10), chose to make their way to the desert to spend time with us before driving back to their home in Colorado, on Friday.

As Tammy and I had not enjoyed each other's company for six years, both spirits felt palpably enriched by the fact that our hearts, longing for reconnection, had made good use of our noodles to create a plan that made our mutual dream come true.  Though Tammy (who'd attended The University of Puget Sound on a soccer scholarship) and Steven (who chose to attend Emory in Atlanta) broke up during their college separation, she and I chose to nurture our friendship, over the years.  Tragically, Tammy's mom died when she was eight, so, naturally, we adopted each other, forever.

Holy cow!  Just glanced at the clock, and as it's past 1AM, suggesting my need to switch gears from penning this post to getting some shut eye before awakening to another pre-planned play date with Ravi, beginning at the breakfast shop where we meet up with my niece and nephew, most Thursdays.  So with thoughts of enjoying another happy, people-who-love-people day, followed by Steven's arrival to fetch Ravi at 5:30, at which time friends plan to whisk Will and me off to dinner and the theater, curtain rising at 7:30 ... hopefully, while enjoying their company, my head won't fall into my soup!

Though my sparkling eyes speak of our winter whirlwind fueling my spirit, my  body offers me a reality check (concerning how many birthdays I've celebrated), during the few evenings, which find Will and yours truly at home, snoozing in front of the TV by 8PM ... That's not to say I'd choose to live life differently, because I'm aware of change knocking, uninvited, at our door, during each stage of life, so as long as heartfelt connections remain healthy enough to travel, I'll embrace every opportunity to welcome treasured family and friends into our home no matter how easily I tire as these hectic winter months fly by ...

And now that it's way past time for my heart, spirit, soul and hopefully, my mind to catch the Dreamland Express, where my smile will sleepily reflect, appreciatively, over my life, I plan to drift into that coveted place of peaceful repose, where memory reminisces over an on-going series of blessed events, most especially moments when an adorable little girl (whose habit is to play on the front lawn with her mommy and Rhodesian Ridgeback, Tova, while awaiting her Gramma's arrival), spies my shiny red SUV pulling into her driveway, and since she (like me) can sense lots of fun lying directly ahead, Ravi's beaming smile toddles joyfully toward my car while I park and leap out, eager to catch this precious little bundle of positive energy in my arms, and while holding Ravi close to my heart, my spirit can't help but rejoice over my good fortune, which highlights this fact:  Time and again, my younger-than-springtime-attitude feels sound reason to swirl all signs of aging fatigue away ... And my heart sincerely hopes that you, too, may enjoy countless five star days, followed by nights, which offer your heart, mind, spirit and soul sound reason to replenish the source of your younger than springtime attitude upon arising from restful hours of peaceful repose  ...

Your forever friend,

Annie

PS
Though penned whenever I managed to squeeze a bit of writing time into my busy days on Wednesday and Thursday, this post was not published until right before I went to sleep, sometime after 1AM, Friday 'morning'.