I've been reflecting upon concepts presented in post 557, concerning attitudes leaning toward positive thoughts rather than negative thoughts, and that train of thought offered me reason to consider times when my mind leaned toward attitudes based in positive possibilities vs times when my mind supported attitudes based in fear or fantasy when reality was too painful to face head on.
If you asked, Annie, how can you tell when positive focus and fantasy get mixed up? I'd reply: It's true that subconscious need is empowered to cause the thought processor to bark up the wrong tree, meaning that, at times, we need to figure out if one side of the mind is leading the other astray. when I need to figure out whether or not my brain is fooling me, here 's how I've learned to respond ...
First of all, common sense suggests sleeping on the dilemma ...
Then, after sleeping on it, which gives both sides of my mind time to confer and work as a whole, I sit down to write, hopeful that conscious awareness may pop up on your screen and mine at the very same time (for example, I have no clue where this current train of thought is taking me next).
You see, I have a feeling that whenever I'm wrestling with a recurrent dilemma, some portion of my awareness is mired in denial, meaning that I'm wrestling with a truth that may prove too painful to show itself in its entirety to me ... however, with time and patience and faith in my mind's ability to clarify the difference between fantasy and reality, eventually self trust (instinct) will clarify a bigger picture and a should will pop out of my mouth, showing me the root of whatever is deviling my peace of mind ... In most cases this should proves to be a dictate of society to which my independent spirit is insistently resistant.
At this point if you asked, Annie, how do you know this is true? I'd say, well ... let's see where this current train of thought leads my mind to next ...
I am a well-seasoned problem solver
I know my mind's defense system is programmed to play tricks on me
I also know my intelligence can piece puzzle pieces together until bigger pictures appear
So each time one side of my mind wrestles with the other (fantasy vs. reality?)
I've learned to patiently allow the wrestling match to continue
Until instinct offers an insight and the victor emerges, at last ...
If you say: OK, now you've lost me ... I'd offer a small, wistful smile and reply ...
This is leap of faith time, my friends ...
This is time for us to place our faith in my solution-seeking history ...
This is time to play the game of wait and see what develops on its own
Because, time and again, that which proves real tends to loom larger
Than any fantasy subconscious need conjures up
So, rather than working my mind into a tizzy
Trying to unwind strings of fantasy from lines based in reality
I've learned to have faith that given free rein
My brain, acting as a whole
Will work to resolve inner conflict as long as
I can tolerate tension while my Neo cortex is processing
The entirety of the problem ...
As a member of the higher species within the animal kingdom
I'll not allow my brain to wrestle with unresolved delemmas
Like a gerbil, running on a wheel, in a cage
Instead, I'll direct my conscious train of thought
Toward this fact: While my mind is experiencing
A current state of puzzlement
As to where it may be best for me to turn
Here is what I'll choose to do until clarity is mine
I'll couple up with 'wait and see' and
Rest my mind from complexity and
Simply ... Coast ... Until
Mental clarity grows so astute as to
Offer me more than a glimpse
Of that which separates
Reality, worth working toward
From fantasy so far fetched as to do naught but wear me out
In stories to come, you'll see many examples of my mind
Excavating unprocessed (repressed) emotion
That leaps out of my subconscious when a current stress
Seems similar to stress, which
My defense system had subconsciously repressed in its
Raw and thus unhealed state ...
